A new day dawns without Lenny, and Trump’s Apprentice hopefuls are sleeping…heavily. Rona, already employed by Mr. Trumptacular himself, has obviously been up for hours because she’s perfectly coifed, sitting at her desk, calling the loft with their daily instructions. The phone rings several times before a drowsy, disheveled Charmaine shuffles into the room, and answers the phone. Rona tells them when and where to meet Trump.
The teams await Trump’s arrival as he pulls up to the curb. But wait, I notice there’s something different in Trump World…he’s driving his own car? *Gasp* He climbs out of one of those futuristic sports cars where the doors open up toward the sky, and declares Gold Rush a disaster. He asks if anyone from Synergy would like to switch teams to help them out, and very quickly, Michael volunteers. Synergy is just as happy to be rid of him, as he is to be rid of them.
You know Lee is thinking, “if I drove that car, I’d look just like Trump!”
This week’s task is to help the convenience store, 7-11, launch a new sandwich called the P'EatZZa, and I now officially hate Burnett, Trump, and 7-11 for making me slow down to a crawl in order to type that. Therefore, from now on the P'EatZZa sandwich will be known simply as The Sandwich, as I am not wasting anymore of my precious time typing that nonsense. In addition to selling The Sandwich, they will also be required to create a promotional give-away item based on the 7-11 Andretti Green racing car. So that’s why Trump pulled up in a sports car, but hey…why wasn’t it green?
Know your customer. Trump’s daddy, was also a builder, studied buildings and those who worked in them, then would design the building based on what people needed and wanted. Trump says know your customer, and it will lead to a good “road” to success. Ah, we’re keeping with the whole racing theme, I see.
The Bitch Is Back
At the 7-11 offices, Synergy meets to discuss their strategy and to sample the goods, which is two pieces of pizza with sandwich toppings in between. Gah! Last week I had to watch them eat truffles and “chicken products,” and now this week they’re eating leftover cold pizza with turkey slices on top. Good thing I still have some Pepto Bismol…excuse me for a minute. *Glug, glug, glug*
Arrogant Andrea volunteers to be PM again, because if it were up to her, she’d be PM for every task. I’d like that, too, because if that were the case, she’d most likely be gone by now, and as far as I’m concerned, the quicker she’s gone, the better.
“U wont believe the idiotic PPL I have on my team, LOL. CUL8R.”
Allie suggests using promotional items such as key chains or cups, but Andrea nixes everything and decides “guys like hats.” She bristles at the thought that some people think she’s a control freak, and tries to convince us that she believes she has a nice life because she’s in control of it. Whatever you say, sister, you won’t find me arguing with you, because I happen to believe you can’t argue with a sick mind. Ahem.
Sean and Allie meet up with Tony Kanaan, a member of the Andretti-Green racing team for the promotional photos, and I’m beginning to suspect there could be something going on between the couple. I’ve noticed over the past few weeks they often sit next to each other, and at times seem to exchange knowing glances. I keep waiting to see if anything is made of it, but so far, no. You can be sure I’ll be keeping my eye on them, though. Say, Sean doesn’t need a green card, does he? By the way, Synergy’s slogan is “tasty food for life in the fast lane.”
You can almost see the love-vibe radiating between these two.
The night before the big day, the team hits the streets with flyers advertising their promotion. As Sean says, they aren’t expecting folks to be deeply excited about it, but if 10% come in the next day due to the flyers, it will be worth their time. As they do this, they discuss pricing, and the decision is made to go with a $4.00/sandwich.
The following morning Andrea, Roxanne and Sean arrive at the store together, and Sean and Roxanne are so excited to see their Tony Kanaan photo on a 7-11 truck, they break into a cheer. Andrea loves the hats they’re giving away, and feels they’ll prompt people to buy The Sandwich. Caroline arrives to check on the team, and doesn’t grasp the connection between the hats and The Sandwich, so she’s not impressed. Quite a few people who were given flyers the night before, return for The Sandwich. Turns out, everyone on the team is great in sales…well, everyone that is, but Andrea. She sucks at it, and Roxanne goes so far to say that if they win the task, it won’t be because they had a really good PM, but because they all worked their tails off.
