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Thread: “It’s to the death, right?” Ep. 3 Recap 12/16

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    “It’s to the death, right?” Ep. 3 Recap 12/16

    “It’s to the death, right?”
    Celebrity Poker Showdown Recap – Ep. 3 – 12/16

    Greenie: Hello! We’ve all gathered around again to watch some stellar and sometimes not so stellar poker playing by well known and well actually not so well known celebrities. Tonight’s bunch consists of Hank Azaria, the voice of at least half the characters on The Simpsons, Michael Ian Black who is on a whole bunch of shows I don’t watch, but I did see him on VH1 I Love the 80s and he was absolutely hilarious. Peter Facinelli also joins us and is best known for being married to Jenny Garth of 90210 fame. And lastly we have two ladies this evening, Mo Gaffney who is most famous for her award winning play “Kathy & Mo” with Kathy Najimy, and Nicole Sullivan who is on the popular show “King of Queens”. I will go against all commentator etiquette and say I’m whole-heartedly rooting for Hank. I find him incredibly sexy. You can have your Phil, Zhora. I’ll take Hank.

    Zhora: Hmmmm…I don’t know if that’s a very fair deal. Phil’s got the brainy tall guy thing going for him but Hank is a looker with loads of personality. Maybe we can play a little rock, paper, scissors later – winner take all. Um, yeah, OK then. *fan fan fan* Let’s get back to the showdown before these TV monitors start to fog up. These players are all vying for entrance into the final game, (week 6), where they will have an opportunity to win $100,000 for the charity of their choosing. Although that is some serious cash, all players’ charities are guaranteed $5,000, so the celebs are fairly relaxed and ready for fun. This should be a really great game tonight Greenie. I understand that we have some experienced poker players in the house, and they seem like a wacky comedic bunch as well. I’m excited already!

    Greenie: I have a feeling this week is going to top the last two, especially since my Hank is in it.

    Zhora: Our host, Kevin Pollak is still sporting that hat we love to hate as he shmoozes with the players before the first hand, (man, where are the Fab 5 when you need them?!?). When Kevin asks, “Hank, you know a thing about no limit hold’em, right?” Hank replies, “Yeah, it’s to the death, right?”. Damn! I’m cracking up already and we haven’t even seen the first hand yet. Speaking of the first hand, it’s time to Shuffle Up & Deal! Wowie zowie…Peter starts the night off with big slick, A[img]d.gif[/img] K[img]c.gif[/img]. It being the first hand, he decides to slow play and only calls the big blind. Mo and Nicole fold. Michael has a pair of 7’s and raises the bet to $500. Hank folds and Peter calls. I like Peter’s chances here, but you can’t fault Michael for testing the water with that raise. The Flop comes down 2[img]h.gif[/img] J[img]d.gif[/img] K[img]h.gif[/img]. It’s a pair of Kings for Peter and he bets out $500. Michael sees the two overcards and wisely folds his 7’s. I like the way that hand was played all the way around. I think we’re in for a real treat tonight, folks. Upon his win, it’s time for Peter’s bio. He is playing for The Retinitis Pigmentosa Foundation. He’s been playing poker since the age of 15 when he would sneak behind the curtain at the local Bodega to blow all his paychecks on video poker.

    Greenie: Video poker can be addictive, but there’s nothing like playing live with other people. The blinds have been raised to $200/400 now. My man Hank has decided to imitate Jack Nicholson for this round. He’s sporting some cool sunglasses, and Michael asks him, “When are you gonna do your Jack Nicholson impression?” Smartass. Anyway, it’s time for our second hand. Sadly the Jack impression didn’t help Hank and he folds. Peter has Q[img]h.gif[/img] A[img]s.gif[/img] and calls. Mo also calls with her K[img]d.gif[/img] 10[img]h.gif[/img]. Nicole doesn’t have much with 6[img]d.gif[/img] Q[img]s.gif[/img] but since she’s the big blind she can check to see The Flop. The Flop comes down Q[img]c.gif[/img] J[img]s.gif[/img] 2[img]d.gif[/img] which gives Peter and Nicole the top pair with Peter having the higher kicker. Mo has flopped an open ended straight draw. Nicole checks and Peter raises $2,000. Mo is not feeling too lucky with her straight draw and folds. Nicole calls. The Turn brings 9[img]d.gif[/img] which would have given Mo her straight. Nicole checks again and Peter bets $2,000 again. Nicole starts to show her lack of confidence in her cards, and Hank starts chiding her with “What would Phil Gordon do?” I bet you would have the answer to that Zhora. *wink wink* Nicole folds realizing she’s given away her poker face.

