The Apprentice 02/03 - Wake Up And Smell The Coffee

[Miss Filangi]

Last time on the Apprentice; several people compared themselves to Trump,
Verna left, and then came back and Brian and Kristen were busy making
enemies. Brian sealed his fate by dropping too many f-bombs and generally
proving himself incapable of working as part of a team.

Déjà vu
Upon Net Worth's return, the suite is abuzz with shock, learning that Brian
not only told Trump he should be fired, but was fired with the rest of the
team present. Why, they're so surprised, I'm not sure. Just be happy that he's gone and even happier that he was fired in the most humiliating way possible. Don't EVEN try to take the high road, no one buys that you aren't all secretly gloating about it. I know I would.

In the meantime, Danny has decided that his latest task as Chief Morale
Officer is to support Verna in her time of need. Danny assembles Magna
together and suggests that if Verna needs some time to herself during the
next task, they should honor that. Apparently, Verna has been so
traumatized that she's been rendered mute as Danny speaks for her during the
whole awkward exchange. Unlike Danny, the majority of the group isn't as understanding. Erin is the most vocal, and tells Verna directly that if she is
going to flake out again, the rest of the team needs to be aware of it.
Eventually Verna cracks under this hard line of questioning and decides to quit. If Erin scares intimidates you, you probably are better off gone. Danny is saddened to see her go. He's probably the only one. After all, with Verna leaving, he's now the odds-on favorite for getting fired.

Coffee, Tea or Danny?
Danny takes it upon himself to call Rona to update her on Verna's status and
asks her to pass it along to Mr. Trump. Why a producer or camera guy or
someone else couldn't have done it is beyond me. I guess this makes Danny
feel important and valid. Rona is indifferent, as you'd expect, and has her own message to pass along. Everyone is to meet Trump in Times Square right away.

Trump begins with his weekly commercial. This time it's for Nestle.
Nestle, Trump explains, is the worlds largest food company and therefore
makes more money than he does and he's not happy about it. We pause as all
the candidates politely laugh at his tired joke. This week's task is to
develop a marketing campaign for Nescafe. Each team is given a budget of
$75,000. The team that creates the most amount of buzz, as judged by two
Nestle execs, will wins.

European Models and Hookers? Oh My!
As Magna gathers, Bren shows his strategic side by immediately volunteering
Danny as PM. Bren explains that Danny is creative and this project would be
tailor made for him. It is a brilliant strategy, really. Since the project
managers are shaping up to be the prime targets in the boardroom, volunteer
someone else to take the heat while looking like a leader. Brilliant, Howdy
Doody, good for you! Your next assignment is to take off that ridiculous
bowtie. You're already a standout with your unruly, bright red hair. Have
you never heard of overkill?

But I digress. Magna has more serious problems than Danny as their project
manager. First off all, they can't come up with a good idea. Secondly,
they can't come up with ANY ideas, or at least not legitimate ones.
Michael, who earned an exemption last week, is offering several ideas. When
Michael thinks of Nescafe coffee, he apparently thinks of European models
and hookers. No, I don't know why. I can only surmise that he probably
thinks about this all day and thought a campaign including them might help
him fulfill his other, uh, creative ideas. Mercifully, the rest of the team
dismisses his suggestions, getting the impression that Michael is using his
exemption as an excuse to blow off the task. Finally, Stephanie comes up
with an idea; hire an event planner to coordinate the campaign and make sure
all the minor details are looked after, you know, because 7 able bodied
people can't look after all of that on their own! Danny is tentative as the
quote is for $60,000 and they don't have a concrete plan. He decides to
poll the group for their opinions. Alex is outraged, as he believes that if
Danny was any sort of leader, he'd be capable of making this decision on his
own. Well Alex, that's your first problem. Danny is no leader at all,
notwithstanding glee clubs or folk bands, of course. Danny decides to bite
the bullet and proceed with the event planner, figuring that the ideas will
come to them later. Flying by the seat of your pants at it's finest, kids.

