Greetings, darlings! This is our final installment of The Fashion Show and I couldn’t be happier. As we’ve already seen the final collections, there wasn’t much for MizRo to do this week. Thus, we’re stuck with a reunion-type finale, but thankfully sans Andy Cohen. Well, Bravo, at least you got that part right. Reunion shows are the bane of a recapper’s existence, so we’re going to run this down by the numbers and see what exactly did happen.
*All of the designers are back for this reunion, and Angel even wears an updated version of her successful white shirtdress look. Awesome marketing, Angel!
*Andrew’s Panty Christ business has “exploded” due to his time on the show, but he’s still bitter about being voted off. Many giggles ensue at the notion of men’s underwear “exploding.”
*Isaac must be a fan of The Bachelor, because he calls looking back at any one of the finalists’ time on the show a “journey.”
*Reco’s “journey” ended in a pile of bitterness. He should join Andrew, but his bitterness is at least justified.
*The judges claim they did not conspire against Reco, nor did they all smoke from the same crackpipe when they booted him. Fern thinks they were smoking the right thing and Isaac says Reco’s collection did not live up to his potential.
*Reco’s death stare could kill a person; it’s a good thing Isaac has a protective layer of hair gel at all times.
*What the designers wore themselves cannot escape comment: Haven’s love for shorts, Johnny’s affinity for looking like Fred Flintstone, Lidia’s creepy little girl outfits, and pretty much everything Merlin ever wore all get the attention of the video package. The montage makes me think that the judges should have turned the tables and booted someone based on what they wore, and not what they made.
*Kelly has never heard the term “man berries.” Kelly needs to get out more.
*Daniella’s “journey” consisted of fighting to win, rather than aiming to be a bitch.
*Fern thinks the fashion industry wants to turn everyone into a bitch.
*This show has turned me bitchier than usual. I think Fern needs to see a hair stylist, pronto.
*Merlin’s decoy collection was very colorful and full of helmets. Fern didn’t think it was much of a collection, but more suitable for a Broadway production.
*Merlin says he’s going to stick to who he is and not lie to himself. Keith thought the collection was beautiful.
*Johnny’s decoy collection was an homage to early 90’s looks of the likes of Janet Jackson and Pebbles, but very short and probably difficult to sit down in.
*Johnny admits the runway dress was a knock-off. Finally.
*Anna’s “journey” ended with her runway show as an homage to her earlier work on the show. And she realizes she’s the “crier” of the season.
*Haven’s love of shorts and jumpers with shorts stems from her love of her childhood in the 80s.
*Kristen, the chick who bailed after the first episode, has no regrets. Just really, shiny blonde hair and a look not unlike Britney Spears.
*Isaac loves that the “kids” were so opinionated and nasty about each others’ designs.
*Isaac regrets not seeing more of what Johnny D could have produced.
*James-Paul’s “journey” involved the intentional use of S&M gear, as imagined by indigenous people and he covered his models’ shoes because he was sure the shoes would not match the outfits.
*Angel cried at James-Paul’s collection because she could see the “passion” in his collection. Or maybe she was trying to out-cry Anna.
*Isaac could never understand what Merlin said. Curiously enough, Kelly could and would translate.
*Glenda Bailey makes another appearance and says she wanted to be constructive in her judging but not provide false hope.
*Glenda, here’s some constructive criticism: go with Fern to see a hair stylist. See, this fashion-makes-you bitchy thing is catching.
*James-Paul’s winning look sold the most on Bravo’s site, much to the surprise of Isaac. He thought it would have been Johnny’s Versace outfit.
*The judges’ $10,000 prize goes to the most sophisticated and fashionable collection (according to them). They picked Daniella’s retread of 80s fashions.
*Glenda is going to hook Daniella up with some designers so she can learn from them.
*James-Paul only got 19% of America’s votes, so he does not win.
*Before they announce the winner, Anna and Daniella hold hands like Miss America contestants.
*Anna wins! She got 56% of the vote, and a model came out wearing her signature look.
*Anna thanks the judges, the voters, and gets hugs from everyone; all the while, the model just stands there stupidly on the mini-runway.
So that’s it for The Fashion Show. Buh-bye, darlings!