Well hello there Biggest Loser fans! Your regularly scheduled recapper, marybethp, won't be with you this week because she's off wondering what she's done today to make herself feel proud. It looks as though you are stuck with me. I can't possibly snark on this show as wonderfully as she, but I will give it my best shot. Onward we go!
I'm with most of you when I wonder why the heck this show is two hours. I usually DVR it so I can fast forward through most of the boring junk. But for the good of the masses, I suppose I can actually watch the whole show. Yep. The. Whole. Thing.
The show begins with Phil pondering the departure of his wife, Amy. He thinks the blue team's decision had a little bit to do with him. Really? I thought the blue team loved you, Phil! He sheds a few man tears and claims he doesn't know who he can trust.
Bob's team is chillin' in the kitchen when Bob enters to find out which cattle was led to slaughter at the last elimination. He doesn't see Vicky immediately and thinks it might be her (we could only hope), but instead finds out it was Amy P. He claims he is heartbroken and asks to talk to Brady and Vicky alone. Bob doesn't believe that Brady only lost 3 pounds and insinuates that the blue team threw the weigh in to get rid of Amy. He thinks something doesn't add up and declares Vicky the biggest game player in Biggest Loser history. Vicky claims they didn't throw the weigh in and blames it on Brady's eating schedule. Bob's vein starts throbbing in that sexy forehead of his and he tells Brady he needs to stick to eating every 4 hours.
It's temptation time and the teams walk up to find Allison standing in front of several small tables which have covered food dishes on them. The special guest for the temptation is David Zinczenko. Apparently he's someone famous and/or important, but I have no clue who he is. (For anyone who cares, he's the editor in chief of Men's Health and the author of Eat This, Not That) Anyway, back to the temptation. There are two different foods on each table. The players have to guess which one is healthier. The first team to get five correct answers wins the temptation. The winners get a 40 pound advantage at this week's challenge. Whaaaaaaaaaat? I actually hit 'rewind' and 'play' again just to make sure. Yep, she said 40. The players have no idea what that will have to do with the challenge or what the challenge is, but I'm pretty sure it's a good thing.
Which is healthier? A hot dog with ketchup, mustard, and relish OR nachos with cheese
Heba and Michelle both answer hot dog, and both teams are correct. The hot dog has 280 calories and the nachos have 692.
Score: Black 1 Blue 1
Which is healthier? One small plate of spaghetti with marinara sauce and spicy Italian sausage with a side Caesar salad OR a small plate of penne with marinara and garlic shrimp with a garden side salad with fat free Italian dressing
Vicky and Renee both answer the penne with shrimp and both teams are correct. The spaghetti has 1030 calories and and penne only has 660.
Score: Black 2 Blue 2
Which is healthier? Chicken and shrimp fajitas with the works or 24 chicken nuggets with barbecue sauce
Colleen guesses fajitas and Amy guesses chicken nuggets. Amy is right. The fajitas have 1360 calories while the nuggets have 1120.
Score: Black 2 Blue 3
Which is healthier? A multi grain bagel with light cream cheese or an English muffin with ham, egg, and cheese
Phil and Brady both guess the English muffin sandwich and both are correct. The bagel has 400 calories and the sandwich has 310.
Score: Black 3 Blue 4
Which is healthier? A grilled chicken burrito with the works or 18 light beers
Heba guesses the burrito and Michelle guesses the beer. Heba is correct. The burrito has 1092 calories and the beer has 1152.
Score: Black 3 Blue 5
Blue wins! They get a 40 pound advantage at the upcoming challenge.
Back at the ranch, Heba whines about Phil and his manipulative ways. She can't believe he was trying to “round the troops” against her. She decides to interrupt the black team's dinner and in true high school fashion, confronts the black team and asks why they are all talking about her. The blue team “calls out” Phil and he stumbles around for words. Heba blabs on and on and Colleen gets up and leaves the table. Heba tells Phil about 8000 times that he is hateful and he hates her. Heba calls him a slimy snake in the grass and tells him that she is embarrassed for him. He leaves to be alone and the rest of the black team follows him and offers him support. Awww. Can the cheese factor get any higher? Rainbows and puppies and cotton candy all around!
