Good evening everyone…. It’s that time, time for the show we have been waiting all week for,
Survivor, er Dancing with the Stars. This week is extra exciting because we get a special twofer: two dance numbers, two costumes, and a show that is too long for its own good. I know I am stretching it here, but they don’t give me much to work with. We are at the halfway stage and there is no turning back, we have quite the battle ahead of us. Each pair will be dancing the samba and as a group they will be doing a salsa. Now personally I am looking forward to the salsa, I can’t wait to see what celebrity breaks down in tears from all the onion chopping.
Samba: Should look like you are being transported to Brazil, to the Rio Carnival. It should have a fun rhythm and show fantastic hips.
Salsa: Hot and spicy Latin American dancing.
Shake your booty
Stacy thinks that in order to compete with Drew she needs to get more into her characters. Tony takes Stacy to a local Samba bar to get her ready. At the bar she learns that she can shake her hips and butt, she actually shakes her butt so much that “it tickles.” Tonight they are dancing to quite possibly the slowest version of Beyonce’s Bootylicious that I have ever heard. They nail their routine and even I am impressed.
Len: Never disappoint, saucy, sexy, superb
Bruno: Weapon of mass seduction, did all the steps and made it look easy, you gave a lesson in sex appeal.
Carrie: Best performance, graceful, you are getting better than the pro dancers
Swing that Monkey
In training for the samba Edyta feels that George needs to learn different movements and thinks the best place for him to do this is at the zoo. You heard me right, the zoo. They study the animals and George seems to feel the closest to the monkeys. As the music starts, George tricks us into thinking he is the leader of the band. But no, he is here to dance and that is what he and Edyta do, in a kind of stiff uncomfortable way.
Len: Dancing for joy and that’s what you bring to this show
Bruno: You are a crafty shifter, like a fruit cocktail, you throw everything into it.
Carrie: Fantastic performer, entertaining to watch, improved your footwork or had some footwork
Long lost family?
In order to prepare for two dance numbers Lisa needs to build her endurance up for the show. Lisa and Louis train by taking long jogs on the beach and spending ZERO days at the spa. That is just horrifying, Louis is such a hard ass sometimes. Lisa’s husband Harry decides to stop by for encouragement. As he is in the studio I can’t help but notice the resemblance between Lisa, Harry and Louis. If I didn’t know better I would have guessed that Louis is Lisa and Harry’s long lost child. Now that information would make this show exciting. Their routine is good, nothing too memorable.
Len: It was a proper Samba, I know it and Louis you know it.
Bruno: Gorgeous, luscious, and wonderful. You did all the samba repertoire.
Carrie: Performance came up a notch. Where was the samba? You are still performing well.
Barely Stayin’ Alive
Tia has decided she needs to change her image, stop being the mom of the group and go to being sexy. Her partner feels that in order for her to do that she should practice dancing with a broom because nothing says sexy like a broom. As the dance gets started Tia is on the floor in a long flowing skirt dancing to Enough is Enough while Maksim stalks her from the shadows. As the song starts to get exciting, Maksim runs on stage and rips her skirt off. Now most places this would get you a little trip to jail but not Dancing with the Stars, it gets you lots of applause and mediocre praise from the judges.
Len: Wanted to be taken to Brazil, more like Baltimore. Center was good the rest I did not like.
Bruno: It was a Zigfield folly. Middle was wonderful, samba was very good, such wonderful allure.
Carrie: Agree with Len the middle was great.
Mr. MVD (Most Valuable Dancer)
Jerry has finally nailed the ballroom portion and they are now going to confuse the poor guy and change the whole focus to Latin dancing. Jerry is not a very relaxed guy and needs some lessons on loosening up. Anna decides to make him try hula hooping, which he is not good at. I feel sorry for him because I too could never master the art of the hula-hoop. She then brings in a secret weapon, his daughter. She gets his hips shaking and his body moving. Their dance is good and Jerry’s footwork is quite impressive.
Len: Much better, did not expect it to be that good, it was really, really good.
Bruno: Mr. Smooth you have nothing to worry about, you cracked the Latin world tonight.
Carrie: The crowd loves you and you're such a joy to watch. You are still a little self-conscious but it was a good performance. You have come far.
War of the Worlds
Drew and Cheryl agree that since they have been working so hard they need some time off. Drew has a family get together and invites Cheryl over for the party. As the family is sitting around I can’t help but look for Nick, is that him lurking in the corner? Cheryl and Drew do a fast number to Dirty and in all the excitement Cheryl rips Drew’s sleeves right off his outfit. With all the clothes coming off so far I am getting a little concerned what is going to happen during the group number. I sure hope the censors are ready.
Len: You’ve got flair and exuberance. You come out and sell it 100%.
Bruno: Spot on target, as reliable as Tom Cruise box office, you never fail to deliver. You're great.
Carrie: Great job. Drew & Cheryl are an explosion of power and passion. Great performance.
The Rhythm probably won’t get you
We have one last dance to make it through tonight. Personally this is going to make me decide who to vote for. The thing is I don't vote so I guess it really doesn't matter.
The groups are all together to train for the Samba. Tempers start to flair between the professional dancers, I keep waiting for one of them to declare a mad, angry dance off but alas it never happens.
The group salsa is a little disappointing, it is over before I even have a chance to run from my bedroom to the living room. My house is tiny, this would take me all of 5 seconds. Each pair does a little solo number and then all do a few steps together. The judges love it and the show can finally end.
Stacy & Tony 30
Drew & Cheryl 27
Lisa & Louis 25
George & Edyta 24
Jerry & Anna 23
Tia & Maksim 22
Tune in tomorrow night for Barry Manilow, the results and lots of useless filler at 8pm.
I’m off to enter my local news stations contest to win free tickets to the Dancing with the Stars season finale.
Email me at Yardgnome77fansofrealitytv.com