+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: 6/29/05 Recap - Went The Distance, Now He's Out On The Street

  1. #1
    Too cold to run away! Burntcrow's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Texuhs
    Posts
    1,257

    6/29/05 Recap - Went The Distance, Now He's Out On The Street

    Last week, our beloved chinchilla was left heartbroken. With a week to go before the finals, your chosen few remain. The thirteen lined ground squirrel has struggled (since she likes to breed during performances), but her spirit has carried through. The grass mouse’s energy has wowed the crowd, while the judges have been left cold. The gerbil has been our master entertainer, but has he peaked too soon? Three stars remain, but only two can place in the finals. This….is Dancing With Rodentia. *cue cheesy Latin music* (for best effect, please re-read the paragraph in your best television announcer voice)

    Welcome to the semi-finals of Dancing With The Stars! Our hosts, Tom Bergeron, and Lisa Canning greet us as usual and let us know that tonight, each couple will perform two dances, the Fox-trot and the Paso Doble. Let’s find out a little bit more about the dances and then get on with the show!

    Foxtrot: The most playful and also the most difficult of all ballroom dances, due to constant tempo changes.

    Paso Doble: The dance of the bullfighter, which has a fiery flamenco flavor. This is the opportunity for the men to show off. Judges will be looking for stomping feet, and passionate facial expressions.

    Fernando, The Vegetarian Matador
    Up first are John O’Hurley and Charlotte Jorgensen dancing the Fox-trot to “Let There Be Love.” John tells us that Charlotte was number one in the world in this dance, and he does not want to disappoint her.
    He is wearing a black tuxedo, while Charlotte has a nice blue dress on. Well, it’s not really blue, blue, it’s more like diaper commercial liquid blue. They dance well, but honestly, the Fox-trot is a boar in my opinion. A big stinking hog of a snoozefest.

    Len:It was unbelievable. A basic start..that was true Fox-trot. You had elegance, you glided across the floor. It was truly two people dancing at once. Great.
    Score - 9
    Carrie Ann:Last week you had a rough week, but this week, you brought it all back. I think your turns, your footwork, everything was amazing. This was my favorite to watch so far.
    Score - 9
    Bruno: Well John, ballroom becomes you. That was sophisticated elegance. Your footwork was superb and you told a story. There was a lot of relationship between the two of you and you sold it beautifully.
    Score - 9

    Total Score: 27/30

    I‘m So Hot, It Drowns Out My Whining
    Kelly and Alec are up next, and this week, we get a little glimpse into the complicated world of soap star turned mediocre reality dance star. During rehearsal, Kelly has to leave frequently to film for General Hospital, which leaves her with just five hours to learn the Fox-trot. Will she pull it off? The suspense is killing me...right into a coffin of boredom. Dance already!

    Kelly and Alec will be dancing their Fox-trot to "Don't Know Why." She looks stunning, as usual, in a light purple outfit, while Alec is wearing standard attire with a matching purple tie. I decided to bleach my toe hair during the performance, so let's just go the judges.

    Bruno: What a competitor you have proven to be, because I never would have thought from week one that you’d be here now performing a fox trot, which is the most difficult dance to master. Sometimes, technically, there was a few mishaps on the footwork, but it is very very difficult and you’ve done well.
    Score - 7
    Len:I told you last week, certain dances suit certain people, and you are a Latin dancer really. When it comes to elegance and gliding across the floor its not quite as good, but it was a terrific effort. Well done,
    Score - 7
    Carrie Ann:I disagree. I think you have come a long way from that first waltz. That first time we saw you were so stiff and you were holding your carriage, but now, you are enjoying the dance and the posture is coming naturally. You’ve really come far.
    Score - 8

    Total Score: 22/30

    Harpy Ashly does the Faux-trot
    Up next, are Joey and Ashy dancing the Fox-trot to “Big Spender.” This week we see a completely different Ashly. She is mean, she is fierce, and she isn’t afraid to put the smack down on Joey. Joey says if he wants to make it to the finals, he should just keep his mouth shut. I agree. Ashly is wearing a delicious dress that looks like strawberry swirl ice cream. Yum. They do an excellent job, and really hold my attention, but unfortunately the Fates disagree.

