+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: The Biggest Loser Recap 03/22/11 - Back In Black

  1. #1
    Anarchist AJane's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Charming
    Posts
    9,355

    The Biggest Loser Recap 03/22/11 - Back In Black

    You know what the problem with this season is? The contestants are all so darn nice. Even when they weakly try to gameplay, someone invevitably breaks down in tears of regret. And the trainers? Bob is still too nice even when he's trying to be mean, Jillian's lost interest, Cara yells but it's hard to take an 85-lb boxer seriously, and Brett's so quiet I keep forgetting his name. To even things out a bit, host Ali Sweeney has had to put her bitch hat on a time or two. So when the Losers convene in the gym, she can barely contain her delight when she throws yet another twist their way - everyone is being split into 3-member teams, with one trainer per team. There's colored dots and the usual non-random team selection, as follows:

    Red Team - Jen, Justin, Courtney, Trainer - Brett
    Green Team - Kaylee, Ken, Austin, Trainer - Cara
    Blue Team - Moses, Irene, Olivia, Trainer - Bob
    Black Team - Rulon, Hannah, Trainer - Jillian

    Now, we know ol' Rulon is the size of two or more people, and Jillian may be that good of a trainer, but it does seem a tad unfair anyway. To even things up in an unfair kind of way, Rulon and Hannah get to pick an elminated contestant to return to the ranch and join the new Black Team. Who will they choose? Hint - it's not Arthur. Yeah, I was disappointed too.

    The teams spend time bonding with their trainers, so we're treated to the now-standard scenes of Moses crying, Cara's team boxing, and Jillian jumping on Rulon's back. Frankly, it must be hard to resist riding Rulon like he was a trained pet hippo...I'm betting Bob has taken a couple turns himself. The teams are ushered to the next challenge, where Rulon & Hannah reveal that they are bringing back Jay. I'm baffled as to why they would choose to bring back someone who might be actual competition for the Biggest Loser title, but like I said - the gameplay here is weak. Jen is delighted to see her daddy again, but the news for the Black Team isn't great - Jay's weight won't count at the weigh-in, plus he's immune from elimination. Therefore, should the Black Team lose the weigh-in, Rulon & Hannah will definitely be the two on the chopping block at the vote.

    The challenge looks complex but is as simple as it comes - the teams must hold weights on a pulley system representing the amount of weight they have lost. The teams will be eliminated as they drop the weights. The weights are all very equal - as groups, the Blue Team has lost 290 lbs, Red 289, Green 289, and Black 322. Which is even enough to make us suppose that Jay's return wasn't totally up to Hannah & Rulon. The winning team will receive video chats from home, which would be more special if they hadn't just been home a couple weeks ago. Indeed, most of the teams are blase about the reward, and Green drops out first. Black is next, then Justin bails on his female teammates. Jen & Courtney gamely hang on while Justin chants supportively in their ears. I would've preferred his upper body strength rather than a cheerleader, but whatever. Moses, weak from crying, drops out, but Irene & Olivia can't manage the task on their own and the weight quickly comes crashing down. The win goes to the Red Team, but they kindly offer their video chats to the Blues. This brings on a fresh spate of tears from you-know-who, which moves me to fast-forward past the chat with Moses' wife, but rest assured it was emotional enough to send NBC's tissue budget rocketing into the red.

    After the last-chance workout, where Bob can't resist bailing on his team to participate in a lopsided tug-of-war featuring him & Jillian vs. Rulon, which sends Jillian's skinny ass bumping across the gym floor, it's time for the final weigh-in. The team with the lowest percentage of weight loss will face elimination, but the other teams will be the only ones voting. The biggest loser on the losing team will be immune from elimination.

    Black Team

    Jay (immune) 289, down to 282 (will not count towards team percentage)
    Hannah, 176, down to 172
    Rulon, 335, down to 330
    1.76%

    Blue Team

    Moses, 303, down to 300
    Irene, 178, down to 173
    Olivia, 186, down to 180
    1.95%, safe from elimination

    Red Team

    Jen, 191, down to 187
    Courtney, 237, down to 234
    Justin, 249, down to 247
    1.33%, making the Black Team safe from elimination

    Green Team

    Kaylee, 174, remains at 174
    Austin, 275, down to 272
    Ken, 270, down to 263
    1.39%, safe from elimination

    As Kaylee had decided she wanted to go home, Ken's great 7-lb loss is a downer (not in a good way). She snivels dramatically enough to rival her father, and Brett is understandably pissy about the crappy Green Team gameplay. Ken is apologetic but complains that it's the "only" way to leave the ranch. Ali gets her snark up and barks that the ranch isn't a prison, and that anyone may leave when they choose. She tells Kaylee that she can go home if she wants to, but it's not going to save a Red Team member - there's gonna be an elimination tonight regardless. Moses talks his daughter into remaining at the ranch, so all the scheming ends up being for naught.

