I have a confession to make. It's something that only those closest to me are aware of. Please don't judge me, or tell me that I'm wrong. It's just. I don't get the appeal of Elvis Presley. At 30, I don't think I'm too young. It's not like I haven't heard of him; I grew up with his songs on every oldies station across the dial. I even know some die hard fans, I just don't get it. Don't bother explaining what the appeal is or how he broke all boundaries to become Elvis the Pelvis, which, by the way, is a most unfortunate nickname to aspire to.
Obviously, the prospect of the remaining 4 idols singing Elvis songs, (2 songs a piece!) wasn't something that I was all that keen on. Did they disappoint me? Did they prove me wrong? That might be the most exciting part of the whole recap!
Orange You Glad I Didn't Make An Elvis Pun?
Ben is very orange tonight, and I'm not talking about his fake and bake. His orange shirt and orange pouffy kerchief, or whatever you call it, tucked in his breast pocket. I'm sure he's trying to look very dapper, but he just looks more like the Kenô doll he already is.
It's time to banter with the judges. Let's guess what happens, shall we? It starts with lame questions, delivered very seriously by Ben. Jake looks annoyed. Farley and Sass play nice and boring and Zack responds with something that has nothing to do with whatever Ben asked. Not that I blame him, Ben's questions are more scripted than a 6th grade speech. I can't think for the life of me one time when Ben had asked something memorable. No wonder no one watches ETalk Daily.
This week the field trip was to Graceland, home of Elvis Presley, king of Rock & Roll, in case you hadn't heard. The trip clips consist of well, clips of things you've likely seen before, with the highlight being a trip to Sun Studios where Elvis recorded his albums.
Let's Get The Obvious Song Choices Out of the Way
Aaron leads off the night with Teddy Bear. I know, this stuns you. I however, was not so naÔve, as it only seems logical that Aaron would choose this song. Well, that and America's Velvet Teddy Bear managed to pull off a win in AI2. Jake says that with Aaron's theatrical background, he did a good job not falling into an Elvis impersonation. Farley agrees, as Sass says he makes a fabulous name for big men everywhere. Yes, she said fabulous. Zack pauses, makes no comment, except 'Next'. Someone's grumpy. Besides me, of course.
Suzi follows with Heartbreak Hotel. Of all the Elvis songs, this is one that perhaps hate the most. (It would be unfair for me to say like the least, as I like so few of Elvis' songs, you understand. And yes, I realize how negative I sound) The song certainly fits Suzi's style and she puts her standard rock stomp into it, along with a few unfortunate sneers and snarls, Elvis style. Didn't like it when he did it, sure don't like when she mimics it. The judges are kinder, however. Farley says he wishes she had more fun with it and 'sang' more. Sass says that it's tough to sing Elvis unless you know what you're doing, but she liked what Suzi brought. Zack just says she looks like she could use a good night's sleep. and that she sang like she could use a good night's sleep as well. Jake tells her to ignore what Schmelvis is saying, the song is about heartbreak and she sang it as if she had heartbreak. Is that what those snarls were?
Something New, Something Old
Up next is Melissa with Little Less Conversation, which was an old hit, remade a few years ago and after popping up in half a dozen movie soundtracks is now the theme to Las Vegas. At least she's staying away from the Elvis comparisons. Sass simply says that Melissa is her Idol, even though she sang in the wrong key. Zack, hampered by favoritism once again, asks her to kill the next song. Jake, again comments on Zack's mood before he points out that Melissa's performance was a bit on the screechy side. Farley says Elvis songs were meant to be fun and at the very least, she energized the room with her performance.
What's Elvis night without one of his 'hits' that would be written off as a lame novelty song had it were recorded today? Rex is here to fill the void with Blue Suede Shoes, while, mercifully, not wearing blue suede shoes. Zack is not impressed and says that Elvis recorded tons of songs, so there shouldn't be any excuse for picking cheesy songs. Apparently he's not a fan of the song choices so far. Jake says it's tough to sing an original version of that song, but at least he had an original dance. Farley jumps on that comment, and points out, repeatedly, how stiff Rex is. And no, he wasn't dirty about it whatsoever. He praises Rex for trying to have some fun with it and says while Elvis was famous because he was a limber white guy, Rex is so uptight he should be called Elvis Pretzel. Sass, once she stops laughing about the Elvis Pretzel joke, says it was a boring song. Boring and stupid, Sass. Don't forget stupid.
Letís Get Serious, Ladies & Gentlemen
After one trip through the batting order, Aaron returns with Love Me Tender. God, I hate this song. In any case, Aaron does what Aaron does best and pours his heart into the song. Jake thanks him for wearing white, along with himself, and says the song was right in his comfort zone. Farley praises the way Aaron works the cameras. Sass, who is starting to warm up to Aaron, says he knows how to milk a dramatic moment and she loved it. Zack figures someone tuning in for the first time tonight might think this is the Dairy Network; All Cheese, All The Time. Sponsored by those awful Milk Rap commercials, Iím sure. I canít say I disagree with Zack, though.
Iím sure youíre all sick of me saying how much I hate Elvis songs, but I really do. At the top of the list would be Can't Help Falling In Love, which has been made and remade to death. Suzi decides itís her turn to take a stab at it, and does a different arrangement with it, which surprisingly, I donít hate. Farley loves her understated look and the different approach she brought to the song, even if it was a little shaky in places. Sass is really impressed and notes that Suzi changed the melody and despite some iffy patches vocally, was quite cool. Zack says tonight might be her last performance, but it was the most honest and memorable one of the night. Jake takes exception to Zack predicting her demise, and points out that there hasnít been a lot of vulnerability this season, but Suzi moved him tonight, and thought her performance was very special.
Thank You, Thank You Very Much
Melissa follows with You'll Never Walk Alone. Like Suzi, Melissa delivers a very understated performance. Sass, suddenly remembering sheís the queen of alliteration, says it was simple, sweet and stunning. Zack thinks next week, everyone should refuse to go away on any field trips and get some sleep instead. He does praise her for her honest performance and says he hopes she sings better next week. Jake likes when sheís playful, but likes her most when she did what she did tonight. Farley says Melissa looks great tonight and praises her for her vocal range.
Closing off a mediocre night is Rex, with If I Can Dream. The song obviously means a great deal to Rex, and as he pours the song out of him, he hits about 125 bad notes on the way. Zack says tonight will be remembered as the night 4 talented singers massacred a great catalogue. Jake keeps prodding a moody Zack spits back that it will be remembered as the night Zack massacred 4 talented singers. Insults aside, Jake thought Rex picked the right song for his voice. I think Jake and I heard two very different things. Farley really liked Rexís passion and says thatís more important to a performance. Really? Well how come prize winning karaoke singers arenít more famous? Sass says she thought it was poo, but she really likes Ďyouí(Rex). Nope. Still not as clever as the Elvis Pretzel.
What do you know? Iím still not an Elvis fan!
Tonight! Someone goes home as the Final 3 is revealed!