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Thread: Canadian Idol – 06/09 - If You Want To Win, You Need To Learn The Words

  1. #1
    Evil Slash Crazy Miss Filangi's Avatar
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    Canadian Idol – 06/09 - If You Want To Win, You Need To Learn The Words

    Canadian Idol – 06/09 - If You Want To Win, You Need To Learn The Words

    Last week, we were told about 121 times that 100 people would advance from the city auditions. Turns out someone lied because 155 people are actually advancing. That’s more than 50% more people. And what better way to start off the show by visiting those 55 people in their hometowns about to make their way to Toronto? Well, I could probably think of better ways, but I’m not a Canadian Idol producer?

    Let’s Get On With It
    The Idol hopefuls all make their way to Toronto, many for the very first time. They all marvel at the many sights in Canada’s largest city, The CN Tower, The Skydome, The ACC. And well, that’s about it, really. Interestingly enough, they didn’t run into any squeegee kids, and you haven’t really experienced Toronto until you’ve seen squeegee kids down by Lakeshore and the Gardiner Expressway. Soon they make their way towards the Skydome, once again, since the World’s Greatest Entertainment Centre™ will be home to the future Canadian Idols for the next few days, or one day, depending on how good you are. I just want to know why the World’s Greatest Entertainment Centre™ has so many vacant rooms for these virtual nobodies. The hopefuls quickly begin to get to know one another, some try more than others, as some generic blonde girl tries to latch herself onto Josh. She must not have seen the footage from Josh sleeping in his crappy car for days.

    Back Row – Get The Hell Out of Here
    As in American Idol and the last Canadian Idol, the first phase of the competition will consist of solo performances. Then, on the spot, the judges will send people home. Not only do I hate this particular phase of the competition, it moves at such a rapid pace and it’s near impossible to catch anyone’s name. In other words, that is my excuse for not getting everyone’s name.

    The group of 155 + the 4 Judges + the Idiot Twins assemble in the Basset Theatre, where the top 10 will eventually compete. Ben, in one of his rare appearances in this episode, tells us that by the end of the day, a quarter of the competitors will be gone. Hope you enjoyed the sights of Toronto kids, you may not have much time to experience it. Before they sing, the judges give a bit of a pep talk. Well, all of them but Sass, interestingly enough, who asks them not to bore her. She is really out to be the anti-Paula this year, isn’t she?

    The performers begin. Kalen sings Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me. The audience loves it. Daniel, aka Jon’s brother, sings All Night Long. The audience loves it. Jermaine gives a strong performance of Circle of Life. The audience loves it. I get the feeling this group would wildly applaud the Jingle Cats that meow Jingle Bells each Christmas. Despite all the wonderful performances, the judges call the singers forward to divide them into two rows. Inevitably, one of the rows go home. Usually it’s the back row, but sometimes they mix it up and send the front row home. It’s always incredibly awkward and I can never keep track of who stays and who goes. There aren’t enough drama queens this year, if you ask me.

    Remember Kirk from the St. John’s audition that never made it off the Rock? Remember how we were treated to a bit of background on his friendship with Adam, also from Newfoundland? We even saw a bit of him to start the episode as he made his way to Toronto. Well, after his buddy Adam performed Try, we saw Kirk kind of yell his version of You Raise Me Up. Soon, everyone from Kirk’s group is called forward to the front row. The back row, consisting solely of Kirk, is sent home. Ouch. Adam is obviously shaken by Kirk’s elimination, even though he advanced. Later, we learn Adam quits the competition.

    How Do You NOT Know The Words to Your Song?
    It’s time for the group portion of the competition. Although the performers will be in groups, everyone will still be judged on personal performances in order to not be hurt by a crappy partner. Unfortunately, some of the singers forget this, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

    Most of the groups seem to be working very hard. In fact, I don’t think we really saw any groups that were screwing around. That was left solely for Jon, who decided to annoy the competitors who were already stressed out enough as it is. Some of the groups coordinate their outfits and dance moves, while some bitch and moan about having to get up early in the morning. Then others, like Willy from Nova Scotia, was having problems with learning the lyrics to Your Song. He decides the best place to learn the words is in the bathroom. Meanwhile, in lieu of helping their partner, who must obviously know the words themselves, Albert and Mike discuss how much difficulty Willy is having.

    The group performances start off well. Rebecca, Amna & Nicole give a very well rehearsed performance of Emotions and impress the judges. Farmboy Brock from Ontario, is part of one of many groups to sing Your Song, and they don’t do a good job. Afterwards, the whiny blonde kid from Brock’s group decides to pull his prima donna act and blame it on the group. Yes, that’s because his contribution just blew the judges away. Or so you would be led to believe by whiny blonde kid. Whiny blonde kid would do well to take a cue from many of the other performers who are quick to praise their partners even when they themselves faltered.

    Practice proves to be key as Mohanza’s group impresses the judges with She’s A Lady. Or perhaps they were just thrilled to hear a different song, as performance after performance of Your Song is given.

    Speaking of Your Song, it’s time to discover if Willy learned the words in time. Turns out, his group member Albert could have benefited from some time in the bathroom learning the lyrics to the song, as Albert draws a blank and struggles to remember the words. Turned out, Willy didn’t fare much better as he stood for almost the entire performance with his mouth closed. Zach comments on Willy’s lack of participation, but Willy insists he knows the song. Zach asks him to sing the first verse. Willy draws a blank. The group is dismissed, but before they can get out the door, Farley calls after then, scolding them for not practicing and working to learn the words. It seems like Farley is also making a bid for Mean Judge this year. We may have more than one competition this year.

    Go To Your Rooms
    While the judges confer in their war room, tension mounts as the hopefuls sit and wait. Finally, the hopefuls are split up into four separate rooms, often divided from their group partners. Whiny blonde kid is sure this is a good sign as he’s separated from his group and he’s much superior to them.

    The judges travel from room to room delivering the news to the nervous competitors. Zach tells the first group that they are safe. They are thrilled. Farley tells the next group that they too get to stay another day. Again, they are thrilled. Sass tells the next group that they are headed home and eliminated from the competition. Oh those crazy producers… making sweet, nice, Sass give the bad news when no one expected Sass to eliminate them.

    All four groups are reunited to discover who goes on and who has been eliminated. Those that are still in the competition celebrate like the Flames just won the Stanley Cup. (Sorry, too soon?) Zach points out that it’s nice that they’re happy, but there are still 80 and many of these people celebrating will be sent packing the very next day.

    Ah, the highs and lows of a Canadian Idol.

    Tune in tomorrow where we’ll see more singers whose names I forget sing, while Zach yells at them to bring it on and be proud of where they came from. I’m guessing by tomorrow’s episode we’ll also figure out what the heck he was talking about.
    If you go through a lot of hammers each month, I don't think it necessarily means you're a hard worker.
    It may just mean that you have a lot to learn about proper hammer maintenance.

  2. #2
    Anarchist AJane's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    I love the jingle cats

    Great recap, Miss F.
    All my life, I have felt destiny tugging at my sleeve.~ Thursday Next
    I don't want to "go with the flow". The flow just washes you down the drain. I want to fight the flow.- Henry Rollins
    All this spiritual talk is great and everything...but at the end of the day, there's nothing like a pair of skinny jeans. - Jillian Michaels

  3. #3
    Great re-cap, Miss Filangi. Lots of funny bits...

  4. #4
    Whiny blond kid - loved it He sure is annoying! Almost as bad as Jon Dore - that guy is so unneccessary and bugs the hell out of me. Show me Canadian kids singing already :phhht

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