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Thread: Celebrity Apprentice 3/29 Recap: Please Sir, Don’t Let Him Have Another

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    Mixing Old Fashioneds PhoneGrrrl's Avatar
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    Celebrity Apprentice 3/29 Recap: Please Sir, Don’t Let Him Have Another

    Welcome back to the land of pseudo-celebrities, has-beens, and media whores vying for a non-existent job, with decreasing rewards for their charities. Seriously, the charity money is skewed: two weeks ago, when I last recapped, Brande’s charity received $167,000, then last week, when the men finally pulled out a win, Brian’s charity, Youthful USA, on gets a measly-by-comparison $20,000. If you missed all the drama of the men actually winning, despite the trouble that is Dennis Rodman, check out Iguanachocolate’s hilarious recap here.

    Not in my hotel, you don’t.

    Trump gathers the remaining contestants in front of his Trump International Hotel, for no other reason than he likes to show off big, shiny buildings with his name on them. He tells them that, for the next challenge, the teams will be running a hotel; of course, he’s not letting them run his hotel. He’s found a patsy to take in these folks by the name of Jon Tisch, the CEO of Lowes Hotels. Each team will have five rooms to manage; they will have to cover all aspects of customer service, including housekeeping, concierge service, room service, and anything else that may arise. Ivanka and Jon will be checking in on the teams. This time around Athena is lead by Tionne; Melissa pretty much tells her that she’s been flying under the radar too much and needs to step up. Tionne isn’t going to be called out by someone with more plastic in her face than present a Tupperware party, so she calmly takes the lead. Dennis decides to lead Kotu; the guys have mixed feelings about this choice. On the one hand, they want to show they support Dennis; on the other, they don’t want to lose. Trump likes the choice of Dennis and tells him to kick the women’s asses and not to let him down.

    The teams head to the Lowes Regency; in the van, Dennis throws out all sorts of crazy amenities to offer—drivers, body guards, catering, and who knows what else because I honestly only catch every third word he says. He assigns Jessie to be the bellman and he will take the job of the “frontman.” Who knew that hotels had lead singers? The guys don’t really challenge this move, other than to admonish him that he needs to cut down on the expletives; Dennis says not to worry—he’s very good at that {bleep}.

    At the hotel, both teams get separate whirlwind training on housekeeping, room service, and check-in and check-out procedures. Neither team wants to get into cleaning the bathrooms, and I can’t say I blame them. The ladies take copious notes during the training periods and the men just look very nervous; whether they’re scared of germs or another Rodman melt-down is a toss-up.

    In the Kotu war room, Dennis comes up with the brilliant idea of procuring food for the guests from the Carnegie Deli; he’s got a connection there, makes a call, and gets them to offer up some chocolate chip cookies. He also has the idea of getting two chauffeured car services to take the guests where they may want to go. He then dispatches Herschel and Jesse to clean and prepare the rooms while he, Brian, and Clint go on the cookie run. Why it takes three grown men to pick up 50 chocolate chip cookies is beyond anyone’s understanding, but they all head out in the van together. On the ride over, Dennis starts drinking his signature vodka and cranberry juice and babbling about getting a couple of Ferraris to park in front of the hotel, for no other reason than to show them off. Brian thinks this is nuts and vetoes the idea, but Dennis still clings on to it for a few more seconds until some other shiny object catches his eye. Maybe it was a bottle of Grey Goose.

    In the Athena war room, things are a bit different. Tionne sits at the head of the table and delegates the duties to each person. Khole will not be present for the first day of the challenge, so her assignment is left out. Annie will work on room service and be the bell person. Natalie will work the kitchen. Tionne will work housekeeping and room service. Melissa will also work housekeeping and be a floater to fill in where necessary. Brande will do housekeeping and room service. And, based on her connections in the city, it had already been decided that Joan would handle the concierge desk. Plus, as she freely admits, Joan is a hotel whore and knows that people like to get stuff for free. To that end, Natalie starts making calls to her golf sponsors to see what she can drum up for gift baskets.

    As guests will be arriving in hardly any time at all, both teams get to work on cleaning the rooms. From what we get to see, the Athena team has a much tougher row to hoe. The first room they tackle has all sorts of left over room service strays strewn about, trash around, stains on the carpet, and loads of used towels in the bathroom. Melissa says that cleaning is not for her; what work, if any, is for Melissa is a question for the ages. Brande gets skeeved out by the various hairs she has to clean up; it must be truly disgusting because this woman has spent time with Hugh Hefner. Annie finds a new appreciation for hotel workers and vows to leave $100 tips when she stays in hotels. Hear that, hotel workers of America? Keep on the look out for her, and make sure you get that tip. As the room prep winds down, Natalie comes through with her gift baskets—all professionally put together and wrapped in cellophane—and delivers them to each room.

