This is my first ever recap for Cupid. I had never even watched the show before, so I was a bit apprehensive about recapping it. I decided that a fresh pair of eyes might make the recap more exciting… I fear I was wrong.
We begin the show with a brief recap of last week, and then the introduction of the guys. Dominic, Hank, Robert, Renda, Joe and Evan make their entrance to cheers from the live audience.
Then we meet Lisa… well, I meet Lisa, everyone else has met her many times before. She is a pretty woman and I have to wonder why she has decided to do this show. I assume they have explained that in previous episodes, but I really can’t think of a good reason other than “I want my fifteen minutes”. Of course I’ve been out of the dating pool for over 17 years, so things may have changed a tad. Maybe this is the best way to meet your future husband.
Next our host Brian McFayden introduces Lisa’s two friends who apparently narrowed down the field before America started to vote.
Laura is introduced as a Grizzly Bear in a push-up bra. I have to look, and honestly I can’t promise you she is even wearing a bra, but whatever.
Kimberly is introduced as someone whose tongue is so sharp she keeps in the knife drawer. This makes me cringe, only because I actually picture a disembodied tongue in a drawer. It’s a gross mental image.
We are shown the guys in the bachelor pad as they toast Ken, who I assume was last week’s victim. No one truly seems bothered by him leaving.
Renda, who is a poet, talks about having to give up the Gigolo life style for marriage. I would have expected more from a poet.
Brian calls down the three men with the lowest number of votes. Dominic is first and no one seems surprised by that. Next it’s Joe, again, no shocker. Then Brian announces Renda and I don’t know if America is shocked, but he sure is.
Renda gets to hang out for 30 seconds, and then is sent back to his seat. I think it’s lame to even have called him.
Only Dominic and Joe are left. The girlfriends get to give their opinions on which one should leave and they both choose Dominic, as he is too young and not ready for marriage. Then, as any TV viewer knows, we get to go to commercial before the results are read.
Bye, bye to Joe. Having never seen the show, even I could have guessed that. It’s nothing to do with Joe of course. Just the fact that the friends wanted Dominic gone.
Brian breaks Joe’s Arrow and I roll my eyes. This is possibly the worst “Goodbye Ceremony” I’ve ever been witness to.
The editors have put together a montage of Joe Clips and I get to see him with his family at what looked like the auditions, painting Lisa’s toenails, eating pizza, feeding Lisa ice cream or whipped cream or something, then naturally I get to hear that he wants to marry her. Poor guy.
He says Lisa is great, but if he can’t have her he’ll be happy to date Laura. Lisa hugs him goodbye and Laura (bear) hugs him hello.
During the past week, the guys got to meet Lisa’s family and cook for them, so we get to see each of the remaining five “potentials” show off their culinary skills.
This guy has decided to go with a theme date. He’s cooking Hawaiian Fajita’s and has a lei for everyone there.
We get to see him preparing the meal, and some odd part of it comes in a can. Yummmm, how very appetizing that is.
I don’t know if Evan’s timing is bad, or if Lisa’s family is early, but nothing is done when they arrive. Somehow it seems that everyone else gets to cook dinner for them, including Dad who is shown manning the grill.
Dad asks Evan what he thinks of Lisa. There is a masochistic part of me that wants to hear something really negative.
Naturally Evan lets me down, and tells dad that Lisa is a great girl. Dad thinks Evan needs to be more serious, and Brother Brian doesn’t trust him at all.
Evan thinks the date was a disaster, but Lisa makes out with him, so he feels better.
Laura says: the date WAS a disaster. Evan had a bad attitude and was whiney the whole time. She admits that the sexual chemistry is there though, and that is wonderful.
Kimberly says: She’s not his biggest fan, but last week she started to like him more. Then this week he blew it again. She admits the sexual chemistry is there, but she’s not sure it’s enough.
Evan says: I agree I really messed up, but I love hanging out with Lisa.
Lisa says: He’s so endearing and she likes how he makes lemonade from lemons.
He decides to make salads. Being a vegetarian myself, I think this is a fine idea. Then I learn he’s making custom salads. That means he’s putting all the ingredients in different bowls, and after everyone arrives he will find out what they want in the salad and make it for them right there. This idea, in my opinion, might work if it was just him and Lisa, but he’s got 7 salads to make now, meaning of course, that by the time he’s making the 4th one whoever ate first is ready for desert. Seems stupid to me, but no one seems to agree.
Renda is a sly one. I can’t decide whether he is sincere or not. He’s very good at getting Dad to talk about himself… making Pops feel important, isn’t that rule number 3 in the “Make A Good Impression” rule book?
We learn that Renda has a four-year degree. He majored in finance and minored in economics. He wants to register his name and make money… something like that.
Mom seems impressed with the schooling; Dad thinks he has a great serious side that he wouldn’t have thought Renda to have. Brother Brian is either to mean, to nice or looking for some meat to eat, as we don’t hear what he has to say.
After the guests leave Renda tells Lisa that if they get married they can throw a party and sell tickets so people can come “look” at them. He also has an idea for T-Shirts or something.