    Zhora: I doubt the answer is “Zhora”, but a girl can dream, right? I can certainly empathize with Nicole in that situation. It’s always hard to fold top pair, but her kicker was weak, Peter was betting very strong, and there were lots of hands that could beat her on the River. That was a pretty smart laydown by Nicole. She starts the next hand by calling the big blind with a J[img]c.gif[/img] 5[img]c.gif[/img]. Michael and Hank fold. Peter has another playable hand with A[img]c.gif[/img] 4[img]s.gif[/img], and he bets $2,000. Interesting. Peter is really setting out to be the table captain pretty early on. I wonder how it will work out for him. Mo calls the $2,000 with her A[img]s.gif[/img] 6[img]h.gif[/img] and Nicole folds. The Flop is 9[img]h.gif[/img] 6[img]s.gif[/img] 7[img]h.gif[/img]. Peter gently puts the brakes on as he checks to Mo. Mo likes her pair of 6’s with Ace kicker, but only bets the minimum $600. Peter doubles Mo’s raise, and Phil seems really impressed at the first check-raise of the night. Nicole tells Mo, “Don’t be afraid of him”, to which Mo replies, “I’m not. I’ve seen him naked. {she laughs} I’m kidding!”, as she calls his reraise. The Turn brings a Q[img]h.gif[/img]. Mo doesn’t have a lot of chips left, and sensing weakness in Peter figures her small pair is still good. She pushes all in and stands up to await the outcome. Peter calls her and they flip their cards. When the 9[img]s.gif[/img] is revealed on the River, Mo doubles up, winning the $9,600 pot. That was a nice hand for Mo, so let’s take this opportunity to get to know her a little better. Her charity is Planned Parenthood. Her strength in poker is her ability to read people. This is one funny woman. I’m cracking up at the faces she makes when she talks about giving all that money to charity. Let’s check back in at the table to see how everyone is doing.

    Chip Count
    Michael $14,400
    Peter $13,400
    Hank $10,200
    Mo $9,200
    Nicole $2,800

    Oh dear, Nicole is going to need to make a move pretty soon if she intends to stay in the game. And hey! If Hank has more than the chips he started with he either cheats really well, or the CPS Editor really likes to watch Hank fold.

    Greenie: Yea, they need to start showing Hank more if he’s winning enough hands to be third in the chip count. Maybe this next hand is our chance. This hand begins with Hank reminding the other players that he’s playing for his mom’s charity. Nice guilt trip, Hank! In fact, let’s get to know this handsome man a little better. Hank is playing for the Alzheimer’s Care Committee that his mother runs. He feels poker is a lot like agenting and producing, which is all about bluffing and lying and throwing money around. He also tells us that he’s not good at keeping a good poker face and yells out when he’s got a great hand or a bad hand for that matter. Hank doesn’t give us any reaction at the beginning of the next hand, though, and folds. Darn CPS Editor! Peter is dealt A[img]h.gif[/img] Q[img]s.gif[/img], which is another fantastic hand for him, and he bets $2,000. Both Mo and Nicole fold. Michael has A[img]s.gif[/img] J[img]h.gif[/img] which is also a great hand and he raises $2,000. Peter calls. Hank is excited by all these bets and remarks, “My nipples are hard!” Well it’s certainly nice to see that it doesn’t take much to get him excited.

    Zhora: Gosh, I wonder what kind of physical response he would have to 3 Aces on the Flop.

