We know what the soundtrack would sound like if Hollywood made a movie of your life, and we know the actor or actress who would portray you in the film, but
Describe the novelization of your life.
Would it be a biography? An autobiography? Would it be drama? A play? A book of verse? Romance? Suspense? A murder mystery? Horror?
Who would write it? Dan Brown? Dean Koontz? Kevin J. Anderson? Robert Jordan? Orson Scott Card? Stephen King?
What would the dedication and end credits say?
Let's hear 'em.