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Thread: The Apprentice Recap 03/20: Brent Blows

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    Just Forting Around roseskid's Avatar
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    The Apprentice Recap 03/20: Brent Blows

    Last week’s show opened with Andrea having a ridiculous breakdown in the bathroom and ended with Theresa taking the exit ride in the taxi. This week’s show opens with Charmaine taking her turn as the crying nutcase, after she hears Theresa was fired for not bringing her into the boardroom. What’s with these fragile women? Come on gals, suck it up…after all, you’re representing all us sisters here. Whatever happened to, “I am woman hear me roar?”

    Week four of the 15-week job interview opens at the Trump Grille where the apprentices are joined by Trump, George and Ivanka standing in for Carolyn. It’s too bad these shows are taped in advance, because I hoped Trump would gather everyone around him and announce he’s produced another apprentice into the world, his newborn son, Barron (anyone else not surprised Baby Barron was born on Apprentice Monday?). But no such luck, as this was taped months ago. Instead, he simply announces this week’s task will be to create a banner billboard for Post’s newest baby, Grape Nuts Trail Mix Crunch cereal.

    He’s Big, He’s Annoying!

    Tammy has volunteered to be PM because she has a background in marketing. While the team annoys me greatly by noisily crunching on handfuls of the cereal (I guess it supports the idea they’re crunchy-good!) and potato chips, they begin brainstorming. Brent wants to give the presentation, but Tammy dismisses that idea, and tells him he’ll be in charge of coordinating the clothing they’ll wear for the presentation….not too subtle there, Tammy. Sean tells us they don’t trust Brent to do anything, but Brent pushes for a diet-themed presentation, because we all know he’s all about dieting. The team continually nixes this idea until he finally grasps that they hate the idea. As the illustrious Suncat7 pointed out in her previous recaps, the show works overtime in making sure we realize Brent is a big boy. After tonight’s show, I not only think he has a thick waist, but also has a thick brain, because it certainly takes many thumps on his head before he finally gives up on the diet idea.

    Allie suggests an advertising campaign based on a father figure handing down this new cereal to his 30-year-old child, and Andrea adds the tag line, “The Next Generation.” The team loves it, but before all looks right in SynergyWorld, Brent persists on being an integral part of the presentation. Tammy finally tells him he doesn’t quite fit the image they’re trying to put forth, and Brent hears her say he can’t participate in it because he’s fat. He’s furious. Ooh, maybe tonight Baby Barron will have fireworks for his first night in the world! Ivanka predicts that Brent will be a loose cannon. Notice she didn’t say a loose small-caliber bullet (another veiled jab at Brent?).

    Keep It Simple Stupid

    Trump’s lesson for tonight is to keep your message simple. Ta da.

    Charmaine Feels The Squeeze

    Knowing she needs to prove herself to Trump, Charmaine steps up as PM of Gold Rush. During their brainstorming, Lee tells the team they need to keep their theme easy and simple, which causes me to wonder two things. First, is this Burnett’s hint as to who wins this task, and secondly, did Trump/Burnett decide tonight’s lesson after seeing who won, and finding a scenario that fit? Food for thought…ha, another reminder of Brent. Leslie is leaning towards having a bear or squirrel in their campaign, but Charmaine gets the team back on track. Bryce finally comes up with the idea of showing a man emptying the box directly into his mouth, because the cereal is so good, he can’t be bothered with a bowl, milk, etc. They go with it. I’m a cereal junkie, and for what it’s worth, I like it too. There’s a cereal thread in the General Discussion section here, where I have admitted eating cereal morning, noon and night at times, so I think I’ve got the qualifications to know of what I speak.

    Can I Interest You In A Quick Buck?

    On a rainy cold day, Synergy team members Allie, Roxanne and Sean set out on the streets of New York in search of people to pose as their models for the billboard. Eventually they settle on a sweet-looking young woman and an “older” looking gentleman to play the roles of father/daughter.

    Gold Rush is also on the prowl for a young woman to serve as their marketing model, and Tarek grabs a young wholesome looking woman. His somewhat suspicious approach is the questionable line, “excuse miss, could I ask you something shady.” She doesn’t seem too put off, and I’m not sure if that’s because of the cameras, because he’s cute, or because of the $200 they offer to pay for her time. I’m guessing it would probably work on me too. Hey, I’ve got my principles, they just don’t happen to conflict with this scenario, heheh.

    There’s A Sucker Born Every Minute

    Andrea is in charge of the graphics for Synergy’s campaign, and the team seems to be working well together…well that is, with the exception of Brent. Andrea confesses to us that Brent sucks the life out of people, and the team is definitely having trouble keeping him reigned in once again. She seems to be a snippy little thing, but I’ve about had it with Brent myself, as he rants to us he hopes she joins Tammy in a taxi where they can both “smell each other’s crap” because they’re both buttinskies, only he didn’t use the word buttinsky.

