Canadian Idol 06/10 – Tears, More Tears and What Did Ryan Do To His Hair?
Hey did you know that there’s an upcoming election in Canada? If you didn’t, you must have been on a bathroom break during every single commercial break during this episode of Canadian Idol. I can’t say I blame them. If you like voting for Canadian Idol, you’ll love to vote in the federal election! Or something like that.
Say You, Say Me
For the next phase of the competition, the hopefuls will partner up for a duet performance. As they practice, Jon decides to go with his strength and runs around like a jackass. And he wears a neck brace. What is his purpose again? He barges in on private practice sessions in their rooms and pillow fights ensue. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he was trying to sabotage some of the kids’ chances. Nah, he’s just a jackass.
The singers go before the four judges and I can’t help notice Farley’s huge pipes bursting out under his tight shirt. Who knew Farley was so built? Obviously Sass isn’t the only judge trying to distance herself from her American counterpart. Several groups opt to sing Islands in the Stream and do a surprisingly good job of it. Brock and Jerrica, two of the youngest singers in the competition, turn in a sweet performance while Joshua and Anna are borderline nauseating and unremarkable. Jacob, the guy with the lip piercing and his partner Elena choose the same song and put a fun twist to it. Zack and Jake both confess they never liked Jacob until this performance. Both Jacob and Elena are thrilled.
Later, Chhaya and Kaleb take to the stage with Put A Little Love In Your Heart. Kaleb blanks on the words and tries to cover with the classic surefire strategy of mumbling. Yeah, that’ll fool ‘em. Afterwards, Zack confronts the pair and asks if they’ve practiced at all. Kaleb says yes, but Chhaya says no. Then Chhaya confesses to the judges that she tried to practice, but it was more like babysitting. Zack rips into Kaleb and tells the young singer he thinks he’s either completely immature or just not interested in the competition. Backstage, Chhaya tries to explain to her partner that she thought it would be better to lie about practicing than to tell the truth and look pitiful. Kaleb is not convinced. No word on Chhaya’s reasoning for trying to shift the blame to her partner.
Match Game – Sweet. Chesse. Sleazy.
Convinced that singing isn’t enough, several of the duos try to add a little flair to their performance. Jason and Danielle choreograph their duet, which Jason ends with a quick kiss of his partners’ hand. Jake tells Jason he’s all cheese and asks the pair to resing their song, but without the theatrics. The retake is a huge improvement.
Strong singers Theresa and Mohanza pair up to sing Unforgettable and are equal parts classy, sweet and memorable. All the judges are impressed with the performance. Juxtaposed with their version of the song is Manoah and Jermaine. Manoah forgets she’s singing and not acting in a bad porn as she pretty much moans and strokes Jermaine’s chest all the way through. When Jake teases Manoah for her over the top performance, she defends herself by reminding the judges that she’s a school teacher. Yeah. I’m sure the students are just beaming with pride.
The judges trim the group down to 37 and call each pair up to deliver the news. In many cases, the partners share the same fate. In others, only one is sent home. Among those going home is Chhaya, while partner Kaleb gets to stay. Chhaya is annoyed and they don’t even hug goodbye. I guess she’s a bit annoyed that her ‘babysitting my partner’ ploy didn’t score her many points. Backstage, the floodgates are once again opened as the eliminated Idols say goodbye to one another. Tears of joy, tears of relief, tears of sadness. These are emotional people.
On My Own Again
For the final stage of this part of the competition, the remaining contestants will sing individually, a cappella, for the judges; just like they did to earn their ticket to Toronto. All performers are given a two minute limit. Most of the singers are tense, nervous and stressed right out. Nerves aside, many of them turn in great performances. Mohanza nails When a Man Loves A Woman, Valerie makes Nobody Does It Better her own, as they say, and Anabelle impresses the judges with Unbreak My Heart.
Kalan, who has been very strong so far, forgets the words to When A Man Loves A Woman and is very disappointed in himself. Turns out, the song is more difficult than you may believe as Constant, Dave, Shane, Bernard and Mark all seem to have problems with the words as well. Some of them even go so far as to make up lyrics and others take it further by making up a whole new song, complete with a whole new tune. Impressive, given they are only there for 2 minutes.
Among the other memorable performances is Fabian, convinced he’s lost his voice, even though he seems to be speaking with no problem. As he enters the auditorium, he announces to the judges he will not be singing. Zack tells him if he doesn’t sing, he’s out. Jake and Farley encourage him to sing a little bit. Fabian sings a line, which sounds pretty good for someone who claims to have lost his voice. Fabian then stops and quits. It doesn’t look good for Fabian.
One of the gutsier performances comes from Roz, who left earlier in the day to pay his respects to his uncle, who just passed away from a long illness. He sings a heartfelt My Cheri Amour even though he admits he felt sad singing the love song. His performance earns him a ‘thumbs up’ from Farley, who is still looking quite buff, by the way.
Over an unnamed performer singing I Will Remember, the singers worry and comment on their performances, afraid that it’s the end of the road. More people cry. They don’t even know if they’re leaving or advancing and they’re crying. If you want to cry, cry for some of those fashion choices. Yeeesh.
Yay! We’re Done With The Mass Performances!
The judges head to the war room for the final time to determine the final 32. Oddly enough, Sass plays the heavy, refusing to support some of the choices that all the guys are behind. Perhaps she’s not as impressed with a nice ass as the guys are. The judges head to the rooms, slow motion style naturally, to deliver the bad news. Sass tells the first group that she fought very hard for some of them, but that they are going <insert dramatic pause> to the next round. Really, isn’t this ‘faking out the kids crap’ getting a bit old? Maybe it’s just me. It’s over to room number two where Zack gets choked up telling them it’s been an honour to have met them, but they are going home. Simon would *so* never have done that.
Finally, the room stacked with familiar faces, Joshua, Brock, Jerrica and Kaleb awaits their fate. Jake tells them that they were a disappointment, but they’re all advancing anyway. I don’t get it, but they don’t seem to care as everyone celebrates and yes, cry some more.
Who Were They Performing For?
The final 32 head over to the Duchess of Wales Theatre for a performance. I’m sorry, I swear the theatre was empty. In any case, they break out into Ain’t No Mountain High Enough, a cheesy song at any time, but especially so with a bunch of Canadian Idol hopefuls. But wait, adding to the cheese factor is the appearance of Mr. Canadian Idol himself, Ryan Malcolm. Ryan seems to have a blonde mohawk. Wait, here comes last season’s runner up Gary Beals! And isn’t that Audrey de Montigny? However, I must confess that I actually let out a squeal when I saw Billy Klippert, my favourite from last season. I’m not proud, especially given we caught him on a bad hair day. Although, perhaps not quite as bad as his buddy Ryan’s.
Next week, the competition begins and the voting is turned over to the Canadian public. Odds are we can expect a few hundred more commercials for that other vote.