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Thread: 8/14 Recap – Semper Fi… Gimme Some Pie

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    Bitten Critical's Avatar
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    8/14 Recap – Semper Fi… Gimme Some Pie

    If you’ve been checking this forum for info about a new episode, then you’ve been waiting a while. Yep – last week, VH1 faked us out and instead of a shiny, brand new episode, we got a repeat of the first episode. If this is some sort of programming tool to hook in more viewers, then someone will have to explain that theory. It’s not like this show is so complicated and you need to help viewers “catch up.” It’s just fat C-list celebs (I know – in some cases I’m being generous) trying to be not-so fat. Sounds exciting, huh? Why are we watching this show again? Oh yeah, I remember: fat celebrities.

    Getting Down and Dirty
    This week’s Fit Camp is on Harvey’s turf. The celebs travel to Camp Pendleton to go through a day-long boot camp with Harvey and some Marine drill sergeants. Each team is outfitted in camouflage: red for Jackée’s team and blue for Gary’s. I’m not usually a fan of camo, but dang, those are cute. Harvey and his henchmen put the celebs through their paces. Up first is an obstacle course. They run, climb over and under obstacles and even shimmy along a log. Of course, everything is either dirty or muddy, just to up the humiliation factor. As Wendy begins crossing the log, she sees a lizard, screams and falls off. Good times. As the drill sergeants scream, Victoria observes that they sound like a lot of Garys. Really though, Gary makes less sense. Once again, Toccara shows that she is the athlete to beat at Fit Camp – she easily gets through the obstacle course.

    Next up is the bayonet course. The celebs will have to crawl under and over obstacles and slog through water, all while carrying a bayonet and stabbing at random dummies suspended throughout the course. Finally, they have to cross a rope bridge and make a short run to the finish line. The total points for this challenge? 63 – a nice even number. The ladies go first and Toccara gets through the course with a perfect score. With all four ladies through, the red team is ahead by 5 points. If you’ve watched the show before, you know that the red team is often ahead at this point in the challenge, only to have the blue to team smack them down and take the fabulous prize.

    The guys make their way through the bayonet course and we see Gary fall and grab his knee. He’s mentioned his old football injuries before and this time his knee has popped out of joint. Yeah, I know – ew. He manages to crawl over the finish line. Next up is Jani who, like Toccara, gets a perfect score. Talk about a turnaround. Bringing up the rear is Phil. He only has to complete the rope bridge for his team to win. This might not seem like a big deal, but Phil is a large guy. If he leans too much to either side, he’s going down. Phil crosses the rope bridge like he’s walking a tightrope in slow motion but he finally gets across. The red team wins with 206 points, to the blue team’s 186 points. (I know – not really any footage of Willie. I'm sure his ego took a hit over that one)

    Jackée is elated! Her team has finally won a challenge. Their prize package includes a Schwinn mountain bike and a pair of Silhouette sunglasses. Sweet.

    Un-Popularity Contest
    It’s Day 62 of Celebrity Fit Club and this week’s weigh-in has something new in store for the celebs. This week, each team will select a member of their team to leave and join the opposing team. Host Ant tells them that they cannot vote for themselves. Gary’s team votes first. Gary casts his vote for Wendy, saying that he and Wendy don’t communicate well and he thinks she might be happier on the other team. Wendy turns around and votes for Gary, which seems logical. Next up are Willie and Victoria, who also vote for Gary. It’s like the reality TV version of an impeachment.

    Jackée’s team votes next and Jackée votes for Toccara to leave, as does Jani. I guess Jani didn’t enjoy the video of Toccara’s pole dancing class as much as I thought. Both Jani and Jackée say that they voted for Toccara because she seems happy with her weight already and they aren’t sure how much more weight she will lose. Phil and Toccara both vote for Jani, based on his performance prior to this week. Because it’s a tie, the team captain must decide who leaves. Jackée says that Toccara is out. Toccara sashays across to aisle to join her new team and Gary takes his seat between Phil and Jani. Let me just say that Jackée got the way better trade. Gary may be a nutjob, but men do tend to lose weight faster than women. Willie’s going to have his hands full with all those girls.

    Weigh-in results
    Note: Because the next scheduled weigh-in is only one week away (vs. the usual two weeks), the target weight loss goals given to the celebs this week will be a little lower than usual.

    Crunch-O-Matics
    Toccara
    After having been voted off her own team, it’s obvious that Toccara is very emotional. She tells the judges that she’s pissed off, but after a little prodding from Dr. Linda, she admits that she’s hurt and starts to cry. She then turns and walks out. New teammate Willie follows, as does Dr. Linda. They finally talk her into coming back to the weigh-in. Toccara sobs almost uncontrollably as she tells the judges how upset she is. It went on and on and man, it was an ugly cry. I only got every few words, but basically she’s upset because she feels like she gave her all at each of the challenges and showed how much she wants to be there. Harvey tells her that she is a strong person and that she shouldn’t take her former teammates’ comments as negative.
    Weight: 189 lbs (height: 5’9”)
    Target for this week: 5 lbs
    Weight loss: 3 lbs
    Weight loss goal for the next weigh-in: 2 lbs

