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Thread: Loser Lodge - Episode 4

  1. #1
    hellooooooo sher's Avatar
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    Boarding House: North Shore Episode 4: Loser Lodge

    The Turtle Bay Resort Pro women’s competition is on for the day and Holly is up cleaning the kitchen. VK stumbles in to the kitchen, mumbling incoherently, then wanders out. She says something to Holly about the black car, but by the look on Holly’s face, she doesn’t know what VK is talking about. She soon learns as she looks out the window to see VK and another girl driving away. In the black car.

    Holly goes to wake Chelsea. I think it was supposed to be a wake up call, but I believe Holly just wanted someone else to bitch to about VK. She tells us she’s over trying to get through to VK about thinking only of herself. I’m thinking, good plan. Take care of your own business, Holly, and let VK be drunk and 21. Hey, we all have to go through it, right? Well, maybe not quite so drunk as VK…

    Chelsea and Holly both say they are nervous about the day’s competition and are both looking to redeem themselves after poor performances at the Hawaiian Pro.

    Onto other members of the house. Damien is heading out early for the airport to pick up Charlotte, his girlfriend of two years. In the car he talks about how great Charlotte is and is obviously really in love with her. The couple talks about the difficulties of dating a pro surfer, and Damien says his surfing has to be hard on her. Charlotte isn’t the typical surfer groupie, jumping from surfer to surfer. Her last boyfriend was a landlubber, so she was used to having a boyfriend who was around all the time.

    Charlotte says that yeah, they aren’t together all the time, but the time they have together is amazing. So it’s all good. Now you two, behave. We’ve heard the fact that you’re virgins time and again. I’d hate for your stance to be spoiled on national television. We all know that’s the stuff of Cinemax, not the WB.

    On the drive back to the house, Charlotte asked Damien if he had seen Catherine Zeta Jones’ ring. (Uh, Char – he’s a man. Of course he’s not noticed her ring! “It’s a 10+ karat diamond ring! I want bigger than 5 karats,” she tells him. Bling Bling, Damien! I’m thinking you need to be an award winning professional surfer. Either that, or this girl needs to get herself a Firestone for a fiancé.

    Back at Turtle Bay, the waves are looking bad. Holly says, the waves are “not small, not big, just bad.” This is going to make for some less than great surfing.

    Hungover VK has slathered zinc all over her face. Let me say, I agree that it’s good to protect your skin, but I’m thinking VK just had a tube explode in her face and no one would lend her a towel. You GO Roxy girl! Looking good!

    Zinc-y VK is in the first heat with Chelsea and 2 other girls, Keala Kennelly and Melanie Bartels. The horn sounds and the competition begins. VK actually surprises me. She actually surfs a bit and doesn’t look like a total kook. Though her first wave didn’t go so well, her second wave puts her into second place! Must be the zinc. However, it doesn’t last long. In the end, VK comes in a predictable 4th. Chelsea, however, was able to pull out a few good rides (comparatively, as none surfed too well), which put her in 2nd place overall when the horn sounded to end the heat. She will move on to the final event in the Triple Crown to be held in Maui.

    Holly is in the next heat and is up against Megan Abubo, Emmanuelly Joly-Thomas and Neridah Falconer. Neridah is the Roxy Pro Champ and is an aggressive surfer. She is the first one up to catch a wave.
    Holly is still trying to catch her first wave, and just as she is paddling out to try, Neridah paddles up next to her and acts as if she’s going for the same wave. Holly tells us in a voiceover that there’s a rule in surfing that if you’ve had a wave already, you don’t paddle inside of someone and steal the wave.

    Clearly aggressive Neridah didn’t care about that rule and only cared about winning the competition. However, Holly cared about Neridah trying to yoink her wave, and told her so… which of course resulted in some verbal exchange and some banging of boards, which ultimately ended in nothing particularly interesting. At the end of the heat, Holly is eliminated from competition, which I guess sparks her anger against Neridah again, because she paddles over to her and they start yelling again. More board banging…more griping… yada yada yada.

    On dry land, Holly discusses with her friends what went on: “Stole my wave. Grabbed my board. Pulled my leash.” You get the idea. Holly says women surfers are “more catty and more viscious” than the men. Uh… Holly, I’d like you to meet Sunny Garcia. You know, Mr. Sunny Slap-you-upside-the-head Garcia.

    Pan back to the house. Charlotte and Damien are doing everything but sleeping together: playing backgammon, taking long walks on the beach, playing in the surf, not having sex….

    Unlike Charlotte and Damien are Padaca and Chaney, who clearly did have sex and are now at the doctor’s office witnessing the result of their sleeping together. They are at the second ultrasound visit and find out that they will be welcoming a baby girl.

    Everyone gets back from their day and gives Damien a full report of the goings on… including Holly’s catfight. Damien tells the camera again in confessional that he doesn’t sleep with his girlfriend (which clearly we already know) because his religion is important to him and he feels like he’s doing the right thing by abstaining. Kudos to you for sticking to your guns. May your right hand hold up handily in your time of need, my friend. Day is done and Damien is hitting the sack… alone.

