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Thread: 8/5/05 recap - Keeping It Really Real

  1. #1
    Too cold to run away! Burntcrow's Avatar
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    8/5/05 recap - Keeping It Really Real

    Last week on The Cut, Jessica finally stepped up to the plate, but unfortunately she wanted to design a plane that said ďhave sex with me,Ē so she was rightfully canned. Only 8 designers remain, which seven will be cut tonight? Just kidding, of course, but would anyone really care?

    Back at the loft, tempers erupt after the elimination. Rob feels that Chris sold him out in the pit, while Chris is upset because Liz tried to take credit for one of his ideas. Princess tries to mediate both situations, but fails miserably. To sum it up, it is what it is, it be what it be, you just do what you does, because itís a game! You go Princess! Back to school, that is.

    Liz Gets The Smackdown
    The contestants head to the Tommy Hilfiger warehouse distribution center to learn about their next design assignment, if we can call it that. Each team will get 500 pieces of clothing from the warehouse to alter, and sell out of the back of a truck, just like road side watermelon stands, and windshield repair businesses. How nice. It is time to pick teams, and leaders this week are Rob Walker, and Felix.

    Team Felix The Cats (Yellow Team)
    Elizabeth
    Shauna
    Wes

    Team Walker: Texas Rangers (Blue Team)
    Princess
    Chris
    Deanna (by default) She takes it well and winks at Felix.

    Both teams grab their 500 garments, and head to the loft to make new creations out of them. Unfortunately, Team Felix immediately gets frustrated with Liz when she turns down every idea, and calls them generic. Wes and Shauna need a break, and head downstairs to mingle with the other teamÖ.but the mingling turns in to Liz smack talking. (minus Felix and Rob) Chris imitates Liz, which makes everyone erupt in laughter. Liz of course, can hear everything,decides she has had enough, and goes downstairs to confront them. As soon as Liz calls them out, main culprits Shauna, Chris, and Wes stay quiet like the cowards they are, but Princess steps up and decides to step in.

    Liz: All of you people sit there and say things about me, but none of yíall look at yourselves.
    Princess: She really donít think nothing wrong with her!
    Liz: Your comments are so annoying, youíre rude, and youíre loud, and youíre obnoxious.
    Princess: I really donít care because youíre a snob, and a bitch on top of that..Your voice is annoying.
    Liz: Ö.and you have terrible grammar, and you spit your poetry, and youíre obnoxiousÖ

    And the closer!Ö
    Princess: Bitch! Letís keep it real, youíre a snob.

    Princess says she is a lady, but nobody runs their mouth to her. Princess, if you were truly a lady, NBC wouldnít have to use subtitles when you speak. Iím just keeping it real.

    Team Felix
    The yellow team gets to work, despite the obvious friction between each other. Felix gets the bright idea to make stamps out of yoga mats, and stamp pictures on the clothing. Princess is shown spray painting lines on jeans.

    With everything ready to go, Felix misplaces the key to the truck, delaying the whole team. He doesnít seem to think it is his fault, however, and blames it on the disorderly work area. Liz and Felix head to the truck company to get another key, but the truckers need a license plate. With no way to contact Shauna and Wes, Felix gives up and pouts in the car. By the time Liz recovers the key, the entire day is lost, and they only have one more day to make it up.

    The second day of the competition, Wes comes up with the seemingly great idea to sell everything for five bucks. The plan works, and everything gets sold quickly, regardless of the horrid appearance of the clothes. Tommy makes a visit to the truck with a special guest, Russell Simmons. They both seem to dislike the extremely low price.

    Team Rob
    The blue team gets to work after the Liz fiasco, but is a bit overwhelmed by the task. They have to alter 500 garments in just 24 hours! The first day goes well, and the team feels confident they will win.

    The second day doesnít go as smoothly. Having learned of the key fiasco, they decide to take it easy and wake up late. Once everyone is ready to go, Rob takes them to two locations, but neither is full of people. Russell Simmons arrives with Tommy, and he actually buys one of their shirts! He will probably just throw it away and some stray dog will use it as a blanket.

    A Win Is A Win
    Itís time to name a winner, and Russell Simmons is called in again to give his expert opinion. Russell does not like the five dollar price tag team Felix smacked on the clothes, although the general public feels that itís just about right. Wes fesses up to the pricing, and Russell says he would fire him just based on that decision. He continues, and says although team Rob was ahead on creativity, from a business stand point, they made all of the wrong decisions with their pricing and location.

