Yee haw, Dance War fans(and those of you with nothing better to do)! Welcome to the hoedown showdown as Team Bruno and Team Carrie Ann go country. Tonight, we’re in for ten gallon hats, cowboy boots, shiny belt buckles, and painted ladies that would put Gunsmoke’s Miss Kitty to shame. Also tonight, Drew will introduce us to the next
victimlucky guy searching for love on The Bachelor and Grammy nominee Taylor Swift will perform. So, tether up your horse and sit for a spell. I guarantee a little bit country and a whole lot of cheese!
Dirty Dancing in the Corner Pocket
The two teams open the live show with a joint performance of Big and Rich’s “Loud.” Their performance features a pool table in the center of the stage. Girls dance atop it while the boys twirl their pool cues. Team Bruno is wearing black and white while Carrie Ann’s darlings are all decked out in black and red. The teams battle each other and it’s all kind of West-Side Story except not. After their big finish, Bruno and Carrie Ann make their usual grand entrance. Bruno gives an uplifting speech on how tough their week was with only five members but they plan to step it up and knock our socks off. The core of his group is country so he feels they’re in their element and can deliver. By the way, it’s Zack’s birthday. Happy Birthday to Zack! Carrie Ann hopes we like their performances because country is such a fun genre(Really?).
Regurgitation time as Drew takes us back to last week with Team Carrie Ann. We’re treated to clips of the Team Carrie Ann biting their nails and sweating out while waiting for the results. Of course, they won, so it was all for naught. In the practice gym, Carrie Ann has a mechanical bull waiting so her team can get a feel for country. She thinks Bruno’s team may have an advantage with so many people from the South. I love how they think all of us Southerners are bull riding country music lovers. Way to generalize there! Contrary to popular belief, we don’t all wear overalls and drive pickup trucks either. Since Carrie Ann is a little uptight, fun time with the bull doesn’t last long. She gets them right back to work and pushes them to focus.
For their first performance, Carrie Ann’s team does “The Devil Went Down To Georgia.” The boys walk out with suitcases, sit them down, and dramatically pull out their cowboy hats. From their holsters, they whip out their microphones. Clever. The girls join them for a heel stomping good time on the stage. The choreography isn’t bad and neither are the vocals considering most of the lyrics are spoken and not sung. Chris has another microphone glitch this week. He’s unable to get it back into the holster so has no choice but to throw it down. The number ends with the girls branding the boys’ backs with a big “CA.” See, regardless of what the song says, their souls actually belong to Carrie Ann. According to Carrie Ann, Qis set the tone and other than the microphone glitch, she feels they did a good job. Bruno is tough on Chris because he thinks he can do better. He encourages him to bring it.
The South Fails To Rise Again
Rehash time for Team Bruno. We’re reminded of last week’s Motown performances and the shocking results that sent one of their teammates home. In his fiery red practice gym, Bruno feels the weight of losing his team members. He carries the responsibility to reassess and rebuild. The team is a little down since they have nothing(such as a win) to bring with them into this week. Their choreographer and Bruno walk in with a little fun in the form of big foamy cowboy hats. Told you there’d be a whole lot of cheese. After practicing, Team Bruno is encouraged. They feel that their mood has lightened and their fun performance this week will appeal to America. Zack reminds us that 4 out of the 5 of them are from the South so that must mean they’ll rock country week. Pardon me while I once again roll my eyes at this stereotype. Phillip brags that they might be one down but they’re five strong.
Time to see if the country lovin’ Southerners can deliver. With a hit like Rascal Flatts’ “Life is a Highway,” they’re sure to wow us, right? Well, not really. The choreography is fun and energetic but the vocals are lacking. Guess when you’re working those fields down South, you don’t need to sing in the right key. Bruno is happy with their performance and hails Phillip’s improvement as an entertainer. Whatever. I’m not seeing it, Bruno, but what do I know? I’m from the South. Bruno recognizes Zack is their strongest performer but admonishes them to find more edge. Carrie Ann thinks they looked amazing and loved how they showcased their abilities. She comments on their vocals not quite being on key, like maybe their voices are strained. Overall, she thinks it was a job well done and nice to see them all featured.
Bachelor Bloke Looking for
ABC’s 12th edition of The Bachelor premieres on March 17th. Drew has the honor tonight of revealing the identity of
ABC’s latest fame whorethe new bachelor. He is none other than Matt Grant from London. He resembles actor Hugh Grant a little but seriously, with that accent, who cares what he looks like? He tells us something about how ridiculously hard the process is but reveals nothing about his season other than the 25 women are smoking’. One thing is certain. Our new bachelor is well rehearsed and has the Fleiss-speak down pat. Here’s to another bloody season of looking for some hot tubbin’love!
