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Thread: Britney and Kevin Premiere: More Baked than Betty Crocker

  1. #11
    Loaded God Complex MajiH's Avatar
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    Oh, wow. I didn't tune in, won't ever tune in and, seriously, feel you need to be nominated for a purple heart or something. Man, that sounded painful.

  2. #12
    LG.
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    FORT Writer LG.'s Avatar
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    oh magnificent job, Shaz. I loved it:
    What Britney wants in a man-whore: someone who doesn't know jack. A little boy. A man child. She has seen the world, and apparently wants someone who’s only seen the inside of a darkened box.
    So true, and so is this
    the passage of 1800 seconds feels like the movement of the tectonic plates.
    if only it would move as quickly as continental drift . . .

  3. #13
    When I'm 64 William13's Avatar
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    There is absolutely no way that anyone could have made me watch this show. I wouldn't even have read the recap, except that I when I saw who was the author I thought that the recap would have to be entertaining (and I also thought it important to give you some moral support for having watched the show - if watching Britney had been one of the seven labours of Hercules he never would have made it). If you can continue to be an eternal optomist after watching this show, you are an amazing person.

    Not suprisingly, you have written a very funny recap..

    When I was wee, my dad had an 8mm camera. He once captured a lengthy, 30 minute sequence of my oldest brother…….feeding a duck. That was gold , babies, G-O-L-D (<---should shimmer) compared to this! Britney and Kevin? Soo the Ishtar of the Reality TV world. And that duck had charisma, man.
    You should submit that tape to the networks. That I would watch. Thanks for the entertainment.

  4. #14
    FORT Freak laura302's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alanna
    Oh.my.gawd. Priceless. Didn't see the show but if it's 1/2 as funny as this, it's golden. Thanks
    The recap was golden, the show was

    Great job!

  5. #15
    Fight Queen corprip's Avatar
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    Oh Shaz, you poor thing. I wouldn't wish your plight on my worst enemy. It took some creative license to get through the whole affair, I'm sure. Brilliant job my dear.
    "I've got soul, but I'm not a soldier." The Killers.

  6. #16
    So Far Away Yellow Apple's Avatar
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    Personally, this was the best bit for me:

    Kevin said it was like a normal night, like, dude, it was like……….sooo normal…(he says, while looking like he took a big hit off his bong.) His eyes are all squinty and his hair is the happenin’ style of the day: unwashed. And finger combed. It’s quite the ugly. He says a couple of her dancers introduced them.

    Britney says Kevin appeared very mysterious and unphased by anything, his vibe was very sexy. I’m guessin’ “unphased” = stoned. Totally baked.
    After I read that, I realized that Kev DOES look a lot like young Keanu Reeves from the Bill and Ted days...

    "Excellent!" *insert guitar sounds here*
    R.I.P Willie Dog (?/?/1989-12/17/2004). Gone but never forgotten.

    Welcome Zelda (and a hot of other names)! (Born 08/08/2005, adopted 10/08/2005)

    Also welcome Shasta! (Born ?/?/2004, Adopted 03/??/07)

  7. #17
    Evil Slash Crazy Miss Filangi's Avatar
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    Could she be referring to JT? Why I do believe so. She also tells us that at the time of all her commitment interviews, she couldn’t get this one guy out of her head. One guy = Kevin. Oh but wait, we’re not going there yet. Why no, no, no, why would we, when we can view the rain, her starry ceilinged touring bus, and more random nostril shots? *
    Awesome stuff. If I could quote the whole thing, I would.
    If you go through a lot of hammers each month, I don't think it necessarily means you're a hard worker.
    It may just mean that you have a lot to learn about proper hammer maintenance.


  8. #18
    Lurky McLurkington
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    I made the unfortunate mistake of watching this first episode. It was awful. but I kept watching just hoping it would get better. It didn't....Your take on it is MUCH BETTER!!! Good luck getting through this whole thing.

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