Welcome back Trumpsters! Pardon the tardiness of this recap. I partied like a rock star with Bon Jovi Sunday night. Therefore, I had to wait until the ringing in my ears and the pounding in my head subsided before I could deal with Holly as a project manager. You may recall that last week, teams had to create a three-dimensional display for The Wizarding World of Harry Potter, a new attraction at Universal Orlando. Blago was a half-assed project manager at best, Cyndi continued to annoy Holly and Summer but the women pulled off the win and Blago was canned. If you missed it, lucky you…you can read all about it here in AJane’s outstanding recap .
Shut The Funk Up
In the post-boardroom party (minus Blago, of course), teams soaked up the booze and discussed the task. Selita commented that the women are 3-0 on tasks because of they’re cohesive and respectful of each other. This draws a funny look from Sharon who has witnessed first hand their cattiness towards Cyndi. Holly, however, realizes that losing a team member sometimes changes the dynamic of the team so the men may do well in the next task. Foreshadowing perhaps? Of course, it is. Let’s see how it plays out…
Insert obligatory segment of Selita handing over a check to the director of her charity, Shine on Sierra Leone. They gush and cry and hug over what the money will do for the children of Sierra Leone. Not to minimize the importance of the charity; there’s just nothing riveting here to report.
Teams gather on a basketball court to receive the new task and Trump asks Michaels what he thinks about losing Blago. Michael thought it was an easy decision, prompting Trump to call him a nasty guy. Michael quickly points out that’s the reason they get along so well, he and Trump. Sharon isn’t there since she’s been sick as a dog. The time off will hopefully give her time to recover. Cyndi will also be absent from this task. She’ll be in Washington DC with the president as he signs a new hate crime law that Cyndi’s True Colors Foundation had a hand in. So Holly should be happy…no Cyndi to annoy her and no Sharon to put her in her place.
Teams will be working to create a 30 second TV commercial and a 10 second internet commercial to pimp Right Guard’s new product, Total Defense 5. They’ll need to target the young male sports enthusiast and as always, teams will be judged on creativity, brand integration, and overall presentation. George and Ivanka will be Trump’s eyes and ears this time around. Maybe Little Donnie has a hot date…or an appointment to have the oil in his hair so he can keep that nice slick look. Holly volunteers to be project manager for the women and Curtis steps up for the men. Since Right Guard is the official deodorant of the NBA, teams will have a couple of NBA greats working with them…Scottie Pippen and Clyde Drexler. Finally, Trump explains why they’re standing on a basketball court…the first person to sink a basket wins 10 grand for their project manager’s charity. Donald goes first and with ease, he gets nothing but net. Who knew Trump had skills on the court? One by one, the celebrities get a turn and one by one, they all suck. Eventually, Maria steps up in 6 inch stilettos and sinks one for Holly’s charity.
Holly’s vision for the women’s presentation comes to her quickly…the first moments of funk. She wants to start out in a kitchen where a mother realizes her son is “funky.” Their NBA player will appear as the kid’s funky godfather, offering him a stick of Right Guard. The women think it’s clever and hilarious. They love it! Right Guard execs meet with the men first. Curtis asks all of his questions and the guys get a clear picture of what the big wigs want. When the women meet with them, Holly asks about appealing to the moms who will be purchasing the product. They tell her it’s more important to reach the target demographic, young boys. For some reason, Holly still wants to go with her initial idea and target the moms. After all, she knows everything. Curtis asks Bret for ideas. He wants to act it all out and this stresses Curtis who wants to quickly get moving. Finally, Bret gets to the point and they realize his ideas are brilliant.
Scottie Pippen joins Tenacity and Holly fills him in on her ideas. He seems to like them so the women get moving. Maria and Summer head off to the prop shop and the others get busy. Clyde Drexler shows up to work with the men. Michael has known Clyde for years and feels he’s better suited for what they have planned. Curtis has no clue who Drexler is and has to ask Michael what team he played for. Curtis is embarrassed. Cute. Makes me want to pinch his flushing cheeks or give him a hug. Just to make him feel better, of course.
