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Thread: The Biggest Loser Recap 05/17/11 - Recap Of A Recap

  1. #1
    Anarchist AJane's Avatar
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    Nov 2003

    The Biggest Loser Recap 05/17/11 - Recap Of A Recap

    It's week 20, and the end of Longest Reality Show Season EVER (I'm not even making that up - Bob said it) is one short week and endless previously seen footage away.

    For those keeping track, the numbers for the final 4 rack up as follows:

    Olivia - total loss 108 lbs
    Jay - total loss 154 lbs
    Irene - total loss 108 lbs
    Hannah - total loss 98 lbs

    Let the gloating commence! And no one does it better than smug sisters Olivia and Hannah, who have become progressively more unlikable with each pound lost. However, there is some satisfaction in the fact, as Bob remarks with a smirk, that an opera singer beat out big boys Justin and Rulon for a final four spot. Jillian hauls out a sledgehammer for a training session - a real one, rather than her usual figurative one - and hopefully, will keep Hannah out of breath long enough to keep her from telling us for the 6,298th time how awesome and beautiful she feels.

    As this particular final four doesn't have the sack to run the usual end-of-season marathon - and yeah, I'm gonna keep harping on that, particularly because they were christened "the fittest finalists ever" a week or two ago - Ali presents them with a lame-o challenge, sponsored by Jennie-O turkey. Whomever can produce the nummiest turkey burger gets $5,000, and will be able to send someone to the Biggest Loser Ranch for a 2-week stay. They'll be judged by a bunch of kids, a reality show gimmick that's been warmed over enough to dry out the juiciest turkey burger. (Curtis Stone is nowhere in sight, and just when Hannah is freshly blonde and sporting some new self-esteem.) Olivia's ego takes a hit when the kids make barfing noises at her green yogurt condiment, while Jay proves he knows what kids like and takes the prize for his "volcano burger".

    Next up, Ali leads everyone to a golf course where last season's winner Patrick House is in the house! If, uh, a golf course can be considered a "house". I get messed up when I try to use slang to get down with the kids. (See what I mean?) Each Loser has a golf bag with their name on it, and the amount of weight they have lost thus far. There's 19 holes, and at each hole, everyone will drop the amount of weight they lost in each corresponding week on campus. First place will receive a $15,000 home gym from Cybex. Considerable whining ensues, accompanied by a cheesy soundtrack. Hannah wins, followed by Irene, Olivia, and Jay. Ali says everyone is so freakin' great they'll all receive a Biggest Loser Arc Trainer. I checked it out online and all I can say is that I hope everyone has a big-ass basement to wedge that sucker into.

    It's the last last-chance workout and we've all been there before, folks, nothing to see here. So let's just sashay our way to the weigh-in, shall we?
    The top 2 losers get a pass to the finale, where the last 2 are below the yellow line and must beg for America's votes to get them to the final 3 so they can vie for the $250K grand prize.

    Irene - start weight 147, down to 144, 2.04%
    Jay - start weight 246, down to 242, 1.63%
    Olivia, start weight 153, down to 149, 2.61%
    Hannah, start weight 150, down to 146, 2.67%

    The sisters get the coveted passes to final 3, while Irene & Jay must plead their cases to the viewers to earn the last spot. The final final weigh-in thus complete, Ali sends everyone home in new outfits, Hannah sporting a startling amount of cleavage. Well, she's officially on the market now, after all.

    And so begins 30 minutes-plus of clips we've seen approximately 3,821 times already these past 5 months (and will see again at the finale next week). Everyone goes home to the exact same crowd that cheered 'em all at their first homecoming a scant few weeks ago. It would take a better woman - nay, a better recapper - than me to carefully record all the goings-on, but there's no need for me to lull you to sleep if you're still awake after having read this far. If you voted, you had already made up your mind who to vote for before Jay & Irene's uninspired speeches, so there's no point in trying to subliminally motivate you to vote for Irene.

    Next week, we finally - FINALLY - welcome the finale, where the contestants are liberally spray-tanned, dehydrated, and starved within an inch of their lives in hopes of taking home some cash to compensate for their public humiliation on reality TV. The rest of us? Well, we get our Tuesday evenings back, and after this marathon season, that's sweeter than any ice cream flavor Ben & Jerry's can dream up.
    All my life, I have felt destiny tugging at my sleeve.~ Thursday Next
    I don't want to "go with the flow". The flow just washes you down the drain. I want to fight the flow.- Henry Rollins
    All this spiritual talk is great and everything...but at the end of the day, there's nothing like a pair of skinny jeans. - Jillian Michaels

  2. #2
    Check out my reality! AZHotFlash's Avatar
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    Oct 2006
    Tucson Arizona

    Re: The Biggest Loser Recap 05/17/11 - Recap Of A Recap

    my votes went to Irene... I want her to wipe out all the competition!

    (I haven't seen the last two episodes since Glee had new one's these past couple of weeks..)
    Wasting away another summer...

  3. #3
    PWS is offline
    FORT Fogey
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    Jul 2004

    Re: The Biggest Loser Recap 05/17/11 - Recap Of A Recap

    Thanks for the recap!
    I agree the homecomings are like reruns, although the ladies having dropped several more pounds are passing from looking good to looking hot. Sadly the sole guy left still has quite a way to go before he reaches that, still having a lot of gut left. He definitely looks better than he started by a lot though. I liked that twirling version of each they showed...especially since the last month or two we've been looking at t-shirts, and the twirly views were jog bra or topless depending, right down to the lates week, so you can really see what people look like.
    Olivia's husband has lost so much he looks like HE was on TBL himself.

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