Dog Eat Dog – NFL Cheerleaders: Hey Rah Rah Sister, Who You Calling a “Dog Pound”?!?!?!
Hey gang, welcome back to Dog Eat Dog. Just to show that I don’t just think about this show for a one hour stint every Tuesday, I actually read an article about the host, Brooke Burns in Parade Magazine in my Sunday paper last week,. A link is here and I recommend you check it out, as there is a picture of Brooke wearing something other than all black. Perhaps it is NBC who wants Brooke to go “Goth” this season. I liked this article because I’ve found out that Brooke and I have a couple of things in common, including 3 year old daughters who enjoy watching Dog Eat Dog to see people go swimming and do silly stuff. Unlike Brooke’s daughter, my daughter doesn’t claim that Dog Eat Dog is “Mommy’s show” but that’s only because she doesn’t know I’m the world’s premier (and likely only) Dog Eat Dog internet re-capper. Ah yes, Brooke and I have so many things in common.
But, back to the recap . . . Tonight, Brooke is wearing a shirt that only has one button, rather J-Lo of her, all black, of course, with skin tight black pants that look like they were spray painted on. This week we have 6 NFL cheerleaders all competing for $25,000, not charity like some “celebrity” versions of game shows, but then I’ve read that the Minnesota Vikings cheerleaders are not paid for cheering (get free game tickets and some other perks, but no compensation), so hey, play for the cash sweeties, why not. Maybe then you can afford some clothing that would cover your midriff.
Who are our Rah Rah Sisters tonight?
Tiffany Bowen Jacksonville Jaguars – very competitive, second degree black belt. Long curly dark hair. She seems spunky, I like her. Jaguar print pants, and sure enough, we later get to see her jaguar print bikini.
Michelle Beisner Denver Broncos – Describes herself in 4 words: quick, fast, smart, risky. Then she counts to 4 on her fingers. Hey, I’ll be both Brooke’s daughter and mine can do that too. Somebody hand those girls some pompoms. Michelle’s got a cutesy little team outfit to match her completely generic Barbie Doll look.
Nicole Douglas Philadelphia Eagles – Introduces herself by saying: “you can’t measure how bad I want to win.” Wearing a tinfoil looking cropped halter top, changes into a black bikini with short shorts. Her “squad” did a lingerie calendar this year. Brooke says “somebody’s websites is going to get a lot of hit tonight”. Which website, the FORT? Let’s hope so, but more likely it’s http://www.philadelphiaeagles.com/st...s/default.asp? (thanks for the link, Visitor). Yessiree Bob, here at the FORT, we’re your one-stop Dog Eat Dog shop.
Angela Miller Cincinnati Bengals – Describes herself as a strong minded individual, wearing a silly bow-tie looking team outfit. She changed into a black bikini for her water challenge.
Sheila Ohl – Seattle Seahawks – I like to poke fun at people. That’s special, sweetie. I can’t tell her apart from Angela, though, so I’ll just make fun of both of you.
Ayesha Robinson – Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Describes herself as driving, “I’m going to push myself 20 times harder, no fun, just business.” She seems very perky, wearing a cute little pirate puffy sleeved cropped shirt, ARRRGH, Mateys. She bucks the black binkini trend and reveals a cute red bikini with hot pants.
Flush Out Crawl – pick someone who’s all washed out, it’s time to pick the LOSER! Ayesha, voted unanimously by her competition. The only one with short hair, very cute and spunky looking, though Ayesha did not reveal the sexiest possible posture when she was “elephant walking” up the Plexiglas tube trying to avoid getting squirted out the other end by a strong stream of water. Poor Ayesha didn’t have a chance and was the first member of the Dog Pound.