Next up is eighteen year old country singer Taylor Swift to perform her new hit single, “Our Song.” For some reason - more cream filling would be my best guess - Drew feels she’s qualified to offer an opinion on the young hopefuls of Team Bruno and Team Carrie Ann. She thinks they’re amazing and loves Bruno’s Rascal Flatts song choice. According to her, Carrie Ann’s team paid incredible attention to detail. Elizabeth stood out more than anyone to her. She recognizes Elizabeth from some of her shows. While in the audience, Elizabeth confided in Taylor that she wanted to become a singer. Taylor encourages the hopefuls to find something that makes them different from everyone else and stick with it. That and hard work equals success.
Daisy Dukes Are Made For Walkin’
Back in the studio, Carrie Ann cracks her whip. She feels her team is a bit too relaxed and warns them that they don’t have the time to rest on their laurels. They must work, work, work, work, work! To work on the group dynamic, Carrie Ann works with each person as an individual to strengthen their weak areas. She starts with Mariel, who she’d like to see become as good a dancer as she is a singer. For Mariel, love is in the air. She and Qis are definitely crushing on each other. Carrie Ann confronts them and points out that groups usually break up for that reason. When they get close, they exclude the others. They admit they have a soft spot for each other but plan to put the team first. The team wants to stay on top and plan to put a different twist on country week.
Putting a seductive twist on KT Tunstall’s “Big Black Horse and the Cherry Tree,” Team Carrie Ann takes the stage. For me, it was a little blah but Carrie Ann is beside herself. She wanted her team to be sophisticated and thought they nailed it. In her opinion, the ladies vocally blended like a dream. Bruno wants to see more dancing and less of fashion show. Carrie Ann interrupts him and disagrees. Ever notice she does that a lot? She tears up a little when Drew asks if she’s ready to let a member of her team go. She isn’t and wants the six to go to the end with her.
Bruno wants his kids to step it up a notch but also to have fun on stage. The four Southerners work on Tony, the lone voice from the North. Their attempt to pull the country hick out of him is as ridiculous as it sounds. To work on endurance, they play a little baseball and run laps. Bruno works with Kelsey individually. He feels she needs to work on her vocal delivery. The guys feel her sexy voice will have men everywhere picking up the phone to vote for Team Bruno. They’ll be singing “These Boots Are Made For Walking” by Nancy Sinatra and plan to come out with guns blazing.
With Old Glory in the background and the girls in Daisy Dukes, Team Bruno puts on pretty good show with a hip hop flair at the end. Drew is speechless afterwards but Bruno is not. He feels it’s their hottest number to date. Kelsey is the sexy sassy surprise of the night for him. Carrie Ann, of course, has something negative to say. She feels they took the song in a different direction with the hip hop flavor at the end and stole that idea from her. Overall though, she feels they did a fantastic job. Bruno realizes he may have to eliminate someone else tonight and cannot fathom how hard that will be.
The teams are friendly with each other as the meet once a week to practice the group routine. But on the dance floor, it’s all business. They make comments to each other and get in digs to psych each other out. Neither team wants to lose another member. Drew reveals the votes from last week and the winning team is….Team Carrie Ann. Bruno must once again send someone home. His team is crushed as Carrie Ann and Co. head backstage to celebrate. Bruno is surprised because his team delivered and sorry that America doesn’t understand. Hear that America? Time to vote for Bruno and knock Carrie Ann off that high horse she’s riding!
The show must go on so Bruno makes his first save of the night, Kelsey. Next, he chooses Phillip(why?) and Lacey. At this point, I’m pretty certain that Tony is heading back up North. Zack is not only Bruno’s strongest and best performer, but it’s his birthday. Not even Bruno is heartless enough to dump a guy on his birthday. To
drag things out even furthergive the guys one more shot, Tony and Zack will perform once more. They butchersing Garth Brooks’ “If Tomorrow Never Comes” and sure enough, Bruno chooses Zack to stay. Tony says his good-byes and receives a standing ovation at Drew’s request.
Next week, another team will lose a member and the cast of High School Musical will perform. The ever-snarky MsFroggy will be bringing you all the excitement. Don’t miss it!
Do you want to see Carrie Ann knocked off her high horse? PM me.