Mind control in domestic situations? SURE it exists. If it didn't, then I don't think we'd be discussing this subject now, or ever.
And I'm TOTALLY right there with you when you point out that to compare those that stand up for themselves eventually and act on their own behalf --- versus those that never do --- is akin to comparing apples and oranges.
EVERYBODY is different.
Example: In my family, NO FEMALE WAS EVER RAISED OR TAUGHT TO TAKE/PUT UP WITH HAVING ANY MAN PUT HIS HANDS ON HER NEGATIVELY, FOR ANY REASON. One endured it for a long time (years, actually), then snapped and handled her business. She never had a hand laid on her after that. She's lucky that SOB didn't kill her before she snapped. The other, out of a clear blue sky, with NO prior warning, suddenly found herself pinned to a wall one day. Long story short, she unpinned herself and went to town. IMMEDIATELY. Right then, right when it happened, at the scene of the crime.
Nope, it never happened again. And SHE never had a hand laid on/so much as raised to her by this idiot, ever again, either.
What I found (and STILL find) fascinating is that two women that were raised and taught in the same manner by the same people could react SO differently when it came to being physically abused.
Again, EVERYBODY, EVERY person --- even if they come from the same family and are raised in the same manner by the same people--- is different, obviously.
About the quote from Roosevelt that resonated with me regarding this subject . . .
I didn't perceive the word "inferior" as used in that quote to mean/say that the abused individual was being called out/judged by anyone outside of their situation as actually being inferior. The way I took it was that if YOU think or feel that you're "damaged goods", "less than" others, "inferior" (if you will) to others, that is an assessment YOU hold of yourself that can and DOES read to others OUTSIDE of you. And if that assessment of yourself is sensed/picked up on by equally-damaged, predatory people OUTSIDE of you, they'll take it, run with it, and use it (physically, mentally and emotionally, financially, etc.) to make THEMSELVES feel "superior" to you. "More than" you. "Better" than you.
And as long as you hold a low, "inferior" view of yourself, these predators will keep abusing you left, right and center, because to do so is what THEY get off on. What THEY use to make THEMSELVES have some sense of worth. Some "power". An "identity". Oh, they most likely won't do it on their job, or in other social situations, because that mental game-playing and physical insanity will NOT be tolerated in those venues. But, at "home", in private, in a "relationship" setting, they'll ride the horse that's given to them.
In an abuse situation, to me, the person being abused feels badly about him/herself, in some fashion. Inferior to whoever it is that they've hooked up with. And that just opens the door for the abuser, the "fun" starts, and continues until the one who's being abused gets a sense of self-worth and ends the foolishness.
Or winds up dead.
Just some thoughts, ideas and observations.
I am with you on that one! :up :yeahthat I don't know how sane you can be to return to somebody who has torn you up like that. It just makes no real sense.
I've been down that road, primarily verbal/mental moreso than physical. I knew full well that it was wrong & undeserved. Abused women aren't naive. But in the end it's a choice, made by the victim, to stay or go back. Why they do is only known to them.
Personally the reason I stayed was fear that I couldn't take care of myself financially alone. This had been drilled into my brain for many years. I wasn't working so I was completely financially dependant.
Supposedly I was incompetant, stupid, worthless & pathetic. I'd never be able to get a job & if I did they'd get rid of me as soon as they found out how stupid & incompetant I was. Even the legal system would give him the children because they'd see it too. Plus he could support them financially.
The thing is, once I was out I was OUT. No second guessing, no regrets, no running to another man to bail me out. I wasn't about to trade one dependance for another.
The thing I can't understand about Rhianna is that she doesn't have the dependance I had. She's an accomplished woman, well regarded in her field & well able to take care of & run her own life. She doesn't NEED him. Not in any stretch of the immagination.
You can't help someone who doesn't want help or want to help themselves. Nothing can be done until SHE decides it needs to be done.
Even if all h*** breaks loose again, & it will, I will still feel sympathy for her & hope for her realization that she needs to cut the jerk out of her life completely for her own safety & her own future. But until then we just sit back & wait.
Lets just hope that they don't bring any children into this relationship.
Miss Scarlett, sounds like somebody got into your head and seriously went to work on dismantling who you started out being. The great part is that you decided to define who you were, instead of letting HIM define whom you were and S-A-V-E-D Y-O-U-R-S-E-L-F.....in spite of his attempts! YOU GO, GIRL!!!! You are one to be admired! :clap:clap:clap
I always worry about women who decide to let a man convince them not to earn their own money.
If something sounds too good to be true, it probably is.:nod:nod