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Thread: Breaking Bonaduce (VH1)

  1. #111
    FORT Fan Ownlyanangel20's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nike7
    Man Ownlyanangel20, you are pissing some people off here.
    Are you sure you're not REALLY Danny Bonaduce?

    Come on...
    You were on-line looking at pictures of yourself.
    You came across this website.
    You wanted to put in your 3 cents...
    LOL that cracks me up.

  2. #112
    FORT Fan Ownlyanangel20's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by firepixie
    None that works.

    it's certainly not the entire picture but, later extremely key positive or negative influences aside, it's obviously the most important.

    at 44 i'm still working on my PhD in clinical psych (i took time out to examine my childhood!) but agree that books don't mean diddly when it comes to something so obvious. so do the good shrinks i know. so do all the people i know who have been healed through therapy.

    i shudder at the thought of anyone being the patient of someone who doesn't realize that children are more easily impacted.

    i love the funny responses though.
    I love the funny responses too. You can think what you want about me, its cool.

    Many of you completely mistook my words that childhood is inconsequential. I am saying that people who say "Oh poor baby had this occured" during their childhood, gives a victimhood and a martyrdom personality that allows the indivividual to blame their reactions as a 30, 40, 50 years old on something that happened when they are 5 or 8 or even 16. It's childhood for chris' sake, unless you were locked in a cage and treated like an animal, your childhood is not going to impact your adult life.

    What does impact one's adult life are tiny chemicals called neurotransmitters that the brain sends off. They are the firing squad for mental illness, not one's environment. Neuropsychiatry proves that.

  3. #113
    lei
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ownlyanangel20
    I love the funny responses too. You can think what you want about me, its cool.
    yay for sense of humor. and yay for catlovers!

    but wait, there's something wrong here:

    Many of you completely mistook my words that childhood is inconsequential.
    and
    unless you were locked in a cage and treated like an animal, your childhood is not going to impact your adult life.

    do you mean it's only consequential in those extreme situations? that's completely rediculous and you'd be extremely hard pressed to find any competent psychologist to agree with you. neuropsychiatry in NO WAY proves that childhood is inconsequential. it is in addition, not INSTEAD of dealing with unhealthy situations. face it, we're products of chemistry and environment, and they continually affect each other. trauma changes the brain and, in good therapy, vice versa.

    that said, yes, there are people who use childhood trauma as an excuse to continue being assholes, idiots, etc. but that doesn't mean they didn't start with a severe disadvantage.

    i'm not making a claim about where danny and gretchen lie on that spectrum. i'm just saying they have their healling to do, as could most people if they felt the need, cages or not. i mean really.

  4. #114
    FORT Fan Ownlyanangel20's Avatar
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    firepixie,

    My words and my intentions are getting mixed up, and I take full responsibility for them.

    My main point is that I am tired (and you have no idea how many whiny people I hear) blame their parents or what happened to them when they were 4 years old and had to settle for the green crayon instead of the purple crown, and now they are living 'unsatisfactory' lives.

    I think my ill-will of people like that, mixed with the Danny B's of the world cause my words to get totally screwed-up....That and I just finished working 80 hours in one week.

    Sorry for the mix-ups.

  5. #115
    FORT Fogey Brandy's Avatar
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    Ok, well I guess I imagined the sentence of yours that is in a quote box. Ok, whatever.

    Geesh, I hope your patients don't pick up on your assessment of their emotional pain and problems as "whiny" (or reductive, i.e. green/purple crayon. Danny's kids are living through worse than that - so did he). They're seeing you to get some help... that is the important thing. Something about your posts doesn't quite ring true. I'm hoping you're putting us on.

    Then again, a lot of doctors lack empathy and feel superior to their patients, so who knows. Does your supervisor know how you feel about your patients? Have you examined said feelings as being part of your counter transference? What does your supervisor think about your apparent lack of empathy for them? "Whiny"... wow.

    There are also studies which show that the brain is literally formed by early trauma (or even later trauma can affect neurology). Prolonged stress especially, can literally handicap the brain. That is not to say that it cannot be overcome, or changed. BUT there is actual medical evidence that one's childhood does very much affect one as an adult. And again I'll say that you can't draw from, in adulthood, what was never built along the way. And FWIW I haven't heard Danny blame anything on his childhood.

    If anything Danny lionises his father... As a shrink you should be at issue with that IMO, since that can be just as crippling. He needs to, if anything, give his father less credit; as long as he continues to put his dad on a pedestal as "brilliant" (or in one interview, say that his dad needed to "whip" him "into shape") and doesn't see the abuse as the horror that it was... he will continue taking his pain out on himself and those around him. Surely as an "MD in psychiatry" you'd know that.

