Canadian Idol 07/28 Ė Weíll Be Kicked Out of the Commonwealth
A strange thing happened to me while watching this episode of Canadian Idol.
As the intro ran, I actually paid attention to it. I sat, transfixed on the Robotic Idol. Did you ever notice he twirls that microphone at least 3 times? Several things ran through my head. Why is he twirling it? What does it have to do with anything? Is that supposed to indicate heís an impressive performer? Why bother morphing the male Idol into a female Idol when they essentially look the same? What would this Idol sound like? Would he have a computer generated voice? I canít imagine that would be appealing, although he certainly could make a song his own. But most importantly, why does each installment of the Idol programs insist on running this intro? While itís kept me more than busy over the past few minutes, itís certainly not impressive, unless youíve been living in a cage for 10 years and find the computer generated graphics spellbinding. Which I donít, by the way.
Made In Britian
Ben in dressed in a pink shirt tonight under his suit. Perhaps heís hoping Sass will call him a real man tonight. (Spoiler alert: She doesnít!) He makes the same lame intro about how much power the Canadian people have, as we will determine the fate of one of the nine contestants tonight. Actually Ben, if we had any power, youíd likely be gone. Then Ben makes an analogy about Spiderman that, Iíll admit, I didnít get at first. Although itís not supposed to make sense, itís a cross promotion after all.
The judges and performers are introduced and I notice all the different looks of the group. Joshua has straightened his hair, Theresa has contacts in tonight, Kaleb needs a stylist since heís wearing a powder blue hat and a bright yellow shirt and Jacob is in a jogging suit. I guess that means we wonít be in for any over the top performances from him tonight, huh?
Heís What Theyíd Call A Nutter
Jacob, the last performer of last week is the first to take to the stage tonight. Heís chosen David Bowieís Space Oddity and begins with a cape/blanket with stars draped over him. After he sings the first verse, he reveals his tight, very tight Bowie inspired outfit, complete with eye makeup. Before I can form any sort of opinion, Jacob starts doing some bizarre interpretive dance. It had none of the charm of last weekís performance, but was still an admirable job. At least he didnít embarrass himselfÖ well, I guess that depends on who you talk to.
Not surprisingly, the judges love it. Jake says no one in an Idol competition has used props like he does in a performance. Bowie would have been proud. Farley thought it was all over map, but comments that there was one more prop he should have added. Jacob flushes a bit. I imagine Farley wasnít referring to a feather boa. Sass loved the interpretive dance and thinks itís a shame he was first as she looks forward to him each time. Zack says Jacob is what he is and doesnít even need to say anything. Zack, Zack, Zack. What a copout. You say that when theyíre horrible, you say that when theyíre terrific, you say that when they are boring as all get out. Make up your mind or at least try to find something to say. Jake always uses ĎGreat Jobí when heís stuck, maybe you should try it too.
A Little Fall From Grace
Theresa follows with Hermanís Hermits Thereís a Kind of Hush. Theresa looks great, but the song blows. Not that itís her fault, she didnít write it. For the first time, I am bored as she sings. Iíve never been a fan, but I was trying to fast forward, forgetting I watched it live. Theresa kind of sways and smiles and sways and smiles. Her voice, as always, is terrific, but itís lacking something.
I assume that the judges will gush as usual, but Iím mistaken. Farley tries to be kind and says it was a tough song to get a serious reaction from but her enthusiasm sold it. Sass says she loves Theresa, but didnít love the performance since it was not inspired or what sheís capable of. The crowd boos. Zack says heís glad Sassy got booed for a change, because she reminds him of Marie Osmond. Zack then pleads with Theresa not to make the wrong song choice again. Jake agrees that itís a tough song and as heís about to question why she would select such a crappy song, Theresa explains that she sang it for her mom. The crowd applauds Theresa and Jake says thatís all the more reason to do it, sheepishly trying to remove the foot from his mouth.
Same Old, Same Old
Jason Greeley is next with another Elton John song, Saturday Nightís All Right for Fighting. Heís dressed exactly the same as last week with the jeans, jacket and t-shirt, but has adorned his belt with the Union Jack. Very cool touch. Jason sings like the high energy rocker he aspires to be with the smile frozen on his face. Meh. Itís not good, itís not bad. It is what it is.
Sass says Jason is what Newfoundland stands for, heís a man of the people, and chooses the right songs. Sass, heís trying to win a competition, not running for office. Zack says heíd be cool if he saw him at a bar band, but dude, (notice Zack says dude a lot lately? I think someoneís on the verge of a midlife crisis) if he wants to compete, heís have to step up and give some real sense of who his is. Jake argues that this is who he is and Jason should keep it up. Farley says heís 100% on the other side of Zack and thinks heís the same kid who asked Farley for his shirt back in Newfoundland. Excuse me? Iíd wonder what that was about if Farley wasnít so impeccably dressed week after week. At least the kid can recognize style, even if he doesnít incorporate his own wardrobe.
