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Thread: Canadian Idol 09/15 - A Tale of Two Beauties

  1. #1
    Evil Slash Crazy Miss Filangi's Avatar
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    Canadian Idol 09/15 - A Tale of Two Beauties

    Treasure that opening theme boys and girls. It’s the last time you’ll hear it for a while. Well, at least until early next year when AI4 begins. To be quite honest, I think with all the Idols the world is appointing, you’d think they’d be able to come up with a better opening.

    It’s the last week of competition and we’re down to Theresa and Kalan; two people that judges pegged early on to go far. In addition, the remaining 8 contestants from the Top 10 are in the audience tonight, their faces being rubbed into what could have been. Ben, who I’ve noticed has become much more relaxed as the season went on, actually manages to create some banter with the judges. I know, I was shocked too. Farley and Jake both give credit to the voters for their choices throughout the season and are both quite happy with the final two standing. Sass urges them to come out singing to one person because when they do that, they sing to them all. It was actually more profound than my description is, but let’s just say it was the most coherent and meaningful thing she’s said this season. This show is shaping up to be just full of surprises. Zack urges the voters not to vote for their favourites or who they think is the bigger heartthrob, but whose album they will want to buy. Two things Zack, if a contestant is your favourite, chance are likely you’d buy the CD before their competition. Secondly, the very audience you’re trying to address can’t hear you with all the screaming for Kalan going on. I’m guessing they’ll just miss your point entirely.

    You Have GOT To Be Kidding Me
    Theresa is first on deck with the upcoming single, Awake In A Dream, that the winner will have the privilege to record. Several things run through my mind.
    1. What a horrible song.
    2. Kalan will do infinitely better because he’ll at least have the ability make a rock ballad out of it.
    3. Poor Theresa.
    4. What a really horrible song.
    5. How relieved must Jacob be?
    6. This song is just pure cheese.
    7. When Kalan sings it, it will still suck.
    8. What a crappy first single this is going to be.
    9. Zack is going to hate this.

    For the most part, the judges loved it. Apparently they’ve all had a swig of Sass’ ‘water’ since the praise continues. I can only imagine they’re impressed by how she managed to do her best with the crapola she was handed. Of course, Zack is not impressed, but takes the opportunity to urge her, and Kalan by default, to step up and show some personality and spark. Apparently he feels they are missing something that someone like, oh I don’t know, Jacob, brought to the competition. I disagree with that comment as if I were Theresa, I’d make no attempt to make it my own or show any personality for fear of having to sing the song repeatedly.

    Shut UP Already!
    Kalan takes to the stage for his first song and has selected I Can Only Imagine, by Mercy Me. It’s a spiritual song that obviously means a great deal to him and I respect him for that. It’s a little bit self-defeating as there are about a hundred screaming fangirlies in the audience wanting to do things to him like lick his face or something. Poor Kalan.

    Like Theresa, he sings the song well enough, if not slow, dull and boring.
    Farley thought it took a little time to get into, but once he did, Kalan did what he does best. Sass once again trots out her line from last week and says he took some Medicine out of his Hat. Seriously Sass, it wasn’t clever the first time. Zack continues to rant and rave about saving the worst for last and begs and pleads for the two to give him something interesting, some personality. He’s almost like a 4 year old mid temper tantrum. Jake says he’s finding it hard to disagree and thought the performance was a little boring. The audience boos. Kalan looks as if he’s about to cry.

    Let’s Liven Things Up
    For weeks, I’ve been trying to figure out who Theresa reminds me of. Thank goodness she picked a Norah Jones song to make me realize that she reminds me of, well, Norah Jones. Theresa has selected Come Away With Me and has decided to kick it up a notch. Her arrangement is significantly more up-tempo and she does indeed put more personality and life into it.

    Afterwards, Sass makes a pitch for Theresa and says she hopes people will vote for who performed the best tonight and not for their favourites. Like Zack, that statement makes absolutely no sense. I can understand people being discouraged to vote along regional lines, but if someone is your favourite… ah, never mind. Zack says that between Kalan and Theresa, he knows whose CD he’ll have in his player, all the time. All the time Zack? Even I have been known to take my ABBA Gold out of my player now and again. Jake also joins the love fest when he predicts that one day Norah Jones will be covering her songs. Farley says he loves that when her right shoulder starts bouncing, he can tell she’s having a great time.

