Breaking Bonaduce (VH1) - Page 23

Brandy · 11-30-2005, 10:50 PM

The season finale ending was a little too "pat" for me. It's like Danny is always performing. Who knows when he's sincere? And it's hard to tell who Gretchen is inside, either. Reality show? Depends how you define reality, I guess.

The problem I have with Dr. Gest is that he speaks in soundbytes or bumper stickers. Like he is a radio call-in 'shrink' rather than trying to actually provide counseling to a very troubled pair of people. It just seems facile and without insight. Danny needs to grow up? Gretchen's not going to defrost?

They're paying him for that??

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chris56789 · 12-01-2005, 10:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brandy

The problem I have with Dr. Gest is that he speaks in soundbytes or bumper stickers. Like he is a radio call-in 'shrink' rather than trying to actually provide counseling to a very troubled pair of people. It just seems facile and without insight. Danny needs to grow up? Gretchen's not going to defrost?

They're paying him for that??

I remember Danny saying to the doctor something like, "We never had all these problems until we started seeing you."

I think Dr Gest did his job......for the show.

Brandy · 12-02-2005, 02:54 AM

Quote:

I remember Danny saying to the doctor something like, "We never had all these problems until we started seeing you."

Yeh - I'm surprised nobody called Danny on that when he said it. No one at the "rehab" (which seemed more like a spa) and no one in Dr Gest's office, naturally. I'm assuming they put the high points of the sessions in the show - so I'm wondering what else we didn't see? Dr Gest just seems to roll his eyes at Danny and gaze raptly at Gretchen. Not sure what's going on there LOL.

Quote:

I think Dr Gest did his job......for the show.

I think you're right.

LKH · 12-02-2005, 03:32 PM

There was probably a ton of stuff we didn't see.

What Danny didn't realize when he said that is that sometimes therapy does that. You go through some painful times because you're finally digging up all the stuff you've been burying, and dealing with it. Suddenly, Danny has to FACE the anger and pain that Gretchen has been feeling and hiding for 12 years, and he doesn't like it. He was happy as a clam so long as everyone walked on eggshells and didn't say things they knew would set him off. He figured everybody was happy because nobody dared to tell him they weren't. Now Gretchen feels safe and encouraged to let go with a few things, and he thinks it's all Dr. Gary's fault that he's starting to feel a little less wonderful.

Seriously, I thought they did a pretty good job. A good therapist doesn't boss people around or tell them what to think. He asks guided questions and tries to help them figure stuff out for themselves. I think he had a lot going against him with the cameras in the room, as I think he felt he had to be more cautious about the things he brought up. But I think he was doing a pretty good job, and I think there really was some progress. Just having Danny finally "get" that Gretchen is NEVER going to live up to his expectations was a huge step. Now the question is, is he going to move on and try to find someone else, or is he also going to "get" that NOBODY can live up to his expectations? Are these two going to be one of those lucky old couples who are still holding hands when they're old and gray, or are their kids going to be part of the new generation of children who never experienced an actual functional home?

L

Nike7 · 12-02-2005, 06:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LKH

...are their kids going to be part of the new generation of children who never experienced an actual functional home? L

I hardly think that any of this is new behavior for the human race.

Adam screwed up and blamed the whole thing on Eve and God. He said that God gave him Eve and Eve talked him in to it. Sounds like Bonaduce ancestors to me.

joeguy · 12-03-2005, 07:10 AM

I thought it was strange the he takes her out to that restruruant and then she brings up the fact that she has company coming over, it was like she still wanted to act like he wasn't there and he wanted to spend some "alone" time with her and when he got up and said " lets just get this to go" she sat there like she had checked out of reality, like an idiot just staring off and blinking her eyes. as for the poem, that just proves that she has no clue on having a relationship picking a song like that to give as a gift and thinking it was funny.....what a dumb broad, there to get a roof over her head and expect not to have to pay her way too.

katkitty · 12-03-2005, 07:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by joeguy

I thought it was strange the he takes her out to that restruruant and then she brings up the fact that she has company coming over, it was like she still wanted to act like he wasn't there and he wanted to spend some "alone" time with her and when he got up and said " lets just get this to go" she sat there like she had checked out of reality, like an idiot just staring off and blinking her eyes. as for the poem, that just proves that she has no clue on having a relationship picking a song like that to give as a gift and thinking it was funny.....what a dumb broad, there to get a roof over her head and expect not to have to pay her way too.

It's called disengaging. To protect herself from his problems. She is very adept at it. So adept she doesn't want to acknowledge any strides that he has made, which in fact is very little but even little steps demand some sort of acknowledgement.

Mr. Danny needs to learn some anger management skills. Ms. Gretchen needs to decide if she has any love left over for him enough to try even a little bit. This marriage is not fulfilling either one of them. They may as well break up so they can get on with their lives, and we can watch their new series Divorcing Bonaduce.

LKH · 12-03-2005, 12:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nike7

I hardly think that any of this is new behavior for the human race.

Adam screwed up and blamed the whole thing on Eve and God. He said that God gave him Eve and Eve talked him in to it. Sounds like Bonaduce ancestors to me.

True enough. None of us are all that functional. But kids today are struggling with a lot of things that kids 100 years ago didn't, and a big part of it is the decline of the intact family, even with all its dysfunctions. Children whose parents manage to tough it out and stay married are statistically more likely to have successful marriages themselves, to stay in school, to avoid so many of the pitfalls kids bump into through school (unwanted pregnancy, drug and alcohol abuse, etc.). They're even more likely to have good grades. I am thrilled to see a family on TV fighting to make it work, and I hope they manage to get rid of some of their demons and stick it out.