    Greenie: Well I’m crossing my fingers for that one, Zhora. The Flop comes down 4[img]h.gif[/img] 2[img]h.gif[/img] 8[img]h.gif[/img] which gives Peter an Ace high flush draw and Michael a Jack high flush draw. Both check though. The Turn brings K[img]d.gif[/img], which gives nothing to either one. Michael bets $2,000 though and Peter calls. The River brings 8[img]c.gif[/img], which didn’t give either one their flush. Michael checks. Peter bets $1,000 with his Ace high. Michael calls and Peter wins the pot with his Ace. That was a pretty bold bet for Peter without having any pairs. It paid off in the long run though.

    Zhora: Yeah, $14,300 worth of payoff! It was risky for Peter, but he had a lot of money invested in that pot and he played it fairly strong. Michael checked and ended up calling on the River with nothing. That’s got to be the worst play we’ve seen so far tonight. I’m sure Michael would like to forget about that huge bite Peter just took out of him, so let’s move on to the next hand. Peter is dealt K[img]c.gif[/img] J[img]s.gif[/img] and he calls. Mo folds her hand. Nicole, who has been hanging on by a thread, looks down at a Q[img]c.gif[/img] 5[img]c.gif[/img]. She scratches her temple and says, “Someone’s gotta be the first sucker in that room and it might be me”, as she pushes all her chips to the center of the table. Hank makes a joke about taking his pants down before he very comically folds. I’m actually pretty happy that he was joking. Greenie and I might have hurt each other as we hurdled the audience in order to offer him assistance.

    Greenie: Well I’m not sure I’m “glad” per se, but I do agree. Women and children would have been hurt.

    Zhora: Are we insured for that? No? OK, well Peter calls Nicole’s $2,500-all-in raise. The Flop comes down A[img]h.gif[/img] Q[img]s.gif[/img] 9[img]d.gif[/img], followed by 3[img]s.gif[/img] and A[img]d.gif[/img]. Nicole dodged a bullet, as Peter misses the 10 or King he needed to beat her. Nicole doubles up and receives a standing high five from Mo. I guess it’s time to take a closer look at this comeback kid. Nicole is playing for the Alley Cat Allies. She seems like a funny young lady as she tells us, “I have no ability to read anybody. That’s proven by the littany of ex-boyfriends.”

    Greenie: With the start of the next hand Mo folds not liking what she sees. Hank is dealt 6[img]s.gif[/img] 5[img]s.gif[/img] which is about the best hand he’s had all night and bets $2,000. Go Hank! Peter has A[img]s.gif[/img] K[img]s.gif[/img] which is a great hand, and just calls. Michael folds. Nicole is dealt A[img]c.gif[/img] 10[img]c.gif[/img] and calls. This is going to be a tough one for Hank to win. The Flop comes down 6[img]c.gif[/img] 8[img]h.gif[/img] 5[img]c.gif[/img] which gives Hank two pair and Nicole a flush draw. For some reason Nicole now feels it is appropriate to talk in baby talk and says she’ll bet $2,000. Now if I were Hank, I would go all in since this will probably be his only chance, but he only calls. The Turn brings 2[img]s.gif[/img] which does nothing for either hand. Nicole checks and now Hank goes all in, which Nicole calls. Both turn over their cards and Hank starts begging for no flush. Well as his luck has been all night, The River brings 7[img]c.gif[/img] giving Nicole her flush. Hank reminds everyone that now his mother’s charity won’t be getting the money. He makes his way over to the Loser’s Lounge as the first celeb out tonight. Kevin tries to cheer him up by reminding him his charity still gets $5,000. Hank replies, “Screw $5,000! I wanted to win!” I wanted you to win too, Hank. Sadly we’ll have to continue the game without him, as we are down to four players and Nicole has made her way to the top of the chip count.