    As for Kotu, only Jesse and Herschel are on cleaning duty, as the others are still on their cookie run. Neither of them enjoys it and it takes them longer to get the job done. In fact, they run behind, but there are only two of them. Jesse is proud that he de-pube’d the toilet, as I’m sure the guest in that room will be as well. Eventually the Cookie Three return and Brian starts putting the cookies on plates to place in the rooms. Dennis freaks out at this and dumps them all back in the box; he’s going to get the hotel chef to do up something special with those cookies. On his way to the kitchen, he offers Joan some cookies, which she takes and sets on Athena’s concierge table. Then, in the kitchen, he tells the perplexed and irritated chef that he wants some plates done up with the cookies, cheese, and caviar and sent to his rooms. Oh, and he grabs another vodka cran while he’s in the kitchen from a mysterious window where drinks are served. I’ve never seen that window on Top Chef.

    Guests check in, Dennis checks out.

    Joan sits at the ready to check in her guests, but no one is at Kotu’s concierge table, despite there’s one feisty looking little man about ready to do his best Rumpelstiltskin impersonation. Even though you know the guy is probably there only to get his SAG card, it is still entertaining to see Clint and Brian rush in and make up excuses for the delay. Clint smoothly lies that there was a delay in getting the prior guest out, thus this guest will have to wait a few minutes for his room. Truth be told, the guys just aren’t ready. Half-in-the-bag Dennis rolls into the room and is aghast that the guest has to wait and there is no champagne or anything for the waiting guests to enjoy. Off he goes to the kitchen, where he procures three bottles of bubbly, some food, and another vodka cran from that mysterious window of booze. Now, I like a good vodka and cranberry juice now and again; in fact, I had an excellent work bonding experience over that drink several years ago. However, seeing Dennis down one after the other has kind of put me off. And I hate him for that. He at least brings back the champagne and talks to the guest waiting; well I use “talks” loosely. Mostly he just carries on about how the dude is from Vancouver in a slightly menacing way.

    Check in rolls along fairly well for Athena. Joan handles the guests professionally and takes down their special requests for Broadway tickets, dinner reservations, and dog walking services. Annie takes her bellman job seriously and handles the luggage well. Kotu, after their bumpy start, gets their guests in and notes their special requests, but have a more freaked out look than Joan does. Now, this could be attributable to the fact that Joan’s face does not move, but, in this instance, I’ll chalk it up to the fact that she probably does have a lot of theater ticket and restaurant connections in the city. And by the by, to the Kotu guest who wanted to sit on stage during Equus…well, I’ve seen stills from the show and you probably do need to sit that close.

    For no other reason than to mess with the teams, Trump has rounded up Stephen Baldwin (a.k.a., the religious Baldwin) and Vinnie Pastore from last season’s Celebrity Apprentice. Also, what else do these guys have to do anyway? Joan deals with Stephen, knowing that a celebrity expects a little more and a little faster service; she takes his request to get him in to some kind of cabaret show. When Stephen gets to his room, he calls Joan to complain about his lack of view; she tells him he has the best room available and it offers the most privacy. Stephen seems placated at first, but then continues to gripe that he doesn’t like the view. And I don’t really care what he likes or doesn’t like. Meanwhile, Clint and Brian write down Vinnie’s laundry list of requests: a box of cannoli from a specific bakery, a Roy Orbison CD for his room, a car at the ready when he gets back from wherever he’s going, and an impossible restaurant reservation. Oh, yeah, and a cowboy hat like Clint’s. Vinnie tries to be one tough customer, but it’s all transparently an act, just like Stephen’s silly view problem.

    The evening rolls on, and there are some challenging issues with the guests. Conveniently, each team has a problematic room to service. On Kotu’s side, there are a couple of guys—perhaps father and son, though it’s not terribly clear—who are in town to celebrate either one or both’s birthday(s). They wanted a bottle of chardonnay sent to their room, show tickets, and a dinner reservation at a hard-to-get place. Of course, the wine takes over an hour to get delivered, owing in no small part to it’s name—Acacia. The guys debate over whether they wanted a case of chardonnay or if it is a label name, all the while failing to consult the wine list. After repeated calls to the concierge desk, Herschel attempts to first deliver some champagne, but then has an epiphany in the hallway and delivers the wine at last. Their dinner reservations are harder to come by, but Dennis—now fully drunk—takes the reins and hustles them out of the hotel and into a waiting car. He takes them to dinner down the street and undoubtedly downs a few more vodka drinks. When Ivanka stops by to check on the teams, she notes Dennis’s fairly incoherent state.

