Short Skirts and Mirrored Shoes = nothing to lose CUPID 8/12
Cupid has been at it again, flitting around Lisa and gazing at himself in her ever brilliant white teeth while shooting his arrows one to many time. Lisa, has been struck by a number of his arrows because she canít find anything to say about the hunks but she loved the date and is smitten, she hasnít given America a clue as to who is really at the top of her list so I am looking forward to seeing just whoís arrow becomes kindling this week. Letís follow that little cheeky monkey Cupid and see what happens.
Itís heartbreaking. Itís sad. Itís pretty shameful. But for the average television viewer, it is at least something to do on a Tuesday evening instead of mowing the lawn. Scott who last week prided himself on what a fabulous kisser he is received the lowest number of votes out of Ken and Robert and thus had his heart and his cupidís arrow broken.
McFaddencrest reminds us that even though America found Scott to be a total loser and thus voted him off the show, we can still win a date with him by going to Match.com. I donít rush to sign up because Iím holding out for Lil Swartzenegger. I know that once he sees me, he will fall instantly in love with me, sing karaoke and then proceed to cry like a baby. Iím getting ahead of myself; his date is much later in the show but it is burning a hole in my keyboard so I just gave a little hint.
McFaddencrest gives us the set-up behind the rest of the dates. Weíve seen the guys at their best so now we need to see them at their worst. So the showís producers keep them up all night long so they can be sleep-deprived, have them buy an outfit for Lisa to wear and take her somewhere appropriate. Because usually in a relationship a man is at his worst when he has to go shopping with a woman let alone shopping for her when he is tired. But then I would say being on the show is showing his worst but ok I will play along!
First date is Ken the Ken the Asian Tower. Heís been the most boring of the pack and was even on the chopping block two weeks in a row. But tonight he redeems himself somewhat. Sleep deprivation works for him. Heís relaxed, funny and with the exception of a bra mishap does all right for himself. Asian Tower may have redeemed himself but heís still boring. Anyway Laura and Kim just loved him this week. They said a lot of nice things about him but I donít remember any of them because I was too caught up in trying to figure out how Laura cam wear those camisole things and not have her nipples show. Well, anyway it was a good date and he passed this week.
Evanís turn and he has a casual date planned. So he goes out and buys Lisa a casual outfit. Ever the gentlemen, he tries on the panties before purchase and says that if the bra sticks out, thatís okay. The outfit is a little small and Lisa looks uncomfortable constantly adjusting it over her breasts... I donít get it. He acts like an ass, a player but yet he still gets kissed. He gets conflicting reviews from the bookends
Okay, back to the dates. Dominic is up. He looks tired, amazing, hot, beautiful but tired. He buys Lisaís some pajamas and then takes her to a hotel room so they can lounge around and hang out. For some reason, Iím beginning to hear Brahmas lullaby in my head and wondering if the age thing really is a problem. Dominick wants Lisa to tuck him in a read him a story. Just kidding they have a great time just hanging out and then they do tuck into the bed but I donít think that was a story she was whispering in his mouth!
Playwright Paul tries to redeem Lisa from the hotel sex romp date, so he takes her out for a formal dinner. I have to hand it to Playwright Paul; he sure does clean up pretty decent. Whereís the white outfit from his audition? I miss that Saturday Night Fever look he had going on. But it doesnít matter because Iím sure he will be eliminated before we are down to 5 guys. But, once again, Lisa ďloves himĒ and hopes that he sticks around. Iím sure she wants everyone to stick around. And why wouldnít she? Bunch of guys begging for her attention fighting over her? Sure stick around!
Renda the poet is up next. Renda does something different and takes her to a spa. News flash it isnít different! Didnít Obnoxious Joe take Lisa out on a first date to get a pedicure and massage? Anyway, the only thing I found interesting about this date is Renda proclaiming himself gifted as a kid. Too bad he grew up. Do gifted children grow up to be street hustlers? Thatís it no more praise for my straight A student. I think the spa idea was just a way to get to fall asleep too, who doesnít want to go to sleep during a massage?
Again, I just donít get it. But Lisa, Laura and Kim really really really really really like this guy. Even Kim. says that if things donít work out between him and Lisa, then she has a few friends she can hook him up with. I see Kim trying to be the Paula Abdul of the Cupid show. She will keep supplying friends for the men to date thus securing her spot on the show.
Now here you go, time for the Termidator part three. Lil Swartzenegger. I could write pages about this guy and just be discussing the possible issues this guy has. I felt a little guilty as the camera showed his sad face. But, then I remembered I have to recap so I got over it. Lil Swartzenegger goes shopping for Lisaís outfit. First up is lingerie. To make sure he purchases the right kind of panties, Lil Swartzenegger sniffs them first. You know when I see a guy doing that in a department store, I feel certain I have seen his face somewhere before ( cough, post office, cough cough ) Next, Lil Swartzenegger picks out a dress or a shirt or a shirt he intends to be a dress. Iím not sure, but I do know the last time I saw that gold-colored fabric it was in the Studio 54 movie on HBO. To top off the disco look he picks out a pair of huge mirrored shoes. Women in Austria must have big feet. I wonít even go into the mirror shoe part. Lil Schwartzenegger and Lisa sit and have a bite to eat. Where? It doesnít matter because the next thing you know, Lil Schwartzenegger is crying. Then, he starts bawling. Through the tears, he says that he is doing everything wrong, he needs to open up, and he is just so in love with her, some one call the waaaaaaaaaaambulance. Lisa looks uncomfortable and doesnít know what to do. No wonder since around this time on her other dates, sheís usually making out with the guy. Ok well what can one say about the date? Well I say he should suck it up in public after all he is the body double for the future Gov of California!
The showís producers once again have Hank the Hunkís date after Lil Schwartzeneggerís. I guess so America can see the good after the bad and before the ugly. (Obnoxious Joe is after Hunk). Hank picks a nice black dress for Lisa so he can take her to a romantic dinner. Hank tells Lisa during dinner that as kid he loved cow tongue for dinner and uses that as segway to kiss her. No tongue of course being that Hank is the ultimate Gentleman. Laura doesnít think there is passion between the two but do we want to know what Lauraís kind of passion involves? I think he is the best one but I donít think I will vote for him because after all I am a single girl and I just might click over to the Match.com web site and vie for one of the losers!!!
Last and certainly least is obnoxious Joe. He takes Lisa on a gondola ride. Venice tradition states that while riding a gondola, when you go under a bridge, you kiss. Well, thatís not a problem for Lisa whoís been horning it up all night. Joe asks her if Lisa feels comfortable marrying him. Well, if you buy her one of those million dollar houses she might!
Well, I do want to comment on the producers and how much fun it was watching the guys shop for a girl. That was fun just to see that they have no idea what kind of lingerie goes under which type of dresses. Lisa had bra straps of all colors and sizes sticking out of her various outfits. Also, seeing the guys ask what size is size O that was really fun. Lisa was also a great sport walking in shoes that were too big and clothes that were too small!
I think the guys thought they had a real Clown in her, the little body big feet!
Have fun till next week and vote for Robert we need a couple body double for Arnold and Maria!