I have a secret to share. I don’t know the slightest thing about what is hot and chic today. Heck, I’m still drooling over the high waistline acid-washed jeans and poofy stir-up pants that graced the hallways in Saved By the Bell. So this ought to be a fun trip down the runway. Let’s hope the straps on my heels do not break…
The contestants are slowly and surely dwindling down in numbers. There are only thirteen contestants left after Chris S. was found out of style. I just knew he should’ve worn something that showed off his eyes. Back at the loft, James expresses his concern over how safe he really feels. Tommy just nods along, pretending to lend an ear when you know he’s secretly thinking “girlfriend, you better do something about that hair.”
The next morning everyone assembles at Bryant Park to meet Mr. H and learn of their next task. Mr. H reminds them they are standing in the heart of Fashion Week- where cutting edge fashion is born and dreams are fulfilled.
This weeks task is to create three dresses for fashion week. They will each be given $1,200 and thirty hours to complete the task. The catch is that they won’t be able to use your basic cookie cutter runway model, but instead will have to find someone off the street. This ought to be great for the lone straight guy on the team- he gets to pick up chicks under the guise of pretending to be a fashion designer.
The teams are picked at random and this weeks two pickers are Wes (Yellow Team) and Tommy (Blue Team).
Wes selects: Deanna, Felix, James, Elizabeth, Julie and everyone’s favorite whipping-boy, Jeff.
Tommy chooses: Princess, Shauna, Jessica, Chris C. and Rob.
Along with the task is of course Tommy’s “social image” segment where he sends four people to various parties, orgies and other salacious gatherings. Tonight, Mr. H is throwing a little shindig of his own at his SoHo store. Each person will get five hundred dollars to buy and “look the part.” It’s Mr. H’s chance to get to know them a little more intimately (but not in a prison kind of way). Tonight, Rob and Chris C. from Blue team and Wes and Deanna from Yellow team will head to the party. They can rejoin their team after midnight when all the rest of the geese have turned into pumpkins.
Tommy feels that his team will have a leg up on yellow team. After all, yellow is so last week and so are the people on the team. Princess is all over Tommy’s jock and it’s all he can do but shake her off his leg like that annoying dog your aunt Shirley brings to Christmas dinner.
Let the Foreshadowing begin
The yellow team seems to be getting off to a rocky start. Jeff wants to go risqué while Elizabeth wants to play conservative schoolgirl- which is fine if it’s your one year wedding anniversary- not so good for walking down the runway. Alas they come up with some designs and they pair off leaving Jeff the odd man out. I can’t help but feel sorry for this guy. How many ways can you blow somebody off and they not get the hint?
The blue team seems to running on all four cylinders which usually spells doom later on in the show. Shauna is laid up in bed with a cold and Rob and Chris are spritzing the last of their Old Spice before heading to the party. Jessica is out pounding the pavement in search of models. How convenient that in a city of ten million attention whores, she can’t find one. Tommy tells us in confessional that while he openly agreed to use Princess’s designs, he scrapped them. Ah, that sneaky bastard.
When You Get Lost Between The Moon and New York City
Hilfiger’s part-ay was either as dull as a knife or it was so off the hook, none of it could be shown. Either way, we only get to see two or three minutes of the contestants mingling and making fools of themselves. Rob wanted Mr. H to know that he felt uncomfortable wearing a suit and that him wearing a t-shirt underneath was “who I am”. Mr. H liked that about him. Wes spent the remainder of the evening hitting on girls, getting their measurements and generally acting like an ass. As it turns out, Wes actually did good and secured a model for their team.
There’s only fifteen hours remaining in the task and Jessica is freaking out over the lack of model-ish hotness in NYC. She finally spies one and I have to agree she is pretty smoking. Unfortunately the model hopeful has to work so Jessica is left to find another one. But wait, the model-to-be is back and asks if she can change her mind. Now, I’m certainly no genius, but doesn’t it seem a bit odd that suddenly she’s available?
Edit This %$@#
Holy flamboyance, Batman. Tommy is starting to get behind schedule and it’s apparent he has no clue how to handle a little stress. Soon his hands are in the air, he begins to ramble and the other’s are left staring at him wondering if he’s gone loco. I smell a sabotage in the works. At least, that’s what I would do. *hee hee*
Before Tommy can get all Birdcage on us, Mr. H makes an appearance. He wants this task to representative of the fashion industry and thus sometimes there needs to be an “edit”. Instead of showing all three dresses on the runway, the teams can only choose one dress to show. Yellow team chooses Elizabeth’s dress which is funny considering the nine million hours before that everyone hated her idea. The blue team went with Princess’s design which is described as
hootchie mama“sexy yet elegant.”
Enter the Dragon
It’s time for the showdown and the
gladiatorsdesigner’s enter the style forum. Two teams enter, one team leave. I know, too many movie references but it’s kind of silly. The style pit is so reminiscent of many a 1950’s paper machete Roman Coliseum. I keep waiting for Tommy Hilfiger to give the thumbs up or down.
Tommy was pleasantly surprised at the four who attended his party. He enjoyed learning more about them. Well that explains why we didn’t see much footage…booor-ing.
Mr. H is stoked to see the models and Elizabeth’s dress is the first to be modeled. I must admit that I liked it a lot. It was conservative but still sexy and the model was beautiful. Tommy H. pointed out a pin that was holding together one sleeve to the body of the dress. Oopsie daisy. Not good in Tommy’s eyes as a dress for the runway should be ready to roll without pins in it.
Next we see Princess’s dress and model. Ouch! It looked like a walking stalk of shiny bloated rhubarb. You could see the look in the model’s face, too. If she wasn’t so fluffy and embarrassed, she would’ve gang tackled the blue team. Even Mr. H had a hard time coming up with something nice to say, which incidentally looked like it was edited in. Tommy liked the concept but it sucked in reality.
Elizabeth’s dress design wins the day and she feels very honored. Mr. H turns to the blue team and questions Tommy. Tommy admits he was the technician. Jessica speaks up and says that Tommy changed the design. Princess gets cornered as to why she didn’t speak up. What?! Suddenly Princess is on the chopping block? But not so fast! Jessica speaks up a little too much and gets cornered by Mr. H and he asks her what she did for the creative process. Well, actually she didn’t do a damn thing but that’s beside the point.
Mr. H asks Tommy, Princess and Jessica to step into the pit and it looks like Jessica is going to get the runway walk but Shauna shakes her head and it catches Hilfiger‘s. Shauna was able to explain that Tommy is basically an attention freak and a “look at me, I saved the world” type of person. In the end, Mr. H doesn’t like someone who makes excuses and says the five magical words, “Tommy, you’re out of style.” The look on Tommy’s face is priceless as he’s holding back the tears.
Mr. H recalls an old saying that cream rises to the top. He’s starting to see some cream. Will the cream stay fresh next week or will it curdle? Stay tuned, stay groovy and stay in style…
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