Ok I’m really confused now. (Of course, some would argue that doesn’t take much).
What the heck kind of competition is this?
Is it an amateur competition to bring a new talent to the masses? Alternatively, is it one to bring the hangers on, and fringe performers who may not have gotten a chance, to light? Harlemm isn’t really Harlemm, but Gerry - and he isn’t 28, he’s 37 and had a previous record contract. Alex performed for Debbie at the Lincoln center as a youngster. Serena toured with Gladys Knight for five years. Kind of a stacked deck, ya think ? Wait folks! The best is yet to come…
Allyson gets the first heads up. She performs ‘We Are Family’, trying to put her definite Broadway tilt in the past. She covers the stage well and surprises me with her performance. She is gushing at the end how she didn’t expect to still be here. Only JoJo gets to comment, saying the performance was way different that what he expected and called it a left hook. He said he’s through doubting Allyson. Translated that means it’s the first song she’d done he recognized, and thought she may be talented after all.
Well it’s seven eps in, and you would assume that they would be getting the production under control. After all, Debbie’s folks put on the Emmys and Oscars, and they are a one shot deal. When the celebrity judges signed on, presumably it was for some public exposure. The producers have decided to replace most of the judges comments with lame game show music (I think from- who wants to be a Millionaire, but I’m not sure. Funny how true that would be, if it is *snicker*). This is supposed to create excitement and tension, but only creates annoyance at Chez Eny. Hey, the reason I liked this show at the beginning, was the absence of AI like faux drama.
I’m sure the celebrity judges aren’t too pleased either at having their spots cut. The comments have been pretty good, with not a ‘Yo Dawg’ in sight. Lose the music, bring back the judges.
It also time in the show for the performers to cut loose on what they think of this spoiler thing. The consensus is that most of them are not too pleased to find a “stranger” in their midst. Especially since, they never had to do that Work routine. Harlemm and Justin seem to be especially bitter. Um Gerry, pot meet kettle on that cheating thing…
For the record, I think the spoiler thing is silly at this point. It should have been put in the show at the 12-performer stage. More about the Mr. Spoiler later.
(Cue bad game show Muzac) After last week’s bad performance, I’m surprised that Justin has squeaked through again. Never underestimate the power of a 12 yr old with phone access I guess. (OMG he’s SO cute. I’lL JuSt DiE iF hE GeTs BoOtEd, let’s organize to make sure that DoEsN’t HAPPEN)
Justin appears with darker hair each week for some reason. He performs an original rap (surprise), but this week his timing and delivery are improved. He walks back and forth across the stage throughout the rap , and ends with a series of crotch thrusts to wake up the tiger beat fans. Not horrible, not great, but not going away either.
Joey F seems animated at Justin’s performance. Am I missing something? Johnny uses the P word again (Potential as in not great now, but you could be), and added he was better, and that he “Has something” I just know Johnny has Justin’s tour planned already, of all the former Soviet republics where they don’t know rap.
(Cue the Muzac, pan over the scared faces. Ok it’s worse than AI now)
Serena is announced as the next finalist. She does Bette Midlers “ Wind Beneath my Wings” She starts by over singing each note, but levels out by the end. She does have a good voice, hitting that tricky bridge note easily. Bette wouldn’t be embarrassed at all. (Why does she have that one puka shell in her hair, I want to brush it off like a piece of fluff- Sorry distracted again)
Carnie has been crying, and thinks she’s going to be a huge star.
Serena seems to be a sweet girl, with no Divatude at all.
It’s July 4, and the kids come out all dressed for Yankee Doodle Dandy as their group performance. Unfortunately, an obscure Prince arrangement of America is used, and the whole thing just doesn’t quite flow. The only group performance I have enjoyed was the one where they redid “Fame”. How is this crap supposed to showcase them? Not fair to any of them at all.
Alex gets the next call to perform. Please stop the Stevie Wonder songs. Everyone messes them up. Alex does Sir Duke. Not great, not horrible. I’m channeling Simon again, and that can’t be good. Alex will have to be better to win. They flash to the audience where they show Alex’s family, and bro, who resembles Jerry Houser. (I’ve seen Slap Shot a million times ok?). Back to Alex, JoJo says that “Chicks really dig Him” and that he has the “stuff”. I think JoJo means Alex has Mojo. He doesn’t actually mention his performance per se. As a thank you, Alex throws God into the mix. Yes when your performance is sub par, a mention of God will get a few more votes – very astute.
Time for more Moy. She’s got the best clothes again; as she performs Al Greens “Let’s stay together” She does a really confident performance, as if she owns the stage. Like Arnie S – She’ll be back. Carnie echoes this sentiment.
Harlemm is next (No shock there). He sticks to the girlie songs, giving us his take on Ms Whitney’s “Greatest Love of All”. He doesn’t seem to ever have a note out of place, and no Kung Fu Whitney tonight. Harlemm adopts the pop star stance, with arms outstretched and barely any movement at all. S’ok GW, we know you can dance.
Johnny compliments his consistency, and the emotion put into his delivery.
Carnie holds up her Planet Harlemm T-shirt.
Just four left and we have to endure the WWTBAM Muzac again.
Shannon yes – Raymond No. At least he gets some applause before Debbie/Mom leads him off stage. I think he’s crying.
Shannon does x-tina’s Fighter. We all know Ms Aguilera to be the ultimate booty dance girl, so I’m glad Shannon does a toned down version sans chaps. She makes up for an off week, by putting on a credible show.
JoJo mentions her off week last week, and wonders aloud what Johnny will do with her since he’s worked so much with Britney. (No the last thing the world need is ANOTHER BS . Let her be herself, or be X-tina . At least she has a voice) JoJo also offers to shave his head if she doesn’t move on. Shannon sends love to the troops as a nice (or calculated) thought. She is vying for votes remember, so don’t throw things at me.
Brandon and Jamieson have to stand for the final pause. Brandon stays, and Jamieson goes. I think she just had a string of bad luck, so no conspiracies talk ok? She gets a round of applause before leaving, so they have the boot details down anyway.
Brandon gives us a great interpretation of Bill Withers ‘Ain’t No Sunshine’. He starts out over singing the notes, but still puts in his best performance yet. He spends lots of time with his hair, as I note his braids are in a yet a different pattern. (At least five hours of sitting still) He’s also wearing the weird pants Alex had on last week. Hopefully not the exact same pair.
Carnie says it’s his best performance yet.
It’s time for the spoiler. Mr. (Kevin) “Tyce” Diorio. They didn’t mention the Kevin thing, (but then there is a lot they didn’t mention). He attended the real HS for the performing Arts. (And was in the dancers who performed at the Oscars and Emmys produced by Debbie) He teaches Hip Hop to children (And tours with Janet Jackson, JLo and Paula Abdul)
Yes just picked up off the street this one.
*Eny rolls eyes and wonders if they looked at any of the reported “thousands” of videos.*
We’ll see how he fits in, and how much of a backlash HIS past causes…
Eny may dis your fav, or compliment your most hated. Meh it’s a TV show. Go watch reruns of Gilligan's Island to calm yourself down before posting that our members are too mean. Cash and Catcalls to firstname.lastname@example.org