Tonight's show starts off with the usual "Previously, on Boy Meets Boy…" montage, where we get to see once again the moment when Dani reveals the "twist" to James. James keeps his composure and says nothing more than, "Wow", but you know he was just seething inside. You could tell.
We come back from commercial and we see the "twist moment" one more time in case any of us were in a coma during the opening of the show. Dani tells James that one of the three remaining mates is straight, but that the other two are "100% gay". That would be as opposed to someone who is only part-time gay? Dani continues and tells James that the two gay Mates do not know anything about the twist. The straight Mate knows about the twist (obviously…duh), but he does not know that James knows about the twist now. James, of course, now knows about the twist, but he also knows that the two gay Mates don't know anything about it, and he knows that the straight Mate knows about the twist but doesn't know that James knows that he knows, you know? Anyway, Dani tells James that he will have a one-on-one date with each of the Mates and that he can choose which Mate goes on which date. There are two rules that James must agree to, however. First, James cannot directly ask the Mate his sexual orientation. Secondly, James cannot reveal that he knows about the twist. Oh, one other thing. Dani tells James that if his final choice is gay, then he (James) gets that trip to New Zealand and $25,000 in cash. Cha-ching! However (*insert dramatic pause here*), if James' final choice is the straight Mate, then the Mate gets the cash. She does not mention the trip. So, would James then lose the trip as well? Oooh…I'd be bitter if I was James and that happened. Not that James does not have a right to be more than a little bitter already, given the news he has just been told.
We next head to the Mates' house. The three guys return home, and the realization is setting in that we're getting down to the wire here. Wes opens a card that Robb left on his bed and starts crying before he can even read it to us. I don't mean a few tears, either. His sobbing would make Tammy Faye Bakker jealous. I don't doubt it is sincere, though, and I can tell that Wes really misses the guys. Still teary-eyed, Wes then reads a note that Sean left him. Franklin even tears up, but Brian does not get emotional. Hmm…could that be because Brian is the straight one and cannot relate to the emotion? Before the sobbing can go much further, Andra brings drinks in for the three guys, and they all head into the kitchen.
We are back with Dani and James for a second, and Dani asks James, "So, do you feel like your gaydar is a bit rusty?" James says, "No. I just assumed…" and his voice trails off. Well, James hon', you know what they say about assuming, don't you? It's then back to Andra and the Mates, and Andra tells the guys, "I'm thrilled because the prospect is there with all of you." In a moment that is more than a bit ironic, she continues, "If any of you are lying…if any of you are actors, well then…you get the Oscar." The question is, which one of the guys is the one giving the award-worthy performance?
We next see James waiting for Andra, who finally returns to her best friend's side. The two engage in some idle chitchat, during which time Andra says she "has a funny feeling" about Brian but that she cannot quite put her finger on it. Frankly, I imagine there are plenty of people who wouldn't mind getting a feeling from Brian and would know just where to put their finger, but I digress. Anyway, James reveals the final twist to Andra, and Andra freaks out, saying, "This is bulls**t, James." She heads into her bedroom, and James follows her in there. She says, "What's in it for me? I get to be made an a**hole on national TV." James, trying to calm his friend down, says, "I'm the fool here." Andra says, "No, I'm the fool. I'm the one who's been shoving these guys down your throat." Now, I could be catty and say something about shoving things down James' throat, but I will refrain. I will say that I understand how and why Andra would be pissed off. Hell, I would probably feel the same way if I were in her shoes. James then tells Andra about the $25,000 part of the twist, and Andra says, "Oh, so now it's all about money." James says, "Not for me it isn't." Andra then asks him, "So, is the straight guy prepared to kiss you?" James responds, "I don't know." Now calmed down, Andra and James hug, and Andra tells him, "I'd do it all over again for you." James says, "I wouldn't." They talk about the three guys a bit, and Andra says she thinks that Wes is "100% gay". She also says she thinks there was "something" between Brian and Dan. Hmm…We now know that Dan is straight, so could the "something" be that the two of them were sharing the secret that they were both straight?
It is time for the first one-on-one date, and it is a trip to the spa. James chooses Franklin for this date, because, he says, "Franklin is the most masculine acting, and I wanted to see if he'd be comfortable being naked, in swim trunks, or whatever around me." In other words, this is James' first attempt at playing detective. Good move there, Nancy Drew. As we see video of the two of them arriving at the spa, James says in a voiceover confessional that he sees this as "an opportunity to play on Franklin's sexuality". We see the two of them getting massages, during which time James asks Franklin, "So, who was the first person you dated?" Franklin says that while he dated at the beginning of high school, he usually "made up girlfriends" by saying he was dating someone at another school. He said that he later came out to some friends after high school and that some of those friendships became even stronger because of his disclosure but that he also lost some of his friends as a result. Honey, we have all been there. You are not alone. Moving on, the two go from the massage tables to the hot tub, where they share a bottle of Dom Perignon and talk some more. James tells us, "I wanted to pull at Franklin's heartstrings", and over dinner, he asks Franklin, "How did your last relationship end?" Franklin says that it ended because he moved, not to get away from the guy he was seeing, but rather because he "had to get out of Milwaukee". James then asks Franklin if he has ever been in love, and Franklin says, "I've never uttered those three sacred words." Which "three sacred words" are those, Franklin? "Just charge it"? "Let's make reservations"? "I met Streisand"? No, I think Franklin is talking about the words "I love you". Franklin then tells James, "You're truly remarkable, and that can't be said enough." That was a nice touch, but, between lines like that and the fact that he was getting a little touchy-feely during dinner, could Franklin have been pouring it on just a bit too thick in an attempt to convince James that he was gay when in actuality he's not? After dinner, the two hop back in the limo and head home. James walks Franklin to the door, the two kiss on the cheek and hug, and the date ends.