For some reason, Holly
pesterscalls NBA star and Right Guard spokesperson Chris Paul. She thinks if he likes her ideas, she’s on the right track. He laughs…either with them or at them…and she feels they have a winner. Feeling really full of herself, she starts bashing Cyndi to Scottie. What is he, her long lost BFF? She and Selita laugh and ridicule Cyndi who is on the phone at that time. Holly gives her an assignment..write about her son’s first moments of funk. When she hangs up, Holly tells Selita that they’re going to have to help her manage Cyndi. Someone should help her manage her funky attitude. Just sayin. Too bad Sharon isn’t there.
Now That’s Funked Up
Over at Team RockSolid, gets a disturbing text from his daughter. She has some blood sugar issues and will need to be tested for diabetes. As an insulin dependent diabetic, Bret is upset by this news. He gets very emotional discussing his daughter asking him if she’ll have to take shots like he does. So emotional, in fact, that he has to walk away from the camera. Touching to see the big time rock star persona fall away to reveal a big hearted guy hurting for his kid.
The women are limited on time because Scottie has a flight to make. They get to work setting everything up and Holly is wearing Scottie’s Bulls uniform over her clothes. I’m sure she thinks she’s cute but it actually looks very sloppy and just dumb. Not that it matters what she wears...ugly inside=ugly outside.
The men panic when they get into their room. The setting is not appropriate for the scene they want to shoot. Bret has another idea that he thinks will work under the time constraints. Curtis agrees to change ideas midstream. Bret begs him to back the bus over him if the idea fails. Holly has the idea of adding a jingle to their commercial. She finds some background music and adds a catchy, soulful “funky godfather” lyric to it. Selita thinks she’s a genius. Maria and Summer are hot-footing it over from the prop shop. It took longer than they planned to load everything up. Curtis calls Goldberg at the prop shop and tells him they’re changing plans. They’ll need a basketball goal but there isn’t one to be had there. They’d have to go out and buy a goal. Curtis freaks out over the lack of time that they have. He says to forget it and go back to the original plan. Bret thinks it’s a mistake but Curtis makes the call. Bret is also distracted over his daughter’s appointment. He has to keep taking time outs to cry and reset. He apologizes to Curtis and says that if his daughter is diagnosed with diabetes, he would leave the show to go take care of his family.
Maria and Summer arrive with the props and ask everyone to come out to unload. Holly jumps up to help but Selita stays behind to play waitress for Scottie Pippen. Maria thinks it’s messed up that they’re all busting their asses except for Selita. At that time, George arrives to see Selita sitting on her duff. That will come back to bite her. Ivanka drops by to visit the men and Bret greets her at the door. Curtis quickly gives Bret something to do to get him out of the way. He knows that if Bret gets going with her, they’ll waste too much time. Ivanka asks why they haven’t started shooting since they’re short on time. Curtis lies right to her face and tells her they’ve already done two scenes. He figures it’s best to just tell her what she wants to hear. She’s impressed with how calm he is and applauds his sense of direction. I say Curtis gets the nod from Right Guard for that alone.
Insert obligatory Obama footage as he signs the new law.
When she’s finished in DC, Cyndi phones in to tell the team her experience with her son’s “first funk.” Summer has her on speakerphone but puts it down. Cyndi is talking but all of the women are doing their own thing, clearly not paying attention. When she finishes her spiel, Cyndi asks if they’re there and they all tell her what a great job she’s done. Beyotches. Their true colors are shining through. Cyndi is sad she’s missing everything but comments that in the real world, she’d never f***ing work for Holly. The women shoot the first scene with George looking on and are confident since they made him chuckle. Meanwhile, the men shoot their commercial with Clyde, who Is so cooperative that the men just love him. The men wrap up their filming feeling pretty good about what they have. It’s crunch-time with the women, however. Scottie has to leave so they’re rushing through it all.