    Team Athena has a very busy room inhabited by a party of men. They constantly order up all sorts of things from room service—food, drinks, champagne, you name it. Natalie tries delivering the orders, but has a hard time with it, so Annie takes over. The guys start requesting Annie and she keeps coming back with trays of refreshments. If those guys actually ate and drank all that food and liquor, they’re going to be seriously sick in the morning.

    There, of course, are other little bits of manufactured drama. On Kotu, Clint wants to know where Dennis has gone, and Brian finds out Dennis took off with the guests to dinner. Brian thinks that, at this point, if they win it will be a miracle. Jesse thinks the group is better off without Dennis and the three of them—probably because Herschel is still lost with the room service requests—get busy on obtaining play tickets and dinner reservations. They accomplish all of their goals, aside from Vinnie’s dinner reservation. When he returns, he is mock-disappointed but then accepts their alternative dinner arrangement. What he needs with a dinner res, given that he has a box of cannoli waiting for him perplexes me.

    Team Athena has some trials and tribulations. Brande has to find a spot to walk a really cute dog, but she handles that easily enough. Stephen comes back from whatever cabaret show he’s been too and is aghast that there was a $400 cover charge and another $100+ in fees. Joan apologizes and says she’ll get him a discount or comp’d on the charges.

    Dennis finally returns to the hotel and it is obvious he is drunk beyond all manner of decency. A couple of young women arrive to check in, and he sexually harasses them. Brian asks Dennis whatever became of those cookies, so Dennis marches his drunk ass to the kitchen, grabs a big container of chocolate chip cookies—probably not the same ones he brought in—and slams them down on the floor of the reception area. He then takes off his uniform, puts on his regular clothes and leaves. Jesse observes that Dennis sadly has a drinking problem.

    The next morning proves quiet for Kotu because they did not offer a free breakfast to their guests like Athena did. Dennis returns in the morning but shuns Clint’s attempts to be civil. Jesse waxes philosophically, noting that Dennis should try to be better for his fans and not disappoint them by being so drunk and surly most of the time.

    Athena’s morning is a bit more active. All the guests order their room service breakfast at the same time, but want it at different times. Khloe is back and screws up by delivering a breakfast at twenty till 10, rather than twenty past. Those same guests with the ultra-early breakfast also ordered up in-room mani/pedi services. Joan, however, neglected to tell them that the “in-room” aspect would cost them twice the usual service price. She knows she screwed up and is apologetic.

    Before the guests finally take their leave, they rate the services provided by each team. The few comments we hear about Athena are harsh, and the guys who went to dinner with Dennis loved the experience. Uh-oh, will Rodman stick around another week? Brian confesses he really wants to lose this challenge to get rid of Dennis, but he really thinks they won.

    Did I accidentally put on A&E?

    Finally it is time for the boardroom showdown. Trump, sporting the shiny pink tie yet again, starts with Athena. Tionne says her team did a great job; Trump says he heard she was a great team leader. Melissa and Joan concur that the team was well-organized and Annie is confident in the job they did. Jon reads some of the guests’ comments, all of which are positive—the food was served warm and on time, the ticket requests came through, and the guests would absolutely stay again. The only complaints came from the room of guys, who dogged Natalie for her food delivery. The team backs her up by saying that those guys had a crazy amount of requests and were fairly difficult.

    As for Kotu, Ivanka reports that most of the team (underline “most”) behaved professionally and the concierge service was helpful. There was a delay in getting in the rooms, however. Trump then reveals that Stephen and Vinnie were just plants to be difficult and didn’t get to fill out comment cards. (Color me shocked!) He asks Dennis how the men did and Dennis says he thinks they lost and is not happy at all. He says that the team listened to him for the first four hours but then they quit taking his lead, so he left.

    At this point, the entire boardroom proceedings take a wild left turn into a maudlin intervention of sorts. Jesse says that he thinks Dennis has a drinking problem, and Brian agrees. Joan chimes in that, at first Dennis is exuberant and happy but then gets screwed up. Clint agrees that, for a while, Dennis was a good leader but then broke away from the group to play.

