DWTS9 – 10/12 Recap: Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway
Last week we lost not one, but two of the people we are kind enough to continue to call stars, so you might be thinking that our performance show this week would feel a little thin. A little light. Or, you might be a regular viewer of DWTS and thus know that even if there were only one couple left to dance, the show would go on as full of spectacle and sparkle as ever, because for your viewing pleasure, they’re introducing 4 new surprise dances for our pros and stars to tackle: the Charleston, the two-step (which may be called the Texas Two-Step, unless you’re from Louisiana like me), the bolero, and the lambada. And so we’ll be getting lengthy tales of fear and trembling from everyone, because no one knows anything about these dances, and yet they must dance! Also, you might want to prepare yourselves for many jokes about things being bigger, things being forbidden, and things being made in Carolina.
Because of our spiffy new dances, and none of us including the judges – especially the judges – knowing much about them, Carrie Ann has sworn a blood oath to shut it about lifts for this week and this week only. So lifts are allowed – nay encouraged!
Inaugurating our adventure this week are Chuck and Anna Trebunskaya with the two-step; Chuck thinks he may have a bit of a jump on this one because: he used to work at a country bar, his mother loves to two-step, and plus he’ll get to wear jeans for the dance instead of ruffles and fringe. He and Anna work on lifts that’ll let Chuck be his strong man self, but it looks shaky from where I’m sitting. Will their lift end up more like a piledriver?
Nah. Their dance is really cute as always; Chuck tries to lasso Anna, but she refuses and shows him that “Boot Scooting Boogie” is the real way to win her heart. I don’t know from two-step, but I enjoyed it thoroughly. Len thinks the lifts were very good and appreciates Chuck’s novelty on the show, but says that he must eventually learn to dance. Bruno thinks he brings carnage and mayhem to everything, but this still looked like a two-step. CA thinks this the two-step was really suited to him. Scores: 6 from CA, 5 from Len, and 6 from Bruno for 17.
The Cat’s Pajamas
Melissa’s been a bit of a non-event so far this season, so this week she’s working on being not boring. And getting better scores. She and Mark have the Charleston, and they’re rehearsing it to death so Melissa can get a better feel for the dance instead of just the moves. Also they take a field trip to a Roaring Twenties Speakeasy to get into the mood. The film changes to black and white for a sec, and out on stage Melissa and Mark are dressed very period – the look straight out of a Fitzgerald novel – which I always appreciate. In this day and age, you can’t do the Charleston without looking a little wacky, so their routine embraces the wackiness. I think it also helps that Melissa’s kind of loose limbs are an asset and not a hindrance to doing this dance well. Whoa, it’s Joey Lawrence in the audience.
Bruno rrrrrrraves about the 1920s flavor Melissa brought. Carrie Ann thinks they can take the show on the road. Breakthrough! Len says the Charleston is about the 3 Es: enegry, excitement and entertainment. They hit 3 out of 3. Backstage, Melissa says she got to show her personality off and so she felt more comfortable. Scores: 9-9-10, for a total of 28.
Water, Water, Everywhere
Natalie and Alec have been on a bit of a roll these past few weeks, but Natalie sometimes tenses up when she’s learning new dances. They’re also in a bit of a battle over whether to make the dance more complicated and go for higher scores, or to play it safe. Will the stress of learning the bolero tear these two apart?
No. I’m really into asking silly questions that I immediately answer this week. So, they took Natalie’s costume from last week and took away all the fabric, and now they dance bolero. I don’t know how it’s supposed to look, but if it’s supposed to look like a watered down rumba, they got it. And Natalie does really well with water anyway, so yeah. Carrie Ann likes the degree of difficulty they went for, but saw them struggling to accomplish it. Len thought the dance beautiful and lyrical, but would’ve liked more romance in the choreography. Bruno thinks Natalie has found her “basic instinct,” but cautions her to watch her arms swinging wide. I think. He swings his arms around like snakes, so really I’m assuming. Scores! Triple 8s for 24. Not too shabby.
I can’t think of anything I’d rather do less than watch Aaron and Karina doing the lambada. I feel this can only be in consequence of that fountain pen I stole one time in 4th grade and so, America, I apologize to you.
Last week Aaron turned weepy because the judges were big meanies to him, and it turns out afterwards Michael Irvin gave him a pep talk backstage. How sweet. Then Aaron and Karina practice lambada and thereby remove all sweetness from the Earth. And also some gymnastics champ shows up to help Aaron work on his aerial moves.