    Picture This

    It’s photo taking time, and Synergy has united for the big moment. Their models, a young flannel-shirted man (think Brawny paper towel man), and a young woman in work-out clothes, are standing next to each other, both holding a bowl of cereal. Later the team looks at their final graphics. The team members who put the graphics together love it, and the ones who didn’t, hate it. No surprise there.

    Charmaine doesn’t like the pictures Gold Rush has ended up with, and she’s annoyed that Bryce came up with the majority of the ideas, but toward the end of the challenge, he’s now suddenly backpedaling. It’s obvious he’s become nervous as the end draws near, because if things go south, it’ll be all on his plate (ooh, another little reminder that Brent is heavy).

    Brent Wears Boxers

    As the sun rises, Gold Rush is already in the van on their way for their presentation. They make some last-minute decisions on their presentation, and look as if they’re comfortable. In contrast, Synergy is still running around the loft trying to get out the door, with Brent actually in his shorts, ironing his pants (do we really need to see this?). According to his teammates, he didn’t step into the shower until 6:45, and they are not happy with him…again. Snippy Andrea is clearly irked with him. He snaps back and tells her she’s f**king full of it, and she retorts, “that’s why I’m a multimillionaire, and you make $50,000 a year, okay?” How old are these people? They’re acting like children. Trump should fire both of them, as neither one is looking particularly professional at this point.


    One more visual to remind us Brent is fat.

    Got cereal?

    Everyone gathers in the atrium of the building for the presentations, and the banners are unfurled from the upper floors. Gold Rush PM Charmaine (banner on right in photo) explains they were hoping a health-conscious adult woman pouring the cereal directly into her mouth would provide some shock-value, with the thought that you wouldn’t expect to see a woman doing that. They have a baby carriage with them, to help announce the newest addition to the family, this cereal. This last ploy is pretty hokey if you ask me, but other than that, I like their demonstration.



    Synergy PM Tammy (banner on left in photo) says they’re trying to focus on the next generation with their picture, and Trump questions their choice of men for the ad, saying the gentleman looks more like the woman’s boyfriend than father. I’ll let you insert your own joke here, as it’s just too easy. Their presentation also involves a slide show, and Sean stammers and stutters his way through it until thankfully Trump interrupts him, preventing him from torturing us further.

    The Post representatives evaluate both banners, saying Synergy’s is a bit complex with a lot of words, and a busy picture. They add that unless you’re in a traffic jam, you’d never be able to read it. On the other hand, they feel Gold Rush’s banner is “brilliant,” and that there’s a lot of energy and freshness to it. Gold Rush wins. Their reward will be to cook with the great chef, Jean-Georges, who works for none other than Trump, of course. I’m surprised we’re not shown a picture of Brent pouting because he missed out on a food reward.

    Lenny Goes Bam!

    Gold Rush arrives at the kitchen of Jean-Georges, and he immediately gets to work entertaining the group. Tarek tells us Charmaine was a good leader, and helped to keep everyone calm during the task. Apparently Lenny has a lot to learn about American manners, because somewhere along the way he got the idea it was appropriate to toss cayenne pepper around the plate of food a world-renowned chef has just prepared. I fully expected Lenny to shout out, “BAM!” as he tossed the red pepper, but he disappoints. Jean-Georges chastises people for seasoning their food with salt and pepper before trying it, and says he could see Lenny doing that, and adds, “I don’t like him as a customer, eh?” and everyone laughs. I thought perhaps he might have added a few extra tablespoons of cayenne to Lenny’s food, but apparently not. *sigh*

    The Team That Sleeps Together

    Wow, I thought Gold Rush was having a good time, but suddenly we see a ménages à trois going on between Sean, Allie and Roxanne, as they lay in bed together back at the loft. Whoa. But wait, they don’t seem to be having such a good time, as I realize the women are almost crying. If I were with Sean in bed like that, I think crying would be the last thing on my mind, but then I realize they’re actually strategizing. Roxanne has come to the conclusion that since Andrea was in charge of the graphics, and the graphics were a disaster, their loss should fall on her. Of course, Andrea feels the whole team lost, and therefore the weakest member(s) should go home. You know in her mind she’s screaming BRENT! Tammy and Andrea describe Brent as rude, embarrassing, and overbearing.


    The Trump strategizing position

    Lee and Lenny chat with Brent, and he tells them whether or not Tammy brings him in the boardroom, he will be back stronger and more powerful than ever. He declares he’s a nuclear weapon in the boardroom. Hey Brent, I’m not sure if you’ve thought about this much…but nuclear weapons pretty much destroy everything around them, and that would include you too, Sparky.

    Michael? Who's Michael?

