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Thread: Ep 5 Recap- Oh My God , You're Almost 40?

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    eny
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    Ep 5 Recap- Oh My God , You're Almost 40?

    Welcome to the real competition folks.

    I’ve been anxious all week.
    First up were survivor type exit confessionals from some of the twelve who didn’t make it. Unlike survivor ones which usually make me happy, these are painful to watch. Thankfully, they only played a few as I may have been sobbing if they played them all. I hate to get all mushy.

    The 12 finalists do the retooled Work number. I’m beginning to like it, as it really mirrors the journey the performers are taking. This one was a bit shaky again, as it was first time out with 12.I hope they all get to stick it out in the group numbers till the end.

    Joey and Debbie are still on stage together. Joey is evolving as host and I’m still wondering why Debbie is there. I think it’s just as moral support for the kids, and to keep JoJo and Carnie in line.

    Tonight the voting starts. Unlike AI where several people could vote like thousands, there is a five-vote limit per line. The only way they can do this is though some kind of number recognition technology. I’m hoping big brother isn’t keeping track of who calls for future telemarketing purposes. My 20 + years with Ma Bell makes me think like that I guess. (I’m reformed and outta there)

    They replay an audition with a girl who had a dress and no undies. Eww and Eww. She must have though it was a Penthouse audition. It had to have been brutal living through that audition process. I’m glad we are in the finals.

    Raymond Lee is first up. Poor Ray feels like the ugly duckling and plays a little violin. No Ray, it’s not a fiddle unless you are from Nashville and playing some good down home music.
    He sings the old Jackson’s “I Want You Back”. His dancing was funny, as in cute funny. His voice is pure pop heaven, and he has control of the audience. I love him.
    Judge Carnie echoes my thoughts with “It’s so hard not to like you” and “Don’t put yourself down”
    JoJo calls him the underdog who can sing and he likes him too.
    Johnny just repeats that his personality shines through.

    Debbie shows why she is onstage, to fight off any negative comments by the judges. I’m picturing a Simon Cowell death match, if he ever showed his face here. We are safe, as he’s off filming “Cupid”.

    Jamieson Tiangco is up next. She is shown in rehearsals twisting her ankle badly, and then holding her pose like nothing happened. She then had to be carried off the dance floor. She must have attended the NHL school of dancing, where you don’t stop unless your foot is ripped off.
    She performs Janet Jackson’s ‘Miss You Much’. It’s obvious she can’t hear, as she keeps grabbing the earpiece to her head mike and hits several bad notes. The dancing isn’t that great for the song. She is really distracted for the whole performance.
    Johnny likes her pants (?), and notes it was obvious she couldn’t hear herself. He tells her she needs to learn to recover from things like that.
    Carnie says she appeared distracted, and thinks she can do better.
    JoJo, notes the poor showing, but adds he still wants to marry her.
    I want someone to please fix the damn monitors in this studio!

    Moy performs next. She notes she has no money in the bank, and has already missed two car payments. I’d give a vote for that, even if she sucks. Good sympathy call.
    She is a stunningly pretty girl, and is dressed in a long white dress. She looks amazing. Then she opens her mouth and tries to fake Braxton’s ‘Unbreak My Heart’. No, No and No . Do not try this song unless you have it perfect, or you WILL look bad. She does.
    Johnny- nice outfit but you were “challenged” by the song.
    Carnie- Um that’s a hard song, but you are magical looking
    JoJo- You have it and I hope NEXT week you bring it.

    You know it’s bad when everyone compliments your outfit and not your singing.