So, their dance. All I will say is this particular lambada maybe should be forbidden, not because it’s sexy, but because it’s stupid. This dance also is very watery, and they look foolish. Len, yes Len, demanded more raunch and declares himself unsatisfied. Bruno thinks he was not in character (his fantasy lambada character being Gilles Marini, apparently), and he wants Aaron to grow up as he performs. CA advises him to chill out and not try so hard because that’s a turn off. Backstage everybody stumbles around the thought of how not to try hard and impossibly trying the hardest ever, or something, and then Aaron earns triple 6s for 18. The audience is displeased, but Aaron will not cry.
Mark and Lacey are next with the two-step. The judges have been on them for lack of chemistry. and on Mark for lack of connection, but Mark is not exactly a good ole boy, so connection to this dance may be difficult to achieve. Yet, he’s doing his best to lighten up and enjoy the dance. His best is not that good. Luckily, his three adorable children and faceless wife come to visit rehearsal, but did they lighten his mood enough to make a rockin’ country dance?
I will not answer that stupid question, but I will say that this dance to “Nothing Better to Do” is very fun to watch; at one point Mark does a physics-defying sideways leap over Lacey and that’s the most awesome thing I’ve seen all night. He’s still not that great a dancer though.
Bruno says Mark should have a roll in the hay more often, but he noticed him stumbling over the steps during the midsection. Carrie Ann says “Yay, confidence, chemistry.” Len also acknowledges Mark actually dancing when Lacey’s doing all the spins and twirls, instead of just standing around. The positive buzz shows up in his scores: 8-7-7 for 22, Mark’s highest score yet.
Kelly and Louis are our second duo to tackle the Charleston, but dressed as Sally Bowles and her Emcee, it’s a decidedly different air from the jazz jam that Melissa and Mark offered. Kelly of course had an up week last go round with the samba, but she’s kind of a rollercoaster, so we’ll see if this Charleston can keep up the momentum. Turns out Kelly loves musicals and once landed the part of Sally Bowles, but lost out because she couldn’t dance. This, then, is her night of redemption. No pressure though!
They dance, of course, to an awful rendition of “Cabaret,” and this Charleston is much more sophisticated and subdued than Melissa and Mark’s but just as fun. Kelly looks to be having a ball too, which is nice to see. She gets a standing ovation from the audience, and ooh, there’s her mother crying again.
CA says watching Kelly is like watching a little birdie learn to fly, which sounds condescending, but that’s probably only because CA said it. Len loved it, but would’ve liked to see a little more swivel in the routine. Bruno thinks Kelly should be happy with what she’s done. And she should be happy with her scores, 8s from CA and Bruno, and 7 from Len.
Two Birds and One Stone
Now let’s bring the high crashing down with Joanna and Derek. Unless you like them, of course. But you don’t. Joanna’s been doing pretty well so far, but her goal this week is to get a 10. Derek names Mya and Aaron as their toughest competition (which, yes, means Natalie will win), and Joanna is determined to compete with them. Also, J and D both try to get you to like them by going to serve their community through dog washing.
They’re dancing the lambada in horrendously chartreuse costumes, and between Joanna stalking the judges’ table to kiss Len, and all the grinding and wining, this would’ve fit right in Dirty Dancing. Len loved it but thought it was a bit repetitious; he also says he definitely knows what he wants for the encore. That cheeky DANCMSTR. Bruno says it was like “When animals get physical,” and declares that he now has enough sexual energy stored to last him six months. Side note: Don’t worry if you don’t see me here next week; I may be in a hermetic box until around next April. Meanwhile Carrie Ann says she hopes the children are in bed (“I bet some of the adults are now,” Tom quips – he is a treasure.), and she appreciated the dance being “fueled by the crotch area” like the lambada should be. Scores: 9-8-9 for a total of 26. No 10 for you.
Donny got physical like an animal last week with Bruno, so presumably he’s been working overtime to top that gambit this week. He and Kym have the Charleston, so there’s plenty of opportunity to clown around, but the pressure is a bit too much for him to handle. Kym wants him to concentrate less on being perfect and more on just quitting the whinybabying and doing the dance. The dance? He’s a waiter; she’s a flapper. They decide to dance the Charleston, and like each of the others we’ve seen tonight, end up with a really fun and entertaining routine. Also Marie and her two tons of hair are in the audience. Bruno loved seeing Donny the Showman, and felt a little bit of Helly Dolly in it, but wanted his kicks to be sharper. Carrie Ann thinks Kym and Donny are really in sync, but she noticed him stumbling over a couple moves. Len says, “You look good, you dance good, and watching you dance does you good.” Yeah, Len has been uncharacteristically un-grumpy all night. What’s going on there?
