The Novelization of Your Life

[phat32]

We know what the soundtrack would sound like if Hollywood made a movie of your life, and we know the actor or actress who would portray you in the film, but

Describe the novelization of your life.

Would it be a biography? An autobiography? Would it be drama? A play? A book of verse? Romance? Suspense? A murder mystery? Horror?

Who would write it? Dan Brown? Dean Koontz? Kevin J. Anderson? Robert Jordan? Orson Scott Card? Stephen King?

What would the dedication and end credits say?

Let's hear 'em.

[Dinahann]

Ahhh, phat. Everybody’s favorite subject – themselves.

Some consideration: an autobiography would seem to be the way to go, except most people tend to leave out the things they don’t want others to know; a biography- especially an unauthorized biography- would be juicier, but then the subject (me) would probably be pissed at some of the things written.

I therefore propose that the novelization of my life be a fictionalized account. That way I have plausible deniability if the author writes unflattering things about me.

I would prefer to have a female author- that’s just me, and since it’s my life I get what I want. I believe I’ll nominate Margaret Atwood to do the honors, since she’s my favorite author. I admire her writing style; she is the 21st century feminist author to me.

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Me: Ms. Atwood, I’d like you to write the story of my life.

Ms. A: And what have you accomplished with your life?

Me: Weeell, I contemplated joining the Peace Corps but then I got married. I contemplated joining the service but then I had children. I contemplated joining the National Guard but then I got married again. So I’m guessing all you really have to work with are my two children, who are not serial killers, thank God, my five year stint at the homeless shelter and my current job as a social worker. Oh, you could write about the time I went to Missouri to visit my mother-in-law.

Ms. A (rolling eyes): Do I have to take this gig?

Me: Yes. It’s my fantasy and I insist.
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I would dedicate the novel of my life to my Mother for teaching me that activism is not useless, to Robert Zimmerman for teaching me to question authority, and to my Children for teaching me that the squeaky wheel gets the grease.

[Harvest]

A series of blogs! (see below)