Dog the Bounty Hunter: 11/2 Recap - "I'm Gonna Git You Sucka"

[Shazzer]

Diamond hard pecs and chiseled abs for the ladies. Bone smashing and bleeped out swearing for the dudes. It’s a perfect mix.

Dog is a bad ass. There’s no other human on this planet that can pull off a blonde mullet, 5 o’clock shadow and blue cammy jammies. Ok, maybe Randy “The Macho Man” Savage but he’s old and icky, so for that he gets major props.

Damn honey, slow down. You live in freakin Hawaii for crying out loud.

Beth is on the phone handling business, fluffing her 1986 bleached hair teased so high she has to duck under the ceiling fan.

but for now I’m contempt to just nodding my head, mentally making a note to bring my Pidgin dictionary home from work.

Apparently Leland isn’t all the way through his training as a bounty hunter as he has yet to earn the coveted Chapman mullet. In time my son…in time.

What an idiot. High fives all around, and it’s time to get nasty.

This make Dog angry. Dog no like people disrespecting family name. Dog go break arms.

It’s Hammer time.

Oh, that can of silly string. It’s mace. Not just your run of the mill mace, but the kind that can peel skin off an elephant in 2.3 seconds flat. Imagine your kid brother’s super-soaker condensed into the size of Binaca spray. Yep, that kind of mace.

Not that the orgy of cameras already there won’t catch it all, but I digress.

Cuffed and stuffed, ragged and weary, pretty boy Floyd is courteously buckled in the mini-van.

Dog is pissed and is about a second away from boxing Floyd’s eyebrows off his face.

Potato/ potahto…we knew what he meant.

I have this sneaking suspicion that while in jail, Dog was never anyone’s prison beyotch but I’ve been known to be wrong before.

P.S. In case you’re wondering, the Hawaiian state fish is the humuhumunukunukuapua`a. You’ll be tested on it next week.

How do you style your mullet? Email me at: speedbump@fansofrealitytv.com

Fantastic first recap, Speedtacular!! I love the blatant honesty of, "what an idiot," and "this pisses me off." Your commentary right inside the show recap made me merry. Mucho merry. Or merry...mucho. Whatever. I laughed.

Anyhow, fantastic recap, Speed!! I laughed, I cried, I nearly got a mullet. Or began fantasizing about them. Again. Woo hoo!!

[spegs]

What a debut, Speedy! Of course, I expected no less!! You crazy little genius, you!

[SnowflakeGirl]

Bravo, Speedy, an excellent debut!

I was laughing so much the whole way through; if I tried to quote my favorite lines, I'd simply be re-posting your recap again in its entirety.

Suffice it to say, I am very impressed with the job you did and look forward to more of your work in the future.

BTW, we've got a bunch of friends who live in Hawaii, and according to them "Da Kine" is a Hawaiian catchall term--it just sort of means anything you need it to at the moment. In usage it's most similar to the word "thing," in that it's a way to refer to something in a non-specific way. So like, you could ask your wife to hand you your keys from the table by asking, "Hey, you hand me da kine?" Or if you are surfing and your friend hits a crazy wave you can say, "Oh Bra, dat wave was da kine!"

[ness]

LOVED it, Speed!

Keep 'em coming!

[speedbump]

BTW, we've got a bunch of friends who live in Hawaii, and according to them "Da Kine" is a Hawaiian catchall term--it just sort of means anything you need it to at the moment. In usage it's most similar to the word "thing," in that it's a way to refer to something in a non-specific way. So like, you could ask your wife to hand you your keys from the table by asking, "Hey, you hand me da kine?" Or if you are surfing and your friend hits a crazy wave you can say, "Oh Bra, dat wave was da kine!"

Ahhhh...your explanation is much better. I googled and ended up more confused than I was before. Thanks!

[dagwood]

Once again it’s time for an intimate moment with Dog. He’s not happy that another Chapman is wanted by the law. This make Dog angry. Dog no like people disrespecting family name. Dog go break arms.

Oh, that can of silly string. It’s mace. Not just your run of the mill mace, but the kind that can peel skin off an elephant in 2.3 seconds flat. Imagine your kid brother’s super-soaker condensed into the size of Binaca spray. Yep, that kind of mace.

Great first recap, Speedbump!

[John]

Excellent job, Speedy! Daddy Dog would be proud. And then break your arms for calling him that

[hepcat]

I'm late to the party, but wanted to congratulate you on an awesome debut, Speedy! Hilarious!

[Jewelsy]

What a debut, Speedy. Great job.

[EXlurker]

Just another way to spice up one of my favorite shows. Great recap, speed!