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Yup, if anyone comes off as a hero in this wretched mess - and I must say that the show is at the point where it's fascinating in the same way as watching a train wreck, not a pleasure at all - it's Andra. At least she was able to express the appropriate level of outrage at having been set up. And at that time, she did not know (as we do) the extent of the setup (with almost half the original group straight, and the choices arranged to force the final situation).
I have to say, last nights episode made me really like Andra. It was really bothering me that all James could do was smile and say "wow" after hearing the news. I know he was in shock or something like that, but it was still good to see Andra blow up about it. That's how I would have reacted. :0)
i agree with someone on another thread who expressed some dismay of andra's reaction being more about her ["I'M the one who looks foolish"] than james.... sure, one can read too much in an emotional reaction, but i found her focus to be strange (and not that she doesn't feel badly for her friend, i know she truly does, but her focus was askew, IMO)
james' "Wow" had a ton of feeling packed in one little word... man, you could just see the wheels turning behind the stonefaced glare.... but credit to the man.... he has adjusted to what he's faced with; part of the strength that builds up in a gay man from so many dissapointing life experiences, i'd say
I agree completely. Andra, you didn't look silly at all. You looked like someone whose best friend had been seriously misled, and it just shows how much you care about James. I hope James realizes just how lucky he is to have a friend like you.Originally Posted by wookie
I know its all "in the past" by now but for what its worth Andra, you didn't look the least bit silly or foolish for what had been done. And I sure wouldn't have wanted to been on the receiving end of your irritation. Its just not healthy to piss off nice people.
yes, of course
all i'm saying is the degree to which she seemed to feel that SHE was
"being made a fool of on TV" and "not you, James" struck me as a reaction that was somewhat misplaced..... i honestly have no doubts she is a true friend to James, but thought her reaction should have been more centered on his feelings than it initially appeared to be
Also there is the line of thought that as bad as it is that James was the primary focus of the "twist"... in a way Andra got a double whammy.
She was also the target as well as being an unwilling accomplice to the show by advising him based on mis-information. With that in mind, her reaction is very understandable.
And I know a number of women who's reaction in that situation would have meant removing any breakables... you know - cameras, people, the city of Palm Springs... that sort of thing.
Though I have never met and no doubt will never talk in real life to either person I always got the sense that James NEVER would have done this without Andra's support, maybe even pushing, and that he probably required her presence as part of the deal. Let's face it she made herself a HUGEEEEE target on boards as the "fag hag of the century" ( and I gotta say she made BIG points with me on the first show when she made clear her feelings about that term) and in some peoples eyes already was making herself a fool on tv ( I don't agree) so this did not help her cause. She left her family and probably used precious vacation time to do this so I am sure she felt on a number levels both that she ultimately was responsbile for the fact James just got screwed blind and hurt badly and I think she does feel partly like this is about her cuz she came to help James find a mate and they turned around and did this as a thank you. I also think she was kinda irked James wasn't blowing up but its just not his nature ( and you damn well know the producers knew that and counted on it), you gotta know the sleazoid producers were rubbing their hands going "wowwwwww is she gonna make for great camera reactions" - Andra gets major props for realizing that anymore display of emotions was just gonna be a black eye when they played it back and she moved on.
1083
You are right about what James expected.
Andra felt guilt from her role in getting James involved in the show with the her best intentions turned into a sleazy set up by the producers. All of that was without her knowledge or control. Perhaps, she also saw herself as somewhat as a failure.
Andra's love and respect for James is obvious. She was there with James to support, encourage, and advise him. She kept James as a priority. Remember how she wanted to clarify Dan's last relationship to James? (Maybe her guilt also stemmed from not catching the big deceit as well). What James wanted, or didn't want, was foremost in her mind. That was evident when Andra had the power to veto James elimination decisions, and through tears decided not to. She has shown what a special and caring woman she is. James couldn't have a better friend. What we have not seen is what kind of friend James could be to Andra. IMO, her grief and love for James tells us what kind of great friend he is to Andra.
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