    Victoria
    This week, Dr. Linda and Victoria met with Victoria’s parents to discuss her weight issues and the role her father, in particular, played in Victoria’s body image problems. While both of her parents were present, we only heard from her father. Victoria’s mother sat there like a statue. Dr. Linda asks Victoria’s father how he remembers Victoria. His answer? “Eating cookies.” OUCH. They discuss his criticism of Victoria’s weight and he explains that he just wanted her to win and that if you win, you’re happy. Brilliant theory. Next we get a montage of him looking at photos of his daughter as a young girl and a teenager as he makes comments about his daughter being the biggest one and how she kept getting fatter. Let me just say that in none of these pictures does Victoria look like anything other than a pretty, wholesome girl. He denies ever having told her she was fat but, when Victoria confronts him about it, he does admit that he called her “inferior.” Man, that’s harsh. He says that he was only trying to help motivate her and meant those comments in a joking manner. Victoria tells us what we already guessed: her father just does not get it.
    Back at the weigh-in, Dr. Linda asks Victoria is she feels the talk with her father was helpful. I’m guessing that no, it wasn’t helpful. Dr. Linda does point out that her father says that he was joking and asks Victoria what she grew up to be. Victoria answers, “A comedian…. on a fat show.” Interesting connection there, Doc.
    Harvey tells Victoria that he looked over her exercise journal and, even though she said she worked really hard, she may not be working out enough.
    Weight: 155 lbs (height: 5’5”)
    Target for this week: 4 lbs
    Weight loss: 2 lbs
    Weight loss goal for the next weigh-in: 3 lbs

    Willie
    After the fireworks between Willie and Harvey at last week’s weigh-in, it’s anyone’s guess as to how this weigh-in will go. I’m sort of hoping that Harvey will body slam Willie into the next zip code and make him cry like a little girl. No such luck. Willie and Harvey are going to try to bury the hatchet... and not in each other. They schedule a training session at World Gym as a way to start making some peace. Harvey is at the gym at 6 a.m. waiting for Willie… and waiting… and waiting. He finally calls Willie up. Oh yeah, he’s really busy with work and he can’t make it. There’s nothing he can do about it. Blah blah blah. Ever heard of a phone, Willie? I half expect Harvey to get in a car, drive over to Willie’s and give him an old-fashioned whoopin’. Alas, he just lifts some weights and snarls a lot. Harvey says that he is sick of Willie’s excuses. That makes two of us, Harvey.
    At the weigh-in, Dr. Ian asks Willie why he thinks he only lost 3 pounds. Willie says that he doesn’t know. Really? Do you really not know? He then says that he was able to re-prioritize and push back some work deadlines that were causing him to work until 5 a.m..
    He says that he took Harvey’s advice and respects him as a man and as (get this) a friend. Willie walks back to his chair as the janitor comes out with a shovel.
    Weight: 173 lbs (height: 5’5”)
    Target for this week: 7 lbs
    Weight loss: 3 lbs
    Weight loss goal for the next weigh-in: 3 lbs

    Wendy
    Wendy tells the judges that she has been working hard and taking boxing class. Dr. Ian asks her what she had for dinner the night before. Wendy admits that she ate some popcorn in the hotel room and went to sleep. She knows that wasn’t the best thing to eat. Then Ant calls out “What about the blueberry loaf!?” She says that she only had a “taste” of it. I call b.s.
    Harvey tells her that this is all about the numbers and she isn’t making hers. He gives her next week’s weight-loss goal and says that, if she doesn’t make it, he’ll “snap” her ass. I’m not sure what that entails, but I know I wouldn’t want to find out.
    Weight: 210 lbs (height: 5’2”)
    Target for this week: 5 lbs
    Weight loss: 4 lbs
    Weight loss goal for the next weigh-in: 2 lbs

    Sizzling Soul and White Ice
    Jackée
    Jackée tells the judges that she is feeling blue over voting Toccara off the team. She says that she hated to hurt Toccara’s feelings. Her heart would have kept Toccara on the team, but her pocketbook needs to win. Apparently, everyone’s a big, emotional mess this week, because Jackée starts to cry now too. Again with the ugly cry. Sorry Toccara – she loves you, but she loves money more. That’s not exactly what she said, but that’s the subtext. She actually said something like “I had to let you go so you could fly on your own.” Whatever. At least she didn’t sing “Wind Beneath My Wings.”
    Weight: 180 lbs (height: 5’7”)
    Target for this week: 6 lbs
    Weight loss: 6 lb
    Weight loss goal for the next weigh-in: 3 lbs

    Gary
    Well, this is a first in Celebrity Fit Club history! Gary has met not only his weight loss goal for this weigh-in, but he’s met his weight loss goal for the show! Now that he’s gotten to his goal weight, all Gary really has to do is maintain the weight loss and maybe do some toning. He thanks his new team for accepting him… not that they had a choice. Everyone on Gary’s new team laughs. It’s not a “he’s so funny” laugh – it’s more like a “laugh at the crazy guy or he’ll kill us” laugh.
    Weight: 179 lbs (height: 6’)
    Target for this week: 5 lbs
    Weight loss: 5 lbs
    Weight loss goal for the next weigh-in: none!

