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Thread: 3/13 The Apprentice Recap: Brent, The Other White Meat

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    A pirate's life for me suncat7's Avatar
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    3/13 The Apprentice Recap: Brent, The Other White Meat

    Last week on The Apprentice, despite their efforts to get rid of Brent, Stacy and Pepi were fired. Stacy cried wolf about being threatened by Brent, and Pepi just didn't lead well.

    When Brent and Michael go back to the suite, several people are shocked by Brent's return. Andrea wigs out and locks herself in the bathroom, sobbing her eyes out. Poor Andrea, I guess in the harrowing world of sticker making she's never ever disappointed. Way to show your strength on national televsion! Roxanne goes to try to get Andrea out of the bathroom, but Andrea tells her to go away. So Andrea's getting what she wants, lots of attention. It's not nearly as fun to run off and lock yourself in the bathroom if no one tries to pry you out of there. Umm....not that I would know from experience or anything.

    Andrea finally emerges from the bathroom, where she's made the decision that she will be project manager, and Trump will see how wonderful she is when she can manage Brent. Oblivious, Brent smothers two poppy-seed bagels with about a whole tub of butter.


    What the @#$%& do you mean Andrea's hogging the bathroom???

    On Team Goldrush, Lee and Dan announce that they will be taking two days off to celebrate the Jewish New Year, Rosh Hashanah. Lenny thinks it's stupid, as he is also Jewish but he's going to work. Now, I like Lenny, but I think he's all kinds of wrong for knocking how others practice their religion.

    The next morning Lee and Dan go to their place of worship to pray, lamenting that they may be fired if their team loses. I find this ridiculous. They have to know that no WAY is Trump about to fire them for observing their faith. Can you imagine the backlash if that were to happen? I can, and Trump won't touch that, especially since his right hand man, George, is also observing this holiday.

    Trump, Carolyn and Bill meet the contestants at Trump Tower. Trump tells Brent yet again that he's a disaster, then it's time to announce the task. They'll be throwing a corporate retreat for some of the top dealers of General Motors, where they'll introduce the 2007 Chevy Tahoe.

    Gold Rush
    At the General Motors marketing offices, Project Manager Theresa is holding court telling everyone what she wants, which is a nice "classy" event. (This is a pet peeve of mine, as I think that people who talk about "class" and call things "classy" usually have NONE of what they're talking about, because if they DID, they wouldn't talk about it. And yes, I'm rambling.) She puts Charmaine in charge of getting models and a comedian. Tarek is to be point person, working on creative stuff. For some reason, there's a nice close-up of Bryce wiping his nose on the back of his hand. Ewww. Tarek has a big chart, and tries to name things they need, and wants to get a theme going for this. Theresa won't listen to him, instead demanding that someone get her a horse and carriage, and saying that she wants stallions. Well, don't we all?

    Tarek is trying to get something together for a putting green, but Theresa says they don't necessarily need astroturf for that. Then he once again expresses his concern about no theme. Theresa says they have a comedian, they have models, they have a horse and carriage, they have an open-bar....that theirs is an experience of "class". Because nothing says class like getting good and liquored up in the presence of models and riding a few feet in a carriage. Lenny wishes that Theresa's brain was bigger than her boobs. If it were, that would be one gigantic brain.


    Theresa, being a psychotherapist, uses her "classy" boobs as the focal point for hypnosis. "Stare at my classy mammaries, you are getting very very aroused, you will do what I say."

    Synergy
    Andrea is indeed the Project Manager for Synergy. She says they need a big idea, then the tasks to bring that idea into reality. Brent suggests some massages, but that's quickly shot down as "too intimate." Andrea gives Brent busywork in learning about the product, but really, don't they all have to learn about the product? Brent is shown eating again, while everyone else is shown discussing. I think they all probably ate, as I see people chewing, but for some reason, the film editors want Brent to look like a total pig. Sean throws out a few ideas for the theme, to fit around the new Tahoe, but it's Michael who comes up with "Nature Refined."


    Brent, the poster child for emotional eating.

    Gold Rush
    It's the day of the event, and Lenny is working hard setting up the stage, tents, carpet, balloons, etc, while Tarek is digging holes in the barren ground for the golfing event. Theresa and Bryce run up to Lenny, yelling about him not having generators to run the stage. Lenny says it's not his problem, his job was the stage. Bryce tells Lenny that he dropped the ball...then, THEN.....nasty-ass Bryce wipes his nose on the back of his hand again! Because nothing says class like horrible manners. Nasty snot-boy. Then instead of letting Lenny take care of the generator problem, Snot-boy Bryce makes a big production of calling for one.