Excess Caffeine May Cause Side Effects
Angie volunteers to be the next project manager for Net Worth. Clearly
wired on one too many coffees herself, the brainstorming from Angie flies
fast and furious. Heck, she even has a few extra ideas for Magna. Her main
theme is shaping up to be, "You DO Have a Choice, Tasters Choice". Tana
observes that Angie has hit the ground running, but is confident she'll do a
good job, even if she reminds her of her mother on Thanksgiving morning.
Net Worth discusses a $5,000 raffle and everyone seems to be running on all
cylinders. Life is good for Net Worth.

Meanwhile, Bren manages to come up with a gimmick of his own. He explains
when he first came to New York, he noticed many people walking around with a coffee in one hand and an iPOD in the other. He suggests they do iPOD
giveaways in order to create a buzz. The group is enthusiastic about this
idea since it is the first with some actual merit. Everyone that is except
Michael, still pouting that his suggestions were dismissed. While the group
continues to brainstorm, Michael has settled into group heckler, mocking the
process and in particular, Danny. Danny decides to take the bull by the
horns and summons the courage to tell him to shut up. Michael is not
impressed and refuses to help later on when the group unloads material. Fed
up, Danny asks Michael to get off his ample butt and help out. Michael
refuses and proceeds to overreact by threatening to throw Danny out a
window. During the melee, Bren proves he'd be a great Pictionary player as
he skillfully draws a picture of the team going to hell in a handbasket.
Bren, dorky tie aside, has the potential to be my favorite candidate this
season.

Big Day, Little Footage
With little fanfare, the day of the big promotion arrives. Net Worth has
taken their 'choice' theme to the street and turned it into a full-fledged
open election, complete with mock candidates debating the appeal of cold and
hot coffee. The atmosphere is a patriotic one, red, white and blue to
attract the huddled masses and a large crowd does gather to take part in the
raffle giveaway. By all accounts, Net Worth is pleased with their campaign
and their project manager. Angie says it was an easy task, since she was
very passionate about her ideas and it helped to motivated everyone.

Meanwhile, Magna proceeds with their campaign and their iPOD giveaway. The
event planner's team is along for the ride, which seems to involve a lot of
standing around and trying to look busy. The only person that seems to have
a designated task is Michael, who has been marginalized by standing around
aimlessly passing out flyers and looking bored. Michael, believing his
exemption status means he's somehow superior to his teammates, continues to criticize Magna and the iPOD idea. I might be sympathetic if I didn't
remember that his own idea involved models and hookers. iPOD's may not be a
phenomenal idea, but at least it's not a trashy one.

Look it's Sweet, In A Helicopter Built for 8
Both teams are assembled to learn the results of the tasks. Trump asks each
project manager to assess their performance. Danny thought they did
fabulous. Or the event planner did fabulous, since Magna had a difficult
time putting a plan in motion, let alone executing one. Angie says she's
proud of their group and also believes that they did well. The Nestle
executives think Magna did a great job in developing name brand recognition,
but didn't come up with a big concept. They were impressed with Net Worth
as their campaign was very creative and did a good job of getting the
message across. Therefore, Net Worth wins.

The reward is a Helicopter ride. Without Trump tagging along, which is an
even bigger reward in my eyes. Angie is elated and her enthusiasm spreads
to the rest of her team as they tour the landmarks of New York City a night,
high above the city. Chris says the key to success is everyone keeping a
smile on their face. He adds that he's proud that their team is doing well
over a team that should, on paper, be more promising.

An Exception To The Exemption
Dejected by their loss, Magna stews in the suite, mostly complaining about
enemy number one, Michael. All seem to feel he slacked off during the task
and felt entitled to contribute nothing because he was exempt. Erin
approaches Danny with an idea. Since they all are in agreement that Michael
was not professional and deserving of exemption, the team should rally and
suggest Trump overturn the exemption.

In the boardroom, Danny explains to Trump that they worked hard together and it was a tough loss. He takes the opportunity to bring up the matter of the exemption and ask what qualifies an exemption. Trump explains that it might not be ideal, but it's a rule and they all must abide by them. Erin, from a
legal standpoint, attempts to argue their case and explains that Michael
abused his exemption and it should therefore be revoked. Trump remains
cold to the suggestion, as do Carolyn and George. Discussion turns to the
event planner. Stephanie says it was her idea and even though Trump admits
he doesn't like the idea, Stephanie's teammates defend her and say they
believe it added a great deal to their performance. Bren is asked who he
believes is responsible for the loss. He says he would fire Michael even
though the ultimate responsibility falls on Danny's shoulders. George
criticizes Danny for not marginalizing Michael and his attitude earlier and
more effectively in order to free themselves from any problems he may have
caused. Danny asks if Michael could be fired, but Trump won't bite.
Nevertheless, Danny chooses to bring in Stephanie and Michael.