    Jani
    This week, Jani is a new man. He says that he joined a gym and is now more than one week sober. He has also quit smoking. He says that he went through a really tough 72 hour detox for the alcohol and cigarettes. He is also running every day and has met with a trainer. Instead of his usual pasty look, Jani’s skin is a nice healthy color and his face is much thinner. Dr. Linda tells Jani that she has confidence in him and knows that he can lose weight. Harvey says that, even though Jani didn’t meet his goal this week, he looks great and has overcome some major hurdles.
    Weight: 180 lbs (height: 6’)
    Target for this week: 5
    Weight loss: 2 lbs
    Weight loss goal for the next weigh-in: 2

    Phil
    As Phil stands on the scale, Dr. Ian tells him that this is the first week that Phil’s shirt covered his stomach as he sat in his chair during the weigh-in ceremony. His weight loss is really starting to show, particularly in his face. Phil tells Harvey that the Fit Camp with the Marines really helped to motivate him. He now wants to look like them. Harvey says that he has a long way to go, but he can do it. I know I’m not supposed to be so sappy, but I love Phil. He’s got such a great attitude. I just want to give him a big hug. [/un-snarkiness]
    Weight: 327 lbs (height: 5’11”)
    Target for this week: 6 lbs
    Weight loss: 5 lbs
    Weight loss goal for the next weigh-in: 3 lbs

    Team weigh-in: On to the giant scales! Ant reminds the teams that, even though Gary and Toccara have changed places, the pounds they lost prior to the switch will stay with their old teams. The scales have been recalibrated to accommodate the change. This week’s winner is Jackée’s team, with 18 pounds lost vs. the Crunch-O-Matics, who lost only 12 pounds.

    Next week: Tension develops between Jackée and Gary (big surprise, right?), Wendy and Toccara get colonics and Wendy is full of excuses at the weigh-in. Also, it’s a high-flying Fit Camp featuring trapezes and Phil dressed like a big, gay, sequined Oompa Loompa.

    Critical@fansofrealitytv.com is wondering where red camouflage works.. the buffet maybe?
    Last edited by Critical; 08-16-2005 at 10:56 PM.
    Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that 'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.' - Isaac Asimov

    I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, who said, "... I drank what?"

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    Premium Member dagwood's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Critical
    Dr. Linda asks Victoria’s father how he remembers Victoria. His answer? “Eating cookies.” OUCH. They discuss his criticism of Victoria’s weight and he explains that he just wanted her to win and that if you win, you’re happy. Brilliant theory. Next we get a montage of him looking at photos of his daughter as a young girl and a teenager as he makes comments about his daughter being the biggest one and how she kept getting fatter. Let me just say that in none of these pictures does Victoria look like anything other than a pretty, wholesome girl. He denies ever having told her she was fat but, when Victoria confronts him about it, he does admit that he called her “inferior.” Man, that’s harsh. He says that he was only trying to help motivate her and meant those comments in a joking manner.
    With a dad like that, who needs enemies?

    Quote Originally Posted by Critical

    He says that he took Harvey’s advice and respects him as a man and as (get this) a friend. Willie walks back to his chair as the janitor comes out with a shovel.

    She actually said something like “I had to let you go so you could fly on your own.” Whatever. At least she didn’t sing “Wind Beneath My Wings.”

    He thanks his new team for accepting him… not that they had a choice. Everyone on Gary’s new team laughs. It’s not a “he’s so funny” laugh – it’s more like a “laugh at the crazy guy or he’ll kill us” laugh.
    Great job, Critical. I love the 'caps.
    He who laughs last thinks slowest

    #oldmanbeatdown - Donny BB16

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    Dont wanna be fatesealed! meeka6's Avatar
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    Wonderful wonderful recap!! I felt so bad for BOTH Tocarra and Victoria. It was really sad to see how TINY she was in the home videos and yet her father would still "joke" around about how shes the "biggest" girl in all the team pictures. Its no wonder she struggles with weight and self esteem issues. Considering how successful and funny she is...you'd think she would have overcome...Perhaps she WILL

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    Read The Clue Bearcata's Avatar
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    I hope Victoria's dad watches this show and realizes what a jerk he was to permamently damage his daughter the way he did. If not at least hope his friends do and then punch him out.

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    Ultimate American Idol RubenIZMyne's Avatar
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    Awesome Recap Critical. I was in tears when Tocarra broke down (I'm such a softie.) I love Tocarra - I can't wait to see how she turns out in the end.

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    FORT Fan ginnydoll's Avatar
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    Did they pick a new captain to replace Gary Busey after he was traded, or did Tocarra automatically get the job?

    Ginny

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    FORT Fan ginnydoll's Avatar
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    In answer to my own question, they voted in Tocarra to be the team leader. I was surprised Willie didn't try for the role.

    Ginny
    Last edited by ginnydoll; 08-26-2005 at 06:33 PM.

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