    Lenny tells Bryce "Hey, in Russia we use tissues, not our hands!"

    Synergy
    Synergy has several activities planned for the day. One is climbing a faux rock wall. I'd think there might be some liability issues with this, but the issue is never raised. Another event they have planned...in the park..is skeet shooting. You hear the shots go off, and then poor Daffy's quacking is suddenly halted. *cries for pretend duck* Some park rule enforcer comes by and tells them that no how, no way are they going to be allowed to use this park for skeet shooting. They replace it will golf-cart racing, and all is well in Synergy land. Golf carts are raced, rock walls are climbed and they drive people around in the Tahoe, with Mr. Accent, Sean, giving the vehicle details. Everything is running smoothly.

    Gold Rush
    Theresa tells Bryce to go educate the models about the Tahoe. Most of them are standing there like "What? I have to do more than stand and point?" The dealers are taken from their bus to the event tent in the horse-drawn carriage, with Theresa running along side. Maybe she's trying to hypnotize them with her boobs as well? Tarek and Snot-boy Bryce are running the "putt through the dirt" golfing activity. People gather around the stage, looking at the Tahoe, but the models can't answer the questions about the vehicle. The comedian they have hired is Korey Kahaney, from season one of Last Comic Standing, which was also a NBC show. Korey's routine is very offensive to the crowd, complete with inappropriate topics and language. For whatever reason, Charmaine goes ahead and pays her $1,700.


    "Horsepower? No, I don't know about horsepower. But I can point at the Tahoe for you!"

    Board Room 1
    Dan and Lee decide to join Gold Rush for the boardroom, even though they didn't participate in the task. Bill tells about Gold Rush, saying that the dealers felt that the comedian was inappropriate, there wasn't enough product knowledge, and they needed to showcase the Tahoe better. Carolyn tells what the dealers thought about Synergy, saying everything went well, everyone was happy, and Synergy wins. As a reward, they get to swim with sharks. Trump says the sharks will look at Brent and go "wow". We get it, we get it, Brent's hefty. They're really over the top with that..."look at Brent eat! He's fat and he's eating!" "The shark will want to eat Brent because he's fat!" It's all very seventh-grade.

    Before they leave, Trump asks Theresa who she thinks she may bring back to the boardroom, and she says Lenny.


    Color-coordinating your tops won't help you win the task.

    Atlantis Marine World
    Synergy arrives at Atlantis for their reward, and they look at the sharks in the tank. Allie points one out and says "That one's bigger than Brent, ya'll!" Because, did you know? Brent's fat! Hahaha, so funny! Only not. Brent's pretty concerned about the sharks, and has a lot of questions. It seems to be a real fear for him. He did go through with going down in the shark cage, though, and good for him because he could of just said he was too scared. Both Allie and Sean make comments on how they hope the shark will eat Brent. Niiiiice.


    Fins the Shark, looking for a meal low in cholesterol.

    Boardroom 2
    Gold Rush goes to the boardroom, and Trump asks Theresa why they failed. She says because of individual execution, and creative, and that it's the fault of Tarek and Lenny. Tarek and Theresa try to shout over each other about there not being a theme. Bill complains about the condition of the golf activity, but Tarek for whatever reason never brings up the fact that Theresa told him "'no" about getting some astroturf. Tarek just tells Carolyn that he couldn't control the conditions of the field. Trump asks Lenny who he would fire, and he says "everybody". Charmaine is questioned about the comedian, and Trumps says they should have had Lenny be the comedian, plus he would be free. Theresa decides to bring Lenny and Tarek back in the boardroom for the final decision.

    Boardroom 3
    Trump asks Bill his opinions on this task. Bill says that Theresa fumbled the ball with the task, but that Lenny was a workhorse. (Too bad he wasn't a stallion, or he could have pulled the carriage.) Carolyn says that the loss had nothing to do with Lenny, but that Tarek's golf activity was terrible.

