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Thread: Article: "Is 'Chaotic' Career Suicide?"

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    hellooooooo sher's Avatar
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    Article: "Is 'Chaotic' Career Suicide?"

    Britney's Videocam Chronicle Proves She Can't Handle Her Truth Either

    Here's all you need to know about the real Britney Spears that she was so intent to reveal to the world on her new reality show, Britney and Kevin: Chaotic. At one point, after seeing paparazzi outside her window, she declares with what she intends to be knowing bravado ''People can take anything away from you, but they can't take your truth. Can you handle my truth?''

    And then she swings the camera around to the makeup table in front of her and squeals, ''I got pretty glitter over there!''

    Yeah, Britney, I think we can handle your truth.

    The truth is not only that she's vapid, but that she's self-obsessed to a dangerous degree. Considering the sheer number of celebrity-based reality shows that have popped up since The Osbournes, I had assumed that no new heights of narcissistic exhibitionism could be reached. But oh how wrong I was. This show makes Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee's home video look coy.

    Us magazine has a regular feature called ''Stars: They're Just Like Us.'' This show could be called ''Stars: They're Just Like You, Except Nowhere Near As Smart, But They've Got So Much Money It Doesn't Matter, So Just Sit There and Hate Your Hard-Working Life As They Spend Twice Your Weekly Paycheck on a Solid-Gold Key Chain That They'll Leave in a Bathroom the Next Day and Forget They Ever Bought.''

    What reaction did Britney expect from this solid hour of yammering and mugging into a jiggly camera? She says she's tired of the tabloids explaining her, so instead, here's the ''real'' story she gives us: that she's a pampered celebrity surrounded by sycophants whom she can't bear to film for longer than 30 seconds without whipping the camera around back to herself, the true star. Oh, and that her love for Kevin is the classic fairy tale: Man meets woman in VIP area of club, woman summons unemployed, undershirt-wearing man to her European tour, woman bangs man three times in one day and gets a TV show to tell the world. Gosh, it's just like Snow White, only instead of the prince waking Snow White up with a kiss, he gives her beard burn. At one point, Britney drives while listening to the Peggy Lee song ''Is That All There Is?'' Oddly, I had been humming the same song for the whole hour.

    There are so many intersecting things wrong on this show and with Britney that I can't possibly prioritize them. I can't say that the sheer narcissism is the main problem, since that may be a byproduct of the overwhelming stupidity showcased here. Which came first, the chicken or the moron?

    Let's take the moment when she focused the camera on her knees and said, ''They look just like boobs. But they're not. They're my knees!'' and then shrieked with laughter. One wonders, what about this intensely banal moment made her tell her editors to include it in the show? You could start by blaming an askew perspective conditioned by a short lifetime spent surrounded by parasitic giggling hairstylists and publicists to whom she only has to say, ''Milk, milk, lemonade, round the corner, fudge is made,'' and they'll crap their pants laughing.

    And yet, Tom Hanks probably gets his ass kissed wherever he goes, but you don't see him making a TV show where he plays the game ''Earlobes or testicles?'' So, one wonders, does the inherent unfunniness of the joke itself (if it is a joke) reveal the true problem: that she's a halfwit? It makes my head hurt to think about it, which is patently unfair because Britney never has to think about anything. (Oh, except art: Were I not too busy throwing bricks at my TV, I would have clapped with delight as she attempted to interpret a painting but ended up making it just as she had everything else about her. If you showed her a painting of Dali's melting clocks, she would say, ''This one make me cry. Time is getting all gooey because I'm late and the world is sad.'')

    The through line of the show was meant to be how Britney met Kevin, and the angels sang. (Although I was a bit confused by the footage of him: In every picture I had previously seen of him during their courtship, he was a cornrow-and-trucker-hat-wearing dirtbag, while here he either had a Timberlakeian crew cut or a carefully tousled mane. Were his fashion-free days edited out, along with all mentions of the quickly dumped pregnant mother of his child and child-to-be?) And yet what Britney considers an untouchable love affair has an expiration date stamped all over it. Any time you hear someone describe true love in the exact way that Molly Ringwald did in Sixteen Candles, it's fair to assume it won't last.

    And yet here it is, laid out on tape by Brit as if she were assuming that future generations will someday pore over it as an artifact of the Greatest Love of All, rather than the short-lived pop-culture blip that it is, the romantic equivalent of the Macarena. I have a feeling she is going to regret this show later. Does anyone remember when Barbra Streisand made that music video of her duet with her then boyfriend Don Johnson, ''Till I Loved You,'' where at the end they both giggled and nuzzled a little bit? That was only three minutes long, and I'll bet Barbra has anyone flogged who even hums that song in her presence now.