I guess the contestants aren't doing a whole lot of working out on this episode, because after Heba the drama queen is finished with her tirade, it's time for the challenge. Ali tells the black team that so far in the game, they've lost a combined weight of 180lbs and the blue team has lost a combined weight of 226lbs. For the challenge, each team will get raised high into the air. Each team will get hooked into a harness and each player will hold onto a rope. They will be fighting against their own body weight. When the entire team lets go, that team is out. Since the blue team won a 40lb advantage at the temptation, the black team will have to carry an additional 40lb for this challenge. The team that wins the challenge will get to pick a player from the other team and make that player's weight not count at the upcoming weigh in. Get that? The challenge begins and Ali informs the blue team that they are carrying 932lbs and the black team is carrying 918lbs. *insert time wasting filler and clever Ali quips here*
25 minutes into the competition, Ali announces that at 30 minutes into the competition, one member from each team will have to let go. Discussions ensue and Michelle will let go for the black team and Vicky will let go for the blue team. After 45 minutes or so, Phil lets go, then Coleen, and then Michelle. The blue team wins their first challenge! They get to decide which member of the black team will have their weight not count this week.
Back at the house, the blue team celebrates and talks about who they want not to count from the other team. Heba does a whole bunch of math, and they actually decide to let Phil weigh in. I guess we have to “weight” and see who they pick. Sorry. I had to.
Hey look, there's Jillian! She's actually on this episode. The black team fills her in on the temptation and challenge. Jillian automatically assumes that Phil or Renee will be sitting out, but nobody is certain. Over in blue land, Heba and Amy are on the hunt for snacks. *insert Bob's plug for Extra gum here* Amy and Heba pop in a piece and Mmmmmmmmmm in unison.
What's that smell? Desperation and perspiration? Ah yes, that must mean it's time for the last chance workout! Bob and Jillian are torturous as usual. Bob has his team run laps while Jillian is kicking butt inside the gym. You know the drill. Grunting, groaning, sweating, etc.
It's weigh in time and after the players file into the room, Ali congratulates everyone on making it to the halfway point in the season. The blue team has decided that Michelle's weight for the black team won't count. She has no idea why they picked her. I don't either. Oh well, I'm sure Queen Biotches Vicky and Heba had their reasons.
Michelle: Last week 202/This week 200/(-2) (Doesn't count)
Renee: Last week 225/This week 222/(-3)
Coleen: Last week 179/This week 177/(-2)
Phil: Last week 272/This week 269/(-3)
Total (-8) for a total percentage of 1.18%
Brady: Last week 283/This week 270/(-13)
Vicky: Last week 203/This week 201/(-2)
Heba: Last week 253/This week 247/(-6)
Amy: Last week 193/This week 187/(-6)
Total (-27) for a total percentage of 2.90%
Brady's weight loss for the blue team was more than the entire black team combined! He has set a new Biggest Loser record. I like Brady. I wish he wasn't married to that wench Vicky. Oops, did I say that out loud? Obviously, the black team was annihilated at this weigh in and will face elimination. Renee was the biggest loser on the black team, so she will have immunity at the elimination ceremony. Coleen goes to Renee and Michelle and reminds them that it's been her dream to be on the show. Phil joins in and apologizes for letting everyone down this week but assures them he'll have a good week next week if he stays.
The votes are in!
Renee votes for Phil
Michelle votes for Phil
Phil votes for Michelle
Coleen votes for Phil
Phil has been eliminated from the black team. I suppose that's for the best because after his wife left, I think his heart left with her. Oh no, with Phil gone, who is going to be Heinous Heba's punching bag? I volunteer Vicky! The day after Phil leaves, he stops at the jewelry store to get his wife a 20th anniversary present. He meets her in the spot where he asked her to marry him. Aww... I heart Phil and Amy. He gives her a ring and asks her to marry him again. They exchange their vows and get married again. When Phil started the show, he weighed 331lbs. He now weighs 225. Wow. Bravo.
Phil: America, the next time you see me, I'll be so hot that you won't even care that I don't have any hair!
In 2 weeks, the episode is going to be the most shocking one ever. EVER. Isn't this the same preview they show every week? The teams are broken up and everyone will now compete as singles. The booted contestants from this season return, and there's a “shocking” twist at the end.
What could it be? Will Heba and Vicky suddenly grow hearts? That would certainly be a shocking twist! Tune in to find out!