Canadian Idol Results Show 07/13 - Two Shots of Testosterone
Itís finally over. Finally, the groups are over.
No one likes this stage of the competition. If you say you do, youíre lying. How can you? For 4 weeks, we are reintroduced to performers we barely remember, save the ones that have been heavily pimped by the judges and therefore distributed evenly in the 4 groups. Each week, these virtually unknown kids parade onto the cheesy stage, surrounded by their cheesy friends, family and cheesy signs, to perform for about a minute and a half only for the majority of them to be told, usually by Zack, how cheesy their performance is. It isnít fun. Itís like the 3rd or 4th date with someone, after the butterflies have started to wear off, when you size each other up trying to determine if this is going to go anywhere.
It Hurts Less When You Do It Quickly
All this brings us to the Wild Card show, of course, where the parade of losers and those screwed over have their final chance to make it to the Top 10. 6 people will be dumped, again, and it will all be very uncomfortable. Fortunately, in just 30 minutes we can make a break for the door and look forward to the future and those that will become our Canadian Idols this season.
Before we get to the show, we need to have an appearance from Jon Dore, who is hard at work pimping Canada Postís contest this year. I will admit, I donít really get it. Thereís something about Inspiration and this yearís Canadian Idols. Iím hard pressed to see how anyone could be so inspired at this point by any of the Canadian Idols so far. Thatís not an insult, itís a fact. Do we really KNOW anything about the Idols? No, we donít. Therefore, itís a stupid contest and itís stupid to be promoting it this early. Any entries that have been submitted at this point should be thrown out. Likely because they are considered friends and/or family of the Idols and would be deemed illegible.
Itís Raining Men
The members of the Top 8 are introduced and have nothing remarkable to say. Theyíre all happy to be there, their families and communities all support them. Awesome. Save it for next weekís boring montages. You may have noticed that this yearís wild card performers are comprised mostly of guys. You may have noticed that in the Top 8, there are 7 girls and Rex. Okay, thereís Daryl. Not a boy, not yet a man. Something tells me that despite this yearís Ďvoting for the wild cardsí kerfluffle, someone out there wants to shift the balance of power, ever so slightly.
Itís time to find out this weekís top 3. Itís a very cruel process, giving 3 people hope, only to crush the dream of one all over again. Contrived drama, I say. I have never seen a more terrified group of people in my life. They all look like theyíve made the short list to be Tom Cruiseís new love interest and none of them want any part of it.
Luke, sorry, youíre done. Stephane, you also fail to make the top 3. Colour me surprised, as Stephane becomes this yearís Raj. Devika, thanks for coming out. Josh & Aaron? Get your skinny and not so skinny butts up to the centre stage because you make up 2 of the top 3 tonight.
That leaves Dianelys, Vince and Barrett all hanging. Ben takes a cue from his American counterpart and milks the last drop of contrived drama out of the situation. Also like Ryan, heís the only one thatís even remotely entertained. Finally, he reveals that Dianelys is in the top 3 and she rushes to judge Aaron & Josh. Her excitement is short lived, however. Aaron is revealed to be the top vote getter while Josh rounds out the Top 10. Finally. Some of these kids could use a good stylist.