Canadian Idol 07/22 – Highs and Lows of the Camera Hogs
Can you feel the excitement? It’s the first results episode of the Canadian Idol Top 10! Ben sure is excited, even though it means someone goes home. This guy has a way of making everything seem exciting, doesn’t? I’m pretty sure that in every single episode so far, he’s made it out to be the most exciting show yet! YET!!! Sorry, that’s what Ben would say if he was writing this recap. Fortunately for you, he isn’t. But unfortunately for you, my computer is under attack by a very, very nasty Trojan and I’m not happy. In fact, I’ve been sitting in front of the computer for 6 hours now trying to get rid of it with no success. That means a trip to the computer doctor tomorrow morning and I’m very cranky. Be afraid, be very afraid.
We’re Not A Rhythm Nation
Back to the show and back to the performers. As is customary at this stage of the competition, the top ten finalists perform a group number. All ten performers bounce out onto the stage, well, some of them, Kalan kind of sauntered, to You Make Me So Very Happy. As much as I hate to admit it, there isn’t a weak voice in the bunch and they make the song tolerable, not an easy thing to do if you know the song. In addition, many of the performers, perhaps fearing that their time is winding to an end, take the opportunity to ham it up. Some of them, (oh,JasonJoshuaShane andacertainblondeteacherfromSa skatchewan, practically trip over themselves trying to throw themselves in front of the camera. They can’t even blame it on the choreography, which consisted of bending one knee and then the other. What was that about?
Again, as customary at this stage in the competition, the finalists move into their own mansion. Since he doesn’t have anything else to do, Jon Dore is armed with a camera and his special brand of annoying to accompany them. In short, the mansion is as beautiful as you’d expect. Hot tub, games room, pool and monogrammed bathrobes with the Canadian Idol logo on them. All the competitors seem very impressed and Jacob runs around with his video camera. To top off the segment, Jon jumps into the pool in his speedo. I run to get some bleach.
Terror In Basset Theatre
All this fun and merriment is all well and good, but there are about 10 minutes left and we need to boot someone off. The Idols are all assembled on the couches and almost every single one of them has the fear of God in their eyes. Ben explains that the three lowest vote getters will take to the centre stage where they will stand there like and idiot until one of them is sent home. Seriously, someone took away the stools or something.
Ben runs through the back row where Elena, Kalan, Theresa and Kaleb all sit in fear. They are terrified. Even Kalan and Theresa, who had to know that they weren’t going anywhere, were trembling with fear. One by one, Ben tells them they’re safe. One by one, they breathe a long, long sigh of relief. But not a fake sigh of relief as Clay Aiken was so famous for, a sincere sign of relief. Kaleb, who likely was also in no danger of going anywhere, physically winced while he waited for Ben to reveal the answer. I’m not sure if he was for real or if he was trying to hone in on Jacob’s role of ‘quirky, weird guy’, but it was awkward and strange all the same. After all is said and done, Manoah, Brandy and Joshua find themselves in the bottom three.
Ben polls the judges for their reactions. Zack is outraged. Why, I’m not sure since after four of them sang, he said he wanted to change the channel and those three made up 75% of the four in question. I can’t figure out Zack this year. Sass reminds the three of them that Ryan Malcolm wound up in the bottom three twice last year. I’d like to remind everyone that Ryan Malcolm, despite being the Canadian Idol, was certainly not the demigod that everyone seems to think. At least four of the other finalists last year were superior to Ryan and Ryan managed to slip through the cracks. I like Ryan, I really do, but please. Billy Klippert will always be my Canadian Idol.
Farley is given the unfortunate task of naming who he believes will be sent packing. He predicts Manoah. I giggle. Jake thinks that Shane may have dodged a bullet this week, but will have to step it up next week.
And The Loser Is…
The first to be sent back to the couch is Joshua. Josh gives sincere hugs to both girls and walks back to the couch, obviously pained that his time in the spotlight is over. After the break, Ben announces that Brandy is the first top ten finalist to be sent home.
Brandy thanks all of Canada and promises that we’ll see more of her in the future. As she begins her farewell song, the rest of the finalists join her on stage. I’m sorry, I’m sure the intent is to rally behind Brandy, but I hate that this is her last moment in the spotlight and everyone has to join in. I hate it on AI, I hate it here. Impressively, both Kalan and Jacob pointedly stand back a bit, doing their best to give Brandy the spotlight she deserves. Some of the other camera hogs do their best to force their way into Brandy’s shot. Ah, Stardom. So elusive. So seductive. So tacky.
Next Week: The Top Nine perform and I may just get my computer fixed!