    Clotho: You’ve been consistently good throughout this. Every week you’ve given us a nice, solid, good performance. We’ve been waiting for you to break out, and to me, I think tonight, you broke out.
    Score - 8
    Lachesis:This was guys and dolls. This wasn’t a fox-trot. Fox-trot is Fred Astaire, grace, elegance. You have to do a fox-trot. Fox-trot has some rules, and you broke the rules a little bit. You went too far.
    Ashly shakes her head in disagreement and says that they did an open foxtrot. There is American style, and international. Bruno says it was too open, United Nations open.
    Score - 6
    Atropos: The fox-trot is a suave, sophisticated dance. I thought it was too much open. As an entertaining number it was great, but there isn’t enough fox-trot.
    Score - 6

    Total Score: 20/30

    One Gargantuan Monkey Fist…Of Praise
    John and Charlotte are up first again, but this time to dance the Paso Doble. Charlotte is wearing a beautiful red dress, while John is wearing black pants up to his chest and a red shirt. If belly buttons could breathe, his would need CPR right after the performance. During their dance, Charlotte removes a part of her dress, and John uses it to dip her. Flashy!

    Bruno: Fantastico Fernando, que bien que esta esta noche! I must say something, you are the fantastic teacher because your performance and your routine tells a story. I love being told a story, there is always a relation between the two of you that works wonder Well Done.
    Score - 9
    Len: In the Paso Doble, we are looking for technique, routine and performance. Your technique was pretty good, Charlotte you performed a beautiful routine and as always you performance was great. You really get into the character.
    Score - 9
    Carrie Ann: There’s always such sophistication and dynamics to your routine, it’s always so engaging to watch, Once again, I think you guys are the couple to beat.
    Score - 9

    Total Score: 27/30
    Cumulative Score: 54

    Bimboleeeeyo….Bimboleya!
    It is time for team skin to dance the Paso Doble, and they will be performing to “Bamboleo.” Kelly looks great in a two piece black outfit, and a red rose in her hair. Alec is in all black, but he must have forgotten his shirt in the practice room. I guess he’s been taking wardrobe tips from Kelly. The performance is fast paced, and full of moves that require flexibility like an impressive backward slide under Kelly’s legs by Alec. I am glad he is a professional, because had that been me, the public would have witnessed the worst crotch disaster on television since Richard Hatch decided to parade around naked on Survivor.

    Len: Well, the Paso Doble is the one Latin dance where the male should dominate, and you did Alec, but I was worried Kelly, that you weren’t going to be able to keep up with him. The only criticism is that sometimes you should lift your rib cage and stretch, but great performance.
    Score - 8
    Carrie Ann: You’ve come so far, your lines are great now. Everything I look at, I mean, sometimes you are your still bent in your legs, but you’ve come so far. I am impressed.
    Score - 9
    Bruno: Great competitor, you’re getting better all the time, suxy, sexy, sultry..my god what did I say! Can I say that? Anyways, you have used your assets properly. (Why would you not be able to say suxy on television? It was a pretty tame PG-13 mistake Bruno, unless you were talking about the adult film, Sucksy. Not that I watch those types of films, it just so happened that I was browsing the Disney section at Blockbuster for Flubber, and Sucksy Vixens 18 was right next to it. You know, Flubber? That fat green thing? Yeah, well…)
    Score - “A suxy 8”

    Total Score: 25
    Cumulative Score: 47

    I Pity The Fool Who Dances The Paso Doble To Rocky
    Joey and Ashly are back with the last dance of the semi-finals. Ashly is wearing a purple dress with matching flower in hair, while Joey is wearing all black, except for some gold matador-like markings on his shirt. They will be dancing their Paso Doble to “Eye of The Tiger.” Can I just step in for a second here and say how wrong this is? It’s like my 300 pound Aunt Shirley drinking a diet Shasta, and passing on the turkey gravy. Aunt Shirley you know I love you, but you know you want some Kool-Aid and gravy too. Anyways, Joey does well! He cut the cheesy smile, the routine was well put together, and their crisp and clean movements made for an enjoyable watch.

