+ Reply to Thread
Page 2 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 38

Thread: Chris Brown/Rihanna situation

  1. #11
    FORT Fogey KeepItReal's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    2,488

    Re: Chris Brown/Rihanna scuffle

    They both need help. There was an article in today's paper with Oprah warning Rihanna that he will do it again, and with some DA comparing him to OJ Simpson. The thing is, the young man needs counseling. He's the lowest of the low right now, but doesn't have to remain that way. Hopefully he can change, and hopefully he will. Sure I think Rihanna should leave him, but sadly, most abused women take it for quite some time before they go. Not to mention that it has been reported that she's been very loose with her hands in the past. If that is true then she needs help as well, and it would explain why she's not thinking of leaving. She obviously believes herself that violence is a solution if she's taken swings at him. It's just all too sick really, and they both need help, or even if she leaves she will run into another abuser, and he will just find another woman to abuse.

    ETA-I doubt if this is the first incident. These things don't usually start out with the type of beating that was described here. Hopefully someone will convince her that she needs therapy as well.
    Last edited by KeepItReal; 03-09-2009 at 11:38 AM.

  2. #12
    Yoffy lifts a finger... fluff's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    43,485

    Re: Chris Brown/Rihanna scuffle

    I agree that they both need help.
    I hear Rihanna can be pretty handy with her mitts, but even if she belted him first his response was clearly to use more force than necessary to protect himself.

    Unfortunately many women endure physical abuse at the hands of their spouses for years.
    None of the reasons these women cite for remaining with the men anyway apply to Rihanna.
    She isn't financailly dependent on her abuser and doesn't have children with him.
    Aside from the fact she probably foolishly thinks she loves him there's no reason for her not to back the hell out of this relationship.
    "That's Numberwang!"

  3. #13
    FORT Fogey brunette trixie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    1,440

    Re: Chris Brown/Rihanna scuffle

    Low self-esteem affects you the same way whether you are rich or poor.

  4. #14
    Over and Out! Bunny555's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    3,368

    Re: Chris Brown/Rihanna scuffle

    Quote Originally Posted by brunette trixie;3380467;
    Low self-esteem affects you the same way whether you are rich or poor.
    True but when they have the means to leave it makes it so much harder to understand why they go back. One of my friends was beaten by her husband to within an inch of her life 25 years ago. It was a case that made national headlines and was even made into a TV movie. She had a young son and no way out when the beatings first occured. I just can't wrap my mind around the reasoning behind a young woman who has so much going for her willingly going back for more.

  5. #15
    RESIDENT JEDI MASTER Stargazer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    On a Rocky Mountain High
    Age
    38
    Posts
    11,928

    Re: Chris Brown/Rihanna scuffle

    It sounds as if she's been abusive herself in the past if rumors are to be trusted. If that's the case, then it would seem "normal" to her to deal with conflict resolution through violence. Hopefully they are both seeking therapy to understand that its not okay for either of them to raise their hands to each other.

    Even if she hasn't been abusive herself in the past, though, a victim of abuse rarely understands that they are being abused. They see each incident as a separate thing and aren't able to see the cycle of abuse that they are caught up in. As unbelievable as it sounds to us, to someone who has had their perception of reality warped by abuse, its hard to even know that they are being "abused" because it normally happens so gradually. If someone beat the snot out of their girlfriend on the first date, the girl would run to the cops and have him arrested. It doesn't happen that way, though. It starts small and builds to something more dangerous over time. In a way that is so gradual that the woman (or man in rare cases) is essentially brainwashed into believing that its acceptable behavior.
    "Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter."- Yoda

    "I'll just see where Providence takes me and try to look like I got there confidently." - Craig Ferguson

  6. #16
    FORT Fogey Miss Scarlet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    3,638

    Re: Chris Brown/Rihanna scuffle

    Quote Originally Posted by famita;3375990;
    If Rihanna went back to Chris, that's their business. I wouldn't have. If she gets hurt again, it's her own fault.
    WRONG!
    As someone who was in an abusive marriage (long out now) I just couldn't let this one pass.
    Going back and/or getting hurt again is her own stupidity, but NOT HER FAULT!
    Please don't put the blame on the victim. She may have made some bad decisions, but she didn't make or cause him to pulverize her mercilessly.

    She needs strong counseling & support. She doesn't need anyone saying it's her fault. That only makes it harder for her.

    Sorry for getting upset, but this one is just too close to home for me.

  7. #17
    FORT Fogey norealityhere's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    8,146

    Re: Chris Brown/Rihanna scuffle

    Quote Originally Posted by Miss Scarlet;3383394;
    WRONG!
    As someone who was in an abusive marriage (long out now) I just couldn't let this one pass.
    Going back and/or getting hurt again is her own stupidity, but NOT HER FAULT!
    Please don't put the blame on the victim. She may have made some bad decisions, but she didn't make or cause him to pulverize her mercilessly.

    She needs strong counseling & support. She doesn't need anyone saying it's her fault. That only makes it harder for her.

    Sorry for getting upset, but this one is just too close to home for me.
    THank you for your thoughtful and earnest post. Until we stop victimizing the victim, this problem will continue.
    To Thine Own Self Be True

  8. #18
    FORT Regular guttergal's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    California
    Posts
    103

    Re: Chris Brown/Rihanna scuffle

    Have there been any interviews or contact with her parents? I am very courious to hear what they have to say.

  9. #19
    Being VIP Yardgnome's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Harnessing my evil for good.
    Posts
    5,472

    Re: Chris Brown/Rihanna scuffle

    Quote Originally Posted by Miss Scarlet;3383394;
    WRONG!
    As someone who was in an abusive marriage (long out now) I just couldn't let this one pass.
    Going back and/or getting hurt again is her own stupidity, but NOT HER FAULT!
    Please don't put the blame on the victim. She may have made some bad decisions, but she didn't make or cause him to pulverize her mercilessly.

    She needs strong counseling & support. She doesn't need anyone saying it's her fault. That only makes it harder for her.

    Sorry for getting upset, but this one is just too close to home for me.
    I agree 100% with this. We have been discussing this case in my Defending Battered Women class and following his charges and what his defense and hers are doing. Most people don't think women of wealth or higher class stature can be the victims of domestic violence, but sadly they are the cases that are most often unreported. Domestic violence is a horrible cycle and there is not much you can do for the woman but support them and hope that they leave. It's a complicated situation that most of us can never understand because we have never been in the same situation. I would definitely hope that as a society we can see that it's never the victims fault. It's easy to be an outsider and say she should just leave but it's more complicated than that.

    I hope she does leave him and he gets help in this situation. It's a sad story, but hopefully it will show kids and adults that it's never ok for a loved one to hit them.

  10. #20
    addicted MamaC's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    NY
    Age
    59
    Posts
    2,499

    Re: Chris Brown/Rihanna scuffle

    Remember Ike and Tina Turner? I never knew about the domestic violence in that relationship until years after the fact.

+ Reply to Thread
Page 2 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.