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Thread: Celebrity Apprentice 3/15 Recap: A Nice Day To Start Again

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    Mixing Old Fashioneds PhoneGrrrl's Avatar
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    Celebrity Apprentice 3/15 Recap: A Nice Day To Start Again

    Greetings to all you who follow the television adventures of the earth’s most wind-defying hairstyle! The first two weeks of Celebrity Apprentice 2 have shown us that the guys can’t get their stuff together and the women work, for the most part—I’m looking at you Melissa & Annie—well together. Will they be able to continue their winning streak, or will it all wash away, like a bad Halloween dye job? Let’s get to the action, shall we?

    Picking up where we last left off…

    Fresh off a the boardroom lashing that ended in Scott’s firing, Tom returns to the suite to face the other contestants; Herschel informs the guys that Tom volunteered to be the next PM for Kotu, something they’re all probably willing to allow just to set him up for removal. Jesse, ever the astute voice, notes that Tom is a dick but has some good ideas and needs to earn the respect of the team.

    The next morning, Khloe brings her winnings to her father’s old pal and fellow Dream Team member, Bob Shapiro, who heads up her charity of choice, the Brent Shapiro Foundation for Drug Awareness. She pays some lip service to drug awareness and brings up her DUI which, according to her, got a lot of press. Personally, I only know her from the clips of Keeping Up With the Kardashians shown on The Soup, so I’ll take her word for it.

    Psssst! Wanna buy a dress?

    The contestants then gather in front of St. Bartholomew’s Church and wait for Donald, Ivanka and George (yay, George!) to roll up in their limo. Trump shouts at them about their next challenge: they are standing at the church because it is famous for weddings and the challenge will be to sell wedding dresses. (Seriously, Trump, just stand a bit closer and give your vocal cords a rest!) Obviously, whoever makes the most money will win the challenge. Brian picks up right away that the guys are screwed. First there were cupcakes, then shoes, now wedding dresses! (Whine a little more, why don’t you.) He says that it’s going to be easy for the women because every woman dreams of marrying Prince Charming and every guy hopes they never get to that. Well, Brian, let me tell you that after four months of hearing all about the wedding gown shopping my sister did, the mere sight of a wedding dress makes me break out in hives. I’ll have to keep the cortisone close at hand.

    So, as promised Tom is the PM for Kotu and Brande is chosen as the PM for Athena. Each team will have an empty storefront, 125 wedding dresses, and have two days for the challenge. The first day will be about the planning and the second day will give them a three hour period in which to sell as many dresses and bring in as many corporate donations as possible.

    In the van on the way to the shops, the teams try to plan their attack. Tom attempts to organize his guys and asks Clint to call his contacts for donations. Tom wants to get to $100,000. On Athena, Annie is already on the phone with a poker buddy and gets a $10,000 commitment before they even see the store. The vans arrive and the contestants learn that the stores are right next to each other; it could be difficult with the direct competition, but Brian isn’t worried because he thinks the guys’ team has more recognizable faces. While that may be true, I don’t really want to buy any kind of dress from Dennis Rodman. I’ve seen what he looks like in a wedding gown and wouldn’t trust his fashion sense.

    Team Kotu attempts to brainstorm, but with as few brain cells they have amongst them, it’s slow going. Jesse, who is far and away the brightest player on Kotu, suggests a “red carpet” theme to make the modeling and dress trying glamorous. Tom, on the other hand, wants the place to be stark white like an art gallery. He does not see the problem of white walls plus white dresses equals aesthetically boring. And too matchy-matchy. (Good lord, too many years of recapping Project Runway has eaten my brain!) The only productive thing the guys have going is that several of them are on the phone calling for donations.

    On Team Athena, Melissa—to her credit—brings in Preston Bailey, a renowned party planner. He’s got all kinds of hookups and is going to decorate their place for free. Things are clicking along for the ladies, while over at Kotu’s shop, Tom is busy trying on dresses and making the atmosphere of the team “relaxed”. To that end, he sends Dennis and his minder Herschel out to walk the streets and tell people about the upcoming sale. Drumming up business for Kotu translates for Dennis into sitting at a bar downing vodka and cranberry juice, while trying to pick up the waitress. This drunken state leads Dennis to mumble something about being like Patrick Swayze in Whoopi Goldberg in Ghost. I have no idea what the hell he meant.