Donny and Kym score triple 8s and end up tied with Natalie.
Next up are Michael and New Anna to do the bolero. The judges have been none too happy with Michael’s skills, and he’s been a regular in the loser zone since the competition began. It’s beginning to be a bit of a downer for him, since he’s working so hard. New Anna takes this as a cue to bring in Tony Dovolani to help coach, since Tony was at some point World Champion in bolero. Tony tries to get him to feel the romance and such that’s supposed to be part of the dance, and then they come out looking like they’ve washed up on a beach and do a dance that’s mostly them walking around seductively and striking pretty poses. But maybe that is bolero, I don’t know.
Carrie Ann says she definitely saw the romance and thinks he did a great job finally getting into character, but the dance was too much posing and not enough dancing. That’s not really Michael’s fault though. New Anna. Len agrees, but thinks Michael has done much better with this more difficult style than he ever has yet. Bruno becomes a political commentator for a moment and says Michael’s progress in dancing is a lot like the US economy’s progress in not being sucky. Yeah, that was depressing. Stick to your regular schtick next time, Bruno. So Michael and New Anna earn 5-6-5 for a total of 16. Wow, Len, seriously? Has he run out of grumpy? Is grumpy like not in stores anymore? Backstage Michael puts on a stiff upper lip and says he’ll keep working hard. Aw. Good for him.
Where the Skies Are So Blue (Oh Yes They Are!)
Louie and Chelsie are making it like two kids in a candy store, but that playful camaraderie is not always the best for dancing. Len slammed them with a 5 last time, which dampened Louie’s spirits, plus they’re saddled with the two-step, which Chelsie has never heard of before. They trek out to the Texas Ranch House of Chelsie’s former partner Ty Murray to ask his help in turning Louie into a cowboy. This training includes wearing hats, and baling hay. And sitting atop a horse. This somehow translates into their two-step to “Sweet Home Alabama,” but I can’t really tell you how. Too busy rocking out. Len cuts right into them, saying that the dance was just a series of walks, with occasional pauses for Chelsie to spin around and do something. This is two weeks in a row of poor content. Bruno says it was “dazed and confused,” and that Louie’s charm and smile isn’t enough on its own to get him by. CA says Chelsie being great can’t distract their eyes from Louie, and there was a little too much shuffling happening. Oh well, Louie. At least they didn’t tell you to grow up. Scores: 5-5-6 for 16.
Mya and Dmitry are closing the show with the lambada. Mya’s been burning up the paddles these last few week,s but where she already has Carrie Ann and Bruno nicely stoked to the perfect 10-granting temperature, old Grumpmaster L has yet to give them anything above an 8. Mya thinks this is because he wants to see simpler choreo from them, and thus she tries her most misguided best to edit Dmitry’s moves during their rehearsal. Dmitry eventually compromises with her even though he disagrees, and then they end they end rehearsals looking great together.
And then they dance for us, looking great together. Mya is a really good dancer, that’s all. Also, I think her legs can glow in the dark tonight. They are super shiny. “An erotic, exotic rollercoaster!” Bruno says. He also says some other stuff that will probably get the show an FCC fine. CA loved it, and Len says, contrary to what Mya thinks he never finds them boring and never thinks they’ll go wrong, but he has really high expectations of her, and expected a little more from this lambada. I guess he wanted his own rollercoaster ride. Mya and Dmitry score 10s from Bruno and an 8 from dear Len. That ties them with Melissa and Mark. Fancy that.
Hey, so it’s then end here and there weren’t any jokes at all about Carolina and such. Sorry. But, it’s always good to be prepared anyway. We’ve got ties for very bottom and very top, so our results might actually be a bit unpredictable this week. If you want to know what happens, be sure to come back here for your results dish, served up by that snarky MsFroggy. See you next week, if I can manage to get a WiFi signal in through hermetically sealed glass, that is!
Re: DWTS9 – 10/12 Recap: Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway
Here's my favorite part of the whole awesome recap. Thanks for the laugh. After being home with my quarantined kids for two days, I really needed the laugh.
Originally Posted by MotherSister;3726706;
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