In the van at the end of day one, Bret breaks down. The pressure over his daughter’s condition is too much for him. He feels responsible and can’t imagine her taking four shots of insulin a day. Curtis and Michael are great and give him a few guy pats to comfort him. Curtis reminds him that he’s there to raise money for that charity so to keep his chim up. Bret thanks them for putting up with him and they end their touchy-feely guy moment. The next morning, Bret is still anxious but trying to stay positive.
Cyndi is back so she sees the women’s commercial for the first time. She likes it but wants to double the funky godfather song. Holly feared Cyndi would want to come in and make changes. She feels Cyndi underestimates her and her abilities. Funny, I think it’s the other way around. Cyndi has more talent in her bleached out hair than Holly will have in her lifetime. In the audio room, the sound tech doubles Holly’s voice. It sounds okay but needs something more. So Cyndi sings it, adds a little soul, and her part is dubbed under Holly’s voice. The others fear she’ll show Holly up or something since she’s in her element but Cyndi does a smash up job of adding texture to the sound. Holly downplays it because it would kill her to give Cyndi any credit.
A Motherfunking Walkoff
The men fine tune their presentation and Curtis has a great idea for their 10 second internet spot. He wants to bring in the outtakes from their shoot. It’s a hit with the other guys. Michael suggests they all tell their personal stories in the presentation so they get it together with time to spare. The women aren’t so relaxed. They’re still crunched for time. Holly decides that rather than do a separate commercial for the internet, they’ll just pull a segment of their TV commercial. She leaves it to Maria and goes to work on her presentation. With 15 minutes to go, Maria asks Holly to come look at the final edit. Holly says no, that she’s sure it’s great. At the last minute, however, she walks in and realizes the timing is off on the audio. There is no time to fix it so Holly is pissed at Maria. Maria asked her to come back and listen but she refused. She says if Holly snaps at her one to many times, she will come back at her. Oh, please do.
RockSolid gives their presentation first. They open with their personal reasons for using Right Guard, all trying to one up the other. It’s cute, and very clever. They roll tape and the execs remain stony-faced while watching. Bret is concerned about the lack of emotion. He’s certain they got their butts kicked.
Holly introduces her Moments of Funk presentation. Cyndi steps up to talk about her son’s first moment of funk when he reached the Big P(puberty) and bumbled her way through it. The women are concerned since it is part of the presentation. The execs do seem entertained with their commercial, however. They laugh at the right moments and Holly thinks they hit this one out of the park.
Before the boardroom showdown, Michael drops a bombshell on Trump. He’s having some personal issues with his son and will be leaving. He doesn’t know how long he’ll be gone but can let Trump know once he gets home. Trump tells him it’s not fair if he’s allowed to return since others will be fired in the meantime. So Michael is out and the men are down to three. In the boardroom, Trump questions Bret about his personal issues so Bret tells him about his daughter. Trump asks if he feels stronger about fighting for his charity now or if he wants to go home. Bret will fight to the end for his charity but if his daughter is really sick, he will leave to take care of her. Trump asks Holly about their task. She mentions that they were a couple of women down which leads Trump to ask if she thinks Sharon is really sick. Holly does and for now Trump says she get a pass. They watch the commercials that each team made. Bret thinks the women have a funny commercial but theirs is better. Goldberg agrees. Cyndi likes theirs and thinks the men’s is not. Trump disagrees. He says the men’s commercial made him laugh. Maria says that their ad was better. Ivanka points out that the men had two separate ads. Trump asks who was responsible for that decision. Holly tells him it was her and he says that could be trouble if they lose. Trump wants to know who did the singing for them. Holly lets him know that it was her with a little Cyndi underneath. Cyndi points out that she knows how to do that sort of thing so she layered the voices in the studio. Trump asks Cyndi to sing it for him. She does, of course, and it eats Holly up. She rolls her eyes while Cyndi belts it out.
