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Thread: Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes

  1. #1061
    Fool... but no pity. Krom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MsFroggy View Post
    Finally the miracle kid who had to have the longest gestation known to man is born. Praise Xenu!!!
    You aren't supposed to praise Xenu, you are supposed to fear him. He's not the Scientology god, he's the alien warlord who most recently mind controlled the human race (among legions of other aliens who have done so, using things like Space flying DC-8s). He took billions of people, stacked them next to volcanos, which he blew up with H-bombs. He then scooped up their souls (er, I mean Thetans) with those DC-8s and then brainwashed them by making them watch 3D movies (presumably starring Tom Cruise and John Travolta). The billions of souls got all bent up and brainwashed and then settled back to earth in nice clumps, which then got stuck on the bodies of the few living human sheep which hadn't got all blowed up. You, and all of us who haven't paid the Scientologists for expensive classes and secret documents, apparently have lots of these extra brainwashed thetan things still stuck to your own soul, and you need help getting them unstuck so you aren't brainwashed anymore. There's also something in there about Xenu using psychiatrists to help make the brainwashing movies, or something like that. And I think the silent birth thing is supposed to ensure that as few extra thetans are stuck to your kid as possible when he or she is born. I think. It's all very confusing.

    You know that exploding volcano that appears on the cover of that Dianetics book you may recall seeing gathering dust at a lot of bookstores 15 or 20 years ago? Yeah. It came from this Xenu/H-bombing the people and the volcanos story.

    Apparently since Xenu is mocked so much by the general public, the Scientologists are now claiming it's less important in their mythology than they used to claim (it used to be one of the "truths" they only revealed to the highest and most paying members). Now they rely more on stuff that they claim happened "4 quadrillion years ago" for their big secrets, because Xenu is far from the only alien to brainwash our Thetans.

    Anyway, in summary: Xenu bad! I'm sure the kid has already been told this, while mommy Katie tries to fight off whatever they've been drugging her with to make her so spacey and not cart the kid the hell out of there.
    Last edited by Krom; 04-18-2006 at 10:46 PM.

    "You don't rehearse Mr. T, you just turn him loose."
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  2. #1062
    Shark Week! dagwood's Avatar
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    Katie, grab the baby and run far and fast. I know you can't run too fast but I'm sure Brookes people will help you. Run, honey, run fast and far while Tom is still munching on the placenta...he is distracted run.
    He who laughs last thinks slowest

    Maybe we should chug on over to namby pamby land where we can find some self confidence for you, you jackwagon!

  3. #1063
    Caged Maveno's Avatar
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    {looking at Krom very enthralled} Now THAT'S religion baby!!!
    All things beautiful do not have to be full of color to be noticed; in
    life that which is unnoticed has the most power.

  4. #1064
    Anarchist AJane's Avatar
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    I just hope that Brooke cussed and screamed loud enough so that Tom could hear her in Katie's delivery room.

    Guess Tom won't be calling her to set up any playdates, huh?
    All my life, I have felt destiny tugging at my sleeve.~ Thursday Next
    I don't want to "go with the flow". The flow just washes you down the drain. I want to fight the flow.- Henry Rollins
    All this spiritual talk is great and everything...but at the end of the day, there's nothing like a pair of skinny jeans. - Jillian Michaels

  5. #1065
    Peace MsFroggy's Avatar
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    Ok, Krom, no praising of big bad Xenu . Who makes DC-8 planes? I mean they have to be the company with the longest track record on the planet, what with those gazillion years of history behind them... or is that another planet?
    "Feel the sky blanket you/ With gems and rhinestones/ See the path cut by the moon/ For you to walk on" - EV

  6. #1066
    Shark Week! dagwood's Avatar
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    Something just clicked with me. I was leaving Walmart Saturday and there was a table set up out front with free "stress tests". They had those funky metal rod thingies you hang on to and they "test" you. The Dianetics book was right on the table. Those freaks tried to get my daughter to do it...she is only 8. I wouldn't let her. I said she didn't have any stress and the lady winked at me and said "you'd be surprised". What in the hell are they doing trying to recruit 8 year olds. If it had clicked I would have given the old hag a piece of my mind.

    Ok...back on track...Run Katie and Suri, Run!
    He who laughs last thinks slowest

    Maybe we should chug on over to namby pamby land where we can find some self confidence for you, you jackwagon!

  7. #1067
    FORT Fogey canadian_angel's Avatar
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    And Tom has a big press conference tomorrow already planned for MI3... wonder what will be the topic of conversation for that....

    I'm such a cynic.
    Last edited by canadian_angel; 04-18-2006 at 11:57 PM.

  8. #1068
    Amethyst YetiSports7 - Snowboard FreeRide Champion Amy Lee's Avatar
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    I imagine that Brooke was immensely quiet seeing as she was allowed epidural/morphine while subservient katie wasn't allowed any. See, they have some nervew demanding that the women be silent seeing as they're in extreme amounts of pain that isn't about to subside and also isn't being offset by some sort of drug.
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  9. #1069
    Obama '08! Callie's Avatar
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    Being scared to death of narcotics and anesthetics, I wouldn't do an epidural or morphine during pregnancy. I don't think it's necessary. Billions upon billions upon billions have women have given birth since the beginning of time without anesthetics. I could do without...

    BUT, a silent birth? Gimme a break! The body has nerves for a reason! When you're in pain, you scream and let it out. There's no way a silent birth can be healthy. Keeping that pain inside, and tightening up your muscles and bones and tissues... that's a sure way to lead to some cardiac troubles, let alone hypertension which could lead to a stroke.

    This poor baby... it's gonna be the Paris Hilton of babies. It's gonna be pimped out so much for publicity and attention for Tom, it's more of a merchandise than a child

  10. #1070
    On a cupcake mission! Lois Lane's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Callie View Post
    Being scared to death of narcotics and anesthetics, I wouldn't do an epidural or morphine during pregnancy. I don't think it's necessary. Billions upon billions upon billions have women have given birth since the beginning of time without anesthetics. I could do without...
    People also used to get their teeth yanked out and had rudimentary surgery without any anesthetics. But that doesn't mean it's the better option. I think it's great when women have completely natural childbirth with no pain reliever IF that's their choice. But as long as the doc says there'll be no harm to the baby or the mom, I see nothing wrong with alleviating some of that pain and taking advantage of modern technology.

    BTW, I also use the microwave, oven and stove rather than building myself a campfire--something billions and billions of people used to have to rely on to cook their meals--and then I throw my dishes in the dishwasher instead of washing them by hand. You get my point. :-)

    Callie, you're a rock star. Me? I'm a wimp who HATES PAIN and likes comfort!!!

    I hope Katie got what she wanted out of this, whether it was a silent birth (hey, maybe she bought into that whole thing!) or a scream fest with an epidural.

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