    Your earlier statement that childhood doesn't affect you unless you were locked in a cage during it (that level of abuse) is groundless - everything in our lives shapes who we are... especially in our formative years. I ask again - what school of psychiatry would lead you to say anything like that... 80 hour week or not? If you were putting us on, just say so.

  6. #116
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    Just gotta say for someone who puts in an 80 hr work week you watch a lot of TV. Hmmmm.
    All your pre reqs for med school in h.s.???? Ummm OK!!!

  7. #117
    just did it Nike7's Avatar
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    Did anyone acculy SEE THE SHOW or all we all just gonna keep picking on Ownlyanangel20?

    It's fun and all, but I think we are getting off track.


    I think it's cool that Gretchen got a little pissed and said something besides "you're right honey" to Danny.

    How ugly was he on the phone?
    "What, you only thought of me today what about all the other days".

    She should have said, "Yeah I thought of you yesterday too. While I was taking a dump" and hung up on him.

    He needs to learn that she's not gonna take his garbage anymore. Come home better or don't come home.

    (I'm I just PMSing or is anyone else out there feeling the same way?)
    Last edited by libra1022; 10-26-2005 at 08:43 PM.
    When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

  8. #118
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    Okay, I watched the show. I would have been sooooo out of there. He is crazy. He has entered recovery for all the wrong reasons. This show bothers me but I can't stop watching. It's sick.

    I've been through recovery and I can't believe the doctors and treatment center let this charade go on. It certainly does a good job showing how unreasonable and manipulative addicts can be but at the same time recovery is personal and ugly. It's deeply personal. Danny does blame everyone else. He needs to accept resposibility for being a addict with multiple addictions. He needs to have some humility. I'm hoping that Danny has a breakthrough soon. His ego is going to kill him.

    Poor Gretchen....I feel bad for her. She is co-dependant and an enabler. She's doing it out of love but ultimately she's hurting him. She should have the strengh to leave and not deal with him until he has some sobriety. The people involved with addicts many time are as sick mentally as the addict they're involved with. It was sad because she was just pleading to have a normal stable life. He didn't want to take resposibility and stormed off.

    I think it must be hard to grow up as a child star. Your self-esteem is tied to others finding you as the cutiest and best kid of the bunch and chosen to play a part a popular tv show. WoW!!!! What about when the public gets tired of you and you're not the cutiest and the best any more? I think for a kid that would be hard to accept. He craves the attention in a way it's like a drug to him. He craves it and drugs make that void non-exsistant. He comes across as a big bad ass but he's very weak. I think that's what bothers me here is his problem is wanting attention and in a way this show just feeds into that problem and it never deals with it. Maybe I'm all wrong or this has been said before but that's my 2 cents.

    If you really wanna know about addiction read "A Million Tiny Pieces" by James Frey. Very real.

  9. #119
    FORT Fogey Brandy's Avatar
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    Nike - Lol - saw it. Been snarking on it. But Ok

    I thought Danny was extremely manipulative on the phone, yes - she never gets a break from his emotional drain. But I felt he was even 'uglier' at the pole game - "You live in a mansion, and you don't have a JOB!" It seems he goes for humiliation when emotional wheedling doesn't work. There have been other little digs he's taken at her in front of others. Just not cool. Oh yes - he loves her SO MUCH

    I think Gretchen is so lost at this point. She looks hypnotised half the time and only lights up when she is NOT around him. Half the time in his presence she seems cowering and afraid. The other half, mollifying him (which is I guess, the same thing). It is like she has Stockholm Syndrome. Her friends need to do an intervention on her - she's addicted to this abuse cycle somehow.

    I think you're right jeananaye, he's very weak. He can't control his words, his impulses, his urges toward sex, drugs, drink, or abuse. That's all on top of his seriously skewed view of the world - and his seeing others as just players on HIS stage. Oh and his "Unless there is a payoff, I'm leaving" is so textbook. How selfish can one person be - and yet - he's bold enough to advertise it. She still doesn't get it?! He doesn't care about anyone but himself, Gretchen, and he does a poor job of even that.

    How about the "payoff" being that his wife and kids feel happier and safer? I also wish his 'therapists' would call him on his B.S. It was total B.S. to blame his decades-long problems on the recent appearance of Tv cameras. LMAO

  10. #120
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    "Am I missing something here"? That may have been the only reasonable thing Danny said in the last episode. Clearly what he's missing is the understanding of what rehab is. Rehab doesn't mean you've proven yourself. At best it means you've taken a good first step towards proving yourself. He gets to prove himself when he gets out of rehab and can choose to resist all of the things that have caused him problems during his life. Gretchen tried to point this out to him but his response to that was to get all huffy and storm off as usual.

    Also during the pole game Danny told the guy helping them that he and Gretchen are very happy except when he is interfering, or something similar to that. I was waiting for Gretchen to speak up at that point but unfortunately she didn't. Thanks

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