    Unlike Damien, the rest of the gang is having a party upstairs. The bubbly is popping and the gang is LOUD. Damien comes up from the basement and mentions how loud everyone is. Holly nods and leads the group outside. Where they continue drinking and remain loud. Holly mentions that Damien is surfing the next day and they should respect that and keep it down. Someone tells her that she’s GOT to learn to relax. She has a dumbfounded look on her face and says something to the effect of “I don’t relax.” Clearly.

    The next morning we find out that surf’s up and the men will be competing again at Sunset Beach. Padaca, Damien and Sunny are all competing and the conditions are gnarly. Damien is ranked 5th, but his first performance was lacking. However, with a good day, he is still in contention for the Triple Crown.

    Damien is in the first heat with 3 others, but his waves keep closing or going mushy. At the sound of the horn, Damien is in 3rd. Due to his ranking, he’ll still get to compete in the 3rd round at Pipe, but his hopes of winning the Triple Crown are over. It’s not looking good for Charlotte’s 5-karat ring. That’s all I’m saying.

    The final heat of the day includes both Sunny and Padaca with Andy Irons and a surfer named Shane. Though the conditions were described as gnarly early on, now they can easily be described as mushy and weak. Andy Irons is really the only surfer to pull out any tricks worth seeing in this heat. At the end of 30 minutes, the horn sounds and Sunny and Padaca find themselves in 3rd and 4th place, respectively. The Boarding House: North Shore is now occupied by all losers.

    Padaca handles his loss well. Yeah, he’s disappointed, but he’s taking the loss in stride. Sunny on the other hand is pissed. Back it up, people! When Sunny gets angry, backhands to the head for everyone!

    Once back at the house, Sunny is sitting at the kitchen table with Raina. He’s talking about how he hates to lose and has no one to blame but himself. Raina tries to make him laugh by tickling him and kidding around. Ultimately, she cheers him up. It was actually quite endearing to watch them together. I guess it’s all good till someone checks her out.

    In another room, Damien is talking to Padaca. He assures Padaca that the waves he chose were good, but like everyone else, he had bad luck and the waves fizzled. From the kitchen, Sunny jokes with Damien that he started them off on a day of losing.

    Sorry I didn’t have more to give you this week. The surfing was lacking, Danny was missing and Sunny didn’t peg anyone in the head.

    Tune in next week for more fun in the sun with the North Shore gang.
    Please feel free to email questions and comments to sher@fansofrealitytv.com.

  2. #2
    LG.
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    FORT Writer LG.'s Avatar
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    Super recap, Sher.


    Charlotte asked Damien if he had seen Catherine Zeta Jones’ ring. (Uh, Char – he’s a man. Of course he’s not noticed her ring! “It’s a 10+ karat diamond ring! I want bigger than 5 karats,” she tells him. Bling Bling, Damien! I’m thinking you need to be an award winning professional surfer. Either that, or this girl needs to get herself a Firestone for a fiancé.
    Good grief, had I know that surfers were so flush, I'd be hanging at the beach.
    Help fight cystic fibrosis or just learn more about it at the cystic fibrosis foundation website, www.cff.org and help give my little guy a better future.

  3. #3
    Starbucks is your friend Bill's Avatar
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    Great recap Sher!

    Someone tells her that she’s GOT to learn to relax. She has a dumbfounded look on her face and says something to the effect of “I don’t relax.” Clearly.
    "George Oscar Bluth II, aka GOB, featured magician in the best selling videotape, "Girls With Low Self Esteem" invites you to enter his world.
    -- Arrested Development, Season III

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    The race is back! John's Avatar
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    Once back at the house, Sunny is sitting at the kitchen table with Raina. He’s talking about how he hates to lose and has no one to blame but himself. Raina tries to make him laugh by tickling him and kidding around. Ultimately, she cheers him up. It was actually quite endearing to watch them together. I guess it’s all good till someone checks her out.
    I'm bummed that Sunny didn't have to smack anyone this episode. Maybe he'll get 2 next week, to make up for it. Thanks Sher!

  5. #5
    FORT Fogey
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    Hungover VK has slathered zinc all over her face. Let me say, I agree that it’s good to protect your skin, but I’m thinking VK just had a tube explode in her face and no one would lend her a towel. You GO Roxy girl! Looking good!
    Sher, I wish more people would read your recap. You do such a great job. You are funny and accurate and the above quote is just one example of that.

  6. #6
    FORT Regular Finchy Fire's Avatar
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    she had a hangover? i just thought she put suntan on her face and didn't know that it wasn't all rubbed in....
    Why do bunches of people run from a shark when they see one, if there is a bunch of people, and one of that shark, wouldn't it be easy to just attack him and kick his ass?
    « Jack Handey

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