    Brandon O’Neal makes me laugh, with his 16 yr olds view that the ‘old folks’ have it easy. They don’t have to attend school AND do this Fame thing. Brandon honey, that’s what the kids in the real High School for the Performing arts do daily. Get over it.
    He does Stevie Wonders ‘Knocks Me Off My Feet’ He just strolls around the stage, but sings very well.
    Carnie thinks he is ‘smooth’ and notes the lack of dance.
    Johnny is pleased that Brandon remembered his suggestion to get a song that showcased his vocals.
    JoJo missed the dancing, but notes he is ‘good’

    Allyson the ‘party animal’ is next. After she came home at five am several times, her parents bought her luggage for her 18th birthday.
    She then decided to become a grown up.
    She performs Celine Dion’s ‘Because You Loved Me’
    (I hate anything Celine. I hope they keep her locked up with Siegfried and Roy's white lions in Vegas forever.) I do note the back-up singers are out of tune, and she can’t sing the stronger notes well.
    Johnny mentions the shaky notes, but says he is proud she tried it.
    JoJo really gets my love and devotion when he says he is a fan of Allyson’s, and not of Celine’s. He then gives his “knocked it out of the park” analogy. He has only heard 3 seconds of the song before too, I suspect.
    Carnie says she has a beautiful voice, and says she came alive. She still sees her on Broadway.

    Justin Jacoby has the next performance. He is still happy his Dad is showing up, but then says he hopes he knows how much he and his sister have been hurt. I have a bad feeling, as I suspect Dad is the type to show when there is cash to be had.
    He does another original rap called ‘I Can Rock’.
    “If you don’t like butter you can spread me on your toast”
    Um yeah, not a rap fan here, but I hear my kids playing enough of it that I know bad stuff when I hear it. This is bad.
    He is also very out of breath.
    JJ- I like what you do but this didn’t match up with last week
    J- Raps a tough go, I’d take you to Europe. (Presumably, where they don’t know bad rap)
    C- “You are funny” Unfortunately for Carnie, Justin didn’t realize he was funny. She covers up with - you always do a good job.

    The Group performance is next. They do ‘Fame’* Sniff*, and do a wonderful job. Harlemm appears to be channeling Leroy.

    They have added a role in the musical ‘Fame’ to the prize package and we find out the representation will be from Wilhelmina. Not too shabby.

    Harlemm's goggles are because he is very nearsighted He wears them so he can dance and they are now broken. Can someone not get him some contacts? He sings Oleta Adams’s ‘Get Here”. Another obscure song. His singing however is unbelievable, so it doesn’t matter. The judges give a standing ovation.
    Johnny- was going to get all-macho that he was again singing a girlie song, but was drawn in by the singing and forgot about it.
    Carnies eyes are watering, and calls him “beyond”. She tells him she thinks he can win this.
    JoJo states he isn’t the cookie cutter type, and says he doesn’t care if he has binoculars strapped to his head. He notes his vocal control is astonishing.

    Lauren Hildebrandt has some fancy backtracking to do, after telling the world she would dump her boyfriend over Fame. Yes Lauren, you have learned rule number one of reality TV. You are ON TV. Many other people WILL hear what you say. Doh.
    She drags up another ghost from the disco grave, in Donna Summers “Last Dance”. She does a performance worthy of the Holiday Inn, with zero passion. I’m wondering if no one told her there were TV cameras here too.
    All three judges note the credible, but zero excitement performance.

    Gary Adams is frustrated by the other performers who don’t ‘get’ the directions as fast as he does. He thinks Serena is his competition. I guess she is the only one who ‘gets’ things as fast as he does. He goes for a Luther V song “Never Too Much”. Yes, when in doubt go for Luther, unless of course you have a hard time singing it. Several notes are really bad.
    JoJo and Johnny both note pitch problems but disagree on what notes. It doesn’t matter, as my untrained ear just heard BAD notes.
    Carnie ignores those bad notes altogether, and says his performance felt good and was mellow.
    Mr. Attitude says, although he respects their opinion, he thinks he did "Pretty good." I think only fairly good, and that won’t win the competition.