Laura Says: The meal was delicious, but Lisa is not a carnival side show. They would be better as friends.
Kimberly Says: Everyone likes him. On one level she think he’s great, but on another level he and Lisa have no commonality. He’s all over the board.
Renda Says: He’s an adventure seeker and he wants a partner as it’s always better with a partner.
Cali Says: I thought his right arm looked stronger than his left one.
Lisa Says: Not thrilled with the whole ticket selling idea.
He announces what it is that he is cooking, but I miss it. Looks fine I guess, if you’re either a carnivore or omnivore. Hank is ready to answer questions. I think he should have bought the rulebook.
He has a degree in economics and wants to live on and operate an organic farm and vineyard. Dad says he’ll happily taste the wine for him.
Dad asks Lisa what she thinks of his plans, and she says she loves it. People start laughing picturing her on a farm. I get a flash of Zsa Zsa.
Dad is worried about her career and is shocked to learn that Lisa is more than happy to give up her career when she has kids.
Brother Brian likes him.
Laura Says: When I walked into your home I felt as though I was walking into Yours and Lisa’s home. Very natural. You didn’t kiss any ass.
Cali Says: It’s amazing how much “his” home looks exactly like every other guys “home”
Kimberly Says: Lisa’s face just lights up whenever she sees or talks about him. He’s ready for marriage. Mature.
Hank Says: He doesn’t want Lisa giving up her career and she will need to be a bread winner too.
Lisa Says: He knows how hard this experience is on everyone and is great at verbalizing it.
He admits that he doesn’t cook often and he’s not very good at it. He really wants to prove himself honest, so he burns the Bratwurst.
Dad wants to know what Dominic’s plans are, but Dominic doesn’t know. Mom feels like he HAS to know. I feel for him, because at 36 I have no clue what MY plans are yet.
When questioned (repeatedly) about his readiness Dominic keep saying things like “…I THINK I’m ready…”, “I THINK I would like to settle down…” and “I THINK Lisa and I hit it off…”
Dad wants to hear that Dominic KNOWS something, but it just never happens.
After everyone leaves he and Lisa start making out. I swear I think he’s wearing Sergio Valente jeans. I haven’t seen them since the…what… early 80’s? Late 70’s? Wow.
He says it’s hard to say bye after things get all hot and heavy. Here I have to say that things did seem to get Hot and Heavy. He was all over her, lying on top of her on the couch. Making out like crazy. Remember that for later.
Laura Says: Sure he’s handsome and hot and all, but he kept saying “I THINK”. He’s just not ready.
Kimberly Says: He handled himself well for his age, BUT he’s definitely not ready for marriage.
Dominic Says: I THINK I’m a man and I THINK I’m ready
Lisa Says: She has all sorts of fun with him, he’s great, blah, blah, blah… he needs to do all the single women in the world a favor and date them before he settles down.
Cali Says: He’s probably not ready which means America will probably vote him through ‘til the end.
Robert has decided to make an Austrian soup. He has no idea what the ingredients are, or how to make it. He thinks it needs to cook for another hour, but the family is due in five minutes. He also figures he can finish it all if no one likes it.
I guess he done good, as everyone seems to enjoy the soup.
Dad wants to know what his plans are. We get a very generic “I want to help people and start a non-profit organization”. Robert seems like a nice guy, but I don’t get this answer at all.
I assume the family has seen footage of these guys and their dates with Lisa. Dad was expecting not to like Robert and was pleasantly surprised to learn that he actually does like him.
It was nice to see a different side of him this week.
The family leaves and Robert asks Lisa if she would like a massage. She says sure, and we learn a little later that the massage was about an hour long. MY GOD WOMAN… MARRY HIM NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I KNOW a good massage when I get one, and I am pretty sure I know a good massage when I see one. Man-oh-man it looked like a damn good massage. I relaxed a little just watching it.
Laura Says: The massage was creepy. It was wrong and he will NEVER get her to take her clothes off again. It was VERY CREEPY..
Cali Says: Remember a couple paragraphs up I asked you to remember how Dominic was ALL OVER Lisa? This is why… can some one tell me why a good therapeutic massage was creepy, but some kid in tight Sergio pants climbing all over your friend is NOT creepy??
Kimberly Says: The meal was amazing but you have no chance whatsoever with Lisa.
Robert Says: He didn’t mean for the massage to be creepy. He also felt as though Lisa’s parents accepted him as one of their own.
Lisa Says: The massage was sweet and NOT AT ALL creepy, she seems genuinely upset with Laura for thinking and saying that.
That’s it for the dates. So now we get to hear a few of the thoughts from the guys. Robert was surprised he was in the bottom three, and Hank informs us that all his friends say they are going to vote for Robert to win.
Laura Don’t vote for Renda
Kim Don’t vote for Dominic
Wells Cupid Fans, I hope I didn’t butcher the recap too badly. If you enjoyed the recap and want to let me know feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. If you didn’t enjoy it… well, please don’t email me!