Truly faBOO Shazz!!! I laughed from start to finish!
My favorite section:
“Wow, it’s like I Overreact to EVERYthing!” – putting words in Britney’s mouth
Briney and Kevin are packed on their bus when they get a “scare” at the French/Spanish border. Britney’s freaked because her bus driver is getting “interrogated” by the border patrol. “Interrogated” here = “talked to casually”. In her eyes: they're going down in flames. She’s ehscared. The border patrol has dogs sniffin' up all their luggage and Britney takes that as her cue to leave a last message to “the world” . Because of it’s poignancy and lucidity, I include it here:
"I love you guys. This is it. I’m about to die. And they’re going to take me away for-ev-er” <----says this in little girl’s voice. “If anybody finds this tape, I just want to be remembered as a good person, that’s all.” She finishes by saying wow, that was kind of deep. Yes, yes it was. <---- more lies.
Kevin is pretty much chilled, thinking that this big freak out of hers is actually cute. Apparently, also cute, is the way she feels sorry for the border patrol for having a boring job. Boring because they have to *gasp* wear the SAME THING every day. Ahhhh! *screams* She's grateful that she gets to gussy up and get pretty every day. According to her, life without sequined spandex = hell. For once, I concur. *adjusts unitard*