    Back at Kotu’s shop, Clint has gotten a firm cash commitment out of Tim McGraw and, around that time, Ivanka shows up. She sees Clint working the phone and Tom gives him props for brining in the money. She is of the general opinion things are going okay at Kotu but wonders what is up with Herschel and Dennis being gone. They eventually turn up, and Dennis is tanked out of his mind. He orders up a Russian girl, allegedly to model the dresses, but when the day ends, he, the girl, and Tom head to the hotel bar.

    The women end their day with more calls for contributions; Khloe gets Joe Francis, of Girls Gone Wild and prison fame, to pony up some bucks. Brande is still worried about the level of contributions coming in; apparently it is slower than she’d like.

    Getting hammered: the Tom Green business plan.

    The day of the sale dawns, and the guys get ready to head to the store for final preparations. However, neither Dennis nor Tom is to be found. The other guys head to the store, and Jesse comments—again, stating what everyone is thinking—Tom is not the best PM. Tom does finally roll in to the store; he looks like he’s going to puke, is drinking what one supposes is coffee, and may still be drunk. Dennis is still absent. The store is nowhere near ready and everyone asks him where Dennis is. He tries calling Dennis and learns that he has some eye condition going on. Brian is pissed because they need Dennis for his level of recognition, though he does admit that Dennis could just cause trouble.

    Joan, who missed the first day of the preparation, is back from giving a lecture on survival. As the women arrive at the store, they are met by Preston Bailey’s truck full of flowers. They are awesome and his crew sets the store up in no time. Melissa is so happy at her accomplishment, she even says that Brande is doing a great job as PM. I fear one day she’ll contradict herself in a big way on that statement. When the stores open, Athena’s shop is beautifully decorated and gets loads of customers.

    After a while, George stops by to check on things. He comments that Kotu’s shop is not very inviting and wants to know where Dennis is. Tom says Dennis has an eye condition; George is visibly irritated by this excuse, noting that it “must” be serious if he isn’t going to show up for the team. George doubts Dennis’ story as much as I do. George then stops by Athena’s shop and notices how inviting it is.

    Plenty of ladies are coming in and trying on dresses at Athena, but Clint and Tom aren’t worried because they have corporate donations. Also, they have Brian, in his best suit, sweet-talking the ladies who are looking at the gowns. Herschel is out on the street with the Russian model trying to drive in customers. He’s not very good at it and if he were one of those guys who stands outside of Bourbon Street bars to bring in drinkers, he’d be fired in a second. Joan spies Herschel’s efforts and gets some of Team Athena to don gowns and go out on the sidewalk. She then gets kind of physical with some women heading into Kotu’s shop and pulls them into Athena’s.

    Brande is still nervous about the corporate contributions, but then QVC sends a $25,000 check and Annie’s friend shows up with the promised $10,000. He actually flew in on the red eye from Vegas to deliver the cash. Brande is a bit calmed by the donations, but still worried. Kotu’s checks start coming in as well. Clint’s donors ponied up $35,000 and Herschel has some guys who have pledged. With only two minutes until the end of the selling time, a messenger shows up with Herschel’s donations, which are over $16,000. Tom, in an effort to not have the guys hate him, thanks Clint and Herschel for bringing in the money. With that, the selling time is over and it’s time to once again face the Shiny Tie of Doom.

    And now we understand why the Rivers are there.

    As expected, George and Ivanka are in the boardroom with Trump and his shiny purple tie. The pink one must be at the cleaner’s. Trump starts by asking Brande how her team did. She says they did an excellent job and are extremely strong as a team. No one did a poor job, but the stars were Melissa and Annie. Tom similarly says that everyone on his team did a great job, but Clint and Herschel were the heroes.

    Clearly knowing something was up, Trump asks Tom if he used Dennis’s celebrity to bring in customers. Tom has to admit that Dennis was absent for the day of the sale because he had an eye condition. Tom meanders around a story that Dennis has an allergy to cats so the dog that they met the night before at the bar caused the eye thing. George has no time for these convolutions and shouts at Tom to just say it like it was—Dennis wasn’t there. When asked why Herschel and Dennis took off on the first day, Herschel is quick to say that he went with Dennis because Tom told him too. He may have also pointed out that he didn’t get hammered on vodka crans, but that part was not included.

    Trump has enough of the bickering and gets the results. Kotu sold 21 dresses and made $63,450; Athena, however, sold 22 dresses and made $103,000. The women have handed the men their asses once again and $167,000 will go to Brande’s charity, the California Police Youth Charities. The women then take their leave and go up to watch the rest of the smack-down from the suite.