    Chip Count
    Nicole $19,100
    Peter $16,300
    Mo $7,500
    Michael $7,100

    Zhora: What a remarkable turnaround for Nicole. It’s sad to see Hank go out first, but I am really enjoying watching the higher level of poker these celebs are playing tonight. It’s clearly still anyone’s game as the 4 remaining contenders get back to work. Nicole and Michael fold, but Peter likes his 10[img]s.gif[/img] 3[img]s.gif[/img] and he calls. Mo was in the big blind and checks with her 9[img]c.gif[/img] A[img]d.gif[/img]. The Flop is K[img]s.gif[/img] 7[img]c.gif[/img] 4[img]d.gif[/img]. Mo and Peter check, hoping for some help on the Turn card. A 9[img]s.gif[/img] is turned, which pairs Mo and gives Peter a flush draw. Peter checks. Mo bets $1,000 at him and he calls her. The 9[img]h.gif[/img] comes on the River giving Mo three 9’s. This time when Peter checks, Mo moves all in and throws a few lighthearted taunts at him. He missed his card, so taunting or no taunting, Peter folds and Mo takes the pot. Now it’s time to take a closer look at Michael Ian Black. He is playing for Endeavor House, a group home in Florida. He tells us his strategy is “hit’em early and hit’em hard and I’m not talking about poker, I mean literally punch’em right in the kisser.” I am lovin’ this guy’s dry wit. His delivery is masterful.

    Greenie: Mo folds at the start of the next hand. Nicole calls with A[img]h.gif[/img] 4[img]h.gif[/img]. Michael folds. Peter is in the big blind with 5[img]d.gif[/img] Q[img]d.gif[/img] and checks. The Flop comes down Q[img]h.gif[/img] 8[img]s.gif[/img] 6[img]s.gif[/img] giving Peter the high pair and Nicole nothing. Peter raises $2,000, but Nicole still calls taking her chances. The Turn brings 4[img]s.gif[/img] which now gives Nicole the low pair. Peter checks and Nicole aggressively bets $2,000. Although this might seem a little risky for Nicole, I like the aggressiveness she’s taking. It seems to have affected Peter because he looks seriously concerned, possibly because of the two spades out there. He calls though and The River brings 9[img]d.gif[/img] which gives nothing to either hand. Peter still not sure about his high pair checks to Nicole. Nicole sensing his insecurity raises $3,000 while giving Peter a very coy smile. Peter feels the pressure from Nicole and reluctantly folds giving Nicole the pot. That was some nice betting by Nicole. She certainly has come around.

    Zhora: Surprising but true. The price of poker is going up, as the blinds hit $500/$1,000. Let’s see what the cards have in store. Nicole is dealt A[img]h.gif[/img] 7[img]s.gif[/img] and she calls. Michael pushes all in with A[img]c.gif[/img] K[img]c.gif[/img] . That makes it $5,600 to Mo. She has a pair of 10’s and she pushes her remaining chips to the center of the table. Nicole is concerned that her Ace-7 won’t hold up so she folds. Michael and Mo are in a face off now, and if Mo’s 10’s don’t hold up she’ll be the next person to hit the Loser’s Lounge. Michael and Mo give us quite a show as they stand up and start slow dancing, waiting for the Flop. Another poker first here at The Sands Casino. The players cards are flipped over and the Flop brings 3[img]h.gif[/img] 4[img]s.gif[/img] 6[img]s.gif[/img] . It’s looking good for Mo. If Michael doesn’t see a King or an Ace in the next two cards she’ll double up. The last 2 cards are flipped and we see a 5[img]d.gif[/img] 9[img]d.gif[/img] . Mo’s pair of 10’s is enough to keep her in the game, but it’s not looking good for Michael. He is on a very short stack now, and probably won’t have an opportunity to pick his next battle. He’s going to have to push all in and hope for some cards to hit on the Flop.

    Chip Count
    Nicole $27,500
    Peter $10,800
    Mo $10,500
    Michael $1,200