Eventually, teams learn that the Right Guard executives thought they both did a fantastic job. They thought the men did well with brand integration but their commercial wasn’t funny enough. On the other hand, the women did a good job with Scottie Pippen and theirs was funny. However, it hurt them by not creating a separate internet commercial. The one they have does not stand alone. That’s Holly’s funk up there. Also, they missed the target demographic by focusing on the mom. Again, Holly’s funk up. Finally, Trump gets down to it…the men won! Curtis will get 20K for his charity, Feeding America. The men feel good about what they’ve done and head off to the war room. Bret saw their win coming because the women had “no resolve to the funk.” Funking a, man.
Trump asks Holly what happened. She says that they did shoot a second video for the internet spot but cut it out. Trump wants to know who had the idea for the jingle. That one is on Holly too, but this was a good decision. The execs loved it. Ivanka points out that Holly is very dominant and possibly a one-woman show as project manager. She disagrees, of course. When asked, Maria says that Selita is the weak link on her team because she was a slacker when they all unloaded the props. George agreed since he saw it all. Selita argues that she did work on other things. Summer is asked who should be fired and she defaults to the two obvious people…the ones who weren’t there. Trump shuts her down and says to leave them alone. He tells Holly to pick two people to come back into the boardroom with her. Holly questions him about Cyndi because she was there for a small part of the task. It’s obvious who Holly wants out. Funking catty bitch that she is. Trump tells her flat out that he will not fire Cyndi, so she can bring her back if she wants to. He also gives Sharon a pass as long as they think she’s really sick. They think she is indeed sick. In that case, Holly says she’ll bring back Selita and Maria. Trump wants to know why Maria so Holly blames her for the audio goof up on the second commercial. Maria argues that she did ask Holly to come look at it and she refused. Cyndi wants to say something but Holly won’t let her. She says Cyndi isn’t even coming back into the boardroom so she should just sit back. They argue a bit and Trump asks if he should fire Holly. Cyndi can’t/won’t say but both Donald and Ivanka observe that there’s no love loss between Cyndi and Holly. He asks Summer who is the weakest and she says Holly is the strongest. She won’t answer his question about the weakest. I’d say that makes her the weakest…Maria is the only one with the cajones to give an honest opinion.
Before the women come back, Ivanka says that Holly is so strong that it’s hard not to fire her, but Selita failed to speak up and really plead her case. George agrees that Selita should fight more. The women come in and Holly says she doesn’t think she should be fired. She finds fault with both women with her…George saw something in Selita that makes her weak and Maria is outspoken with her opinions in the boardroom. Maria doesn’t think it’s fair that she was brought back because she gave Holly two opportunities to go into the editing bay and listen for herself. Holly says Maria was ineffective in the editing room. Maria takes offense so Trump turns the boardroom into a cage match complete with bars, a referee, and beer for the spectators. Maria tosses Holly around the rink like a rag doll, body slams her, and finally bitch slaps her into place. Um…okay, so that’s just me daydreaming. They’re still in the boardroom where Ivanka interrupts their argument to call out Selita for keeping quiet rather than defending herself. Selita does argue that she isn’t weak, she has many great attributes, and blah, blah, blah. George jumps in at that time as well to say that Selita isn’t fighting hard enough. Selita says she would fire Maria for her inability to make sure the editing was done correctly and also for throwing Holly under the bus. I’d like to know why it’s considered throwing Holly under the bus when all she’s doing is giving it to them straight but no one cares what I think. Holly then rehashes the whole editing snafu and ends by saying Maria isn’t a loyal team player. Trump says he doesn’t see the same fight in Selita as he does in Holly and Maria, so Selita is fired. What the funk? Should have been Holly since she’s project manager. The execs didn’t even notice the audio screw-up. It was Holly’s mistakes that hurt the team; but again, no one cares what I think. Bye, bye Selita…now get the funk out.
Next week, Trace Adkins makes an appearance as teams makeover two upcoming country singers. The lovefest is definitely over on Team Tenacity and thankfully, both Cyndi and Sharon are back. Sharon was right about one thing….watching Holly and Summer is like watching ice melt. My partner, AJane,will be filling you in…she’s pretty funking a herself, so don’t miss it!