    Trump starts out saying that he is really embarrassed for the guys’ team losing three challenges in a row. Tom tries to explain the loss, saying that there was a lot of arguing in the first two weeks and he tried to change the attitude of the team. He acknowledges that it was a deficit that Dennis wasn’t there on the day of the sale. Brian then calls out Tom for being late to the sale and Herschel asks Tom if he tried checking on Dennis. Tom alleges he tried knocking on Dennis’s door for twenty minutes but never got an answer. Up in the suite, the Rivers gals earn their keep as the ladies talk about the cat/dog allergy story. Melissa thinks the allergy was a girl named Kitty, or, Joan suggests, some bitch. Best line of the night, hands-down.

    Trump then attacks Dennis: why didn’t he open the door? Surely he would have opened the door for a basketball teammate, say Michael Jordan. Dennis says he’d open the door for no one and didn’t want to bother coming to the door to say he was sick. He says if he’s sick, he’s staying away. When Trump asks Clint what he’d do, Clint wisely says that were he The Donald, he’d make Dennis produce at least three doctors to give the same diagnosis. It’s clear that it’s going to be Tom or Dennis walking, and Annie and Brande make a side bet; Annie’s money is on Tom staying.

    Trump asks Jesse whom he’d fire; he says he’d fire both. Jesse called Tom to wake him up and to tell him to wake up Dennis. Ivanka says Tom is just using Dennis as a scapegoat. Trump then asks Dennis whom to fire; Dennis was late, didn’t produce much and wouldn’t listen to Tom. Dennis says he wants to stay, so fire Tom. George then goes after Tom, accusing him of being very protective of Dennis and didn’t seem very concerned about Dennis’s absence. Tom goes back to his “I was just trying to keep things positive” argument, saying that he didn’t want the team to dwell on the negative. I’m amazed he didn’t break out into the Johnny Mercer tune. Trump has come to a decision without even going through the whole “bring two people back” routine. He says Tom didn’t bring in the money, the store was ugly, he couldn’t control Dennis, and was a bad leader. Plus, Tom was bad last week and worse this week. Still, though, he polls the remaining guys. Jesse already said he’d fire both, and Clint agrees. Brian says he’d fire Tom because he was a bad PM. Trump then gets wound up, shouts at Tom that he was lousy last week and lousy this week, so he’s fired, and everyone should “Go, get out!” The guys exit the boardroom, but not before Trump tells Dennis to try harder next week. Back in the suite, the famous poker player just lost a bet to a Playmate. With her track record so far, I may just nominate Brande to head up the national economic recovery.

    Tom takes his leave, but not before getting in the wrong elevator. He says he’s a little surprised at losing because he thought he had the potential to win. But then, he thought Freddy Got Fingered was a good idea.

    Come back next week when Dennis Rodman will have a meltdown and iguanachocolate will tell you all about it.
    Last edited by PhoneGrrrl; 03-17-2009 at 12:56 AM.

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    FORT Fanatic BeckyQOC's Avatar
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    Re: Celebrity Apprentice 3/15 Recap: A Nice Day To Start Again

    i don't believe for one second that joan was off 'lecturing' about survival. the only surviving she did was getting through her latest horrifying plastic face procedure. she looked HORRIBLE when she showed up...her speech was slurred and she had even freakier protrusions/lumps/??? on her freaky face than normal.

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    vB Tetris Champion beachgirl4's Avatar
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    Re: Celebrity Apprentice 3/15 Recap: A Nice Day To Start Again

    Thanks, Phonegrrrl! Great recap, and reading it reinforced for me that these losses by the guys have nothing to do with the tasks being better suited to the women. Their only hope for a win is to make Jesse PM and get rid of Dennis, but I suspect we're getting close to a team mix-up.

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    FORT Fanatic Mags225's Avatar
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    Re: Celebrity Apprentice 3/15 Recap: A Nice Day To Start Again

    Great title. If they do another Celebrity Apprentice, I would love to see Billy Idol on it.

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    Re: Celebrity Apprentice 3/15 Recap: A Nice Day To Start Again

    was the catfight between brandee and joan in this episode? i can't seem to stomach two hours of this nonscense, but my interest is piqued by those scenes where it's "b, c and d list celebs gone wild". maybe joe francis could start that franchise.

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