Crossing That Bridge Won’t Make You Top Dog
We’re welcomed back again by lovely Brooke Burns in a black leather (or is it pleather) corset and tight black pants. I think we’ve seen Brooke wear nothing but black all season, and I’m beginning to wonder if she’s secretly a Goth. I apologize that I missed the first couple of seconds with my VCR, so only saw the intros for half of the contestants. BravoFan would take this opportunity to pitch the advantages of Tivo, but hey, I’m happy to have a working VCR at this point, thank-you very much, so if any viewers / readers want to give us more info about the contestants, please feel free to add a post to the discussion thread in the Dog Eat Dog forum. I do thank our volunteer vid-cappers and will be trying to post some of those that I’ve received by email shortly, but was having computer problems. So sorry. It’s been a wonderful addition to the forum. You know, I also recap Meet My Folks *hint, hint*
Trying something new this week, because I’m recapping two shows in two days, I’m mixing the contestant intros and fashion statements in with their challenge descriptions. It should make for a pretty darn quick read, which should meld well with the demographics for this show. Yeah, I’m one of ‘em, I can say that.
Scott Harden is wearing a tight army green colored t-shirt with yellow piping. It reminds me of some “homemade” Packer apparel that my home state ‘Sconnie folks come up with to wear to the beach in the summer. The question isn’t are the Cheeseheads going to wear green and gold, it’s whether or not there is an official NFL logo on the apparel. Scott says his motto is “Believe, Achieve, Receive” and he’s going to “Raise the Bar” on this show. I’ll raise a frosty mug to this show, as you just can’t find actors to say cheesy lines like that without cracking up.
Scott gets picked for the first challenge, Climbing Up a Tube out of the Water to Grab Rings in a Speedo. The women who voted for him say that it’s because they want to see his swim suit again. Oh yeah, he wore an Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weenie red Speedo bikini. Ok, not Teeny Weenie, but I’m thinking there was a pair of socks stuffed down there. His hair is very poofy, styled with lots of expensive hair products, tested by hairstylists, not on animals. As soon as he hits the water, he looks like a drowned rat, with droopy wet hair plastered all over his head. Oooops, maybe we should have picked a woman for this stunt.
Scott starts out strong but gets tired and can’t complete the challenge. I was wondering why he was bothering to climb down the nets after retrieving the rings, rather than just dropping down into the pool. Perhaps it was because he didn’t particularly want to become a human pinball in those Plexiglas tubes. No pain, no gain, and Scott gets the first seat in the Dog Pound.
Lara Rhodes is an events planner from Toronto, the first Canadian I remember being on this show. It’s abooot time, eh? Pass the poutine, and let’s meet Lara, who is wearing a red tank top with grey edging. She has long brunette hair back in a ponytail.
Lara is picked to try to cross The Rope Bridge, a new stunt involving a bridge that collapses as the flag-containing canisters are opened. Note, this stunt does not require a swim suit. Why did you guys pick Lara? Sik-End (yup, that’s his name, at least that what they’re calling him on the show) has an excuse about thinking the others would pick Carin instead, sucking up so Lara won’t boot him if she beats the challenge. And she did (quite impressively, I must say), so Carin went to the Pound because her birthday was in December, which is closer to June than Sik-End’s birthday of February? Lucky to have a functional VCR, I confirmed that was what Lara said. Carin is booted because December is closer to June (6 months) than February (4 months). Um, ok, I guess in Canada they use a hockey based calendar, in which July, August, September and the first half of October do not count because it’s not prime hockey season, so really December is only 3 ½ months from June. Really, I have no clue, that is what she said.
Carin Tejidor is very pretty but has a disturbing Celine Dion vibe about her. We never got to know her inner Diva, however, because Lara sent her to the Dog Pound after successfully completing the collapsing rope bridge challenge. Carin is wearing a plunging neckline white or really light pink t-shirt (hey, I’ve got a crappy TV too, once this website takes off maybe I can get John to spring for some decent video equipment for his re-cappers) with cap sleeves. NBC executives are cursing at their TVs right now, as that is now two females to avoid getting into swimwear tonight.
Finally, I get to introduce Sik-End, a musician from Chino, California. I’m guessing it’s not a country and western band, as Sik-End is totally Goth, with long black hair in stringy braids, tattered and safety-pinned black clothing, various tattoos and piercings, and my very least favorite physical aspect of Sik-End, the ugliest goatee I have ever seen. I was hoping he’d get picked for a “who can shave your face the fastest” challenge, but alas, Sik-End is picked to do Trivia on a Platform to decrease the distance for your Jump for a Ring. He gets four shots at jumping for a ring suspended high over the pool, with the opportunity to move the ring closer with each trivia question he gets right. He is guaranteed to get wet. JR is throwing things at his TV at this point.