    So, as Jen's the biggest loser on the Red Team, she's safe tonight, leaving Justin & Courtney are on the block. The teams all meet in the ranch living room and Justin insists on taking the bullet for his teammate. As Courtney still has a fair bit of weight to lose, she doesn't fight his decision too hard. At the vote, Rulon opts not to write his friend's name down, but the rest of the contestants abide by Justin's request and he is sent home. Predictably, Justin proves successful at home, and from a start weight of 365 lbs, he has dropped to 225. He's started his own little Biggest Loser-type fitness class in his Utah hometown, called "Justin's Call-Out". Being a humble, retiring sort, he has t-shirts emblazoned with his name and a logo and spends his mornings putting overweight acquaintances through the workout paces learned on the show. This guy could give Jillian a run for her marketing money. Guess he learned a couple lessons about name-branding along with how to do speedwork on the treadmills.
    All my life, I have felt destiny tugging at my sleeve.~ Thursday Next
    I don't want to "go with the flow". The flow just washes you down the drain. I want to fight the flow.- Henry Rollins
    All this spiritual talk is great and everything...but at the end of the day, there's nothing like a pair of skinny jeans. - Jillian Michaels

  2. #2
    FORT Newbie
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    4

    Re: The Biggest Loser Recap 03/22/11 - Back In Black

    I had to join this community just so I could log in and tell you that these Biggest Loser recaps are the funniest things I have ever read!! I have been reading them to my husband- we crack up at each one because you just nail it Thanks for the laughs! Keep it up!

  3. #3
    Diet Coke Addict Dicechick's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Vegas, baby!!
    Age
    49
    Posts
    264

    Re: The Biggest Loser Recap 03/22/11 - Back In Black

    Quote Originally Posted by LeahK View Post
    I had to join this community just so I could log in and tell you that these Biggest Loser recaps are the funniest things I have ever read!! I have been reading them to my husband- we crack up at each one because you just nail it Thanks for the laughs! Keep it up!
    That is the same reason I joined a few years ago. The snarky recaps are quite often better than the actual show! There are a talented bunch of writers here and they deserve kudos.
    Put on your big girl panties and deal with it!!

  4. #4
    PWS
    PWS is offline
    FORT Fogey
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Posts
    15,392

    Re: The Biggest Loser Recap 03/22/11 - Back In Black

    !

    Re this week...have to say the weight losses this week seem to have dropped off. Maybe it was a "short" week, since we know that not all the "weeks" are equal, but still....

  5. #5
    Go CATS!!!! mandmmom2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Kentucky
    Posts
    2,780

    Re: The Biggest Loser Recap 03/22/11 - Back In Black

    I was thinking the same thing PWS. Sometimes they weigh days after last weigh in and sometimes it is a week and a half. It must have been a short week for them. These big guys should be dropping the weight like crazy!!!!!! Even if a shorter week...
    "Where you are today is where your mind put you. Where you'll be tomorrow is where your mind puts you." Billy Banks

  6. #6
    Anarchist AJane's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Charming
    Posts
    9,355

    Re: The Biggest Loser Recap 03/22/11 - Back In Black

    Thanks for the kind comments!

    Regarding the weight-loss during this particular "week" - what remains a mystery is how Olivia, Hannah & Jen still managed to post respectable losses while most of the big boys fell short. I don't get the previews but I noticed from reading posts here that Rulon was caught cheating. I'm wondering if there also isn't a gameplay aspect - are they trying to show themselves as less of a threat for F4? If it's strategy it's pretty dumb...unless they're planning on really cranking it up, that marathon is going to be un-doable.
    All my life, I have felt destiny tugging at my sleeve.~ Thursday Next
    I don't want to "go with the flow". The flow just washes you down the drain. I want to fight the flow.- Henry Rollins
    All this spiritual talk is great and everything...but at the end of the day, there's nothing like a pair of skinny jeans. - Jillian Michaels

+ Reply to Thread

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.