    Carrie Ann: I saw the eye of the Liger in you. I saw your determination. I could tell you wanted to win this thing, and this was your best performance ever. Every line was finished completely, it was your best carriage ever. Good Job.
    Score - 9
    Bruno: Well, this was a convincing performance . You were all there, you looked like a Spanish matador. You sold it correctly and you pitched it right all the way through.
    Score - 8
    Len: It had passion, aggression, and it had control. So many basic steps, well done!
    Score - 8

    Total Score: 25
    Cumulative Score: 45

    The Judges Get Their Way
    It is that time again! The couple with the lowest combined score from the judges and the public must leave the competition……..forever. No worries fans, this is like Paradise Hotel forever. You know, the kind where they are back next week. Ok, let’s get to the getting…..

    John and Charlotte, get out…..of the way so that Tom can announce the loser. The couple with the lowest score, and therefore leaving tonight………..Joey and Ashly! Which means that Kelly/Alec and John/Charlotte are the last two couples standing, and will be battling it out in the finale!

    Joey looks pretty sad as he dances his last dance, or is that embarrassment for being eliminated on a dancing show which was sadly his last chance to bring back his teenage career? Don’t be sad Joey, soon you will be in your backyard laying on a New Kids On The Block beach towel by your pool, and some hot chick with large breasts will bring you all the mountain dew in Joey McIntyre collector cups you desire.

    I'm watching you all with the eyyyyyyyyyyyyye....of the recapper.
    burntcroww@aol.com
    Last edited by Burntcrow; 07-09-2005 at 10:20 PM.

  2. #2
    Leave No Trace ADKLove's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Seems I'm Lost.
    Age
    47
    Posts
    2,071
    Quote Originally Posted by Burntcrow
    Harpy Ashly does the Faux-trot

    If belly buttons could breathe, his would need CPR right after the performance.

    I am glad he is a professional, because had that been me, the public would have witnessed the worst crotch disaster on television since Richard Hatch decided to parade around naked on Survivor.

    Why would you not be able to say suxy on television? It was a pretty tame PG-13 mistake Bruno, unless you were talking about the adult film, Sucksy.

    I Pity The Fool Who Dances The Paso Doble To Rocky

    Can I just step in for a second here and say how wrong this is? It’s like my 300 pound Aunt Shirley drinking a diet Shasta, and passing on the turkey gravy.

    I'm watching you all with the eyyyyyyyyyyyyye....of the recapper.
    burntcroww@aol.com

    The "Faux-Trot" - That's classic. Just a few of my favorites - what a great (guilty pleasure) show, and your recap certainly does it justice.
    Love many, trust a few, and always paddle your own canoe

  3. #3
    Just Forting Around roseskid's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Anticipating roses and broken hearts
    Posts
    7,271
    Quote Originally Posted by Burntcrow
    Will she pull it off? The suspense is killing me...right into a coffin of boredom. Dance already!

    If belly buttons could breathe, his would need CPR right after the performance.

    I guess he’s been taking wardrobe tips from Kelly.

    I am glad he is a professional, because had that been me, the public would have witnessed the worst crotch disaster on television since Richard Hatch decided to parade around naked on Survivor.

    No worries fans, this is like Paradise Hotel forever. You know, the kind where they are back next week.

    Don’t be sad Joey, soon you will be in your backyard laying on a New Kids On The Block beach towel by your pool, and some hot chick with large breasts will bring you all the mountain dew in Joey McIntyre collector cups you desire.
    Beautiful job, Burnt! Great beginning and even better ending!
    Love The Bachelor? Catch the recap for this season's sacrificial lamb lucky guy here in Episode 1, Episode 2, Episode 3, Episode 4, Episode 5, Episode 6 and Episode 7.

  4. #4
    Courtesy and Goodwill Mantenna's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Age
    28
    Posts
    8,504
    Awesome job, Burnt! You certainly know how to grab one's interest . . . all those rodents in the first paragraph! You rock, man.