    Tammy admits the other team’s banner looked better, but Andrea supports Tammy by saying she was a great manager. Roxanne says Tammy was the best PM they’ve had yet, and with Trump’s encouragement, says Tammy was a better PM than Andrea, which doesn’t sit well with Snippy Andrea. Michael (who in the hell is Michael, and are these the first words he’s spoken?) says she managed timelines, and avoided chaos. When Trump asks Brent if he thought Tammy was a good PM, he says no, that she stank, and crudely adds that the air still smells. Trump calls him on being so harsh, as Andrea and Brent proceed to argue. Taking the wind out of Brent’s sails, Trump tells Brent that Andrea’s worth millions of dollars and is much more successful than Brent (and why is she on this show exactly?). The discussion rapidly deteriorates into a shouting match between Tammy and Brent, but Allie and Roxanne literally laugh out loud when Brent declares if he weren’t on the team, their standing would be 0-4, instead of 2-2. Not knowing when to stop, he goes on and on until level-headed Ivanka brings up the excellent point that he opened the floodgates tonight by attacking Tammy when he said she “stank.” She offers that perhaps people have a problem dealing with him, because of the way he approaches situations. Wow, she’s good, and I say, “hire her!” Oh, that’s right, she’s already on the Trump payroll. Brent repeats that Tammy called him fat, and she defends herself saying she did not, but wanted someone more fit to make the presentation. Trump agrees with her, and says he’d probably have Ivanka make a presentation instead of George or himself. George is certainly not offended by this remark, and asks Brent why can’t he understand that? Brent feels he has a creative mind, but Trump interrupts him. To cut to the chase, Trump says the team can’t function with Brent, and instead of sending him back to the loft time after time, he’s done, and fires him on the spot. I’m grateful Trump doesn’t go through the usual who do you want to bring into the boardroom nonsense, and just goes on a radical diet and eliminates Brent.

    In the taxi, Brent lashes out that his team “sold Brent Michael Buckman down the river,” and they didn’t give him his “just desserts.” I don’t know…I don’t think he’s walked away from too many desserts. Ba dum ching.

    Return next week to Suncat7’s brilliant, snarky wit as she recaps the show when the teams hit the high seas. If you also hope that Snippy Andrea falls overboard, contact me at roseskid@fansofrealitytv.com.
    Love The Bachelor? Catch the recap for this season's sacrificial lamb lucky guy here in Episode 1, Episode 2, Episode 3, Episode 4, Episode 5, Episode 6 and Episode 7.

  2. #2
    FORT Fan Crede's Avatar
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    Thanks for the nice recap!

    Suncat, too: thanks for the nice recap last week! I was laughing.
    Last edited by Crede; 03-23-2006 at 12:47 AM.

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    A pirate's life for me suncat7's Avatar
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    Ivanka predicts that Brent will be a loose cannon. Notice she didn’t say a loose small-caliber bullet (another veiled jab at Brent?).
    Lenny Goes Bam!


    Those are just two of the many many lines that cracked me up, Roseskid! Fantastic recap, full of your terrific insights and humor!

    I may never get that image of Brent in his undies out of my mind, though.
    Always looking for cat treats!

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    When I'm 64 William13's Avatar
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    Since I am under doctor's orders to avoid obnoxious self-promoting windbags I still have not watched more than a few minutes of any episode of the Apprentice this season. Fortunately, I do not break out in hives if I only read about the Donald. Assuming that your recap is reasonably accurate (and how could I doubt someone whose recaps managed to turn this season of the Bachelor into something almost interesting) I see that Apprentice has turned into another session of bashing Canada. Canada sends its best executive to help out America's Greatest Businessman and what thanks do we get? A summary firing. It's outrageous. The way that you wrote it, it's also very, very funny.
    Wow, I thought Gold Rush was having a good time, but suddenly we see a ménages à trois going on between Sean, Allie and Roxanne, as they lay in bed together back at the loft.
    For a brief second I thought that I was actually missing something by not watching.
    I don’t like him as a customer, eh?” and everyone laughs. I thought perhaps he might have added a few extra tablespoons of cayenne to Lenny’s food, but apparently not. *sigh*
    Again, you should become a television producer. Your version of shows are far preferable to anything that actually gets on air.

    PS. Apparently, according to his appearance of ET Canada on Tuesday Brent lost about 40 lbs on his bagel diet after the show was filmed. No word on whether he has learned to get along with people.
    "The sun rose promptly at dawn."
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    FORT Fanatic Kay118's Avatar
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    Thanks for this awesome recap.

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    FORT Fan Fortunato's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by William13 View Post
    PS. Apparently, according to his appearance of ET Canada on Tuesday Brent lost about 40 lbs on his bagel diet after the show was filmed. No word on whether he has learned to get along with people.
    His comments on the NBC interview were very articulate and his assessments of the others sounded very diplomatic. Unless someone went back and compared his new version of what happened to the one that ran on TV, they might have been fooled.

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    Can They Do It?? mrdobolina's Avatar
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    Thanks, Roses! Great recap!
    "You don't own a TV?!? What's all your furniture pointed at?" Joey Tribianni

    It's not who you are underneath, but what you do that defines you.

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