Welcome to the results show recap! If you caught the show Thursday, the five remaining couples all danced their respective booties off to a myriad of dances: the Paso Doble, Tango, Rumba, Quickstep, Jive, and the Viennese Waltz. Plenty of variety for everyone’s viewing enjoyment. But let’s get down to the important stuff, shall we?
Let’s Get It Started
We open the show with the ever-irritating Tom and Samantha and some short clips of the previous night’s performances. Drew finally gets his perfect score, but Stacy steals his thunder by matching his 30. Lisa and her lips have lost their fear of the traditional ballroom dances. George puts on his usual show, but the judges remain unimpressed. And Jerry is again perplexed by the judge’s lack of enthusiasm for his performance.
Lisa and Louie get the nod from the judges for the encore performance of the night, once again doing the Quickstep to “9 to 5," one of the worst song choices yet this season. The Quickstep is pretty fun to watch on fast forward, by the way. Except for a small stumble on the stairs at the end of the dance, the pair does a fine job, earning a standing ovation from the audience.
The Bottom of the Barrel
Cut to Samantha backstage, interviewing the two couples in last place - George and Edyta, and Jerry and Anna. Asked if he will be able to learn two more dances in four days, George replies “It’s going to be very hard, I hear sirens in the background already.” He assures us that he’s going to give it his best, but they may have to take him back to the home. Poor ol’ George. At least he’s trying. Samantha, after giving him a back-handed compliment, asks Jerry if he has what it takes to go all the way. Jerry states that “We’re in position. This is exactly how I planned it.” Somehow I doubt that, but whatever.
Some chick named Natasha something-or-other sings her hit “Unwritten.” I’ve never heard of her, but apparently she’s big in the UK. I was rather unimpressed and made good use of my fast-forward button.
More backstage antics
We’re backstage once again with Samantha, this time interviewing the top two couples - Stacy and Tony, and Drew and Cheryl. Stacy says that she’s happy for Drew’s perfect score, and Drew replies that he’s a little jealous that he didn’t think to use the judges as props. Not one to miss out on some screentime, George steps into view and offers Stacy a rather large diamond ring. Looking a little embarrassed, Stacy laughs it off and George pockets the ring.
There’s No Crying in Ballroom Dancing!
Next, we’re treated to montage of the stars moaning, groaning and generally bitching about how difficult it’s been as they practice. “If it feels good to you, you’re not doing it right. It has to be painful”, says Jerry. Stacy shows some pretty nasty bumps and blisters on her feet, as does Drew. But despite all of the griping, the stars agree that the strenuous workouts have done wonders for their figures. George insists that his jackets are now too small because “his chest is developing”, as the audience snickers. Lisa wonders “Whose body is this? It’s not my body!” Perhaps her plastic surgeon could answer that question.
Before going to commercial, the first two couples to make it to next week are revealed. The first pair to continue will be - *drumroll* Jerry and Anna! Jerry breathes a sigh of relief, while George is shown nervously laughing. Drew and Cheryl also get a pass to the next show, no big surprise there.
Since this is a results show, we usually get lots of filler. This time around some of Max’s dance students get center stage, dancing to “Mambo Number 5.” They do an excellent job, and the music actually suits the dance for a change. However, I really wish whoever is in charge of the music would just suck it up and pay the royalties so we could hear the original versions of the music. These cheesy house-band versions are just distracting.
Oh, wait - they must have heard me! Out comes Bill Medley and his daughter, singing “I Had the Time of My Life” from Dirty Dancing. The pros do a little recreation of everyone’s favorite scene from the movie...easily the best segment of the night.
Next up - the pro dancers do a little bitching of their own, about how tough it is to train the newbies. We get a few clips of earlier boots Master P and crazy-acting Tatum, which I really could have done without. Anna comes up with my favorite quote of the night, as she chides Jerry - “What do you expect from your coaches in football, what, they like, feed you cookies every day?” Anna tells us that George is like a little child, which surprises noone.
The end is near for one couple. The remaining three pairs stand in suspense, waiting for their names to be called. First to be saved are Stacy and Tony, leaving the last two couples to sweat it out. After what must have been a 30 second pause, it’s announced that George and Edyta are voted out. Ever the entertainer, he quips that he’s been “saved from a near death experience,” and a funny, yet touching montage of George and Edyta is shown. I’ll miss the old guy. He wasn’t the best dancer in the world, but he was fun to watch. I’m sure his knees will thank him, though.
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