Taking to the stage is Kaleb, with Tears in Heaven. Heís still dressed in the horrible yellow shirt and blue hat but mercifully removes the hat after the first verse. Great, now I can concentrate. Kaleb sings with a lot of heart and his own patented style. I donít love him, but I appreciate his voice unlike another singer from Nova Scotia that ALSO liked to twist and play with the original melody. At least Kaleb doesnít destroy the songs.
Zack thinks the performance was slightly over the heads of some of the viewers, but thinks heís ridiculously brilliant. J says heís got more soul than everyone in the room. Farley echoes Jake and canít say enough about what he does. Sass thinks heís the real deal and urges him to keep reigning it in.
First Alanis, Now Sheryl
Elena follows with Cat Stevensí First Cut Is The Deepest, recently covered by Sheryl Crow. Iím not sure if youíre familiar with Cat Stevensí version, but it sounds quite a bit different than Sheryl Crowís. Guess whose version Elena tries to sound like. And as much as I want to like Elena, I canít. I find that she tries to emulate someone else rather than finding her own voice.
Jake says the challenge is to take a lame song and make it great and believes that Elena did just that. Farley says itís all about finding star search moments and there were many in her performance. I realize itís still early in the season, but can we please retire the ĎStar Search Momentí thing?
Sass thinks that if she wants to sing like that, she should find a song that works. She thought it was too overwrought and just plain awful. Zack agrees, adding that she over sang by a million miles.
How To Learn From Criticism
The man formerly known as the Greatest Canadian Hero, Josh, and his newly straightened hair has selected Where The Streets Have No Name. You know, by U2. Who are actually Irish. And this is British Invasion night. Would Bono be happy with being lumped in with the British? After the judges criticized him for playing it safe last week, Josh has obviously heeded their advise. Josh has certainly done his best to liven up his performance and pour as much of his heart and his energy into it. He hits several big notes and while it isnít the strongest performance of the night, heís certainly tried the hardest.
Farley congratulates him on upping his game on the entertainment side. Sass says itís first time she actually believed him, but it was not the best performance. Z says he got a serious Kurt Nilsson vibe and though heís not the best singer, he showed a lot of heart. Jake says itís nice to see he listened to him, back when Jake suggested he should sing U2 and thinks it worked for him.
Canadaís answer to the intermission, Jon Dore, takes the opportunity to thank the Mother Country for several things. Thanks to Britian, we enjoy tea, wizards, werewolves and Mr. Belvedere. Well, I canít say I was a Mr. Belvedere fan, but okay. Most of all, of course, we thank England for the Idol franchise. Jon encourages everyone to hug a British person the next time we encounter one. I say we all hug our own Queen, Fluff.
Actually, Youíre No Gwen Stefani, Pink or Annie Lennox
Manoah gets it started after the break with Sweet Dreams. She is dressed like Annie Lennox in suit, but looks exactly like Gwen Stefani. Manoah is trying harder to vamp it up than concentrate on singing the song.
Sass says she appreciates the theatrics, but not the singing. Manoah pouts. Zack says she gives him a really amateur night vibe. Manoah sarcastically snaps, ĎThanks Zackí. Jakes says the theatrics were great, a bit rushed but the end was great, obviously afraid to get on her bad side. Farley says heís not a big fan, and has never been in her corner but he half heartedly says he hope sheíll convince him. Manoah is not impressed and thinks she was wonderful.
Canadaís Answer To Prince William
The girls in the crowd are going wild, that must mean itís time for the Golden Boy. Oh look it is, as Kalan takes to the stage to sing House of Rising Sun. Kalan is an engaging performer. The guy is undeniably good and extremely versatile, he seems to be able to sing about anything.
Zack says he hates to say he took a song and made it his own, but Kalan took the song and made it brilliant. Jake says he did a great job and thereís nothing more to say. Farley thinks heís a raw talent and his future is unbelievable. Sass says the clarity of his tone adds up to one thing, winner. Sass, how does one thing add up to anything?
How NOT To Learn From Criticism
Shane round off the night with Something About The Way You Look Tonight. Itís a sad song and Iím a little bit disappointed as I thought heíd do a better job. He does try to give it his all, but I ainít buying it.
Jake says it might be technically the best performance of the night but wonders if he flies planes why canít he take chances? Jake says Shane played it safe and it was a fairly bland performance. Farley disagrees and thinks he took chances tonight and did a good job. Sass says she really liked it except for one small mistake. Zack says for the first time he showed some glimmer of what he could do and he was impressed.
Ben tries to console Shane saying that as a man that knows bland, who has vanilla pouring through his veins, he doesnít think Shane was bland. Perhaps Ben doesnít welcome the competition.
Well, thatís it for the Top 9. I was a bit disappointed in the song choices. Where were the Rolling Stones? The Beatles? Oasis? Oh well, Vive La Angleterre!