    Shannon Bex reads her internet critics, and is upset at being branded a Ho. She is claiming the Britney - I’m a misunderstood virgin thing. No cards and letters please. My sixteen yr old offered the best advice. If you don’t want to be thought of in that way, don’t let them dress you like one. True to form, she has let them dress her in a skirt cut to her crotch, and is wearing a black thong. That IS slut wear my dear.
    She does a very credible version of Tina Turners ‘Proud Mary’. Tough one to try but she is successful.
    JJ just says Wow
    Carnie calls her a star and adds she was ‘smoking’
    J points out that although she was hot stuff, she ran out of steam because she didn’t pace herself.

    Alex has also been online and doesn’t like the fact that he’s been called boy band material, and a heartthrob. The formerly fat kid is most upset with the hot guy brand. Yeah ok Alex- whatever. He sings ‘I Wish’ and is dressed in leather. All the guys are dressed in leather, while the girls (except for Jamieson) have been in pink frilly dresses. Stereotype much? Any way except for the hair, he does a serviceable performance.
    Carnie –Your voice is beautiful and so are you
    Johnny -smooth except for the forced dance steps
    JJ- liked it.

    Last up is Serena and she thinks her main competition is Harlemm. She has apparently been singing in Vegas lounges and doesn’t like it. Hey, Celine doesn’t mind it…
    She sings Miss Whitney’s ‘I Wanna Dance” and does hit the high notes.
    JJ thinks things are going to happen quickly for Miss Serena
    Johnny can foresee millions buying her CD’s
    Carnie has decided finally to be short & sweet. Awesome!

    The last part of the show is another ghost of Disco past - Staying Alive. Maurice must be rollin in his grave at the bad fake falsettos. It’s awful. The guys are dressed in Gap casual, while the girls are in Brady Bunch meets Flashdance.
    Who is picking this crap? Give these guys a chance will ya? Sheesh…

    It’s at this point Debbie makes the stunning announcement that Harlemm has come in under false pretences. Was he arrested? A porn star? A cross dresser? Nope – much worse. He’s 36 !!!! In today’s youth driven market, the previous three would have been preferable. Damn, and he was so good.

    Tune in for the first five minutes of the next show for the bootees. Yay!! No lame results shows. One less half hour, or hour of my life wasted. Don’t think I don’t appreciate it.

    Eny is happy things are getting better on the show. She was worried for a bit. I think it’s a vast FOX conspiracy that my NBC always goes fuzzy at Fame time. Hey Fox - get those idols to dance, and I’ll shut up. Send me corporate bribes at enygma@fansofreality.com

  2. #2
    FORT Fogey zippy's Avatar
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    Re: Ep 5 Recap- Oh My God , You're Almost 40?

    Originally posted by enygma
    Shannon Bex reads her internet critics, and is upset at being branded a Ho. She is claiming the Britney - I’m a misunderstood virgin thing. No cards and letters please. My sixteen yr old offered the best advice. If you don’t want to be thought of in that way, don’t let them dress you like one.
    That's exactly what my thirteen yr old said. Shannon needs to get a clue. Or maybe if her fiance wasn't so thrilled to watch her skank it up in public, she'd behave differently.

  3. #3
    Soccer Kicks Balls cali's Avatar
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    No Ray, it’s not a fiddle unless you are from Nashville and playing some good down home music.

    You know it’s bad when everyone compliments your outfit and not your singing.

    J- Raps a tough go, I’d take you to Europe. (Presumably, where they don’t know bad rap)

    Yes Lauren, you have learned rule number one of reality TV. You are ON TV. Many other people WILL hear what you say. Doh.

    Was he arrested? A porn star? A cross dresser? Nope – much worse. He’s 36 !!!! In today’s youth driven market, the previous three would have been preferable. Damn, and he was so good.
    LOVED it Eny

    Also wanted to note, I always enjoy your final little paragraph
    "Rice is great when you're hungry and want 2,000 of something' -- Mitch Hedberg

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    Loved the recap, although a little rough on a few of the girls. Maybe you should apply to be the spoiler. I find you extremely entertaining. A triple threat...you write, type and amuse. You got that " IT factor" goin on.