    Greenie: Before the start of the next hand we see Nicole chatting with her glass of wine. This certainly doesn’t help the image of women and poker even though she’s the chip leader right now. Maybe drinking is helping her make some better bets, though. Both Peter and Mo fold their hands. Nicole has a strong hand of A[img]h.gif[/img] J[img]h.gif[/img] and knowing Michael is far down in the chip count, she begins to start trying to put him all in. But Michael beats her to the punch and calls all in without even looking at his hand. They both turn over their cards. Michael has 3[img]h.gif[/img] 2[img]d.gif[/img] and realizes he’s definitely the underdog. The Flop comes down 7[img]d.gif[/img] 4[img]d.gif[/img] K[img]d.gif[/img] which actually gives Michael a strong flush draw. The Turn comes 5[img]h.gif[/img] giving neither hand anything. The River comes up 7[img]s.gif[/img] and sadly does not give Michael his flush. Hank greets Michael in the Loser’s Lounge saying “Welcome to Hell”. I bet he’s referring to sitting with Kevin for the past couple hands. Just like Hank, Michael also says, “To hell with the $5,000 and to hell with charity!” That’s the spirit guys!

    Zhora: Michael really cracks me up. When Kevin asked him, “Can we get you a drink?”, he replied, “You can get me a crying towel and an oriental massage.” Too funny. Well, we’re down to 3 now. Let’s head back to the table for some more poker action. Mo calls the big blind with an A[img]c.gif[/img] 2[img]c.gif[/img] . Nicole calls with K[img]s.gif[/img] 9[img]d.gif[/img] . Peter raises the ladies with his Q[img]d.gif[/img] 4[img]s.gif[/img] . That was enough to scare off Nicole, but Mo calls him. And the Flop comes down 10[img]h.gif[/img] 10[img]s.gif[/img] K[img]d.gif[/img] . That would have given Nicole a nice hand, but it doesn’t help Peter or Mo. Peter bluffs though, pushing all in with nothing but the board pair. He pulls it off and Mo lets him have the pot.

    Greenie: Nicole is dealt K[img]c.gif[/img] 7[img]c.gif[/img] and bets $2,000 loving those suited hands. Peter calls with J[img]d.gif[/img] Q[img]h.gif[/img]. Mo is dealt pocket 8’s and only calls here. I think the better move would have been to move all in if she wants any chance of staying in this game. The Flop comes down with 6[img]d.gif[/img] 9[img]d.gif[/img] J[img]h.gif[/img]. Peter flopped Jacks and Nicole has nothing. Peter bets $3,000 on the high pair and Mo calls. Nicole folds. The Turn brings 7[img]d.gif[/img] and now Mo has an open ended straight draw. Mo now moves all in and Peter calls. The River brings 3[img]c.gif[/img] though giving Peter the pot with his pair of Jacks. Mo hugs everyone and makes her way to the Loser’s Lounge. Unlike Hank and Michael, Mo is excited that her charity will still get $5,000. Mo says she had a lot of fun, and Kevin says we wish the last two players luck. Hank replies, “If you mean luck as in choking. . .” Obviously still bitter he was knocked out first. I’m bitter too, Hank, especially since we’re down to pretty much two no names, but it’s definitely a tight race and some exciting poker.

    Chip Count

    Nicole $26,200
    Peter $23,800

    Zhora: Greenie! *chuckles* You don’t have a bitter bone in your body. Heck, even Hank has kept his sense of humor about being a loser, um, I mean, about losing. I’m actually pretty happy that we are left with these two. I think they’ve done very well tonight and somewhere along the line I started to root for them. I’m enjoying imagining one of them taking on The Prince of Darkness and The Mad Hatter.

    Greenie: All right, all right. I’ve enjoyed their playing too. Although Peter’s “too cool J Lo” sunglasses are a little annoying, but he is still a fine looker. And Nicole’s dumb blonde thing is a little much sometimes, but it’s nice to see a woman kicking ass, especially coming from so far behind. Like I said at the beginning, I was rooting for Hank from the get go, and I just wanted to see Hank flex more muscle in this poker round, so I guess I hold a little resentment.

    Zhora: *hahaha* Maybe Hank will flex more muscle for you later. In the mean time we have a winner to determine. Let’s get back to the cards. Nicole is dealt 5[img]s.gif[/img] 7[img]s.gif[/img] and I suppose there are worse hands when you’re playing heads up. She raises the bet to $3,000. Peter calls her with 10[img]c.gif[/img] K[img]d.gif[/img] . The Flop brings 9[img]h.gif[/img] 5[img]h.gif[/img] 3[img]s.gif[/img] . This gives Nicole a pair of 5’s, but it doesn’t help Peter at all. He goes for it anyway and bets out $3,000. Nicole must sense weakness because she raises the bet by another $3,000. That was not what Peter expected or wanted and he folds. That was a nice pot for Nicole. Peter’s got his work cut out for him.