    But my main question is, who is this show meant for? Aren't young girls Britney's main fan base? For her whole career, she has been playing a weird game where she gets onstage and humps a python while wearing outfits that come one nipple ring short of full-frontal nudity, but then gets offstage and plays the wholesome naf as her rubber corset dries. Does she now think that because she's 23 and married now, she no longer needs to pretend to be anything but a cigarette-puffing good-time girl who can't wait for her next Federhump? Before doing that, she might have considered that all the parents who drive their 14-year-old daughters and sexually confused sons to her concerts might see this show and no longer want to make her their kids' night of $80 entertainment. Instead of British arenas, Britney might find herself booking her next Onyx Hotel Tour in meeting rooms at the Holiday Inn.

    What do you think? Did the show change your opinion of Britney? Is it going to hurt her career? Do you think you'll watch again?
    by Entertainment Weekly for AOL
    http://aolsvc.news.aol.com/tv/articl...18084309990015

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    hellooooooo sher's Avatar
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    i think that this show is career suicide, of sorts. whereas "newlyweds" made jessica a star because it showed her to be ditzy (in a funny way) and likable and sweet and sincere, "chaotic" has made britney look very common. too common, i think.

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    Lucy and Kevin...so cute! Reality tv fan's Avatar
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    I think this show is just making her look stupid.

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    hellooooooo sher's Avatar
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    it is. i think everyone suspected she was dumb... i mean, how could you not? but this show is clearing up any doubt. she's stupid and does dumb things - and i think that making that statement so clearly with this show will turn off a lot of her fans.

    that being said, i'll still watch. i have a sick fascination. granted, if she and kevin don't get better with the camera, i'm going to need to puke after each episode. all the jumping around a la "blair witch" makes me sick.

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    Yoffy lifts a finger... fluff's Avatar
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    I'm going to watch it when it's shown on Canadian tv tonight.
    I can't stand Britney, so I'm hoping for some laughs

    I have to hand it to her though, she took minimal talent and turned it into a $100m career. I still don't know how the hell she did it
    She seemed pretty much done before this to me anyway though.
    It used to be that any time you saw her in public she looked put together, even if it was a long lens papparazzi shot.
    Since the first wedding she's basically looked a complete mess every time I've seen her.
    She got a long way thanks to her sexy image, but people have seen the mess she is beneath it all and I don't think she can count on that illusion anymore.
    Even in the last video, when she was wearing lacy black lingerie, she just looked like a dirty ho to me rather than a sexy woman.

    I could be completely wrong here, but her fans seem to have already started deserting her.

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    Just Forting Around roseskid's Avatar
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    I love this article! Thanks, sher, for posting.

    I, too, was expecting a more polished, here's-what-goes-on-behind-the-scenes kind of footage, like The Newlyweds. I'm way too old to be considered anybody's groupie (with the exception of The Stones ), so I had no preconceived notions about her, or Jessica Simpson, for that matter. After watching The Newlyweds, I was surprisingly tickled by her endearing qualities, and Nick's kind of Desi-ish teasing. But Brit's show was shockingly ridiculous. Frankly, if I were her, I'd be embarrassed, but that probably won't happen, because you've got to have a brain larger than a three-year-old child to have a sense of embarrassment. I also agree with the author above, regarding the pre-teens who seem to love her. Someone's got to drive them to her concerts, and I can't imagine there are too many parents who love the message she's touting about having sex with basically a stranger, smoking and drinking. Vapid is a wonderful adjective for Brit. Meh.

    Edited to say, I can't wait to see what the fabulous Shaz does with this mess. That will be the best thing about this show.
    Last edited by roseskid; 05-18-2005 at 11:23 AM.
    Love The Bachelor? Catch the recap for this season's sacrificial lamb lucky guy here in Episode 1, Episode 2, Episode 3, Episode 4, Episode 5, Episode 6 and Episode 7.

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    hellooooooo sher's Avatar
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    you're welcome, roseskid. i loved the article, too. the author nailed it... said everything i felt.

    i guess i was just surprised mainly by how britney took every single subject on the show back to herself and to sex and her sex life. i think some things are better kept a mystery.

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    FORT Fan Miss Understood's Avatar
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    yep I thought the same things Sher, information I have vs infomation I need!

    What a sad sad, E true hollywood story she will be some day, when she is in her 40's and has that "rode hard hung up wet" look she is starting to wear even now!

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    Fight Queen corprip's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Miss Understood
    "rode hard hung up wet"
    I think that was the working title of the series before it made final cut.
    "I've got soul, but I'm not a soldier." The Killers.

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    Maybe it's intentional career suicide. I think Britney wants to lay back, smoke a Kool, have her babies and her puppies and call it a day. I don't think she's trying to revive her career, or spark interest. I think she's intentionally destroying it.

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