    Dennis weakly argues that he took care of the guests waiting for their rooms—he got them food and champagne and entertained them. But he also admits he walked out of the challenge. Jesse says that Dennis did not do a good job, which is attributable to his obvious drinking problem. Dennis turns on Jesse and says Jesse had a drinking problem too. Jesse, in his calm, deliberate way, admits that he had a problem and now has been sober for a number of years. He goes on to state that there are two of the greatest athletes sitting at the table—Dennis and Herschel—and it is quite the contrast between the two. Herschel is great and lives up to his legacy while Dennis disappoints his fans. Clint says that they wanted to win and tried to support Dennis. Dennis argues that if he’s so bad, how did he win five championships? Herschel points out that those championships are in the past and it’s about what you do in the present.

    Trump, for a moment, ponders what he’ll do if the women lose, since it is clear that Dennis needs to go. Before the wheels under that massive mess of hair start spinning too much, the scores are revealed. The men scored, on the customer service cards the guests filled out, an 86 out of 100, while the women scored a 91 out of 100. The women, especially Tionne, are elated and she gets $20,000 for her sickle cell anemia charity. Trump says that there’s no need to send the women upstairs to watch the firing play out, because it is a clear choice. Despite having given Dennis all the benefits of doubt, the drinking changes him and he did not do a good job and let everyone down. So Dennis is fired. He goes off into the dark night while he says, in an interview not from the back of the car, that he had no excuse for what happened and that he’s going to be okay.

    Let’s just hope next week’s team shake-up and “shock”—according to the previews—is a whole lot less heavy on the serious drama. If I want to watch that, I’ll turn on Intervention.

  2. #2
    Over and Out! Bunny555's Avatar
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    Re: Celebrity Apprentice 3/29 Recap: Please Sir, Don’t Let Him Have Another

    That was a fantastic recap PhoneGrrrl ...Thanks!

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    Who Dat lildago's Avatar
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    Re: Celebrity Apprentice 3/29 Recap: Please Sir, Don’t Let Him Have Another

    What he needs with a dinner res, given that he has a box of cannoli waiting for him perplexes me.
    I know I'd be set with a box of cannoli.

    Great recap, PG!
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    Re: Celebrity Apprentice 3/29 Recap: Please Sir, Don’t Let Him Have Another

    okay what is cannoli?

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    what are you watching? iguanachocolate's Avatar
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    Re: Celebrity Apprentice 3/29 Recap: Please Sir, Don’t Let Him Have Another

    Quote Originally Posted by tapper01;3398884;
    okay what is cannoli?
    a gift from the gods.

    also, a delicious Italian pastry filled with a sweetened marscapone cheese mixture. It is a shell type of thing, deep fried and open at both ends that the cheese mixture is piped into. Sometime the shells are dipped in chocolate.
    A good book should leave you... slightly exhausted at the end. You live several lives while reading it. ~William Styron, interview, Writers at Work, 1958

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    Re: Celebrity Apprentice 3/29 Recap: Please Sir, Don’t Let Him Have Another

    Thank you so much! I was moving and missed this episode. So glad for your excellent recap!
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    Re: Celebrity Apprentice 3/29 Recap: Please Sir, Don’t Let Him Have Another

    Quote Originally Posted by iguanachocolate;3399178;
    a gift from the gods.

    also, a delicious Italian pastry filled with a sweetened marscapone cheese mixture. It is a shell type of thing, deep fried and open at both ends that the cheese mixture is piped into. Sometime the shells are dipped in chocolate.
    yum

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    Premium Member dagwood's Avatar
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    Re: Celebrity Apprentice 3/29 Recap: Please Sir, Don’t Let Him Have Another

    Quote Originally Posted by PhoneGrrrl;3397942;
    Dennis still clings on to it for a few more seconds until some other shiny object catches his eye.

    Jesse is proud that he de-pube’d the toilet, as I’m sure the guest in that room will be as well.


    Excellent recap, PhoneGrrrl.

  9. #9
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    Re: Celebrity Apprentice 3/29 Recap: Please Sir, Don’t Let Him Have Another

    Before the wheels under that massive mess of hair start spinning too much,



    Loved your recap, PhoneGrrrl!

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    FORT Fanatic workn2hard2day's Avatar
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    Re: Celebrity Apprentice 3/29 Recap: Please Sir, Don’t Let Him Have Another

    I wonder when the networks will figure out some people don't even watch the shows, they just read re-caps! Thanks!
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