Breaking Bonaduce (VH1)

[Nike7]

...during the pole game Danny told the guy helping them that he and Gretchen are very happy except when he is interfering, or something similar to that.

Maybe he thinks that if he can blame everything on others that he won't have to change or take responsibility.
Change can be reallllllllly scarey when you are unstable.
After surpressing your feeling (ok, SOME of your feelings) for so long you don't know what's gonna pop out of you next.

If you ever watch Drug Store Cowboy, Matt Dillion has a great line...
“Most people have no idea how they’re going to feel from one minute to the next, but a dope fiend has a pretty good idea.
All you have to do is look at the labels on the little bottles.”

In my experience you have to take responsibility for your sobiety for it to last.

[lei]

just my summary about the show and the players, now that a lot of the theory debate is out of the way, but still keeping it in mind:

seems we all basically agree they are messed up. and most of us agree on some of the ways they are messed up and even how they got there.

at this point it's a matter of them understanding it (because that is helpful) if they don't already, and taking right action. imo for danny that is complete sobriety along with continued therapy for support (different methods work for different people and i won't claim to know what's best for him.) and imo for gretchen it's an ultimatum that if he doesn't stay sober and stick with an outside program, that's it (and therapy for support too if needed.)

i wish them the best. ghastly, fascinating, very personal show. i like the ads for rehab they show on the breaks (at least in my area.)

aloha!

[Brandy]

Yes that would be nice if they'd do that. But, they're both back in denial-land as of this writing. Their poor kids.

[lei]

Yes that would be nice if they'd do that. But, they're both back in denial-land as of this writing. Their poor kids.

oy vey. i hadn't followed more recent news or was unclear about it.

i mean this is "only" one family in a world with so many equally unhealthy relationships (and even worse horrors) so i won't waste my emotions on them personally.

but SINCE THEY'RE ON TV it would be nice if they were setting a good example for others. i and others have kicked addictions and co-dependencies and it can be the hardest thing in the world but it can be done. but here we have something that will likely de-motivate some who are watching and considering change.

aah, people

[Brandy]

Danny's wedding pictures?



I'm just sayin'.

[paulvons]

The only problem with that picture is that Danny would be the one holding the drink. Thanks

[joeguy]

I saw the show tonight....the daughter tells him its not his fault???!!!!!!! wow, she is going to make someone a nice punching bag later on in life.

[Brandy]

Now I'm getting angry at the both of them. They're totally screwing with their kids emotionally and psychologically and they are both too narcissistic to see it.

With Danny out of their home, it's obvious Gretchen is cold and nasty and removed from Isabella. It almost seemed like a competitive vibe. When Isabella was nervously worrying about her brother, did Gretchen reassure her, or hug her, or ask why she's so nervous? No - just grabbed Dante away from her, and scolded her. I dearly hope those kids are getting counseling of their own.

Loved when Isabella muttered, "Worst mother in the world." Word. She idolises her father though, which is troubling. Cos he is right up there with his hand on his own "Worst parent" trophy, staring at his own reflection in the brass.

[Nike7]

I saw the show tonight....the daughter tells him its not his fault???!!!!!!!...

Good rehabs often have classes for the kid(s) of the addict.
They learn the old:
"It's not my fault, I didn't cause it, I can't cure it" mantra.

Sounds like Isabella has been told that her dad is an addict so he can't help himself.
That is an accepted school of thought in some rehabs.

[Brandy]

The poor kid... She just seems so tense and anxious! And when I think about it I don't really see any of them relating to each other in a warm way. Not Danny and Gretchen and not those two to Isabella. Dante seems to get more hugs. Some families dote on 'the baby' but not the other kid or kids. Little Isabella is already mimicking her mom, and what does she mimic? "I will help you. It is not your fault" sigh