It is early the next morning, and it's time for the second one-on-one date. James arrives at the Mates' house, and we see that he has picked Brian for this date. They meet at the door and greet each other with a kiss (on the cheek), and then it's off to their date. During the limo ride, James asks Brian, "So, tell me a secret about yourself." Good way to try and trip Brian up there, Agatha Christie. Brian gets a wee bit defensive, asking, "Do you have a script you're following over there or something?" He then tries to get things back on track and says, "I'll tell you anything you want to know." Obviously (at least to me) a bit frustrated by Brian's evasiveness, James says, "OK, we'll just let it go. I'm sure I'll find everything out in the end." Truer words were never spoken, James. They arrive at their date, and it turns out that the two of them are starting out with a hot air balloon ride. Oh, nice. Two guys who have a fear of heights going on a balloon ride. This should be fun. The ride goes smoothly, though, and the two of them seem to be relatively calm during the whole thing. At one point, the balloon passes over some date palm trees, and Brian says, "I don't think I've ever had a date before", to which James replies, "Well, that's why you're on this show." You go, James! Definite humor points for that one. The balloon ride comes to an end, and the duo heads off to breakfast at a local resort-type place. Over pancakes and bacon, Brian asks James if he is stressed out about the multiple dates, and James says, "I don't like it." Brian then goes on to say, "If I didn't feel a connection with you, I don't think I would be here right now", and James smiles and nods. After breakfast, the two get back into the limo, and James says (via confessional) that Brian is a "super sweet, genuine guy". They arrive back at the Mates' house, and James gives Brian a quick kiss on the lips before heading home himself. When he arrives back home, he chats with Andra, telling her that he and Brian kissed. Andra is really excited by the news and says that she's "so proud" of James.
It's later that same day, and it's time for James' one-on-one date with Wes. While they are in the limo on the way to their date, James asks Wes if he's surprised he's made it this far. Wes says, "Pleasantly surprised…how's that?" Wes continues, "I'm very conscious of your heart, but I want tonight to be on a romantic level", and he adds, "I totally see potential here." The two arrive at a lookout point, where they share a beautiful view and some more conversation. James tells Wes, "I know I'm going to get hurt", and Wes admits that he's "still very nervous". The two hop back into the limo and, in an attempt to try and catch Wes off-guard, James asks Wes, "Can we talk about your last boyfriend?" Wes says, "I don't know if I want to." Hmm…could that be because Wes is straight and there is no "last boyfriend"? The duo arrives at their next stop, and there is a horse-drawn carriage awaiting them. Wes is thrilled and says, "How more romantic can you get?" James tells us in a confessional that "Wes is all the things I'm looking for", and Wes says (also in a confessional) that he went into the date with a whole list of objectives but that all his objectives "fell by the wayside". After the carriage ride, the two arrive back at James' house and walk out into the backyard, where they find the whole place lit by hundreds of just about every kind of candle imaginable. In Wes' words, "It was magical." The two sit down to dinner, and Wes asks James, "Tell me one thing I don't know about you." After a moment, James tells him, "In real life, I don't wear my heart on my sleeve. I'm much more guarded." James then says to Wes, "Tell me a secret about you." Ah…time for James to play Jessica Fletcher. Anyway, Wes mockingly says, "A secret? OK…I'm gay." James chuckles, and then Wes says, "Well, actually, you just assumed I was gay. Why?" We never get to hear James' response because suddenly the backyard turns into the set of "The Towering Inferno" as a whole group of candles explodes, causing the two to get up and leave their table. After the fire is put out, the guys return to the table, and Wes tells James, "I'm really nervous right now." He adds, "I'll be really excited and happy if you choose me", and James smiles. They get up from the table, and Wes extends his hand out. James takes it, and the two walk hand-in-hand back to the limo for the ride back to the Mates' house. When they arrive back at the Mates' house, James walks Wes to the door, the two share a kiss—not a peck but a real kiss—on the lips, and James leaves.
We stay at the Mates' house to hear the three guys compare notes on their dates. Wes tells the other two about the candle incident, and Franklin laughs while Brian shows very little (if any) reaction to the story. Brian asks Wes, "Well, was there any romance?" Wes answers, "Yeah. There was romance there." That little green monster rears it head as Brian says in a confessional, "When he said that, I was feeling a little jealousy coming up."
We head back over to James' house, where we find our leading man going over the three dates in his mind and agonizing over the choice he has to make. He says, "I asked the questions I wanted to ask, and I got the answers I needed." He adds, "It made me realize that this decision is going to be a really tough one." Before calling it a show, James lets us in on one more thing…he says, "I'm still apprehensive about facing the straight guy." You're apprehensive, James? If I were you, I would want to face the straight guy and see what he has to say for himself. But, then again, that's me…
Well, folks we only have one more episode of Boy Meets Boy. Whom will James pick? What will the straight guy have to say for himself? Who will get the $25,000? Tune in next week to find out!
To contact the author of this recap, send e-mail to email@example.com.