"Psst, don’t tell Allie, but if you think this thing in my hand is big, you should see what else I’ve got that’s big."
It’s Just Like Looking In A Mirror
Leslie volunteers to be PM for Gold Rush, and they brainstorm. She’s the last one to be PM for this team, and Lee thinks this is disgraceful. Actually, the way I see it, someone had to be last, but Lee predicts if they lose, she’ll be fired. Lee also claims he’s the type of person they’re catering to in this task…that he knows the neighborhood well, and says they should be targeting the college students in the area. Leslie suggests their promotional item should be soft coolers, and sends Lee, Michael and Charmaine to scope out the neighborhood . Once in the 7-11, Lee has the brilliant idea to remove all the other sandwiches during the task, and the store manager agrees. It’s indeed a smart move on Lee’s part, and as he’s patting himself on the back, he seems to think it is a Trump-like brilliant idea.
Leslie and Tarek come up with the concept of a trivia contest as a way of getting pedestrians to stop at their 7-11, instead of simply walking by. They spend what seems to be a great amount of time together thinking of various questions. As the rest of the team joins them, they move on to discuss pricing. It seems late in the evening, and they all look beat, but most of the team members think $7.99/sandwich is reasonable. However, Lee says the night manager thought $6.99/sandwich was a good price for the sandwich and the cooler. Everyone else thinks he’s playing it too safe. Leslie decides one sandwich will cost $7.99, and they’ll charge $8.99/two sandwiches. Lee looks shocked. I’m wondering why they didn’t do a photo shoot with Tony Kanaan. So far I haven’t heard a slogan from them either.
Morning dawns, and half the team is bustling around the store setting up their display, while the other half is outside frantically trying to get pedestrians to stop and sample The Sandwich. Tarek is not having much luck out on the sidewalk, as people blow by without giving him a second look. It’s hilarious when out of desperation he shouts “after eating this sandwich, your life will never be the same. It will completely change your whole concept of reality.” As pompous as that sounds, I’m thinking maybe this guy would make a good Trump employee, hee.
Lee recognizes that the store managers know their customers, and when he overhears two of them saying the price is too high for The Sandwich, he informs his team. Leslie thanks him for the information, but doesn’t take any action to change things, and he’s rebuffed.
Later, Leslie is annoyed because Lee is missing, but he’s off on his own trying to set up a deal for a business owner to buy 1,000 “sammiches.” (Do they have 1,000 sandwiches laying around somewhere?) Again, he compares himself to Trump, and thinks he’s making a “ballsy” move. Leslie and Lee confer and agree for him to offer the $7.99 sandwich for $3.00/ea, because the guy is buying so many. The business owner and Lee haggle back and forth, but in the end the deal falls through. The team is happy with their day, though. They feel Michael fit right in, and they look forward to celebrating Leslie’s birthday the following day with a win.
"Yeah, I’m just like Trump, but enough about me…what kind of panties are you wearing?"
George reports that Gold Rush’s price of $7.99/for one sandwich and $8.99 for two, with the free cooler resulted in an increase of sales for 7-11 of 608%. At hearing this, Andrea reacts with a shocked exhale and a roll of those steely eyes of hers. Caroline states that Synergy’s sandwiches sold for $4.00/sandwich, and $6.00/ for two, with the free hat. Their results were an increase of 997%…they win.
For their reward, Synergy will board a luxurious private plane (is there any other kind?) and fly to Washington, D.C. to meet with Trump’s good friend, New York Senator Chuck Schumer, for breakfast at the historic Hay-Adams Hotel. Synergy is pumped. Gold Rush looks as green as if they’d eaten one too many Sandwiches.