    Theresa, Tarek and Lenny return to the boardroom. Trump asks Lenny why he shouldn't fire him. Lenny says because he did what he was asked, he did his job. Trump asks Tarek if he thinks Lenny did his job. Tarek says yes, that he did, and that he thinks Theresa should go. He says that she didn't let them focus on a theme, and that in the end she was responsible for the comedian, since she delegated that. Trump questions why Theresa didn't bring back Charmaine, since Charmaine picked the comedian, and she says because she thinks Tarek was worse. Tarek counteracts with "you must think highly of me to put the entire creative on one person" which I think is a good comeback. Theresa and Tarek bicker, and bicker some more. Trump, who seems to really like Lenny, asks him what he should do with those two, and he says "fire them both". Bill brings up that the models had a huge lack of product knowledge, and Theresa agrees that they were terrible. She says Charmaine hired them, and Trump tells her that her biggest mistake was not bringing Charmaine in the boardroom. Trump asks her about the horse and buggy, which was Theresa's idea, and says he hated it. Theresa then gets fired. Tarek stupidly has to say after that "I'll step it up, Mr. Trump" to which Trump replies 'You'd better step it up...if you can."

    In the taxi-cab of disillusion, Theresa says she doesn't think this will be the last Trump sees of her. No, probably not, once she secures that Maxim photo-spread.


    "If you'd just stare at my huge boobs, you'd be hypnotized into not firing me."

    Tune in next week for Roseskid's recap where Brent is supposed to go way, way way over the line! Oh that NBC hype!

    This recap powered by a gallon of Sweet Tea contact suncat7@fansofrealitytv.com
    Last edited by suncat7; 03-16-2006 at 01:21 PM.
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    gardening geek perennialprince's Avatar
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    Suncat - great recap!

    you're not hung up on Brent being overweight, are ya?!?!?!?!?!

    PP
    it's really perennialprincess, there just wasn't enough space to fit it all in!

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    When I'm 64 William13's Avatar
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    Do to Murphy's Law of Television scheduling I have been unable to watch the Apprentice this season - mind you, it doesn't have to be much of a viewing alternative for me to prefer it to the Apprentice.
    Your recap was great - it gave me all the salient points without having to listen to the Donald's hyperbole. The only problem is that you are far too logical for the show. I don't recall any of the contestants having the sense that you do.
    Not having actually seen the show I did wonder if the Apprentice had gone Sci-Fi. Shouldn't Tarek be the name of a Vulcan or Romulan?
    Anyway, thanks for the very funny recap.
    Theresa won't listen to him, instead demanding that someone get her a horse and carriage, and saying that she wants stallions. Well, don't we all?
    I laughed many times while reading the recap, but I just had to quote that part.
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    Just Forting Around roseskid's Avatar
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    William13, I enjoy your witty, appreciative posts so very much.
    Quote Originally Posted by suncat7 View Post
    Theresa says they have a comedian, they have models, they have a horse and carriage, they have an open-bar....that theirs is an experience of "class". Because nothing says class like getting good and liquored up in the presence of models and riding a few feet in a carriage.

    The dealers are taken from their bus to the event tent in the horse-drawn carriage, with Theresa running along side. Maybe she's trying to hypnotize them with her boobs as well?

    Trump says the sharks will look at Brent and go "wow". We get it, we get it, Brent's hefty. They're really over the top with that..."look at Brent eat! He's fat and he's eating!" "The shark will want to eat Brent because he's fat!" It's all very seventh-grade.
    Excellent recap my dear Sunny! I enjoyed every little morsel, and loved your picture descriptions, too.
    Love The Bachelor? Catch the recap for this season's sacrificial lamb lucky guy here in Episode 1, Episode 2, Episode 3, Episode 4, Episode 5, Episode 6 and Episode 7.

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    FORT Fan Woot!'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by William13 View Post
    Not having actually seen the show I did wonder if the Apprentice had gone Sci-Fi. Shouldn't Tarek be the name of a Vulcan or Romulan?
    Tarek is actually a very common Arabic name.

    Suncat - great recap as usual. You are right to point out that the editors are going to great lengths to make sure that we all realize that Brent is overweight! sigh.

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    Premium Member dagwood's Avatar
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    Great job!
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    *I Love Chad* SentFromHeaven's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by suncat7 View Post
    When Brent and Michael go back to the suite, several people are shocked by Brent's return. Andrea wigs out and locks herself in the bathroom, sobbing her eyes out. Poor Andrea, I guess in the harrowing world of sticker making she's never ever disappointed. Way to show your strength on national televsion! Roxanne goes to try to get Andrea out of the bathroom, but Andrea tells her to go away. So Andrea's getting what she wants, lots of attention. It's not nearly as fun to run off and lock yourself in the bathroom if no one tries to pry you out of there. Umm....not that I would know from experience or anything.
    Lol, this part was hillarious, thanks Suncat.
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    Can They Do It?? mrdobolina's Avatar
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    Wait a second....Brent is FAT??

    Great recap, suncat! Thanks!
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