    Quote Originally Posted by Burntcrow
    They dance well, but honestly, the Fox-trot is a boar in my opinion. A big stinking hog of a snoozefest.

    I‘m So Hot, It Drowns Out My Whining

    I decided to bleach my toe hair during the performance, so let's just go the judges.

    Harpy Ashly does the Faux-trot

    Charlotte is wearing a beautiful red dress, while John is wearing black pants up to his chest and a red shirt. If belly buttons could breathe, his would need CPR right after the performance.

    Bimboleeeeyo….Bimboleya!

    I am glad he is a professional, because had that been me, the public would have witnessed the worst crotch disaster on television since Richard Hatch decided to parade around naked on Survivor.

    It was a pretty tame PG-13 mistake Bruno, unless you were talking about the adult film, Sucksy. Not that I watch those types of films, it just so happened that I was browsing the Disney section at Blockbuster for Flubber, and Sucksy Vixens 18 was right next to it. You know, Flubber? That fat green thing? Yeah, well…

  5. #5
    LG.
    LG. is offline
    FORT Writer LG.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    frozen tundra
    Posts
    14,060
    great recap, BC. I loved this visual too
    The performance is fast paced, and full of moves that require flexibility like an impressive backward slide under Kelly’s legs by Alec. I am glad he is a professional, because had that been me, the public would have witnessed the worst crotch disaster on television since Richard Hatch decided to parade around naked on Survivor.
    oh, and this thirteen lined ground squirrell agrees Yes, Goldie Gopher is really a thirteen lined ground squirrel . . . and dances divinely
    Help fight cystic fibrosis or just learn more about it at the cystic fibrosis foundation website, www.cff.org and help give my little guy a better future.

  6. #6
    What do you DO all day? totoro's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Age
    41
    Posts
    2,857
    Quote Originally Posted by Burntcrow
    This….is Dancing With Rodentia.

    Well, it’s not really blue, blue, it’s more like diaper commercial liquid blue.

    I decided to bleach my toe hair during the performance, so let's just go the judges.

    Bimboleeeeyo….Bimboleya!

    Not that I watch those types of films, it just so happened that I was browsing the Disney section at Blockbuster for Flubber, and Sucksy Vixens 18 was right next to it.

    It’s like my 300 pound Aunt Shirley drinking a diet Shasta, and passing on the turkey gravy. Aunt Shirley you know I love you, but you know you want some Kool-Aid and gravy too.

    Don’t be sad Joey, soon you will be in your backyard laying on a New Kids On The Block beach towel by your pool, and some hot chick with large breasts will bring you all the mountain dew in Joey McIntyre collector cups you desire.

    I'm watching you all with the eyyyyyyyyyyyyye....of the recapper.

    Thanks for the laughs, burnt!!
    I'll do graffiti if you sing to me in French

  7. #7
    FORT Fogey famita's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Posts
    3,766
    BC, I was really worried because I missed the actual show. Somehow, I think I came out on top because all I had to do was read your generous recap. You score a 10 out of 10 for this one! No, I have to change me mind-it was a 15 out of 10. Thank you!!!

  8. #8
    Yoffy lifts a finger... fluff's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    43,485
    Quote Originally Posted by Burntcrow

    He is wearing a black tuxedo, while Charlotte has a nice blue dress on. Well, it’s not really blue, blue, it’s more like diaper commercial liquid blue.


    I‘m So Hot, It Drowns Out My Whining

    The suspense is killing me...right into a coffin of boredom. Dance already!


    I am glad he is a professional, because had that been me, the public would have witnessed the worst crotch disaster on television since Richard Hatch decided to parade around naked on Survivor.

    Can I just step in for a second here and say how wrong this is? It’s like my 300 pound Aunt Shirley drinking a diet Shasta, and passing on the turkey gravy.

    The couple with the lowest combined score from the judges and the public must leave the competition……..forever. No worries fans, this is like Paradise Hotel forever. You know, the kind where they are back next week.
    Great job, Burnt

+ Reply to Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.