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    Pop Culturalist Mosaik's Avatar
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    Great recap Eny...

    "The NHL school of dancing" indeed... awesome reference.

    Cheers.
    ~M o s a i K~

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    Great recap, its pretty cool when a nice girl tells the nation that it is ok to have values and morals and not to fall into the rock star stereo type, and that she gets dissed for it. Ya she's a horrible role model for your 16yr old and your 13yr old kid to watch a women that says its ok NOT to fall for peer pressure and its ok to waite to til your married to have relations. Granted she does resemble Brittney Spears but it doesn't mean she is. There are other beautiful talented performers out there who wear less then what Shannon wore but they aren't labeled a skank or a Ho. I.E Faith Hill. She’s beautiful, blonde, and married and she roles around on a bed with a sheet and she is labeled classy and racy.
    I guess If you sing a Tina Turner Song you shouldn't try to look sexy... Just Haters!

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    eny
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    Sorry rae just quoting what my 16 yr old said. I didn't quote what my sons said as this place is PG...
    Tina Turner did that song for 40 years and never once flashed her crotch to get attention.Short shirt yeah , not no skirt.

  8. #8
    LG.
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    super recap Eny - my favorite (and hits close to home) is this one:
    Debbie makes the stunning announcement that Harlemm has come in under false pretences. Was he arrested? A porn star? A cross dresser? Nope – much worse. He’s 36 !!!! In today’s youth driven market, the previous three would have been preferable. Damn, and he was so good.
    Help fight cystic fibrosis or just learn more about it at the cystic fibrosis foundation website, www.cff.org and help give my little guy a better future.

  9. #9
    katmando
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    Very good critique and review Enygma, very good indeed.

    However, could we please get off the "kick" Shannon bit for one reason or another. Let's judge her on her talent or lack thereof and drop all the jealous, small-minded comments. She is, without question, the most exciting girl in this competition. She's gorgeous in every aspect of feminine beauty, which by itself breeds contempt from those who can't measure up.

    She is extremely sexy, a fabulous dancer who can sing, and did I mention she's sexy? Do any of you calling her a Ho, skank (is that a word?), slut, etc., have a clue what "sells" in today's marketplace? It's SEX and sex appeal, and as Little Richard's song was entitled, "She's Got It". So get over it and move on to something truly constructive. Besides, why shouldn't she use the tools what got her here? Duh. That's what ever competitor does.

    I also seriously doubt Shannon has control over camera angles and therefore the comment regarding her black thong was very petty and below the belt to say the least. Personally, I wonder why she chose black? I would have preferred a more nude looking color. Now that would have given people something to really talk about (smile). But, when you get right down to it, what difference did showing her thong covered crotch make except to enhance the performance. I mean, ever seen a girl in a bikini?

    My question to Shannon is, "why do you care" what people like this think? Going on national TV and trying to explain her moral values was a tactical mistake. It's the only thing she's done so far that shows inexperience and lack of professionalism. I mean, if ya want to win this competition, let people think what they want about you (as in fantasize). And, just because you say it ain't so doesn't make it true in the minds of others. Crap is said about entertainers and celebrities all the time, so grow some thicker skin girl and keep the excitement going.


    PS - Enjoyed your remarks as well Cheezcake.

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    Great wrap-up e! I don't know how you do it. I can barely remember who did what when.

    One little note on sexy/slutty. People comment on how beautful Moy and Serena are. Even Jamiesen gets props for being a cutey girl next door type. But people aren't saying they're slutty. Maybe Shannen's uncomfortable with being sexy, so she pushes it a bit too far.

    There's nothing wrong with a performer pushing the slutty envelope. But to do so and then whine about being called a slut is just silly. Get a tougher hide if ya wanna be in the business, Shannen.

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