Canadian Idol 06/17 - Itís All About The Curly, Blonde Hair
Isnít it sad that the best part of the show is the extended commercial?
Mulroney Out Ė No Really, Please Leave
Ben starts the show with that same annoying level of vapid excitement that weíve all come to hate. Heís obviously studied Ryan Seacrest at great length in the off season as he appears disheveled as though he just crawled out of bed. Check and check on the Seacrest checklist. Wisely, Ben doesnít attempt banter with the judges and just introduces them by name without giving them a chance to respond. This obviously catches the judges off guard and at least two appear very put off by it all. Nice work, Ben.
We get the usual recap of the night before. Ben tries very hard to make the show seem more interesting than it wasnít. Donít worry Ben, even a pro like Ryan couldnít have pulled that off. Since itís obvious that Ben canít fill the show himself, we turn toÖ
Jon appears to share his exciting evening with the Idols. He took them to see Spiderman 2. Wow. That is exciting. What a glamourous life they lead. I bet theyíre all thrilled that they took a hiatus from their everyday lives so they could go to a deserted theater with Jon Dore. Yes, they saw the movie two weeks before everyone else, but that really is only exciting to people that would never actually admit to another living being that they find it exciting.
In any case, Ben and Jon have an obviously rehearsed, very awkward and uncomfortable Ďskití. Itís more like a tantrum, but since Ben is trying so hard, Iíll let it go. Ben claims heís very upset that he wasnít invited. Jon apologizes. Laughter does not ensue, proving that the audience is more intelligent than the talent. Why Jon couldnít have pointed out that Ben was likely taping one of his important episodes of Etalk Daily, Iíll never know.
Fortunately, they end the skit and cut to an extended version of the Spiderman trailer. Followed by a LíOreal commercial, of course. I will give Ben credit though, he had his best line of the night when coming back from the break he immediately promised the results right after the break. He was almost funny. Almost.
And Now For Something Completely Different
Enough with the Ben analysis, (which should indicate how bored I was by this group) itís time to reveal the results of Canadaís vote. Ben asks the judges to predict the results. The judges all come up with a mix of Jessica, Josh, Brandy and Raj. Farley even goes so far as to hint itís all about the ĎJaysí and then makes a bat swinging motion. Oh Farley, no one even cares about the Jays anymore. Thatís so 1994.
Ben begins to reveal the results to the anxious competitors. First member of the top three is Brandy. Iím most surprised when Ben announces that Raj doesnít go through. Jessica and Josh complete the top three. All are very thrilled to advance. Well, advance for the next 5 minutes until one of them is cut.
The first to advance to the Top 10, with the highest amount of votes, is Joshua. Everyone, including Josh, is somewhat surprised. He takes the mic and sings [i]Somewhere Out There[/b]. To his credit, he does a much better job than the night before.
The Best of The Mediocre
Ben asks the judges what they think so far and who they think will advance of the remaining competitors. Farley reiterates that itís all about the Jís. Zack says it doesnít matter because neither of them deserve to be there. Sass believes that Canadians are voting the way they are because itís Canada and they CAN. Ah, thereís the old incoherent Sass we all know. Jake takes the high road and says both girls are great singers.
Brandy is the other singer to advance to the Top 10. Jessica heads back to the couch dejected, crashing so quickly after her high from earlier. Before Brandy sings, Ben tells the depressed group on the couch that they have a shot at the wild card, so donít despair. They donít seem comforted, what with being the sucky group and all. Brandy does give a stronger performance to close out the show.
Next Week Ė Group Two performs. If they sing half asleep, chances are theyíll be more entertaining than this group was.