Welcome to this week’s recap of Blow Out II. This show is all about lots of great hair, one huge ego and a plethora of barely veiled sexual innuendoes. This week, it’s more of the same. Let’s get started!
The show opens in the West Hollywood salon with Jonathan showing around a print ad for his upcoming hair show called “Feeling It: An Evening With Jonathan Antin” [insert your own obvious dirty joke here]. Jonathan tells us that he wants to take hair education to a whole new level. Am I alone in my complete ignorance regarding the existence of hair shows? I thought this was a hair show. I guess we’ll all watch and learn together. At this point, I’m imagining Jonathan wheeling a TV cart into a room and pressing play on a VCR so people can watch episodes of Blow Out together.
One of These Things is Not Like the Other
Although he doesn’t tell us this, Jonathan is also at the West Hollywood salon to keep an eye on Daniel. We see Daniel hanging out at the front desk discussing his need for a new boyfriend. He says he needs three boyfriends because he needs them for different things (wink-wink). Jonathan asks Daniel how his bookings are for the day. Initially, Daniel says he’s almost completely booked for the day. As Jonathan wears him down, we find that he only has two appointments. Jonathan steers him back into the salon, telling him to get back to work and that he needs to be bringing in more clients. He tells the girls at the front desk to keep an eye on Daniel – he wants him to be kept booked and busy. Bobby (aka, Stripper Bobby) tells Jonathan he’s been booked every day. Show of hands: is anyone confused as to why Bobby is booked solid and Daniel is not? I didn’t think so.
In a staged conversation with the other new West Hollywood stylist, Matt, we find out that Jonathan will be doing a “hair class” with the salon assistants. He will be teaching his long layered cut. To keep down the intimidation factor, no other stylists are allowed at the cutting class. Jonathan plans to do the intimidating all on his own.
Jonathan heads over to the Wyndham Bel Age Hotel, the location for the hair show, to meet with the promoter and check on the stage set up. Jonathan waxes rhapsodic about “Feeling It.” He’s says that people who do hair shows don’t do what he’s going to do at this hair show. He tells the lighting guy that he wants it to be ‘f-ing cool.” The lighting designer suggests a rotating stage with a 360 view, surrounded by speakers and plasma screens. Using the phrase, “With all due respect,” (which is code for, “Yeah, that idea sucks.”), Jonathan says that, while that’s a nice idea, he wants this show to be “Hair Unplugged.” Of course, he’ll still be using the blow dryers and flat irons and all that stuff, so I have to wonder what exactly is going to be unplugged. Let’s hope it’s just his microphone.
At the Beverly Hills salon, the stylists who accompanied Jonathan to New York Fashion Week are beginning to arrive back in town. We hear from Alyn and Kiara, who both say it was great. Kim is clearly still upset about not getting to go. She becomes even pissier when she finds out that Kiara took not only her baby with her, but her boyfriend as well. Kim recalls that Jonathan’s reason for not taking her to Fashion Week was that he couldn’t afford it. Kim whines to Scott in the front of the salon and then later in the break room. Green is just not your color, Kimberly.
Kim then makes some vague statements about how things need to change or she’ll just have to think about whether she wants to stay at the salon or not. Here’s the thing: A) I don’t think anyone who’s watched this show for any length of time believes that Kim will leave Jonathan and B) if she’s planning on threatening to leave if Jonathan doesn’t start giving her more perks …. Well, that would only work if she was someone with the talent of Kiara or Jason. Jonathan may love her like family, but he’s also a businessman and she’s not exactly packing them in.
There Must Be Something In The Water
Jonathan tells us that he is known for his long layered cut and charges $500 for it. This is the cut he will be teaching the assistants at the cutting class. Edward, who seems to have made a Freaky Friday-esque body switch with Scott for this episode, is already nervous about the class. Then, Jonathan calls to tell Edward that he has moved up the date of the class – it will be tonight. This throws Ed into a further tizzy as he tries to hunt up a model in four hours. We see Edward wandering the streets of Beverly Hills trolling for a model. Barbie Kelly comes through for him by calling a friend of a client, who is willing to be Edward’s model. That’s one brave woman. Scott tells Jonathan he’s going to “kick ass” at the cutting class. He then throws a combo head tilt and hip cock, accompanied by a coy smile, at Jonathan. Jonathan seems amused by Scott, but not enticed. I think Scott probably flirts with everyone and, therefore, reminds Jonathan of himself.