The team meets up with Senator Schumer, and he takes them to the presidential suite for breakfast. It overlooks the White House and truly is a beautiful place. The Senator’s grandfather and Trump’s father were builders together in Brooklyn, so these two boys go waaaay back. I know nothing about his politics, but he seems to be a delightful man. His test for life: if you wake up Monday morning, and in the pit of your stomach you feel that you want to go to work, you’re in great shape. Roxanne loves this credo, and says she’s going to implement it in her life. Hmmm, I’ve always thought she had a great shot at being The Apprentice, now I have to wonder if her comment was intentionally aired so we’ll know Trump got a “good one.” Therefore, I’m predicting she wins…remember you read that here (unless of course, she’s not the winner…in that case, you won’t remember anything about this, right? Heheh). After breakfast, they walk to the White House. I get my earlier question about Sean’s green card answered…he received it four months ago, and he’s exceptionally touched to be standing in front of the White House. This challenge and reward seems to be an especially bonding experience for the team. The na´ve part of me, hopes it lasts, but the cynic in me guesses it will only last until they lose.
"…and then there’s the time Trump and I toilet-papered Rudy Giuliani’s house. Hooboy, was that fun!"
The suitcases are packed, and the sulking has begun. The team’s record is 6 losses, 2 wins, and Michael says even though he’s on a losing team, at least he fits in. (I’m not sure how to take that comment.) Leslie’s depressed because it’s her birthday…talk about your crummy birthday celebrations..
I noticed during the last episode, that Robin actually got up from behind her desk and walked the team into the boardroom. I was curious about this and wondered if they were going to be giving her more exposure (her legs anyway). But tonight I notice she’s back to a sitting position. Anyway, everyone gathers in the boardroom, and Leslie says she thinks the team did a fantastic job, but thinks Lee was the least effective. She mentions he was off trying to make a “shady deal” which took a lot of his time away from the team. Lee counters if the deal had gone through they would have won. He lets Trump know he overheard the managers saying the sandwiches were overpriced, and that he told Leslie. When Leslie says the entire team picked the price, Carolyn reminds them it’s a 7-11, basically backing up Lee. Although Trump says she should probably bring two people into the boardroom, she foolishly chooses just Lee. (When Trump tells you to bring two people in, you should bring two people in. Is that so difficult?) Before leaving the room, Charmaine opens her fat mouth and says although he didn’t ask for her advice (in that case she should shut up), Leslie should stay and Lee should be fired. Alrighty, then, noted.
More Boardroom Nonsense
Robin once again rises from behind her desk and escorts Lee and Leslie into the boardroom. Leslie begins by touting how well everyone but Lee worked on this task, and Lee reminds her that he was the one who negotiated the store manager to remove all other sandwiches from the shelves. Leslie claims she would have done the same thing, so what’s the big deal (although we’ll never know, will we?). Regarding the deal Lee spent so much time on, Leslie says he would have been a hero had it gone through, but he ended up a zero because it didn’t. The two of them argue back and forth, and frankly I think they are both acting like lunatics, and I refuse to spend my time reiterating their idiocy. However, it’s come to my attention there has been some flack about a dialog between Lee and Trump in the boardroom. Here’s their conversation, and I’ll let you interpret it for yourself:
Lee: Who’s the most price-sensitive people in the market?
Trump: You tell me.
Lee: College students and senior citizens.
Trump: I thought you were going to say something else.
Lee: No. College students and senior citizens, and we’re dealing with college students. The price is so perfect, if you’re pennies off, you could price yourself right out of the market. I’ve learned that from you, Mr. Trump.
Leslie and Lee return to their talkingovereachother fiasco, until Trump finally interrupts and says the concept of Lee’s deal was better than anything anyone else did on the team. He feels Leslie brought Lee in for personal reasons, and says since Leslie refused to lower the price, she’s fired. (I recall Lee predicted she’d be going home, and I wonder if he’s got any tips on horse racing; email me, Lee). Lee and Leslie hug and off she goes. She looks tired, and I wonder if she feels Trump gave her the best birthday gift ever, and she’s happy to be out of there.
"So wait…does this mean I’m not getting a birthday cake?"
Leslie tells us she did what she thought was right, and she’s curious if anyone else has ever been fired on their birthday. She feels someone would have a better chance of winning the lottery, or being struck by lightning than being PM and getting fired on their birthday, and she’s going to buy a lotto ticket….yeah, because today has certainly been her lucky day. If you’ve ever been fired on your birthday, contact me at email@example.com.