L

LKH · 12-03-2005, 12:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by katkitty

It's called disengaging. To protect herself from his problems. She is very adept at it. So adept she doesn't want to acknowledge any strides that he has made, which in fact is very little but even little steps demand some sort of acknowledgement.

Mr. Danny needs to learn some anger management skills. Ms. Gretchen needs to decide if she has any love left over for him enough to try even a little bit. This marriage is not fulfilling either one of them. They may as well break up so they can get on with their lives, and we can watch their new series Divorcing Bonaduce.

I agree about Danny and the anger management. Better yet, he needs to get to the root of all that anger (his father's abuse, probably) and deal with it so that he can stop beating himself up. I think Gretchen DOES love him, but I think she's gotten so good at detaching she doesn't know how to stop. But I don't think getting on with their lives is the answer. They have two kids who will be better off with two parents. A better solution would be for both of them to decide that they have to grow up, put the kids first, suck it up, and do whatever it takes to give those kids a happy, secure, stable home to grow up in, even if it means sucking it up and doing things they don't want to do, like taking anger management classes, like opening up sexually, like etc. etc.

L

jaymillionaire · 12-25-2005, 07:51 AM

When I first watched the show I have to admit that I felt for Gretchen. However, as time went on she began to wear on my nerves. If I had to put up with her attitude all of the time I would probably end up cheating on her and being in rehab. Seriously though, she is so condescending. I agree with the other posts that she seems to be sickened by the thought of having intimate relations with the father of her children. Danny was right on the money when he stated in one of the last episodes that the woman doesn't have a romantic bone in her body. And what's with that dumb laugh that she is always sporting when she does something that makes Danny want to jump off of the wagon???? Case in point..the Foo Fighters Mirror. If you see that episode again pay attention to her reaction to Danny's reaction when she gives him the mirror......Priceless! Happy Holidays to everyone.

12-25-2005, 07:51 AM	#230
jaymillionaire FORT Newbie Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 1	Gretchen is a Tool When I first watched the show I have to admit that I felt for Gretchen. However, as time went on she began to wear on my nerves. If I had to put up with her attitude all of the time I would probably end up cheating on her and being in rehab. Seriously though, she is so condescending. I agree with the other posts that she seems to be sickened by the thought of having intimate relations with the father of her children. Danny was right on the money when he stated in one of the last episodes that the woman doesn't have a romantic bone in her body. And what's with that dumb laugh that she is always sporting when she does something that makes Danny want to jump off of the wagon???? Case in point..the Foo Fighters Mirror. If you see that episode again pay attention to her reaction to Danny's reaction when she gives him the mirror......Priceless! Happy Holidays to everyone.

11-30-2005, 10:50 PM	#221
Brandy Fort Fan Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 2,940	The season finale ending was a little too "pat" for me. It's like Danny is always performing. Who knows when he's sincere? And it's hard to tell who Gretchen is inside, either. Reality show? Depends how you define reality, I guess. The problem I have with Dr. Gest is that he speaks in soundbytes or bumper stickers. Like he is a radio call-in 'shrink' rather than trying to actually provide counseling to a very troubled pair of people. It just seems facile and without insight. Danny needs to grow up? Gretchen's not going to defrost? They're paying him for that??

12-02-2005, 03:32 PM	#224
LKH FORT Fan Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 192	There was probably a ton of stuff we didn't see. What Danny didn't realize when he said that is that sometimes therapy does that. You go through some painful times because you're finally digging up all the stuff you've been burying, and dealing with it. Suddenly, Danny has to FACE the anger and pain that Gretchen has been feeling and hiding for 12 years, and he doesn't like it. He was happy as a clam so long as everyone walked on eggshells and didn't say things they knew would set him off. He figured everybody was happy because nobody dared to tell him they weren't. Now Gretchen feels safe and encouraged to let go with a few things, and he thinks it's all Dr. Gary's fault that he's starting to feel a little less wonderful. Seriously, I thought they did a pretty good job. A good therapist doesn't boss people around or tell them what to think. He asks guided questions and tries to help them figure stuff out for themselves. I think he had a lot going against him with the cameras in the room, as I think he felt he had to be more cautious about the things he brought up. But I think he was doing a pretty good job, and I think there really was some progress. Just having Danny finally "get" that Gretchen is NEVER going to live up to his expectations was a huge step. Now the question is, is he going to move on and try to find someone else, or is he also going to "get" that NOBODY can live up to his expectations? Are these two going to be one of those lucky old couples who are still holding hands when they're old and gray, or are their kids going to be part of the new generation of children who never experienced an actual functional home? L

12-03-2005, 07:10 AM	#226
joeguy FORT Fogey Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: just above the horizon, but below the ozone Posts: 3,748	I thought it was strange the he takes her out to that restruruant and then she brings up the fact that she has company coming over, it was like she still wanted to act like he wasn't there and he wanted to spend some "alone" time with her and when he got up and said " lets just get this to go" she sat there like she had checked out of reality, like an idiot just staring off and blinking her eyes. as for the poem, that just proves that she has no clue on having a relationship picking a song like that to give as a gift and thinking it was funny.....what a dumb broad, there to get a roof over her head and expect not to have to pay her way too.