At the cutting class, the Edward-Scott body switch continues. As each of the assistants get started on the hair cut, Scott is doing very well. Jonathan praises him loudly to everyone. Ed, on the other hand is having a melt down. He says that doing hair is an art and doing this cut next to Jonathan is like painting next to Van Gogh. I’m sure Jonathan would be flattered by this comparison, particularly in light of Van Gogh’s extremely stable emotional state (*sarcasm alert*). In the middle of doing his cut, with Jonathan watching, Edward flips out and drops his comb. He asks if he can take a break and get some fresh air. Edward then goes outside and calls his mother, who either is mute or said nothing interesting or supportive. It’s like Ed is talking to air.
Edward returns to the salon, but is still upset. He wants to talk to Jonathan for a few minutes, but Jonathan says that they’re in the middle of class and Edward either needs to finish his cut, or Jonathan can finish it for him. Ed finally goes back to finish the cut. Scott is once again singled by Jonathan. His cut comes out beautifully and Jonathan uses it as an example of a great cut. Ed’s cut is not nearly as good and he is clearly upset and disappointed in himself. Luckily for his model, it’s not a bad cut, so she doesn’t have to wear a bag over her head or anything.
The Further Adventures of Spike Head
At the Beverly Hills salon the next day, Scott is having a discussion about comb twirling with Jonathan. Edward is still freaking out over the cutting class. Barbie Kelly tries to calm him down, telling him that it’s only a class. Scott says that he panicked. I’m not sure what else was said here because I was distracted by the drag queen working in Kelly’s station. Note to Kelly: hair stylist style thyself!
Jonathan has a meeting with the team for Jonathan Product. Along with Tina and Beth Anne, is Scott (aka Spike Head) from Zorbit. In another round of passive aggressiveness, Scott is 45 minutes late to the meeting. He is then upset that Jonathan will not stop, in the middle of the cut he is doing, to meet with them.
Once Jonathan is finally finished, they adjourn to the back room to meet. The topic this week is the design of the bottles for Jonathan Product. Apparently, this is not really going to be a discussion, because Scott pulls out one design. I’d think that he’d bring some options for Jonathan to pick from. No deal. Jonathan even asks why Scott has not brought any other options. Scott goes on, saying that if they were meeting at Zorbit, he would be able to give Jonathan more options. I had no idea plastic bottles were so heavy and cumbersome, Scott. Jonathan asks how hard it is to order a plastic bottle. Scott retorts that Jonathan Antin isn’t the only person in the world who wants a plastic bottle. WTF? Scott then pokes Jonathan in the arm with one of the bottles, as if trying to further make his point.
Smackdown on Blow Out!!!
After telling Scott not to touch him like that in his salon, Scott then snaps back that this is why he wanted the meeting to take place in his office (where he could apparently prod Jonathan with all the containers he wanted). Then comes the big macho line we’ve all been waiting for (*paraphrasing*): “Let’s take it outside” (WooHOO! It’s oNNNNN!!!) Scott asks us what is with the alpha male stuff. Tina and Beth Anne have remained silent for this whole exchange. Tina has her hands over her face for much of it. She was probably trying to go to her “happy place.” When this is over, Tina and Beth Anne will both need to come in for some color to cover all the gray hairs they’ve sprouted from dealing with Jonathan and Scott.
Out back in the alley (this is so “street,” isn’t it?), Jonathan and Scott have it out. Jonathan tells Scott that it is his product line and that Scott was hired to do a job. Scott then uses the phrase, “pardon my French,” which solidifies my belief that Scott is a complete tool. He then throws out the line we’ve heard in every preview all season about Jonathan’s “beauty school education.” Jonathan tells him to get out.... only not that nicely. Out front, Scott complains to Tina and Beth Anne about Jonathan and his attitude. Beth Anne says that, in light of Scott’s personality, she finds it hard to believe that he’s never had arguments with clients before. She’s got you there Scott.
Jonathan knows that Kimberly is still bruised over not being asked to go to Fashion Week. In an effort to mend fences with her, he asks her to accompany him to a photo shoot featuring female DJ’s, for BPM Magazine. Jonathan will start her off, but then he will have to leave. At that point, she will take over and do the hair for the rest of the shoot. Kim perks up immediately. To her credit, Kim does a great job and each of the DJ’s is very happy with her work. The photographer is also very pleased, saying that she’s one of the best stylists they’ve worked with. Kim calls Jonathan’s cell and leaves a worshipful voice mail telling him that she owes everything to him and that she knows he would be so proud of her if he could see the hair. She tells him that she will be sending a picture of one of the hairstyles to his cell phone.