Break the Ice – Brooke gives us some of her (according the Parade article) patented “ad libs” and says “someone’s gonna get the cold shoulder.” Oh, insightful. Nicole, with all the talk about her lingerie calendar, the other girls want to see what’s underneath her uniform. JR slips into a coma, but please don’t wake him, he’s happy there. Nicole needs to break through blocks of ice and doesn’t have a TAR blow-torch like they did in an ice block challenge in Alaska. Nicole flexes her muscles and smashes right through it and puts the rectangle into a box underwater. This is an adult version of the shape sorter toy like my daughter used to have, until she found it no longer challenging. The shapes were, however, quite a challenge for Nicole, as was putting on the swimming mask. She finally get the blue triangle, but is getting exhausted with the swimming and doesn’t complete the challenge.
The Perfect Storm – wind and rain over the tank, need to grab flags and Brooke perkily informs us that “someone here won’t like the weather.” Tiffany, the final non-blonde, gets the nod and has to climb a cargo net amid wind and rain to try to grab flags while the net is dropping around her, and she wins the challenge, first person to do that this show. She looks very nice wet, with her thick curly hair back in a pony tail. She send Michelle to the Dog Pound, saying politely that she thought she was bigger, better competition, when really she though Michelle was a bigger, better bitch. Meiow.
Celebrity Photo IDs - the two remaining carbon blondes pick Tiffany again, and are rather bitchy about it. Right now I’m hoping that either Tiffany beats this challenge too and wins, or if she doesn’t that the Pound takes it from the Top Dog, as neither of the Barbie Twins deserves the $25,000 in my book. Unlike the other times I’ve seen this same stunt performed on DED, for some reason Tiffany now needs to ride up on a trapeze swing, in her swimsuit, and hang suspended upside down for the revealing of the morphed photos. What does hanging upside-down in a swim suit have to do with photo identifications? Why nothing, unless your cast is composed entirely of hot young NFL cheerleaders. JR is cheering, but Tiffany fails to recognize enough stars and needs to a dive, or rather an uncomfortable belly flop, into the pool.
Head to Head Rappelling a wall to unlock boxes at the top, Barbie Twins Angela and Sheila are very evenly matched, and honestly I can’t tell them apart once they were both in black bikinis with safety harnesses. Sheila and Angela were really evenly matched until Sheila slipped and Angela took the lead. They have on sexy water shoes to protect their feet while rappelling. Ok, yeah, water shoes, they aren’t sexy at all, but neither are blisters or big scrapes on your feet. Sheila get knocked down by a wall of water when Angela got the final key.
Angela faces the Dog Pound in the Trivia Contest for Cash – this should be interesting.
Business – Ayesha gets picked with Angela’s bitchy comment, “as a teacher, you probably don’t know much about ‘business’.” The question: “What media mogul came under congressional investigation in 2002 for selling ImClone stock just before it plunged” Martha Stewart – CORRECT. Looks like Ayesha took care of business.
Celebrities – Nicole – “What Academy Award-winning actress from L.A. Confidential bought the town of Braselton for $20 Million in 1990?” Kim Bassinger – CORRECT
Those pesky brunettes got two right.
Television – Tiffany, the final non-blonde once again “What Friends actress once played Michael J Fox’ girlfriend on Family Ties?” Jennifer Aniston, WRONG, Courtney Cox Arquette, of course. I’m dating myself now by revealing that I remember when Courtney Cox got her start in the entertainment industry by being the “cute girl picked out of the crowd” to dance with the Boss in the Bruce Springsteen video for Dancing in the Dark. Geeze, I’m old.
Fashion – Sheila doesn’t date herself and in fact reveals that she thinks that the GAP family of stores is more of a dynasty than it really is when she’s asked: “What 100 year old store which outfitted Teddy Roosevelt and Ernest Hemmingway for safaris regularly includes sex and drinking tips in its quarterly catalog?” Banana Republic? WRONG, it’s Abercrombie and Fitch
Music – Michelle, who was the only contestant who didn’t get to model her bikini this episode, was asked: “Songs in A Minor was the debut album from what Grammy winner for song of the year in 2002?” Alicia Keyes – CORRECT and the Dog Pound WINS.
WOOF, WOOF, WOOF.
Tune in next week for more Dog Eat Dog mayhem.