    Greenie: Peter is dealt 5[img]s.gif[/img] 10[img]c.gif[/img] and for some unknown reason calls. He must be hitting the wine like Nicole is.

    Zhora: Actually I saw him drinking beer earlier. But now that you mention it, a nice glass of merlot sounds great. Hey, where’s that gold lamee waitress at? Is she still in the Loser’s Lounge flirting with Hank?

    Greenie: Where!? She better not be around my Hank! Oh I better get back to the game. Nicole also has a crappy hand with 10[img]h.gif[/img] 4[img]c.gif[/img] and calls. Should be an interesting hand. The Flop comes down 4[img]s.gif[/img] 10[img]d.gif[/img] 6[img]d.gif[/img] giving Nicole two pair and Peter the high pair. Nicole aggressively bets $6,000 and foolishly Peter calls. The Turn brings 8[img]h.gif[/img] giving nothing to either player. Nicole again bets $4,000 sucking Peter in and he calls. I’m loving how she’s sucking him in! Men seem to never expect this from a woman at the poker table. The River comes 2[img]h.gif[/img] giving Nicole the hand. Nicole bets again with $2,000. Peter must think she’s bluffing because he calls all in. Nicole tries to soften the blow by telling Peter “You’re very handsome” as she calls him. Both flip their cards over and Peter sees her two pair. Nicole has come from behind to win this whole thing! What a great comeback just like last week. The wonders of alcohol. . . . As Kevin presents Nicole with the silver chip for the final round, he reminds her that she was the odds-on favorite to be the first one in the Loser’s Lounge. Nicole responds, “It’s embarrassing. It’s embarrassing for the game of poker”. Like I said earlier, I think she played the dumb blonde act a little too much, but I have to admit she played some great poker at the end. Kevin bids us good night with the parting words “It’s not the size of your stack, it’s how you play them”. Ahhh, nothing like a phallic reference to end the show. On that note I’ll bid you good night, Zhora.

    Zhora:…And a fond farewell to you dear Greenie. It’s not how well you play with your chips, it’s how you convince others to give you some of theirs. Hmmm…that didn’t come out like I planned. I’ll have to work on my phallic references for next week. Join us then for another rousing episode of Celebrity Poker Showdown. Guests will include Sarah Silverman, Coolio (God no, not Coolio. Isn’t this something like his 16th “game show” appearance?), Paul Rudd, Shannon Elizabeth, and Ron Livingston.
    Last edited by Zhora; 12-18-2003 at 08:29 PM.

  2. #2
    Starbucks is your friend Bill's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Fantastic recap ladies!
    "George Oscar Bluth II, aka GOB, featured magician in the best selling videotape, "Girls With Low Self Esteem" invites you to enter his world.
    -- Arrested Development, Season III

  3. #3
    Thanks Bill.

    Now if we could just hear from our other 2 readers we'll be all set.

  4. #4
    I was trying to figure out who won... in the episode spoilers thread, no one was posting... after Hank was out, everyone else left with him I guess. I don't understand poker, and I don't get this channel up here in Canada, but I have loved Nicole Sullivan since her days of MadTV, so I was cheering for her... thanks Zhora and Greenie.

  5. #5
    The race is back! John's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    On the mat
    I read it, ladies! I love the recaps. I just don't always post

    (bad, bad John!)

  6. #6
    Nerds Just Wanna Have Fun Boredom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Where Ricky Martin Can't Find Me
    Bored read it, and bored loved it.

    Greenie: Hank is excited by all these bets and remarks, “My nipples are hard!” Well it’s certainly nice to see that it doesn’t take much to get him excited.

    Zhora: Gosh, I wonder what kind of physical response he would have to 3 Aces on the Flop.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    ^^Yeah, that one was great!
    Great recap again!

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