    Having The Personality Scared Into You
    Kalan’s back with his next song, Born To Be Wild. After almost breaking into tears last time out, Kalan has decided to break out of his shell after 10 weeks and well, acts like he’s born to be wild.

    Zack is thrilled that Kalan finally paid any attention to him, or maybe just felt that someone filled the Jacob void that Zack is desperately missing. He says stepped out, took risks and it was rock and roll for a change. Jake says he never believed Kalan was born to be wild… until now. Farley says he’s not surprised and knew he had it in him. Of course you did Farley, you did predict he was going to make it to the finals way back when. Sass also praises Kalan and comes dangerously close to coming on to him.

    Instant Failure
    CTV has a new show this season. Since Canadian Idol is possibly the most successful Canadian TV show this side of Hockey Night In Canada, it’s time for Jon Dore to help pimp the new show. It’s called Instant Star, about a supposed 15 year old winner of a competition that manages to flirt with producers on her way to superstardom. Uh, I swear she said 15. Ick. The star of the show seems very affected and I have no interest in following the show. If people didn’t really flock to follow the career path of Ryan Malcolm, I’m not convinced they’ll watch a fake winner of a singing competition either.

    Last Chance At Glory
    It’s Theresa’s last song of the evening and she’s decided to sing Cruisin’ once more. I’d have rather seen her pick Good Mother, mainly because this song gives me big Gwyneth Paltrow/Huey Lewis/Icky vibes. Theresa’s confident, comfortable and just this shy of a deodorant commercial.

    Jake loves it and says this time next summer we’ll all be cruisin’ to Theresa’s latest song. I think he’s just a tad optimistic. Farley again admits to having so much fun watching Theresa when she’s enjoying herself. Sass says it was a great performance and when she hits those big notes, the audience freaks… in a good way. Zack reiterates that this is a competition and she managed to show people what she’s all about and what she can offer.

    We May Be Hearing This Song A Lot
    To close out the show, Kalan is back with his take on Awake In A Dream. As I predicted, he manages to do what he can with it and takes the rock ballad approach to it. I still hate it, but he does what he can do with it and I have to give him credit for that.

    Farley congratulates him on a great job and says he has lots of opportunities with that job. Sass says she loves when he kicks it up a notch. Zack says crappy song notwithstanding, the headlines will read Friday morning, Little Prince Crowned King. Or something like that. Jake says it was a great performance, but begs him to put some rock songs on his album when he wins.

    Well, that’s the last performance show. Next time, we find out who wins. Will it be an upset? I have no idea, it’s still halfway through the show where I am!
    If you go through a lot of hammers each month, I don't think it necessarily means you're a hard worker.
    It may just mean that you have a lot to learn about proper hammer maintenance.

  2. #2
    Quote Originally Posted by Miss Filangi
    It’s a little bit self-defeating as there are about a hundred screaming fangirlies in the audience wanting to do things to him like lick his face or something. Poor Kalan.

    Great recap, Miss F! What was with Zack's, then Sass', comments about not voting for your favourite contestant? Is this not the entire point of the competition? Vote for who you want to win because ultimately, that is the music you'll be buying? Even if the grrrls voted for Kalan because he's cute, they will still buy his album. Look at the fanbase and success of the not-so-talented Backstreet Boys and 'NSYNC. Guess Zack was using any means necessary to turn the votes from Kalan to Theresa.

  3. #3
    Great, snarky report Miss F.

  4. #4

    is it really true about kalan?

    Hey everyone, fellow kalan-aholics!!! My name is Jasmin and I need the truth about something I heard today. My big sister and her friends said that they heard on the radio that Theresa and Kalan are dating, and they did seem pretty close during there duet on the dfinal show, but I think they could be just saying that to bug me because they know that I have this totally massive crush on him. I am from Stettler Alberta, whcih isnt far from Medicine Hat, so I think there is a chance that we could meet each other some day. So if ANYONE knows ANYTHING about this, pleasepleaseplease just give me total truth, I really need to know.

    Thanks a bunch!!


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