    Unfortunately, Tommy cannot make his own decision since the winner was decided solely on sales. The winning team isÖ..Team Felix with 1,726 dollars in sales, beating out the other team by over 400 dollars! The winners rejoice, but Tommy says that anyone can sell anything for five dollars, although I would rather buy turd scented candles than yoga matted shirts, and spray painted jeans. Tommy continues his little lecture telling the team the integrity was taken out of the brand, and that he will remember this at a future date. Of course, this show has tainted what little coolness there was in the brand to begin with, but whatever.

    Tommy turns to Team Rob, and the most exciting pit to date takes place.

    1. Tommy: The prices were too high, Deanna and Princess step into the pit.
    2. Tommy: Your location was completely off, Rob in the pit.
    3. Tommy: The whole team failed, Chris in the pit.
    4. Tommy: Princess, who should go?
    Princess: Not me!
    Tommy: Princess, get out of the pit
    5. Tommy: Princess, if you donít answer me, you will come back in the pit. Who should go?
    Princess: Not me!
    Tommy: Princess, youíre an asshat, get back in the pit.
    6. Tommy: This was all about location, location, location! Rob, youíre out of style, now cut off that goatee! (Actual catch-phrase might be altered)

    Was that exciting or what? The only person missing in the pit was Tommy Hilfiger's plastic surgeon. Rob takes his elimination in style, and says goodbye to each of the remaining contestants. He plugs his non-existent career with his last words and says heís Rob Walker from Brooklyn, leaving with his integrity intact.

    Next week on The Cut: The game turns individual, and each contestant must put their photography skills to the test. Felix comments that Wes has created an extremely gay shot, and we see a guy in a wife beater getting sprayed with water. Also, a guest shocks everyone at style forum!

    Drop me a line!burntcroww@aol.com

  2. #2
    FORT Fogey Harvest's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Burntcrow
    A Win Is A Win
    Itís time to name a winner, and Russell Simmons is called in again to give his expert opinion. Russell does not like the five dollar price tag team Felix smacked on the clothes, although the general public feels that itís just about right. Wes fesses up to the pricing, and Russell says he would fire him just based on that decision. He continues, and says although team Rob was ahead on creativity, from a business stand point, they made all of the wrong decisions with their pricing and location.

    Unfortunately, Tommy cannot make his own decision since the winner was decided solely on sales.
    Too bad Tommy did not design a better challenge in the first place.
    He was so annoyed when one team denigrated the brand by selling the "$70 shirts" for $5 each in Brooklyn, but that's hindsight and really exposed how ridiculously priced "designer" mass merchandise is.

    Since Tommy Hilfiger has identified his brand so strongly with red white and blue and flag motifs, I wondered if all those garments were made in the USA. I'll bet they weren't! I'll bet they cost him much less than $5 each to produce!

  3. #3
    FORT Fanatic Stump's Avatar
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    Excellent recap. Much easier than actually watching the show. I can't believe how horrible that contest was designed. Too short a time frame to do any real designing and it really was all about pricing. I would have priced them at $10 myself but it seems $5 did the trick.

  4. #4
    FORT Fanatic GlitterxGold's Avatar
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    You go Princess! Back to school, that is.
    Each team will get 500 pieces of clothing from the warehouse to alter, and sell out of the back of a truck, just like road side watermelon stands, and windshield repair businesses
    Haha watermelons.....

    Princess, if you were truly a lady, NBC wouldnít have to use subtitles when you speak. Iím just keeping it real.
    although I would rather buy turd scented candles than yoga matted shirts, and spray painted jeans.
    Tommy: Princess, youíre an asshat, get back in the pit.
    The only person missing in the pit was Tommy Hilfiger's plastic surgeon
    Mad skillz, yo.

  5. #5
    Leia-Jakita-Arendt OnMyLunchBreak's Avatar
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    Excellent recap all around Burnt!

    This gem had me though:

    The winners rejoice, but Tommy says that anyone can sell anything for five dollars, although I would rather buy turd scented candles than yoga matted shirts, and spray painted jeans.

  6. #6
    Yoffy lifts a finger... fluff's Avatar
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    Only 8 designers remain, which seven will be cut tonight? Just kidding, of course, but would anyone really care?

    To sum it up, it is what it is, it be what it be, you just do what you does, because itís a game! You go Princess! Back to school, that is.

    Russell Simmons arrives with Tommy, and he actually buys one of their shirts! He will probably just throw it away and some stray dog will use it as a blanket.

    Of course, this show has tainted what little coolness there was in the brand to begin with, but whatever.

    Tommy: Princess, youíre an asshat, get back in the pit.
    Excellent recap as always, Burnt.
    If only the show were half as good as you make it sound

  7. #7
    When I'm 64 William13's Avatar
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    Burntcrow, step out of the pit you aren't going anywhere. Your recap was far more creative than anything that happened in the show.

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