Make it Stop! Make it Stop! <---------Me, rocking in corner
We should all be thankful for last week’s episode because there was no therapy session. No such luck this week, people. Jonathan’s got issues again, so we’re off to the shrink’s office. The main thing we find out this week is that Jonathan’s relationship with Sescie (he refers to her as “that new girl” – I’m sure she was feeling really special as she watched this episode) is probably the first healthy, drama-free relationship he’s had …aside from the drama that he brings to it, of course. He’s not quite sure how to have a normal relationship. He also wonders about Zorbit Scott. Is Scott really as impossible as Jonathan thinks he is or is it Jonathan? Do you really want an answer to that one?
Jonathan then heads home to hang with “his babe.” Remember last week when Jonathan cut and styled her hair? Yeah, well this week it’s like that never happened, because her hair is back in that bun. Jonathan gets into bed as she cooks for him and then serves him in bed. I watched this scene a few times and I still don’t know that she cooked for him. Let’s just say it was a big scoop of vanilla ice cream in a bowl of soup – that’s what it looked like to me anyway. Not very appetizing.
Next Stop: Toads and Pestilence
In the Beverly Hills salon, it’s the reality TV version of the Bermuda Triangle. In walks Kimberly Caldwell from American Idol. Jonathan tells us that her short blonde hair has been fried from all the coloring and abuse from photo shoots. Anyone seen these photo shoots? Me neither. Kiara will be doing extensions for Kim, who wants to be able to have “Big Texas Hair.” There will also be a “Big Texas Bill” of $2,000 - $3,000 for those extensions. Where’s she getting that kind of money? Seriously, I liked Kim when she was on AI, but I haven’t seen her since. Kiara does a great job with the extensions and Kim ends up with Barbie’s Dream Hair, which seems to be what she wanted. To be honest, the last time I saw hair that blonde and that long, I was at Disneyland watching Alice in Wonderland ride by on a parade float.
Jonathan takes a call from Jason, who is still in New York. Jason tells Jonathan that he has been using the samples of Jonathan Product on his clients and New York and it is UN-believable. He says that the Dirt is “amazing.” Proving that Jonathan cannot go one week without weeping over some minor event, he gets choked up. As he wipes away tears, he thanks Jason for calling.
Jonathan wants to have a meeting with Jason and Kiara about “something.” It’s all very junior high and Jonathan won’t tell them what the “something” is. This prompts questions like “Am I in trouble?” Oh jeez. The “something” turns out to be the “Feeling It” hair show. He wants Jason and Kiara to open for him at the show. Kiara will start off by doing extensions and Jason will do a razor cut. SO – not only is there such a thing as a hair show, there are opening acts and headliners. Jonathan punctuates his pep talk to them with “Rock and Roll!” It’s probably more of a Moby, tragically-hip kind of rock n’ roll than a strung-out, Jefferson Airplane-White Rabbit kind of rock n’ roll.
Rock N’ Roll Hair Stylin’
It’s time for the hair show. I have to say, Jonathan is one helluva good businessman. Not only can he get people to pay him $500+ for a haircut, he can get people to pay to watch him do a $500 haircut. That’s marketing genius, people.
The Grand Salon of the Wyndham Bel Age Hotel is decked out like a martini bar (and I mean that in a good way). Jonathan tells us that stylists from around the country have come and paid $200 to see him cut hair. Kiara is up first with the extensions. She explains her technique and the audience watches her on big plasma screens. While she continues working, Jason comes on to do his razor cut. Finally, Jonathan is up with his long layered cut. While this is not something I’d pay $200 to watch, the attendees who are interviewed seem to think it was worth it. I have to believe that there were interviews with disgruntled attendees who felt totally ripped off by the “Evening with Jonathan Antin.” These clips are probably on the cutting room floor. Maybe that will be on the DVD. This hair show had to be more exciting in person. Either that, or these people have money to burn and just wanted to watch some egomaniac cut hair…. or they just wanted to be on TV.
Next week: Ed has another melt down when Alyn reprimands him for blocking the front desk, in a purely humanitarian gesture, Jonathan treks to Las Vegas to help his sister with the Pussycat Dolls and Alyn flips out over Kiara breastfeeding in the break room. As this is probably Alyn’s first look at an actual breast, you can understand his alarm.
Critical@fansofrealitytv.com may have just the teeniest baby crush on Jonathan Antin, but she would never actually admit it.