In an unprecedented move, Brooke asks Sik-End to strip down into his swim skivvies right on stage. He’s sporting tons of Goth Jewelry, and Brooke seizes the opportunity to put on his spiked dog collar. (Let’s hope our vidcapper got that, as Brooke was BEGGING for a publicity shot out of that stunt.) Sik-End’s got tons of tattoos on his back and chest, and crazy striped red and black stockings that he’s wearing with his black trunks and water shoes.
What City in the Ukaraine was the site of the worst nuclear disaster ever – Chernobyl? Sik-End’s surprised at the answer because it sounds like he’s heard of it. He jumps and misses, and it’s hard to tell the he got all wet because his long braided ‘do doesn’t reflect moisture the same way that Scott’s over-styled hair did earlier in the show.
What is the largest island in the Mediterranean Sea – Hawaii? Nah, it’s Sicily, Hawaii is in the Pacific Ocean.
Which company with distinctive boxes for Jewelry designed the Superbowl Trophy (which any football fan can tell you is the Lombardi Trophy) – Tiffany. This “Man” got the jewelry question right. He leaps, and reaches the ring. Victory for Sik-End!
Hair flying behind him like Medusa, Sik-End beats this challenge, and if not for his drippy eyeliner, you’d hardly know that he was soaking wet. Brooke’s got a thing for his Goth-wear and wipes some of his eyeliner off with her hands. She can’t keep her hands off Sik-End or his accessories, seriously, I wouldn’t be surprised to see Brooke sporting that spiked dog collar on next week’s show, as she’s loving the Goth accoutrements. Sik-End sends Lara to the Pound, yet another hot chick who will not be wearing a swim suit this episode.
Nikki Weins is wearing a pink tank top and has her long hair pulled back with some carefully arranged bangs left free. Sik-End and our final contestant, Brandt Wiwi (introduction forthcoming) pick Nikki for The Big Wheel. I honestly couldn’t tell if she was in a swim suit or not, as she was covered with safety harnesses. Nikki goes over head first and totally blows this challenge. She’s obviously not a viewer, as this is a stunt from last year and everyone else has turned around at the top to go down feet first. This is like climbing a ladder. Would you go down one head first? If you wanted to test out the elasticity of the safety harnesses you might.
Time to meet the final contestant, Brandt Wiwi who has been talking trash all night. I think it was just overcompensation for his unfortunate last name. In most states you can legally change your name for less than $50, Brandt, something you may want to consider. Brandt looks like a prettier Tom Cruise, without the ugly nose, but he just reeks “jerk” from every orifice.
Brandt and Sik-End in the pool for Head to Head. It’s a cool new challenge with climbing up both sides of a rappelling wall over a pool to open boxes with keys. They can’t see each other when they are climbing, but when the second box is opened, a wall of water will knock the other contestant off. Brandt looks much more athletic than Sik-End and I would have thought he’d be able to scale the wall just based on upper-body strength faster than scrawny Goth-boy, but Sik-End impressed the heck out me and won this challenge and is this week’s Top Dog.
Trivia for the Cash I have to admit when I first saw the contestants, I was not terribly impressed with Sik-End, but he won two very physical challenges and kept a good sense of humor about him, and Brooke couldn’t keep her hands off of him, so I’d warmed to the little punk and was hoping that the Dog Pound wouldn’t walk off with the prize this week. Here are the trivia questions:
Music – Lara, who manages a band. Claims she has a bad memory, but who the hell doesn’t know which international icon Mark David Chapman killed in 1980 outside the Dakota apartment building. “I know for a fact it is NOT John Lennon” Lara proclaims, to much eye-rolling from the Dog Pound. She does some really complicated math analysis to figure out how old she was in 1980, and then changes it to say “John Lennon” which is of course the right answer. OMG, that’s lame, but still a point for the Dog Pound.
Books – Brandt, who has four degrees, claims to have been an avid reader. In 2002, what author of “Carrie” and “The Green Mile” announced his retirement. Has no idea, won’t give an answer. Of course it was Stephen King. Dumbass. All tied up.
Science – Carin, Bayer Company tripled production of what antibiotic used to treat inhalation anthrax in 2001? She has no idea, but of course it’s Cipro, which I’ve been on probably half a dozen times because I’m allergic to Penicillin and get scads of pesky sinus infections that last for a month, lovely Minnesota winters. Sorry, too much recapper information.
Famous People – Nikki, what is the name of the Texas billionaire and late husband of reality series star Anna Nicole Smith. She has no clue, but it’s J. Howard Marshall, II. That was the final point that Sik-End needed to claim the $25,000 prize.
Congrats, Sik-End, and join us next week for another thrilling episode of Dog Eat Dog. If you have any comments for the author, have vidcaps you’d like me to attempt to post when not battling my crappy set-up, or are a contestant who would like to have an interview for the site, please contact me at email@example.com m