Someone needs to tell Ben Mulroney to stop trying to be funny. And that trying to be cool doesn't work. And maybe that he should lay off the tanning beds, if only for a few weeks.
This week was downright painful as Classic Rock night gave Ben the opportunity to trot out all sorts of lame rock puns. We will, we will, rock you? The kids want to rock? Are you ready to rock? Rock you all night long? Yeah, heard 'em before. Wasn't that creative the first time around. Honestly Ben, you're so much more likeable when aren't trying so hard to be liked.
We're down to 6 finalists already and they are paraded out, as per usual, all dressed in stereotypical 'rock' gear, excluding Casey, who is channelling some flower child from the 60's. I'm far from a Casey fan, but she gets my vote for best dressed Idol this year.
Rock, Paper, Scissors
Melissa starts off the night with Heart's Alone. She's as consistent as ever, although I admit it is a bit off-putting when the backup singer came on and was about 7 times louder than her. Afterwards, she thanks the 124 piece band (not quite), led by Orin Isaacs, who must have a friend on Canadian Idol as this is his second appearance in as many weeks. The judges are unanimous with their praise. Sass says all the ditzy popstars du jour should watch out because she's the real deal and Sass can't believe she's only 17. Zack says what he loves most about Melissa is that she doesn't give a, uh, fig.
Rex follows with Bob Seager's Turn The Page, and he's wearing his white cap again. But really, what says rock more than a pristine white baseball hat? (I know, I know, it's sentimental) Rex's version is a bit more Metallica than Seager's, but he gets into it, gets the band into it and gets the audience into it. His performance is met with more rave reviews from the judges. Farley has put a lot of thought into his comment and says Rex is stiff like a rock, but rolls with soul and loved it. Farley's treading dangerously close to Ben Mulroney territory in the pun department. Sass, always one to pick up on a good stiff joke, agrees. Zack says there was a lot of contrived nonsense, but figures it won't matter, and Jake thinks Rex has a lot of passion and just rocked it. If I never hear the word 'rock' again.. well, nevermind, I'm in for a long night.
When you hear 'rock' you think of a cute blonde with a lack of personality, right? Neither do I, but Casey gives it her best shot with The Pretenders' I'll Stand By You Chrissie Hynde, she is not. It’s a rock ballad, so at least Casey’s not leaving her comfort zone. You’d think she’d crash and burn, but the judges are surprisingly pleasant. Sass and Zack both think that this is her best performance to date, with Zack musing that getting hit in the head repeatedly made her sing like an adult. Jake thought she sang with vulnerability and heart and Farley says it’s her most impassioned performance so far.
Nothing Says Rock Like An Audience Full Of Kids With Signs
The next performer of the night is Aaron, who has selected Hot Blooded, by Foreigner. Words can’t really express how much I hate this song and Aaron does what he does best; perform. He hasn’t really dialed down on the theatrical elements to his voice, but he mixes it up and has a good time. Zack comments that it was a little Ramada Inn-ish at times, but has no issues. Jake calls him a natural and Farley points out that he has a ton of energy and people love him. Sass, doing her best to match wordplay with Farley, says he sang the cheese and grilled it. It’s a compliment, by the way.
Jon Dore’s bit of the night consists of a 70’s porn mustache and then throwing mustaches out into the crowd. That was pretty much it, but seeing people reach for flying mustaches is really something you ought to see at least once in your life.
When you heard that the Idols were going to front their own band tonight, you probably thought of Suzi and her heavily pimped band, King Sized Suzi. She’s obviously thrilled with the prospect and chooses to sing Piece of My Heart from her Idol, Janis Joplin. I have never liked that song since Faith Hill murdered it several years ago, and I’m not a big Suzi fan to start with. Still, she does a good job and is completely in her element. Jake and Farley thought it was a great performance, thanks to a perfect song choice. Sass thinks she’s feisty and emotional and Zack, not incredibly impressed, says that this is what she does, so you’d expect her to be good.
Josh closes off the night with Layla, by Eric Clapton. The original version, not the unplugged version, as that would likely defeat the purpose of the live band. Near the end of the performance, Josh grabs the guitarists guitar from behind him and plays a bit. We get it, you play. That would likely be incredibly impressive to those of us that didn’t catch last year’s Canadian Railroad Trilogy where the Idols played their own instruments. Farley and Sass give him high marks for his performance. Zack tells Canadians to disregard the fact that Josh can play the guitar and says that while he didn’t find it that appealing, he would be proud if it was his artist that did that. At this point, Josh is unable to contain his verbal diarrhea and suggests that Zack come up and play the guitar. Zack is not impressed. Jake starts to comment about the song choice and Josh continues to interrupt. Equally annoyed, Jake scolds him for not shutting up and then refuses to say more. Josh, you really should learn to be more appreciative of the people that carried you this far.
Who didn’t, who didn’t rock you? Find out tonight at 7:30!