As Trump confers with his advisers, Carolyn says it's a mistake for Danny to
bring in Michael and adds that Danny was a terrible leader. George agrees,
adding that it was a tactical mistake since Michael can't be fired. The
consensus is, that despite Michael's failure to contribute to the team, he
isn't the reason why they lost.

Once the candidates are brought back in, Trump asked Michael if he did
poorly because he was exempt or incompetent. He says neither, attempting to defend himself by explaining that he came up with ideas but they were not
reciprocated. Perhaps Michael should have shared his ideas, given Trumps
affinity all things tacky. It's soon Danny's turn on the hot seat and he's
criticized for taking a consensus. Stephanie says Danny wasn't a good
leader when it came to decision-making and believed it was ridiculous to
vote rather than just make a decision. Defending himself once again, Michael says he did a great job since he had so many great ideas. On, Michael, enough with the horndog fantasies already! Perhaps he and 'sex sells' Maria from last season should hook up. Trump, however, disagrees and says Michael was horrible and did a terrible job. He allows that Stephanie did a better job than either of the men since everyone seemed in agreement that the event planner was a good idea. Trump determines that Danny paid too much, was too late with the event planner and he hates that Danny chose someone that was exempt to take to the boardroom. Danny is fired.

In the taxi, Danny decides to sing about his teammates turning on him and his time on the show. Yes. Sings. Badly. Some peppy, folk type ditty that grates on my nerves. Oh Danny, how wrong you are for this show. So very, very wrong.

Hey! I don't like coffee! Do you? Hot or cold? Who even drinks cold coffee? Who even reads this little tag at the bottom? missfilangi@fansofrealitytv.co m

[Google]

 

[Rabid Dingo]

You never fail to crack me up, Miss F!

[William13]

Congratulations. Your recap showed far more energy and creativity than anyone on the show. As a bonus you threw in enough scorn that I may be able to watch the show another week, so that I can fully enjoy your next recap.

[Invisigoth]

Originally Posted by Miss Filangi

As Trump confers with his advisers, Carolyn says it's a mistake for Danny to
bring in Michael and adds that Danny was a terrible leader. George agrees,
adding that it was a tactical mistake since Michael can't be fired.

I don't think it was all that bad of an idea. With Michaels exemption, Danny was the only possible candidate for firing. It was his only chance to survive.

File that under things that did not work.

[DjDeluxay]

i do think Michael did a poor job. And in his mind he did think hey im on exemption it doesn't matter. But once he is off you better believe he will improve his act.

[roseskid]

Originally Posted by Miss Filangi

Brilliant, Howdy Doody, good for you! Your next assignment is to take off that ridiculous
bowtie. You're already a standout with your unruly, bright red hair. Have
you never heard of overkill?

During the melee, Bren proves he'd be a great Pictionary player as
he skillfully draws a picture of the team going to hell in a handbasket.

The reward is a Helicopter ride. Without Trump tagging along, which is an
even bigger reward in my eyes.

On, Michael, enough with the horndog fantasies already! Perhaps he and 'sex sells' Maria from last season should hook up.

I'm not sure it's fair to Howdy Doody to compare him with Bren. But you cranked out another great recap nonetheless.

[SQUATMAN]

Originally Posted by Miss Filangi

In the taxi, Danny decides to sing about his teammates turning on him and his time on the show. Yes. Sings. Badly. Some peppy, folk type ditty that grates on my nerves. Oh Danny, how wrong you are for this show. So very, very wrong.

so very very true

Maybe Cuban will hire you.

[eny]

Great Recap Miss F . Horndogs and iPods So very much better than having to watch the Trumpstinator. You are saint.

[dagwood]

Originally Posted by Miss Filangi

Perhaps Michael should have shared his ideas, given Trumps affinity all things tacky.

Trump would have loved the idea.

[LiteWeightLiz]

Thanks, Miss F!!! Great re-cap!